Ha-eun

For the rest of the week YoungGuk came to pick Iris up for school and pick her up from school. She was the happiest I've seen her and it broke my heart that I kept her away from her dad for so long.

Between Youngguk and I we just focus on Iris. I don't want to talk about us, there is no us to talk about. He can be the father Iris needs but that's all. He picks her up and drops her off there is no quality time for us and that's how it'll be. I gave him all of me once and he hurt me. This time I'm going to protect myself from him.

Zelo still have Iris with him most of the day and Naeun helps babysit once she gets home from work. Soon Zelo won't be available to watch Iris, his work with Youngguk will take most of his time. I haven't thought about what to do with Iris yet. My editor job makes my nights at the office long as well and I'm not sure where Iris is going to go until I get home. My only option is Youngguk. I know he's the boss of Zelo but there might be a chance that he will let Zelo off early to watch Iris.

Youngguk looks like he's going to kill me. When did he turn so...evil looking? I’m sitting across from him in my kitchen. Iris was put down for her nap just ten minutes ago by Youngguk.

"You want me to what?"

"You heard me, I want you to let Zelo out of work early so he can watch Iris."

"I thought I was hearing things. The answer is no."

"What, why? You're the boss you can let him off early."

"I can but I won't."

"I don't have any other options Youngguk."

"You do. You. Why don't you stay home?"

"I'm a single mother, I need my job."

"I'll pay for your bills, so stay home and be a mother to our daughter."

"I'm not taking your money."

"Why not? You're the mother of my child."

"I am not some gold digger who’s going to live off of you. I can make my own money."

"Well then, let me take her. I'll watch her while you’re at work."

"No, I don't want her going to your house."

"Why the hell not?"

"I just don't. Besides you have to run your company, you can't just stop your day to babysit."

"I'm the boss, yes I can."

YoungGuk

It wasn't easy for Ha-eun to let me take care of Iris for four hours but she had no other choice and gave in to me last week. Iris and I have been bonding well and she talks non-stop but I love her and its nice having someone to talk to. She even pick a room in my house for her bed room. She wanted the walls pink and a pink bed and everything pink but we haven't gotten to the shopping part yet. Today I was picking her up for a day of shopping and fun.

I ring the door bell twice before Iris open the door for me. She was in a pink tutu and a white shirt that says princess on it. She screams out daddy and then clung onto my leg like she hasn't seen me in a while but I just dropped her off yesterday night. I missed her as much too. I pick her up and close the door behind me. Ha-eun came out of her room like she just got out of bed.

"What are you doing here so early?" Ha-eun yawns.

It was ten in the morning.

"I'm taking Iris shopping for her room."

"Why she doesn't need anything for her room."

"Mommy daddy has a room for me at his house."

"What?" Ha-eun looks at me angry. "Why does she need a room in your house? She's not staying the night."

"You never know what can happen. Besides she has a room in Zelo's apartment why can't she have one in my house? I'm her father."

"Mommy please!" Iris begs.

"You have a bed here baby you don't need one in daddy's house."

"But I want one. Daddy's house is my house too."

"No" Ha-eun march over and snatch Iris away. "I didn't agree to this YoungGuk."

"Why are you so mad?"

She was throwing daggers at me with her eyes. "The answer is no. Besides, weekends are for me to spend time with her."

"Well you didn't give me a schedule and honestly I don't think I need a schedule to see my daughter."

"I want you to leave."

"What?" Is she serious right now? "You can't just throw me out! We're not done talking here!"

"Yes we are!"

"She's my daughter!"

"I won't let you take her from me! I know what you're doing! You're making it easy to choose you over me with all your money can buy!"

"If you won't let me see my daughter and spend time with her I can take this to court. A guy like me I can make sure you never see her again."

"GET OUT!"

Iris starts pounding on Ha-eun's chest with her tiny fists. "Don't yell at him mommy." Iris starts crying and wiggling out of Ha-eun's arms.

"You'll hear from me soon." I lean over to Iris and kiss her goodbye.

Iris is yelling and screaming louder for her mother to let her go and as I got to the door Iris breaks free and runs to me holding on to me crying for me not to go. Her precious little face was red and broken. I never wanted to disappoint her.

"Daddy will be back okay?"

"No, you need to stay daddy." Iris clings on tighter. "I don't want you to go."

"I have to princess. I'll come back for you okay?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear."

Ha-eun

Iris won't look at me or speak to me. She hasn't eaten much after YoungGuk left and I'm worried. Why couldn't he just be happy that I allow him to keep her for four hours on the weekdays? Why did he need to spend time with her on the weekends and give her a bed room? When I heard him tell me she was going to her own room in his house I panic. I didn't want to lose my little girl. I didn't want her to want her father more than she wanted me. I just wanted to keep her for myself. I was selfish and now she won't even look at me.

Zelo came out of Iris's room. I called him for help and he came over to play with her for a while. She didn't laugh while he was here either. He even took her outside to play but they came back in after she ran after one car thinking it was her dad. She hasn't seen him in a week and her little heart longs for him. What am I doing to her?

"Is she okay?" I ask worried.

"She's sleeping."

"What am I going to do?" I cried softly into my arms on the table.

Zelo rubs my back to sooth me. "I don't know Ha-eun. It's up to you."

I turn to face him. "I...I don't want her to pick YoungGuk over me. I'm scared that if she got her room over at his house with everything that she wanted she won't want to come back to me."

"Iris loves you. She's turning four not four-teen or twenty-four. She still needs her mother just like she needs her father."

I rub my face with my hands. "I'm a bad mother."

"No you're not. You're a great mother Ha-eun. You're trying to protect her but...in this case she doesn't need protecting, it's you."

"What?"

"You're doing this to keep YoungGuk at a distance. You're protecting yourself from him. I know he hurt you in the pass and I'm not trying to pick a side here but I think it's time you let it go. Let the pass be the pass. Learn from it and make your daughter happy. She didn't do anything wrong and she deserves both parents."

I stop to think for a while and after what seems like hours I wipe my tears and stand up. "Why are you so wise?"

"Cause I'm awesome." Zelo smirks at me.

YoungGuk

The door bell won't stop ringing and I knew who it was at my door. The only person I know who was intrigue by a door bell was Iris. It was early Saturday morning but I'm wide awake even though I haven't slept yet and running down the stairs to answer the door. I swing the door open as fast as I can and there she was smiling in a white t-shirt and pink short overalls. She was the cutest kid in the world. I kneel down to her level.

"Daddy!" She ran into my arms and started crying. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

I look up at Ha-eun who looks like she hasn't slept all week either. She had a pink suitcase in one hand and a tote in the other. I stand up with Iris in my arms.

"Do you want to come in?" I step back to make way for her.

Ha-eun step inside the house and I shut the door.

"Are you hungry princess?" I ask Iris walking to the kitchen leaving Ha-eun by herself.

"Yes daddy."

I place her in a stool where the kitchen island is and pull out her favorite cereal and milk. We share a bowl and some apples before we were both full. Ha-eun hasn't come into the kitchen at all and i wonder if she was still standing by the door. When I look back she was in the living room picking up all the trash I accumulated over the week.

Iris ran into the living room and climb on the couch to watch the TV. I went in after her and sat down next to her. Ha-eun continues her cleaning mumbling to herself.

"You don't have to do that."

Ha-eun turns to me. "It's a habit." She ties the third trash bag and place it net to the other two. "Is take out the only thing you eat?"

"No. Frozen dinners are an option as well."

She cringes at my answer. "Seriously? How are you going to take care of our daughter if you can't even take care of yourself? Look at this mess."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Nam is coming back tomorrow. i gave her a paid vacation."

"I like her cookies." Iris beams up at me.

"Me too."

Ha-eun sighs shaking her head. She removes the bags from the living room and gasp when she entered the kitchen.

Iris looks at me. "Daddy are you in trouble?"

"I guess." I look behind us and Ha-eun was collecting the trash in there was well. "Just leave it!" I yell back at her.

"I can't." She turns to me. "I can't just leave this." She begins cleaning again.

"Whatever you say." I turn back to Iris. "I guess mommy is spending the day with us too."

Iris giggles at me and I smile back. This must be a rear moment for her. It seems as if we were a real family right now.

Ha-eun

I clean, scrub and dust the kitchen and living room. I even made dinner with the paste and tofu I brought over. The kitchen was well stock thanks to Mrs. Nam so finding ingredients for food wasn't hard. It was beginning to get dark once I finish everything. The daddy-daughter duo has gone upstairs to play house four hours ago and haven't come back down yet. I set the table for them and then walk away from the kitchen. I was tired and ready to go home to get a good night of sleep. I haven't been sleeping much.

"Where are you going?" YoungGuk ask me walking down the stairs with Iris.

"I'm tired. I'm going home." She points to the kitchen. "I made dinner so no take out or frozen dinner please."

"Why don't you join us? You did cook it."

I shake my head. "It's late, I need to ride the bus home."

"I can drop you off. Iris likes riding in my car. Right iris?"

Iris nods at her dad.

I stand there by the door uncomfortable.

"Okay" I place my purse back down on the table and slip out of my shoes into the house slippers again.

Iris 'yay' and ran over to grab my hand.

YoungGuk

"I have four other guest beds you can stay if you want." I offer her a place to sleep since it was pass nine and it was dangerous to ride the bus at night by herself.

I plan to drop her off but Iris fell asleep after dinner and we didn't want to bother her.

"Thanks but it's okay. I can call Zelo to pick me up."

"Okay."

I left her to give her some privacy. Part of me wanted to go all cave man and drag her to my cave to stay because I love her and can't seem to let her go but part of me hated her. I hated her for keeping my daughter from me, twice. I know she came over to call a truss but my heart still hurt that she could even do that to me.

I walk out to the back patio where she wanders off to.

"Not as beautiful as the sea huh?" I ask leaning on the glass door.

"No, but it's still beautiful."

"It's even better in the morning."

"I bet it is."

"Is Zelo coming?"

"He didn't answer but I called someone else he'll be here in a while."

"He's been good to you? Zelo?"

"Yeah, he's a good man."

"Why didn't you try to contact me? I could have been there for you, for Iris."

She looked away and shrugs. "After everything was said and done...I didn't think you care."

"I'm sorry...for hurting you then. I was angry and I didn't have anyone to blame or where to put the blame I just...I was wrong."

"The pass is the pass, let's just leave it there."

Both of us stay silent for a moment and then the craziest idea pops into my head and out of my mouth before I think it through.

"Marry me"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Are you crazy?"

"No but you will be crazy if you say no."

"You're the one who's crazy to think I would marry you."

"Oh you will. You see I can take Iris. Neither of us has custody of her. I'm her father and if she wanted to go with me I can take her."

"YoungGuk"

"If you marry me she'll always be there with me and you. Iris needs both parents’ in the house Ha-eun. I don't want her missing me in the middle of the night. I don't want to hear stories of Zelo coming to rescue her when she falls off the swings at the playground when I could be the one taking her there and kissing her wounds. This is for her not for us."

"No"

"Is it a guy? Do you have a boyfriend? Is why you won't marry me?"

"No, I'm not marrying you because I don't love you. Marriage is a serious subject."

"Why is it a serious subject? Just think of it as playing house until Iris is eight teen."

"To you it might not be serious but to me it matters. When I think of marriage I think about how I want to wake up every day with that person, I want to have a future with him, I want to be love by him. You can't give me all those."

-------------

I watch as the women I love enter another man's car. It en hurt but what can I do? I let her go like an idiot. I couldn't sleep thinking about who was in that car and how did she know him. it was making my blood sore through the roof and I wanted to punch a hole in the wall but Iris was sleeping in the room next to me so I control myself and lie down in my king size bed. Why did I get a king size when there was no one to share it with?

"Mommy!"

I sat up. Iris was crying.

"Mommy"

I ran into the next room flicking on the lights.

"What's wrong princess?"

Iris had tears streaming down her chubby cheeks with the saddest expression.

"I want mommy!"

"Mommy's not here princess."

"Mommy!"

"Okay okay daddy will call mommy." I hush her and carry her into my room where my cell phone was.

It rings two times before Ha-eun picked up. I was glad, it was a sign she wasn't with the guy that picked her up.

"YoungGuk is everything okay?"

"Iris is crying and she wants you. I don't know what happen she just woke up and started calling for you."

"I'll be back in fifteen."

Fifteen minutes later Ha-eun was at the door. Irish was still asking for her and tears were still being produced. Ha-eun reaches for Iris and shushes her to sleep. In another fifteen minutes they were lying on my bed and iris was asleep. Every time Ha-eun tried to stand up Iris jerk awake crying so she was stuck in the bed with her. It was two in the morning when Ha-eun finally was able to pull away from Iris. She came down the stairs and met me in the living room.

"I think she had a nightmare." Ha-eun sat down next to me.

"I think so." I yawn.

"You should get some sleep."

"You too, I have four guest beds for you to sleep in pick one. Or you can join Iris and me in my bed...just say yes to my proposal."