Months after that unexpected camp out in Sungmin’s house brought more unexpected events in our lives. We had new friends! I wouldn’t be involved in a circle of friends on my own, to be honest. Ever since childhood I only considered my cousin as my closest friends because as I’ve said before, I have troubles getting people to accept me for who I am. My overwhelming beauty must be too intimidating for them and my intelligence must make them struggle to keep up. But now I have a whole group of friends!

During lunch time we always eat together, and when I say always, I really mean it. There was one time when Hyukjae got caught having magazines in his bag again and was sent to detention during lunch break. It felt weird not having the monkey boy around and Donghae barely touched his food, so we all stood up, left the canteen and went straight to the detention room.

“You kids want what?” Mr. Jongwoon asked again while his pet turtle.

“We want to spend our lunch break in detention sir,” Kyuhyun politely answered for the 3^rd time.

“What do you think this is, a substitute canteen?”

“No sir, we think this is a mini prison within our university and we want to visit our friend,” I said with a smile.

Mr. Kim took a deep sigh and shook his head “alright get in.”

It was the first time the five of us entered the detention room with smiles. Good timing too because when we got in, we saw that Hyukjae was close to tears while writing on his second or third paper and all the while looking extremely hungry.

“Hyukkie!” Donghae ran towards the monkey boy.

“Donghae!??” Hyukjae looked surprised when he saw Donghae beside him “what are you doing here!?”

“It’s lunch time we all have to eat together!” Donghae beamed happily.

“Wow guys are all here!” Hyukjae looked at all of us and he was close to tears again.

“Hey don’t go crying on us it’s not our fault you got sent here,” I said.

“No it’s not that hyung,” Hyukjae smiled and clearly pulled back his tears “I’m just happy I didn’t expect you all to go to detention for me.”

“Aww we’re your friends we’ll never you behind,” Sungmin patted Hyukjae on the head and gave him a warm smile.

Aish these dramatic kids.

“Come on let’s just eat I’m starving,” I ushered them to get our packed lunches out.

“Hey how come you’re the only one with fried rice?” Kyuhyun complained when he saw my food.

“Hangeng made it for me,” I casually said.

“Oh, I can cook for you guys too if you want—“

“No, you don’t have to wake up two hours earlier for their stomachs,” I butted in before Hangeng could offer his life for slavery.

“It’s okay really I can—“

“Nope, let Kyuhyun’s boyfriend cook lunch for him,” I raised an eyebrow towards Sungmin, who then pouted.

“I see, the boyfriends do the cooking,” Hangeng said “so am I your boyfriend Heechul?”

I choked on my coke.

“What the hell are you—?“

“Yeah you said it yourself hyung!” Sungmin gave a triumphant laugh at his unexpected revenge.

“I never—“

“Why don’t you ever cook for me?” Donghae pouted at Hyukjae.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one cooking?” Hyukjae asked back.

“Ya stop making it worse you two—“

They all laughed at me. It was a very rare moment in my life to be laughed at. They took the chance because I couldn’t snap back an angry comment… all I did was stutter. It wasn’t my usual attitude, I just couldn’t figure out why I was caught off guard with Hangeng’s question.

I glared at them all one by one and that did the trick though.

They gradually stopped teasing and laughing.

I glared at them all and flashed them a threatening look… all of them except for Hangeng. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I could see him in my peripheral view, he’s still looking at me with a smile.

What the hell?

Is he waiting for a death-glare too? Or is he waiting for an answer?

I wanted to slap myself.

 Come on Heechul why are you acting weird?

It was just a playful stupid question from Hangeng, why am I making a big fuss about it? I know we tease each other a lot with our pretend sweet talk and skinships but it was mostly to annoy the people around us.

Oh stop fooling yourself, deep down you know you want those “pretend sweet talks” to be “real”

“SHUT UP!”

“We’re not teasing you anymore hyung,” Sungmin looked up at me with confused and worried eyes.

I realized I just shouted that out loud and stood up from my seat.

“Hyung are you okay?” Donghae asked with his mouth full of food.

“I uh—I just need to go the comfort room…” I lied and headed straight to the door to avoid their weird looks and more importantly to run away from Hangeng for a while.

When I reached the door I was surprised I couldn’t open it.

“Damn it,” I muttered as I twisted the knob. Nothing happened so I just sat back to my seat.

“What happened?” Kyuhyun asked when I sulked back.

“We’re not visitors here, Mr. Kim arrested us.”

We ended up spending the whole day locked in detention room. Appartenly, Mr. Kim Jongwoon got offended with my statement of detention room being a prison so he locked us all in and went home. If it wasn’t for the school janitor who had to clean every single room, we would’ve spent the whole night there as well.

“Heechul are you okay?” Hangeng asked while we were on our way home one day.

I felt a little uneasy again.

“Yeah I’m fine,” I shrugged a bit, looking up ahead the road where the others were also walking and messing around.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep,” I gave a little nod.

“I thought you were avoiding me,” Hangeng gave a small chuckle.

I chuckled back “no I wasn’t, why would I do that?”

Truth be told I really was trying to avoid him for days.

“Well, it’s just that ever since we got locked in detention last week, you were kinda edgy with me…”

I didn’t say anything for a while.

“I’m feeling guilty that I might have done or said something that offended you or—“

“Shut up, you’re being dramatic like Donghae,”

I suddenly noticed that Hangeng was semi-jogging beside me, which means I must’ve started to brisk walk. I’ve been brisk-walking since last week when he’s around to naturally get away faster, but this time it won’t work.

“Heechul seriously,” his voice was firm and authoritative, it was the first time I heard him that way.

“Yeah seriously tomorrow you might stick your face against Sugnmin’s aquarium too, so be careful—“

“Heechul stop,” I was surprised when Hangeng grabbed my arm and we both just stood there in the middle of the street.

“What are you—?“

“Look at me,” he ordered.

I continued to stare at my cousin and our friends two blocks away, none of them aware that we were left behind.

“I said look at me!” he commanded with a tinge of anger this time.

“There,” I looked at him, maybe for the first time since last week “happy?”

“No, I’m not!’ he gripped my arm tight when I started to walk again “Heechul please I need to talk to you! What happened??”

I fell in love with you, that’s what happened.

“Nothing,” I grumpily replied.

“What did I do? What should I do?”

Will you ever love me back?

“There’s nothing you can do.”

“Heechul what is wrong with you!?” he pulled my arm again.

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” I pulled my arm back harder and glared at him “I’m born this way so deal with it!”

I walked away to the other direction and left Hangeng there alone. I couldn’t bring myself to look back and see his face. Was he hurt? Was he surprised? Did he see right through me and figured out why I was acting strange? Whatever it was, I was just glad it’s weekend already and I can hole up in my room and take these all out on Heebum.

My parents must have confirmed I have mental illness that weekend.

I was either  talking to myself, talking to my cat, or talking to the ceiling. My appetite wasn’t cooperating I wasn’t hungry at all even for my usual favorite food. All I wanted to eat was Beijing Fried Rice. Damn it.

Sungmin called at least a hundred times on my phone and the others left me a bunch of messages.

Were they all worried about me or they just want some juicy news?

I don’t know, I have trust issues as well.

So I just laid down on my bed or on the floor, trying to unthink certain things.

“Tomorrow will be Monday… and I’ll see him again…” the sudden realization came to me that cloudy Sunday afternoon “I can’t handle this anymore… I can’t continue avoiding him…”

“Meoooow…” Heebum meowed at me while his hand.

“And I don’t want our friendship to end over this… or at least not this way…”

Heebum was still looking up at me.

“Alright alright, stop staring at me like that!”

I stood up and made up a bold decision to confess my feelings to my best friend just because my cat looked at me weird. Yes, that’s how I make life decisions.

The five-minute walk to Hangeng’s house felt like hours for me. There were countless times I actually turned around and decided to just go home, but then I pull myself back and say the oh-so-famous line “it’s now or never”

When I reached the china man’s house, I was a bit curious why their family car was parked outside the front yard and there were luggages on top of the car. Kinda weird timing for a family outing, but what do I know they’re Chinese, it’s probably a thing.

“Heechul!” I suddenly heard Hangeng’s voice from the yard.

“Hey,” I gave a little awkward wave.

He looked surprised to see me there and I was more surprised to see him holding huge bags and a few boxes. Hangeng went straight to the car and carefully dropped the things he was holding.

I just waited a few meters away from their yard, awkwardly looking around.

“Heechul what are you—“

“Uhm look, this is not easy for me but just let me talk first okay?” I butted in the most polite way I could with a reassuring smile.

“Okay,” Hangeng nodded immediately, but I could tell he had his guards up.

“About what happened the other day, I’m so sorry…” I wanted to look down on the ground like I always do when I apologize to people, but this is different so I kept my eye contact with Hangeng.

“You know Heechul it’s okay,” he smiled and nodded.

“No, it’s not okay I’m a terrible person, I’m a bad friend and I just don’t want us to be awkward tomorrow at school or ever—“

“Heechul, I thought Sungmin told you…” Hangeng suddenly looked sad.

“I uh, haven’t talked to Sungmin yet, why? What’s happening?”

“I tried to tell you this last time we spoke but you kinda—“

“Yeah I know I’m a jerk, I’m so sorry…” my heart felt heavy all of a sudden, it’s like I knew what was going on but I kept on thinking it wasn’t.

“Well, perfect timing you’re here coz we just moved out the last of our stuff out and—“

“You’re going on vacation? Where? How long?”

“No, not a vacation…” Hangeng looked down then back up at me again “we’re going back to China.”

It took me a whole minute to let that sink in.

“Heechul,” he placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Did the others know?” I did my best to sound calm and cool but inside my head was racking up and my heart was being nailed.

“Yes I told them last week, they’ll be at the airport tomorrow to send me off, it would be great if you’d come…”

“Your flight’s tomorrow? Then why are you moving out today? Where are you staying?”

“Dad booked us a hotel near the airport so we won’t have to worry about traffic and miss the flight,” Hangeng’s face and voice remained calm as if we were just talking about an assignment or what movie to watch at Sungmin’s house.

I just nodded.

I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I wasn’t ready for this. It was all too soon for me.

A few minutes later Hangeng’s mom called out to him.

Hangeng nodded and asked for a few more minutes.

“You should probably go I wouldn’t wanna keep your family delayed or something—“

“It’s okay they can wait,” Hangeng gave a reassuring smile.

“Uhm, have a safe trip then,” I awkwardly patted him on the shoulder.

“Thanks,” he nodded “look I know we’re still gonna see each other tomorrow, but I just want you to know that…”

“Yes?” my heart pounded louder I didn’t think it was even possible.

“Well I’ve been literally around the world and met a lot of people already, but to be honest… you’re the greatest friend I could ever ask for,”

I think my heart stopped for a whole minute.

“You’re being a drama queen again,” I joked to keep my calm.

“No, I’m serious Heechul,” Hangeng said with a firm look, his hand still on my shoulder “I am so thankful to have met you and had the honor of being one of your friends.”

“You’re not just one of my friends, stupid…” I chuckled and lightly hit him on the head.

You’re the one I want to give my whole heart to.

“You’re my best friend.”

Hangeng smiled so happily I wanted to take a picture of him but I couldn’t move. He then pulled me in a tight hug and I knew he wanted to cry but he laughed it off instead.

“Don’t cheat on me while I’m away, okay sweetie?” he said with a laugh.

“Everybody wants me honey, I can’t help it,” I laughed as well.

He eventually pulled back, still smiling and I was right, his eyes were watery.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hangeng said. He then jogged back towards their car and hopped in.

I stayed on my spot.

Hangeng stuck his head out of the window and waved goodbye.

I gave a short nod with a smile.

When their car was far enough away, my smile faded.

Could he be wondering why I didn’t wave back?

It’s because I was never fond of goodbyes.

And tomorrow at the airport, could he be wondering why he wouldn’t see me?

It’s because there’s so much I wanted to say… but I’m afraid the only thing I can actually tell him is “Don’t leave me…”

DEAREST READERS, ARE YOU STILL THERE? Hello? Anybody still reading this?

I AM TERRIBLY SORRY IT’S ALL MY FAULT THIS HAD A LONG HIATUS… please don’t kill me T-T

To somehow make it up to you guys, I’ll post 2 chapters, so this one and the next will be mine as well… don’t worry I’m not gonna post it two years later, I’m gonna post it tomorrow… and then Pumpkinita will have a little life choice to make so let’s all cheer on her ^-^

I’M SORRY TOO IF THIS IS LONG AND QUITE SAD O_o this is how I write things… thankfully Pumpkinita can save your hearts with her bouncy chapters so let’s wait for her rescue in Chapter 17 okay?

THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING THIS AND I AM SUPER SORRY AGAIN I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER!

BONUS: here's a little Heenim during Best of Best in the Philippines we saw him last week ^-^

(this is what seeing SJ live does to me... it makes me update long forgotten fics o_o)