won't say i'm in love

yixing/wu fan

2,943 words.

luhan is positive yixing is in love with the bookworm
of a customer that comes to the coffee shop
everyday an hour before closing, but yixing denies it.

inspiration: [ x ] don't judge me pls

There’s a tall boy with blonde hair and a book in his hand that comes to the coffee shop every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday exactly an hour before closing. He sits near the window, reading a different book every week, but drinking the same order of coffee everyday - a small caramel high rise with extra whipped cream.

Yixing starts noticing this boy exactly one week after being hired at the coffee shop thanks to his friend Luhan. College expenses aren’t cheap and having a second job is tiring, but not a bad idea when his first job pays him a miserably small amount of money.

Wu Fan starts noticing the new employee exactly one week after he’s hired. He notices the new face at the register when he orders his coffee on a cold, Friday night. The new employee - Yixing - as Wu Fan reads on his nametag one day, is a small boy with brown hair, and a dimple on his right cheek that has the tendency to appear every time he smiles, which Wu Fan notices is quite often.

It takes two days for Wu Fan to begin noticing the difference in the way his coffee tastes when Yixing makes it. The taste is different, but not bad - not bad at all. The taste is still sweet and delicious, the extra whipped cream never failing to make itself present on his drink. But the feeling he gets while drinking it is something different than when Luhan made it. There’s a new feeling of warmness and comfort, perfect for those cold nights when the temperature is below zero degrees. The way the sweet taste still lingers on his tongue after finishing his drink was something new to him, too.

It takes two weeks for Luhan to start noticing the way the tall blonde boy sitting by the window begins to smile more, the way he starts coming more often, and the way he looks at his friend Yixing with a look that Luhan hadn’t seemed to recognize in Wu Fan’s eyes before.

On the fourth week of working at the coffee shop, Yixing notices a familiar book in Wu Fan’s hands the moment he walks in the door.

“One small caramel high-”

“-rise with extra whipped cream, I know.” He looks up at the taller boy with a playful grin on his face, and the other smiles back shyly.

“The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” Yixing points out, gesturing to the small book Wu Fan carries in his hand. “Good choice. It’s a great book.”

Wu Fan responds with a raised eyebrow and a hint of another small smile dancing on his lips. “Really? I started reading it just last night.” He admits.

“Yes. The way the characters are developed throughout the entire book is amazing, really. Especially the main character, Charlie. And the writing style is extraordinary as well.” Yixing’s eyes are shining by now. Talking about one of his favorite books, even if it’s with a stranger, is something he always finds joy in...Even if Luhan would end up making fun of him and calling him a dweeb.

He hands Wu Fan his drink, and gives him a thumbs up. “Keep reading, you’ll love it.”

“Oh, I will.”

________________________________________

The next day, Wu Fan enters the coffee shop with the same book in his hand and a wider grin on his face, his eyes beaming at Yixing the moment he sees him.

“How’s the book so far?” Asks Yixing, smiling, his dimple present on his right cheek, and an eyebrow raised as he makes Wu Fan’s drink.

“I love it already!” Wu Fan’s answer comes out more cheerful than expected, but it doesn’t matter because a book as great as this deserves a lot of praising, he thinks.

The shorter boy of the two stifles a laugh, and nods. “I love it too.” He admits. “What’s your favorite book?”

The question comes so sudden to Wu Fan that he ends up staring at Yixing for a few seconds, blinking, before letting words come out of his mouth. “Uh...”

Yixing chuckles, but realizes that the question is sudden to the stranger whom he’s started talking to just one day ago. “I’ve seen you read a bunch of books every time you come around here, and I like reading a lot too, so I just figured I might ask.”

The taller male gives him an awkward smile in return, but proceeds to bite his bottom lip and thinks of an answer. “Hm, I’d say Looking For Alaska by John Green.”

Yixing’s eyes widen at the familiar title of the book, and he wants to scream but stops himself because he doesn’t want this boy to think he’s a weirdo or anything. “Oh my gosh, me too!” He laughs. Wu Fan laughs too, finding it rather amusing and adorable how someone can smile so brightly because of a piece of literature. “We have to talk about how amazing this wonderful piece of literature is!”

________________________________________

And so, days go by, and Wu Fan soon finds himself showing up at the coffee shop everyday. The two boys spend their time talking about books among other things for hours and hours, Wu Fan often being the last person to leave the coffee shop. Eventually, Yixing learns the blonde boy’s name after realizing that for the longest time, the boy’s name remained unknown to him.

“Wu Fan.” He lets Wu Fan’s name slip from his tongue so smoothly, adding such precision to it, and the other decides he likes the way his name dances on the boy’s tongue.

Yixing learns that Wu Fan is also a college student, majoring in psychology, while Wu Fan learns that Yixing is majoring in literature, but his passion for dancing never leaving his heart. They learn each other’s ages, likes, dislikes, fears, exchanging smiles, laughs, and even heart-to-heart conversations in between it all.

________________________________________

“So when are you planning on confessing your undying love to Wu Fan?” Luhan asks one day when he sees that certain smile Yixing has been wearing on his lips ever since he met Wu Fan. Yixing jumps in complete surprise, almost dropping his customer’s coffee order, and turns to see Luhan grinning foolishly at him.

“Jesus, Luhan, don’t do that!” He says, holding a hand to his chest.

Luhan cackles loudly, only to get an angry glare from Yixing. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” He puts his hands up defensively before his derpy cackles fade into a light chuckle.

“But you didn’t answer my question. When are you going to confess your love to that Wu Fan guy?”

Yixing ends up choking on air, something he never thought was possible before, and looks up at Luhan with wide eyes. “W-what? What are you t-talking about?” Luhan only snickers and shakes his head at his response, and all Yixing wants to do is kick himself in the head for being so dumb and tripping over his words.

“That Wu Fan guy,” Luhan repeats, gesturing to the boy sitting by the window with the book in his hand, and coffee in the other. “You’re in love with him, right?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that little smile you always have on your lips every time he comes around here. Or the way you two talk for hours. Or the way he’s constantly the last one to leave.”

Yixing exhales a laugh in disbelief. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns on his heel, and (tries) making his way back to the kitchen to finish making his customer’s coffee order before Luhan stops him.

Swinging an arm around him, Luhan pulls the younger male closer to him and chuckles. “Oh, Yixing, Yixing, Yixing.” He sighs, shaking his head with a mischievous smile plastered on his lips. “I’m dumb, but not that much. Any stranger would assume you two were together already. Everything you do makes it obvious you’re head over heels for him.” He adds.

“From the way you look at him, to the way you’re so smiley around him, to the way you even talk about him. Sounds like someone here is in loooove and it sure as hell ain’t me.”

Yixing’s ears and cheeks are a tint of bright red by now, burning in either embarrassment or anger, he doesn’t quite know.

He breaks his way out of Luhan’s rather uncomfortable grip and steps back, shaking his head in denial. “But I’m not in lov-” Luhan throws his head back, stifling another laugh before the younger boy can even begin to try denying it.

“Alright, who exactly are you trying to convince about this, Yixing? Me? Or you?”

The sudden question makes Yixing think for a moment. He gulps, looking around the coffee shop, his eyes making his way to Wu Fan and back down to the floor. He tries his best to avoid eye contact with Luhan’s intimidating and curious doe-like eyes by playing nervously with the hem of his shirt before he acknowledges the way his heart starts racing so incredibly fast.

“I-” Words are suddenly incapable of leaving his lips, and he wants to be swallowed by the ground.

Yixing bites his bottom lip, sighing, he mutters, “N-nothing.” And with that, the dimpled boy spins around and makes his way out of Luhan’s view in a matter of seconds.

The rest of the time at the coffee shop, Yixing tries his very best to ignore Wu Fan, eyes wandering elsewhere and trying their best to not be seen by Wu Fan’s, and small hums or mumbles as responses.

That night, Yixing goes home, thinking hard and long for hours. The inability to fall asleep due to the overthinking makes itself present. “I’m not in love. I’m not in love. I’m not in love.” He repeats to himself for hours until eventually, his whispers fade and he drifts into a deep slumber, allowing his overwhelmed mind to take a break.

________________________________________

The next day, Yixing calls in sick to work. A slight feeling of guilt slowly starts to creep on Luhan after hearing this, thinking that maybe the teasing was too much. However, another part of him reminds himself that Yixing has never fallen in love in the span of the twelve years that he’s known him, the new feeling that was being in love might’ve simply caused the boy to overthink, and he couldn’t blame him.

Wu Fan comes to the coffee shop that day with a brightening grin until he notices Luhan at the register.

“Hello, what would you like to order?”

“Where’s Yixing?” The thought of even ordering anything doesn’t cross his mind at all.

Luhan, not quite surprised by Wu Fan’s response, raises an eyebrow curiously at him. “He called in sick today. What would you like to order?”

“He’s sick?” He furrows his eyebrows at this, and completely ignores the other blonde male’s question again because Yixing being sick is very unlikely. “W-why? What’s wrong with him? Is he okay?” Finding out about Yixing’s hemophilia only a few days ago and for Luhan to suddenly tell him he was sick concerned him.

Luhan can only sigh in irritation at the millions of questions being thrown at him. “Look, there are customers behind you, waiting. The only thing I’m telling you is that he’s lovesick, and confused. Go visit him at his apartment, call him, anything. Just communicate yourself with him and talk to him. Now, what would you like to order?”

Lovesick and confused? Wu Fan wants to ask more questions, but stops himself at the sight of Luhan rolling his eyes, arms crossed, as he waits impatiently for Wu Fan to order his drink. The line of people groans behind him, some muttering rather rude things to him for taking so much time and standing there like an idiot.

“I-I’ll take a small caramel high rise with extra whipped cream, please.”

His drink doesn’t taste the same, and the time spent at the coffee shop, Wu Fan realizes, is miserably lonely. By the time the shop closes, Wu Fan finds himself approaching Luhan, asking for Yixing’s address.

“Good luck.” Luhan tells him, with a small smile, but Wu Fan leaves wondering to himself why Luhan had wished him luck, but finds himself figuring the answer out on his way to Yixing’s.

________________________________________

Yixing lies on his couch, watching t.v, but not paying much attention to it, for his mind is still racing at the millions of unanswered questions. It isn’t long until his sleepy eyes are wide open at the sound of small rocks hitting his bedroom window.

He jolts up from the couch, slowly making his way to the window, when he sees a familiar tall figure outside. He steps back rapidly at the sight of Wu Fan, but the older boy still manages to catch a glimpse of him.

“Yixing!” He half-whispers. It’s already past 10 PM, and waking up Yixing’s neighbors wouldn’t be the best idea considering the fact that it’s only the first time being there.

Yixing wants to turn back, hide, and never come out. His heart is racing, hands sweating, but he knows he can’t turn back now. Wu Fan has already seen him, and either way, it would be something cowardly of him to do.

“Yixing, are you okay?” His voice is sweet, there’s a tint of sincerity in it that makes a feeling of guilt rush over Yixing. “Can we talk? Please?”

Sighing and leaning against the wall, the younger boy closes his eyes, and bites his bottom lip in anxiety, ruffling his hair as thoughts begin to run through his mind before finally gathering up the courage to talk to Wu Fan.

When Yixing steps outside, Wu Fan can’t help but chuckle lightly at Yixing’s messy hair and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas. Yixing’s head hangs low as he fiddles with his fingers nervously, and looks down at the ground in fear of making eye contact with Wu Fan and getting that feeling again.

“Hey,” Wu Fan says softly, tilting his head in attempt to make eye contact with Yixing. “Why weren’t you at the coffee shop today? Are you okay?”

Yixing scratches the back of his neck and gulps. “Y-yeah, I’m just... sick.”

“And by sick you mean... Lovesick?” Wu Fan says with a smile. It’s then when Yixing lifts his head up and stares at the taller male with widened eyes.

“Who told you that?!” His reaction is more nervous than expected, and he tries to make it less obvious by taking a deep breath and avoiding Wu Fan’s stare again.

“That doesn’t matter, Yixing. Can we just please talk about... Us?”

The shorter boy’s heart stops for a moment at the sound of the word ‘us’. His feet are itching to turn back around and run into his room because those annoying butterflies are causing a ruckus in his stomach again, and he just want that feeling to go away.

“Th-there’s nothing to talk about, okay?” Yixing is about to give up, and turn around before Wu Fan grips his hand.

“No, Yixing, there is.” He steps in closer, and for a moment he takes a good look at Yixing’s face, his hand not letting go of Yixing’s before sighing, and continuing.

“Look, maybe you’re avoiding me for the same reason I came here. Maybe you’ve also been getting that same feeling in your chest, and your stomach I get every time I’m around you. Maybe this feeling is as new to you as it is to me. Or maybe I’m just being delusional. But every time I’m with you I get these butterflies in my stomach, and I find myself smiling brighter, and wider like an idiot. And I just can’t help but love every part of you, from your smile, to your dimple, to your love for books, and the way you’ve brought colors to my life in the past few months that I’ve known you.” Wu Fan’s face is a bright red by now, and so is Yixing’s.

Wu Fan still doesn’t believe what he’s saying, and how much he’s saying, but every word that comes out of his mouth seems to take off loads of weight off of his chest. He figures that keeping this in any longer would’ve been impossible.

“And maybe you’ve been wanting to say something similar, but were scared to. Or maybe I’m being dumb and you feel nothing similar to what I feel for you. Maybe I sound like a loser. But I love you, Yixing. I love you so much and I-”

Before Wu Fan can finish, he feels a soft pair of lips crash against his. The kiss is soft, and gentle, but something completely unexpected to the two of them, even to Yixing. Fireworks are going off in their hearts, and the butterflies are there again. The few seconds of the contact between their lips are the most beautiful.

When the kiss is broken, Yixing stands there in shock as he tries to figure out what exactly he just did. Wu Fan, on the other hand, stands with wide eyes, and a foolish wide grin on his face, in a complete daze.

“W-Wu Fan, I’m so s-sorry, I-”

“Shut up, you know you liked it too.”

The talking doesn’t last long before Wu Fan crushes his lips against Yixing’s again, and decides that the feeling of the younger’s lips against his is his most favorite.

Yixing, however, admits to himself that maybe, just maybe he’s a bit in love. He just won’t say it out loud...At least not to Luhan.

Author's Note: 

Oh my god, you guys I'm so so sorry for not updating in so long! UWAAA. Pls forgive me T__T i've been feeling kinda depressed a lot & i haven't had much motivation to write & i've had writer's block a lot. It took me a while to write this because for some reason i always have trouble starting my stories. /le sigh/ anyway, this isn't the best, but i really hope you guys enjoyed this. Please, please don't forget to comment & subscribe~ I especially love reading your guys' comments, they make me so happy ^^

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