The moment your friend slapped the picture down on your table, your heart was torn. You stared at the two of them a little longer and tried to breathe. You looked at her and she stared unflinchingly into your eyes.

            “I told you he was trash.”

            You shrugged a little and tucked the photo away. “I guess he never really loved me for who I am anyway. Thanks for this. I don’t know how many times he’s done this, but it doesn’t matter.”

            “Once is bad enough,” she told you and you nodded. She gave you a hug. “Stay strong, hon.” You nodded and when she left, stared at the picture a little more. It was clearly Youngjae. You recognized the promise ring the two of you had picked out and you just knew him. And the fact that his face was partially covered by the girl he was kissing did nothing to disguise who he was.

            You sighed deeply. To say that you were hurt was an understatement. Youngjae meant everything to you, or so you had thought. You had felt him pull away for a while but you didn’t try to get him back. Your entire relationship had been both of you putting in effort and if he was going to pull away, he was going to have to come back by himself. Instead, he pulled away and now you were confronted with the fact that he cheated.

            You sighed. It surprised you how calm you were about this. You were expecting yourself to lose control, to break down and to cry but instead you kept thinking that this was okay. That it was inevitable. That he was starting to change anyway. But you knew that it wasn’t true. You were making excuses so you wouldn’t be hurt again.

            It was the third time someone has cheated on you and you had to applaud yourself with learning how to cope. You laughed bitterly to yourself. This time around, you knew how to handle it.

            Youngjae came home, slightly drunk, and was surprised to find that the porch was littered with suitcases. Was she going somewhere? He knocked earnestly on the door and waited for a response. He struggled to fit his key into the lock only to find that everything had been changed. What the hell?

            He knocked and rang the bell again and again. He could see her shadow against the screen door. “Your belongings are outside. You can leave now. Have a great life.”

            He was utterly confused. “Hon, what are you doing? You can’t possibly be kicking me out.”

            “I am,” came her cold response. “You can go stay at her house, whoever she was. I bet she was a great kisser. You looked like you enjoyed it. It’s going to rain tonight, so I suggest you get some shelter.” And then she was walking away.

            Youngjae stared dumbly after her and then her words hit him. How had she found out? It had been one stupid drunken decision and suddenly, he was sober. He wanted to kick himself. How could he be so careless, so stupid? He punched himself once just to see if he was dreaming. It hurt.

            He pounded on the door. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I wasn’t thinking, please!”

            “The driveway is the opposite direction.”

            There was a burst of thunder and then rained poured onto the sidewalk and Youngjae cursed out loud.          

            He crashed at a classmate’s house that night. He stayed up all night, trying to think of ways to make it up to her but came up empty. He knew he had a lot of kissing up to do and so the next morning, he got up and bought her breakfast. She wouldn’t open the door when he knocked so he left it on the porch. When he went back to check with a bouquet of flowers, he saw that the food was still there.

            He sighed deeply. He knew it was a stupid mistake, and he knew he had to fight to win her back. He kicked himself for it. How could he have let his judgment disappear and went along with the girl’s flirtations? He wished he could go back and change everything. And how had she found out?

            Youngjae stared at the flowers in his hands and decided, he was going to sing at her window. He saw her in the bedroom and stood underneath the window and sang their song. She only turned the lights off and disappeared.

            He parked outside her house the whole day until a police officer came up and told him that a woman had reported him for trespassing and loitering. He had to explain that he was waiting for her in order for the cop to leave him alone. Youngjae was desperate. If only she would listen to him explain. But he knew he had nothing to explain.

            You watched him for the whole day and decided that you were going to have the final word. At night, when he rang your doorbell for the umpteenth time, you opened the door. He looked surprised and you smirked a little.

            “Your efforts were appreciated,” you told him.

            Youngjae looked hopeful for a second and he bowed. “Honestly, I’m really sorry. It was stupid. I got drunk, she was giving me advances and I know I shouldn’t have.”

            You placed a finger to his lips and shushed him. “That’s nice, Youngjae. But it’s still too late. Bye. Don’t come back and next time you stay outside my door, I guaranteed I will let that police officer arrest you.” And with your sweetest smile, you let the doors slam in his face.

meh .___. 

tomorrow's will be better i promise