I giggled as he showed me a wink, a toungue sticking out, and a show off attitude. I assume he's funny and deathly gorgeous. And I appreciate him. Who is he? He's only Kim Myungsoo, a top student, a great badminton player, a singer, and a model.

He's very very appreciated.

And all I assume is.. he likes me. I think he does. All day all he did is talk to me, show off, and chat. I tried to avoid him once but it only made him more insistent. And I blushed about it. I think I should get a boyfriend now..

"Hi Lei. I just joined the football club and I think I'm going to be a star player." He smiled at me amidst of that sweaty face of his. But he still looked handsome. How handsome? He looked like an angel. Like an angel who was condemned from heaven because he's too boasful and proud of himself.

But that is still well appreciated. And what they say about it, he just have the right to do it. He's an important kid.

"Really? That's great!" I covered the books I carry on my mouth as his infectious smile stinged my heart. He's too handsome to handle I feel like melting.

And that seraphic light that shines his aura.. it blinds me.

"You think I'm going to be a great player? I'll practice hard everyday just for you.." He traced my chin with his finger tips. I bit my lip as he lifted my face, closing himself up to mine, I can feel my cheeks burning.

"You're breath taking up close.."

I laughed like an idiot. And all the flattering words he whispered close to my ear and close to my lips were spoken. It's like a never before recognized fantasy happening. He grazed his lips against mine and I heard him groan. Oh my goodness this is getting .

I pulled away from him and as he stubbornly got himself closer again, I pushed his chest.

"What? Why?" He chuckled. That eye smile is hard to scold.

"You're too flirty! It's too much to take!" I slammed the book on his shoulder and he laughed playfully. He caressed my head and there goes again..

"I think I like you very much.."

"Well.. I like you too."

Myungsoo stood up straight and blinked at me. As if he was too surprised with what I just said.

"Really?"

I nodded, I am caught off guard. "Yes."

As the truth had finally sinked in his mind, he then again did that proud stance he always had. And I just looked at him funnily.

"Then I guess we're lovers now.."

"It... it depends..." I stuttered. As the bell rang, I rushed away from him, bidding him goodbye and much love. But he was running after me but I kept running away as if there's a bad omen incoming with that action he took.

"Lei! I love you~~" He bumped a couple of students and they are set as my barricades. I smiled at Myungsoo and waved for the last time.

"I love you too!"

===

Morning. As I stepped out of he gate and closed it, a pair of big hands clamped around my shoulders and I litterally jumped. I took out my pepper spray from my bag and positioned it infront of those malignant eyes..

And I just found out that it's Myungsoo....

I lowered my hand and hid the pepper spray back to my bag.

"Mianhe.." I bowed. Myungsoo's scrunched face of fright soon lighted up.

"Yeoja chingu. It's ok. I must have shocked you." He made a peace sign. "I love you."

I smiled up at him and closed my body to his. Being sweet and all.

"I love you too.."

He wrapped his arms around my waist. And though I still am recovering on how reality blessed me, having Myungsoo as my boyfriend, I've become very used to this in a matter of 12 hours.

"Can you kiss me?" He pleaded with a pout. He filled his cheeks with air and redied his lips. I chuckled.

"Eomma is at home."

"Then I should meet her. I think I will marry you soon.."

I face palmed. A future dramatization of me and Myungsoo being husband and wife is such a wonderful future scenario.

Am I even sure this would work? I hope he's not a playboy.

In order to stop the annoyance I'm already feeling, I kissed him quick and started to walk away from home, holding his hand. Myungsoo kept his mouth silent as I dragged him away with me.

He gave me mixed feelings and mixed emotions. I'm feeling edgy and irritated but lovely and proud at the same time. But I really like him. So I think this will be fine.

Wait. Did I agree on us being in a relationship yesterday? He only kept saying I love you yesterday. I told him I like him. But I never say that we're now in a relationship.

But despite of all the confusion in the situation, I admit I have been blinded and now, I am holding this ferocious man's hand.

I think everything will be fine.

==

Day and night, I felt edgy. It was like all the time I can see Myungsoo's face. I was informed that he just cut classes to either see me or practice his sports. And it made me 50% concerned and 50% freaked out. He shouldn't be doing this it's not necessary anymore!

I've decided to vanish the sweetness and replace it with a strict attitude, a whiny tone of voice, and an ugly face. One afternoon, Myungsoo remained the same. He didn't question my weird change, nor even doubted my fake character.

Something's going on in his mind. And when 4 in the morning the 3rd day of our relationshop wheras.. he just disturbed my sleep by throwing stones on my window, I just confirmed the thought that he's gone nuts.

That handsome feature that always kept a smile and an aegyo, the kind attitude that he only showed to me, and the incessant disturbance he just did, was all a freak show. I don't want to assume it as an obsession.

And wait, what? Kim Myungsoo? Obsessed with me?

That's dillusional indeed. But I can see it real, and it's happening before my eyes. I can't sleep normally because of him.

Eottoke?

==

"Eomunni! Annyonghaseyo" Myungsoo knocked on the gate with a loud banging sound. As I went up to open it, I ofcourse, had let him come inside.

"Lei baby, where's eommuni? I brought rice cakes for her.."

I sighed and folded my arms before my chest. "She's in the kitchen, making the same food you brought.."

Myungsoo's mouth hung open in happiness and I flipped my brain to beseech the truth behind all this paranoia.

"Good! Then we'll have more rice cakes!"

He rushed inside the house, passing by me. I followed him and face palmed as he narrated stories to eomma. She just stood there on the kitchen, looking at him with awe in the beginning.. she must have been stricked by his handsome face and clean appearance. But as the minutes ticked away.. she had frowned and already looked irritated.

The next thing happened, the horror of all horror. She pushed Myungsoo out of the house and threw the rice cake he brought thankfully on the ground and not on his face. I wasn't able to control her as it happened too fast. Now I look down at Myungsoo on the street, his bum down on the ground as he snap at what just happened. His face turned cold and dead serious as he looked at the food wasted and ruined.

"Myungsoo ah~" I helped him up.

He sighed.

I wanted to smack his head with my fist, tell him how stupid he have become and how freakish.. but I can't do it. He's too fragile. I'm not even sure if he have something conceited going on in his mind, I'm not so sure if he ever had an evil thought before. I think all he did was silly things and.. it's hard to hurt his feelings.

"She just threw me out.." He mumbbled.

"Myungsoo I'm sorry.. look at me. I love you.. still." I cupped his face.

He held my hands, slowly, a soft smile appeared on his face.

"I should make up to her.."

I squeezed his hand. "Myungsoo ah, I don't think eomma will be pleased if you try to show up to her again.. just let it pass.."

"No.. I need to marry you one day and I have to make it up to her. Don't worry, I will bring her a more expensive delicacy.."

And the days went on. Although Myungsoo's family wasn't very rich, he did what he told me. He delievered precious things here, food, jewelry for eomma and me.. he filled my room with stuff toy which I once told him my favorite kind of gift.. and all hell broke loose. My mind's evil side told me to get rid of him, bang him down the floor and hurt him.

He's gone overboard and it's creepy already.

~~

It rained incessantly on a gloomy Saturday and all my thoughts are scattered down the floor. I tried to pick them up one by one, absorb all that mattered, but it made me even more dull.

It's been 2 weeks and Myungsoo never lost his energy. He kept coming back and forth in our house. At school, he turned me into a queen though everyone respected every decision he made, he had embarassed me. Now all girls are secretly pissed at me, and all guys are quietly making fun of him. He's a kingka, he's famous, loved. And I never thought how difficult it could be to become a kingka's girlfriend. I've admired him so much, I loved him behind his back for being humble and playful. He light up my world because he made sure I am well respected despite that everyone can see that we often talk.

I guess I really loved Myungsoo. But I didn't declare it nor recognized it before. Like I said, I am blinded by my admiration and my shyness towards his kindness.

When we became 'lovers'. I lost focus in my life, I lost the meaning of being senseful. I let him do what he wanted, I let him abuse himself. But I never saw it normal like anybody else would do what he did.

How worse had he become?

Every morning he's at the gate of our house, once he was too early and he did threw stones on my window. He joined me anywhere I went. He bothered eomma most of the time, helped her in the garden, helped her in cleaning and in cooking, once eomma decided to fool him which appeared diabolic in my eyes, she made her clean the roof. And Myungsoo did it with honor.

I got scared that my heart curled into a tight ball. It suffocates me.. the fear.

I sighed. I know he's outside although there's a storm. And in order to do my purpose, I came out and opened the gate.

There he is. He's not wet with the rain, but his eyes are moist. He's breathing quickly as if he just snapped himself out of his silliness.

"Are you crying?"

"I am very stupid. Very very stupid to love you. I must not have done it I must have concealed my feelings. I ended up becoming a fool in the eyes of everyone. I ended up becoming your servant and you did nothing! You think you're the one affected here and embarassed all the time? You fooled me Lei! You ruined my life! You just carved a painful memory in my chest... "

His tears are real, his painful words.. the tone of his voice.. and how it cracked.. broke my heart.

Oh my god what have I done?

"Myungsoo..." Without realizing I also have teared up. What did I do? Unconsciously I just let him flaunt stupidly like that without even supporting him or guiding him? I'm.. I'm a terrible person!

"Lei.. I've never loved someone before. I chose you and yet.. you just stepped on me."

"How did this awakening happened?" I blurted out the strangest question ever.

Myungsoo shook his head. "I'm not supposed to tell you.. it just hit me real hard and I came back with my senses. I told my self that you're not the girl for me. You are selfish." He roamed his toungue on his lower lip. "I hate you.."

Then off he goes. Leaving me with a big lump on my throat, stuck and suffocating. Why do I feel so numb? I feel.. faraway like.. all of this isn't real....

And I snapped myself.

None of this is real.

The back story.. I can't remember. Who am I? Who is Myungsoo? Is this rain even really pouring?

And where did Myungsoo went? He just dissapeared ahead.

None of this is real..

=====

"You're right you should never love 1 girl only. You're still an idol! The worse will come to you and you will be cursed.." I heard the host laugh at what he said. L his lips at the funny remark. It was funny since the people laughed.

"I've had a girlfriend before and our relationship didn't go well so.. in other words I had a terrible memory!" Sunggyu remarked.

I am in a live program, acting as an audience. INFINITE is the guest. And I must have fallen asleep?

I've dreamed about various stories. Horrible stories, and great stories. We ended up with a good ending, but we also ended up with terrifying endings.

I'm thankful I am back to normal. I am back being as a fan who watches INFINITE from afar, admiring them all from afar, and supporting them and loving them from a very faraway distance.

I watched dreamingly as Woohyun threw hearts to the audience. The host demanded he do it. And he did. He was once a psychotic hero, but now he's turned into a more marvelous human being who's multi skilled in dancing and singing at the same time.

Hoya was once a dancer I loved with all my heart, but now he's an idol, having a better life than what I have portrayed of him as.

Sungyeol was once a friend who secretly admired his bestfroend, but now he's a member of a chart topper group and a very funny celebrity who entertained and flutter the hearts of people.

Sungjong was once a young boy trapped under the power of a gang, poorly tortured by oblivion and abduction, but now he's the sweet maknae of INFINITE who made everyone sigh and smile.

Sunggyu was once a troubled man, stuck and held back by the pain he once felt. But now, he's a free man with a better life, and better purposes.

Dongwoo was once a hard to understand kind of guy, who got involved with sticky situations. But now.. he's a safer person in this entertaiment world.

And Myungsoo.. Kim Myungsoo or most popularly known as L. He was once a fool, a stupid idiot drowned by his idiotic love. But now, thanks to him I already had woken up from the misery I have faced. I am now back to reality as an INSPIRIT, just a fan, just a supporter, loving them all at once, fantasizing, and dreaming.

The show ended and it was time for me to go. INFINITE dissapeared through the curtain in a matter of a quick blink as soon as the cameras all were turned off. they're busy, they have to keep moving, and I understand. I also have to move on with my life.

I can never be stuck in the world of fantasy nor fiction. I must always wake up. Live my life, and find the love that is right for me.

As I walked through the hallway, lonely, bumped by other fans as they rushed outside. Others had squeeked with the show's aftermaths, others just remained casual. A distant voice called out my name..

"Lei! Lei shi!"

I spun around to see a tall male smiling down at me.

"Can you come with me for a moment? There's just a request you'll have to fulfill.."

Without uttering anything I followed him. And I was lead to the dressing room where all INFINITE members gathered, clamoring and talking loudly. All had shut up as I stepped inside the room, hovering my steps carefully.. afraid that I might again break the glass of happiness.

All eyes on me. A simple girl, no boyfriend, no job yet, and no make up.

Their gaze penetrates me and I was hoping dearly that this isn't another dream.

"Can you bake a cake for us?" Sunggyu splurted the request.

"Ride a bike with me?" Sungyeol followed up.

"Inhale helium with me?" Hoya then requested. I chuckled.

"Run in the park with me?" Was Dongwoo's request.

"Well.. have a long joyride with me?" Woohyun added.

"Can you bond with me atleast for only for 24 hours?" Sungjong pouted as he entwined his fingers.

I smiled. Fireworks are popping around my head.

"Can you have a date with me?" L said the final request.

And because I believe.. and I am in love.. I took all their requests all at once.

I am an INSPIRIT, I am a girlfriend.

And I have the right to love them. Forever, end ever. I will be by their side.