A year consists of 365 days. If it’s a leap year it consists of 366 days, but the year I saw you was a normal year. Today, I actually saw you 365 days ago; exactly a year. It rained that day, my mood was bad and yours was obviously bad too. My mood was only bad because of the rain, but when I heard you grunt in anger when you found the ramyun you wanted, I knew that you weren’t angry because of the weather; there was an entirely different reason. I wanted to know why for some unknown reason, but I never got to know why. I wonder if that’s for the best or if it’s fate, but now – 365 days later – I know that it was just common humanity not to ask why.

After that day you kept on visiting the store. I didn’t really notice you the first week, but as you kept on buying the same flavour of ramyun – mild kimchi – I one day noticed you. You just stood there: Hair wet from the rain, it clung to your forehead; nose running a little; your cold hand as we exchanged money and bill; your dark blue, autumn coat with army style buttons or maybe it was sailor style, I’ve never been interested in fashion. Your dark hair made your brown eyes even darker and more mysterious. I wanted to yell out to you right before you left the store, but then I noticed I didn’t know your name and my heart dropped. My heartstrings hurt just by the thought and then when the thought progressed it hurt even more; the possibility of me ever getting to know your name would almost be non-existing. The chances were so small and I would never know the name of the extremely cute guy who visited the store over and over again, every day.

That was what I thought, but one day you turned up to buy some ramyun, the same one as usual. You went to the rack with different types of ramyun and then your phone was heard aloud. You quickly answered your phone while fumbling with the plastic cup that contained the kimchi-flavoured ramyun. I could see you all the way from where I was – at the checkout – and you looked so adorable the way you held the cup while you found your phone. You were holding the cup with your chin, pressing it down on your throat and the beginning of your chest. You had to hold the phone out from your ear when you answered it and the person in the other end could be heard in the entire store; that’s how loud the person was. But I’m also thankful for that person, because now I at least know your name.

“Kim ing Minseok!” the person yelled as soon as you answered. You didn’t look startled, more likely irritated or maybe even bored. You had a very interesting reaction; others may have been confused or angry with the person who just cursed at you. But you just took it all cool and let the person finish. I didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation, because that would just be creepy.

There was also another day – I think it was 146 days ago – where you and one of your friends came in. Your friend was just as attractive as you, but he looked more exotic with full lips and dark skin. You were white as china and cute as a puppy like always, but this day you seemed happier than usual. You were smiling; even laughing with the stranger. I’d never seen you like that before, but I’m thankful that he was with you that day; he made it possible for me to see your smile, your teeth; your gums. He’s the reason why I fell in love with you.

“What’s your name cutie?” your friend obviously flirted with me, but you didn’t stop him.

“L-Luhan,” I stuttered and looked down to beep in your stuff.

Your friend smirked at me; I could hear it when he continued the already awkward conversation: “Luhan? That’s a cute name. I’ve never seen you here before, are you new?”

I couldn’t understand how you could just stand there without saying anything to him. That was the worst pickup line I’d ever heard and you just looked sincerely bored, like it was a common thing to just go up to the cashier and begin shamelessly flirting in an almost disgusting way.

“N-no,” I decided to just go with the truth so I could get your friend away from me. I only wanted you; my eyes only belonged to you, not some exotic boy who obviously was Korean. “I’ve w-worked here for a while.”

You looked up at me and then I heard the word slip over your lips. Your lips formed perfectly around every syllable: “Luhan, I’m sorry on my friend’s behalf, he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.”

My cheeks burned, my ears burned; everything burned. My heart made an extra jump and it beat faster and faster. I was so insanely happy. You’d used my name and it’d felt just so right. I would have loved to wake up to that voice saying my name 365 days every year.

But my small crush didn’t last long and you were in fact the one who crushed every dream of you and me together I had. On the 365th day you came again. You had a rose in your hand a big smile smeared on your lips. In your other hand you held something else: Someone’s hand. Your fingers were entwined and you looked lovingly at each other. He was tall, dark and handsome. He didn’t look Korean, but he looked exotic just like your other friend. I was nothing compared to him. He was tall whereas I was about the same height as you.

I soon realised that this wasn’t just a friend. It was a boyfriend. Not as in a friend who was a boy, but like a girlfriend who was just a boy instead of a girl. I felt everything in my body fill with anger as you two looked so happy together, chatting and chuckling with each other. I wished I were the one who held your hand, I wish it were me who made you smile with gums and teeth. I wish it were me who could do everything the handsome boy did to you. But the reality was different. I couldn’t touch you; I couldn’t even call out your name.

When you two exited the store I fell to the floor. I hugged my knees tightly and I could feel the tears pressing, but they didn’t fall. My heart hurt; everything hurt. My fingertips were hurting and my ears throbbed. I couldn’t hear anything or feel anything except for pain.

When I rose from the floor, everything was forgotten. Or… I tried to forget. It went pretty well until I went to bed that day. When I went to bed I began thinking about you.

You were so cute; crooked teeth, perfect portioned body, perfect face. Everything was so perfect that it was hard to describe. I got so happy thinking about you, but then the sad thoughts came:

365 days. That’s how long I’ve known you. 365 wonderful days. I’ve thought about you for 365 days. I’ll like you for 365 days more, 365 hours, 365 minutes, 365 seconds, even 365 milliseconds. If it were possible I would even like you for 365 years.

During these 365 days I’ve noticed some truths about myself; I fall in love too quickly, I like people who doesn’t even know me, I think too much about fate and 365 is now my favourite number. It’s your fault Kim Minseok and I ing love you for that even though I shouldn’t.

I’ll keep on loving you for another 365 days and then I hope you’ll somehow be able to love me back.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it ^^