When Himchan opened his eyes again, everything was bright. His eyes stung as he tried to adjust them to the rays of the sun. Looking out, he was standing in the middle of Yongguk's field maybe I was sleep walking. Himchan felt his body shiver a little as a cold breeze whipped his skin. Looking down at himself, he saw that he was only wearing his boxers I'm definitely still at Yongguk's. Himchan didn't go back, he suddenly felt relaxed and warm as he stood staring at nothing. 

Himchan closed his eyes, he couldn't think of anything. Zelo, Himchan twisted his expression in agony as he tried to erase that name from his mind. However, it wouldn't go away. Over and over again the name repeated itself almost enough to make Himchan punch his head several times. But still Zelo's name remained when I bumped into him the other day, I should have stepped on his head Himchan looked down at his feet. At the realization of his cruel thoughts, Himchan sat in the grass bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. He stared into the grass all I want is Yongguk. Himchan let his body sway to the side, finally laying in the grass he didn't feel like crying, he just wanted to scream.

"Himchan! Is that you?! What are you doing?" Jongup's voice rang loud and clear in Himchan's ears. His sanctuary was interrupted when he heard Jongup rustling through the grass, walking towards him. Himchan didn't respond, he didn't want to. He just wanted to be alone.

"Where are your clothes?! You'll catch a cold if you stay like this!" Jongup pulled Himchan up onto his feet and pulled off his sweater "put this on, it's big so it'll warm you up quickly" Himchan didn't want to refuse Jongup's kindness, but he found his intrusion quite irritating. He put the sweater on anyway and followed Jongup back to the house. When they walked into the hallway, Yongguk walked past is he going to see Zelo...

"Ah, you finally decided to come inside? You're also... in Jongup's clothes? Interesting..." Yongguk examined Himchan, raising an eyebrow as if Himchan had asked for Jongup's assistance.

"You saw him outside and left him there?!" the volume in Jongup's voice was getting louder as if he had a right to be worried about Himchan I don't want your concern, I want Yongguk's!

"It's not my business" Yongguk turned away and began walking to the living area.

Himchan followed Yongguk, he wanted to confirm his thoughts.

"Aren't you going to get dressed?" 

"I don't need too..." Himchan continued walking not looking back at Jongup. Although he knew his actions were cruel towards Jongup, he was fixated on something else. Someone else. When he walked into the living room he saw Zelo with his arms around Yongguk's hips as he sat up in the sofa, head pressed against Yongguk's stomach.

"Yongguk, I'm so hungry... make me food?" Zelo pressed his mouth against Yongguk's stomach as he spoke. Himchan looked at Yongguk's face, an expression of control as if trying to prevent himself from at the boys oblivious gestures. Himchan balled his hands into fists as he stormed into the kitchen. He didn't want to watch Yongguk become weak from Zelo. He banged his fists against the counters as he he tried to get the rid of the image of Yongguk and Zelo together, wrapped in each others arms, panting and together. Himchan slammed his head into the corner of one of the cabinets behind him. For moments the vibration of the hit rang through Himchan's head. He leaned back against the counters and looked down at his bare legs. His inner thigh had faint bruises probably from where Yongguk held Himchan traced the bruises with his finger.

"Aren't you going to put clothes on? This isn't your home..." Himchan listened to Yongguk's voice as he walked into the kitchen.

"Stop bothering me" Himchan whispered as he continued tracing his bruises, not looking up at Yongguk. He didn't want too look at his face.

"What did you say?" Yongguk walked around the kitchen, it was as if he was also avoiding looking at Himchan.

"I said..." Himchan lifted his head too look at Yongguk who was standing opposite him, now facing him "Stop. Bothering. Me" Himchan noticed hostility in his tone. Yongguk didn't speak as he quickly approached Himchan. Himchan flinched as Yongguk reached for something beside him. Holding a handful of tissues Yongguk pressed them against Himchan's forehead i thought he was going to stifle me Himchan laughed a little as Yongguk still stood holding the tissues.

"What were you doing in here?" Yongguk picked up more tissues as he tried to stop Himchan's head from bleeding. Himchan moved his head to the side, while he wanted Yongguk to care he also didn't want him to.

"Why do you care?" Himchan began laughing as Yongguk stood in front of him, his expression not changing. Yongguk slammed his hand into the cabinet beside Himchan causing him to scream in shock. Yongguk's breathing became rapid and heavy as he stood staring at Himchan who had stopped laughing. "Why are you getting angry?" Himchan smirked at Yongguk.

"What's going on in here?!" Zelo ran in, with shock on his face "What was that noise?!"  Yongguk removed his hand from the cabinet, after throwing the bloody tissues onto the counter, before storming out of the kitchen.

"Yongguk...?" Zelo quietly called out to Yongguk as he stormed past him, and then looked back at Himchan "Oh! Himchan, your head!" Zelo ran over and started pressing tissues against it again please don't be nice to me. Himchan pushed Zelo's hand away. 

"I'm fine" Himchan walked over to the sliding doors and stepped outside again. It was moments before he heard the doors open behind him. 

"You sure like going outside " Himchan looked up at Jongup who was lighting a cigarette above him "You smoke?" Jongup held out the packet and lighter to Himchan. Himchan took them it doesn't hurt to try... Jongup sat beside him as he lit his cigarette and handed the packet and lighter back to Jongup. 

"What's with the blood?" Jongup stared Himchan. Surprisingly, Himchan thought, smoking wasn't as bas as his mother made it out to be. He could do it easily as if he had been smoking for years. He was so thrilled by his behavior, he had forgotten about Jongup's presence for a moment.

"Sometimes I become... erratic?" Himchan held the cigarette in his mouth as he spoke I feel like Brad Pitt in a movie. Himchan smiled to himself as he looked at Jongup.

"That's acceptable, we all get out of control sometimes. But mostly it's because of events and not people..." Jongup spoke slowly as he stared out into the garden "Whatever it is that you have with Yongguk, you should stop. It'll only become troublesome for you" Himchan nodded at Jongup's words. Even though what Jongup was saying, could possibly be right but Himchan didn't care. "Plus why would you want to be with someone so boring!" Jongup lightly nudged Himchan and they both started laughing. That's right, that's what I need. I need to laugh. Then I'll feel better. 

After talking with Jongup and finishing their cigarettes, they both got up. As they walked into the kitchen laughing together, Himchan saw Yongguk leaning against the counter. Himchan cleared his throat. 

"I need to... use the toilet!" Jongup quickly hurried out of the kitchen. Himchan felt calmer now after talking to Jongup, so much so that he felt bad for thinking such bad thoughts about him even though Jongup was only exercising his kindness.

"I came too see if you were okay... but you looked fine" Yongguk had his arms crossed against his chest, a stance you would normally see a father in when he was contemplating a situation or having a "heated discussion" with his other half. Himchan examined Yongguk from head to toe, the way he wore his clothes hid his slender and toned body. Himchan laughed a little, it was possibly Himchan's lack of attention or his laughing that sent Yongguk into a rage.

"AM I TELLING A ING JOKE?!" Yongguk flung his arms against the counter tops, pushing off plates, utensils and other items that had be placed strategically. Banging his fists against the counter he looked up at Himchan. Himchan froze, there was never really a time when Yongguk showed any emotions and he only ever saw negative ones. Yongguk walked quickly over to Himchan and grabbed his cheeks with both hands, leaving their faces inches apart. 

"Himchan... we're friends right? Right?" Himchan nodded, staring intently into Yongguk's eyes he could sense the urgency for a reply "then don't treat me this way anymore, don't question me" Yongguk let go of Himchan quickly as if he had realized his own anger, he quickly returned to his calm and collected state. Walking out of the kitchen Yongguk muttered to himself. Himchan followed.

"My clothes... are they ready?" Himchan spoke quietly, he didn't know if Yongguk was still angry or not.

"Yeah, they're in my room. You should shower"

"What about pants?" Himchan stared at Yongguk, as he began walking into the living area.

"I brought new ones recently, they're still in the packet. You can have one of those" Yongguk walked into the living area and sat beside Zelo. Their speech was inaudible but Himchan watched as Yongguk leaned forward and rubbed his face with his hands. Zelo started patting him on the back, the look of worry spreading across his face.

Himchan went upstairs, he saw his clothes folded neatly on a small cushioned box. The bed was still messy from last night. Himchan walked up to the bed and looked at the sheets, there were small dots of blood which could have been from when Yongguk entered him it was painful but I want to do it again. Himchan picked up a towel and went into the bathroom.

(Present) 

The man looked up and stared at the other man who was standing behind him. Before clearing his throat to get the attention of Himchan who was slouched in his chair with his arms hanging down almost like a dead body. 

"Had you always been so erratic?" Himchan didn't answer, he let a slight smirk spread across his face. The man cleared his throat again.

"Park Min, go and get him something with sugar. He must be weak" Himchan started laughing, I'm not weak you ing idiots!! the voice in his head acted as if those outside could hear it. "Are you okay boy?" the man raised his eyebrow. 

The man with spiked hair walked back into the room with an energy drink and placed it in front of Himchan. He wanted to show them that he wasn't weak, that he still had something left in him. Himchan smashed the can into the wall with the back of his hand and stood up. Kicking the table, he started shouting furiously, Even though he knew the men couldn't make sense of what he was saying, they all scrambled to calm him down. Himchan kicked his chair over, swinging his fists trying to ward of the men trying to restrain him.

"Someone get that boy to calm down!!" the man shouted as he pointed towards Himchan. Himchan averted his focus for a moment, then he felt a sudden weight on his back and a vibrating pain went through him as he crashed to the floor. But that didn't stop him from struggling as he tried to kick the other men away from him and pull his arms free.

"WHAT THE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" Himchan screamed out as he gave up fighting the men. One held his head against the ground, Himchan's breathing became quick as the men tried to calm him down. He snarled as he tried to move his head from the grip of the mans hand. They pulled him up from the ground and flung him into the chair that they had retrieved. 

"Let's have some order here. Are you calm now?" Himchan spat blood on the floor and then looked at the man.

*******