One week later…

Chen (22)

            “Baek Hyun-a, are you sure you are going to enter that operating room without telling Hae Jin?” I asks him through the phone. Tomorrow is Baek Hyun’s operation day, where the chance of dying is bigger than surviving.  Right now, he is doing some check up in the hospital to make sure that he is sterile and ready enough to face the operation.

            “Yes, I am sure. Make sure you do the plan when I enter the operating room okay? It is at 8:00 A.M,” he answers.

            “I understand. Make sure you come back. I will not say goodbye to you, take care,” I shut the phone. Tears starts to rolls down my face, I realizes that I had lose to him since a long time ago but I never know how unworthy I am compares to him. Hae Jin is never with the wrong person. Now, I can learn to let go of Hae Jin to sends her to Baek Hyun because I know she only takes me as a friend not as someone she loves, she just likes me.

            Should I just tell her now? She deserves to know but I promise Baek Hyun. Hae Jin is still believing that Baek Hyun is a total je** right now and she goes everywhere covering that everything is completely fine. I know she is not fine.

            “Jae In-a, should we just tell Hae Jin now?” I think the best decision is to discuss with Jae In. So, I phone her phone. “No, are you crazy, Oppa? We should do how Baek Hyun Oppa told us. That is his wish if this is to be the last favor he asks,” cries Jae In. Jae In has been absent from classes since three days ago. She keeps crying in her home until Baek Hyun decided to come to her house and tells her not to cry anymore. That little punk, even when he is about to die, he does not think about himself.

            Ireomyeon an doeneunde neol ango sipeo, neukkigo sipeo hamkke kkumkkugo sipeo, hangsang neol saranghaejuneun geuga cham mipdagado…

           “Kim Hae Jin, what a right timing… I have to tell you now.”

           “Yeobuseyo, Am I speaking to Chen-ssi?,” a strange voice appears on the phone. It seems to be a very loud place. “Yes, it is right. But why are you having Hae Jin’s phone?” I asks worriedly.

           “This ahgassi is very drunk right now, maybe you can pick her up in XX Bar.”

           “Impossible, Hae Jin does not drink at all.”

           “It turns out that she is right now. I’m sorry.”  

           No, Hae Jin… I rush out my apartment to pick up Hae Jin.

***

            “Hae Jin-a, why are you drinking?” This is the first time I see Hae Jin so helpless. She is laying on the bar table while sipping her vodka. She is sleeping right now. I thanked the bartender for looking out of her.

            “She is a strong drinker, she finished almost one and a half bottle and just starts to get drunk at the second bottle. Are you sure she does not drink at all?” the bartender asks. I just smiles at him and carry Hae Jin on my back. She is really in her deep sleep, she does not even realizes that I has been carrying and moving her around.

            “Hyun! Why are doing like this? Are we not friends?”

            I freeze at that moment and look at Hae Jin that keeps on mumbling occasionally. My heart hurts so bad, I cannot imagine how hard it will be for her if she finds out about Baek Hyun’s operation.

            “Hae Jin-a, don’t fall apart please. You have to be strong,” I whisper to her. Suddenly, I feel tears rolling down Hae Jin’s face. I can feel her now, this tears that falls down on my shirt tells me everything, so I hope she will stop crying.

            “Ah, is Mr. Kind Chen? Annyeong~ Yes, just like what you write me, I will not fall apart.”

            “What? What did I…”

            “Yes, you write it for me and left it in…” she mumbles.

            All these times… Baek Hyun, I lose to you.

Hae Jin (22)

            “Ah, my head hurts.”

           I wake up in Chen’s apartment. Oh God. I went outside the room and found Chen sleeping on the couch. So, he has been the one who takes me home.

            “Chen-a, chen…”

            “Hae Jin? Are you awake? No, what time is it? Hae Jin, I need to tell you something.” All of a sudden, Chen is rushing out of panic like something going to explode right in front of him.

            “Yes, why? It is 8:00 A.M now,” I answer in confusion. He jumps out of his couch and run to his bedroom to grab some clothes. “Hae Jin-a, we don’t have time. Finish preparing in 10 minutes and I will prepare my car,” he shouts.

            “Why?”

            “Just be fast!”

            Ten minutes later, I rushed into Chen’s car and we are heading somewhere I am not aware of, so I asks him, “Where are we going? Why are we in such a rush?” Chen ignores me and grab his earphone to call.

            “Jae In, I couldn’t take it anymore. I am taking her there, you wait there. Please endure some time for me,” he says. I start to get worried at the situation too. So, I asks again, “What happened?” Chen just looks at me but he is not answering.

            “Tell me what happen or I will jump out of the car!” I shout.

            “Hae Jin, don’t! Please just let me explain later.”

***

            Approximately one hour later, we arrive at a hospital. The traffic has caused us so much, but I still don’t understand the situation. “Hae Jin, fast. We don’t have time!” He keeps on shouting at me saying that there is no time.

            We walks and takes the elevator to the 10^th floor. It was written “Operating Room”. I start to recall the phone call that Chen had with Jae In. I feel uneasy, my body feels so heavy that my legs can handle it but I am not daring enough to ask Chen what is really going on. I keep my silent until we reached the 10^th floor, I follow Chen.

            Suddenly, I see a patient that is about to go inside the operating room. Jae In is waiting in front of the operating room. It is a man. Tears start rolling down my face, I run towards the patient. The man is Baek Hyun.  My eyes meets him, but his eyes does not meets mine. Just like that, he enters the operating room.

            “Baek Hyun-a!” I shouts with my last strength. I lose all the balance in my body and I fall helplessly in the ground while crying, “Just what happened to you? Why are you inside there? Go out now!”

            Chen and Jae In hug me tightly and pat my back. They are tearing too. “Eonnie, mianhaeyo. Oppa wants to do it like this.”

            “Someone please tell me what happened?”

            “Baek Hyun was claimed with cancer four years ago, and now he got to do the operation with 20 percent chance of survival. He does not want to worry you that is why he does not tell you at all. His coldness towards you is so that if he really leaves, it will be easier for you to think that he betrayed you rather than leaving you without notices,” Chen starts to explain. I cannot believe what I just heard just now. I keep covering my ears and crying is the only thing that I can do.

“I am not dating with Oppa. Oppa asks me to pretend that we are dating so that he has excuses for hospital check prior to his operation,” Jae In continues. I push both of them and I stand up. I bang on the operation room door hoping that Baek Hyun will hear me for once.

“Babo, I am not the one who is stupid. You are! Get out now! I need you, don’t leave me. You still have 20 percent so please come back. Can you hear me? You were always able to hear me right? Byun Baek Hyun!”

For security reason, I am taken out of the hospital building. Chen takes me to the car. “Hae Jin-a, Baek Hyun asks me to takes you to some place during his operation hours.”

I just nod without saying anything.

***

            “You said we are going someplace but why are we in our apartment?” I ask Chen. Chen does not say anything and just bring me to the third floor. It starts to bring more confusion to me but I do not have any strength to asks now so I just blindly follows him.

            “Baek Hyun bought his apartment room for you. He said the password is the combination of his and yours favorite number. That is his last gift for you, in case he did not make it,“ Chen explains. Tears start to roll down in my face again.

            Nervously, I entered the password   and I opened the door. The room is decorated in peach pink wallpaper and the ceiling is filled with glow in the dark stars, just like I always love. It was filled with hundreds of gifts wrapped in different size and colors. I carefully walk towards a red envelope on the table. I sits down and unseal the envelope. It is from Baek Hyun.

To my dearest, Hae Jin

Well, you made it here! Congratulation! I know you were smart… Let me guess, are you crying right now? This room is your dream. This room is filled with all your dreams and all the things you want to have, at least from what I know. But promise me not to open all of them at once! This is all your birthday gift, there is even numbers according to your age. Hhm, I managed to make it until you are 100? I think. Are you curious why am I doing this? Hae Jin-a, I have a confession to make. Four years ago, I am claimed with cancer. I am sorry that I am not telling you about this killing disease at all. I don’t want to add more fear for you. Please if I am not able to make it to the operation, promise me you will not be afraid of going to hospital or give up your dream to marry a doctor. I am sorry that I have been a jerk to you these days but I am afraid that I can’t send you off. I am afraid that if I look back to you for one more time, I will end up telling you my condition. I am sorry that if sometimes I don’t understand how you feel and upset you. If I make it, I promise to do anything you want.

I am trying to live now, so don’t you worry too much. Babo-ya, don’t cry. I am not leaving you, I will always be in your heart, alive or not. And if I can’t make it, I want you to know that I love you. I love you not as my best friend but as a woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I fall in love with you that always cry watching dramas. I fall in love with you who holds on to the tip of my shirt every time you feels uncomfortable and uneasy. I fall in love with you who haven’t been able to ride bicycle at the age of 22. I fall in love with you who smiles as bright as the sun. I fall in love with you who shines among the brightest star. I fall in love with you. I love you. So, promise me something, even if the world falls apart, you can’t fall apart! Because if you fall apart, there will be no one who shines the brightest and throw the darkness out of everyone. Hae Jin-a, even if I am not there please continue to shine and find a good guy for you.

Love,

Hyun~! Ke Ke

            That moment, I realize how much I love him not as a best friend too. I realize how much he has changed me and how much I haven’t done anything for him in my life. I wish I has a second chance.

            “Truthfully, I am not the guy who writes the message for you every day. Well, I write those but not technically. Baek Hyun asks me to write them saying that it is for the girl she loves, so every day he came to me and asks me to write the notes. He said that he needs to be as mysterious to the woman, that is why he needs me to write them,” Chen admits.

            “Hhm, I know,” I answer. I hide my tears and goes around the room. It has the smell of Baek Hyun. Each of these gifts have numbers just like he said. I notices another thing. There is a medicine bottle. I checked whether if it was Baek Hyun’s. I opened them and take out one of them.

            Those capsules make me feel very sad. I opened the capsule cap to see the pain that Baek Hyun had been enduring but a piece of paper drop in front of my eyes. This is not his medicine, this is mine. I opened to paper and it reads, Hae Jin-a, do you know? You should not be fearful of many people surrounding you. Just pretends that they are someone who tried to protect you from the bad people like a barricade.

            I cry.

            Don't go...

Jae In (20)

           I wait patiently in front of the operating room. It has been 9 hours and I am not sure how long will it take more. I promise to myself, if Oppa are to make it alive, I will not annoyshim anymore and give my sincere bless to Oppa and Hae Jin Eonnie. It takes me awhile to realizes how much Oppa cherish Hae Jin Eonnie, but I think now is the time that I cherish both of them.

            So, I whisper to Oppa in front of his operating room, “Oppa, come back alive! Starting from now I will cherish you and Eonnie. Fighting! You can do it!”
            Suddenly the doctor came out, “Congratulations, the operation is a success.” The doctor shakes my hand and I can’t feel my legs anymore. It is such a big relief the he survives. I press on my handphone button and calls Chen Oppa.

            “Oppa… success!” I shouts. Chen is cheering from there and he hangs up so fast to tell Eonnie. Now, everything is finish.

Hae Jin (22)

            “Hae Jin-a,” shouts Chen.

            I look directly to him trying to guess his expression. “Hae Jin, success, it’s done now,” he says. I run and grab Chen’s hands and take him to drive me directly to the hospital. Thank you for giving me chances to love you properly…

***

            I keep on running today, but right now, I am running in happiness, Chen is right, it is done now. I wonder what should I do if I am running in sadness right now. I reached the floor where Baek Hyun has been replaced. He is awake now and talking to Jae In. So, I wait outside.

            From the room, Baek Hyun seems to notices me that had been standing by the door. As Jae In went out, I rushed into his room and hit him in the chest.

            “Stupid, do you know how I much I want to die when I found out?” I cry. He smiles and take my hands, he kiss my hands with a big smile on his face. “I hear you,. During the operation, I hear you calling my name to go back, that is why I can make it," he says. 

            “Thank you.”

            Even when he survived the death, I still cry hardly. I really do not know what to do. “Ya, what are you crying for? I am going to stay with you now, so here come closer to me.” I put my face closer to him and he kisses me again. This time, my lips.

            “I love you,” he whispers.

            “I love you too.”