There was a streak across the sky and the ground was ablaze before the boom sounded. There were screams everywhere and the dirt shot into the air and into his eyes. Jongup coughed and a drop of blood came up. He winced and lowered himself on the ground, trying to keep himself as flat as he could.

            He wiped his mouth and got his gun ready. The helmet on his head barely helped to protect him from the falling debris. Everywhere around him, there was the sound of men and it was when the alarm stopped sounding that he knew the danger was over. For now at least.

            He stood up and his legs nearly collapsed underneath him. The bombing had been so unexpected and the casualties were devastating. Jongup looked around and felt the vomit rise in him. Everywhere, body parts and human remains were scattered on the ground and he fought the urge to cry. Even with three months into the war, he was still not used to the carnage.

            Jongup bent and picked up the unharmed weapons. He turned them in his hands and felt the ghostly weight of the people who had held them just previously. Around him, paramedics were trying to rescue those that they could but he felt the hopelessness of it all. The way was going on way too slowly and there wasn’t even a countdown because nobody could see an end in sight.

            “Jongup, come over here.” His commander’s deep voice cut through his thoughts and he was immediately alert. The leader was standing in front of a pile of bodies and he sighed. Please don’t make him be on identification duty. There was nothing more disgusting and sad than having to sift through the remains and try to figure out who the people were. It was bad enough that the empty barracks would be indication enough, being the identifier meant knowing before everyone else did.

            The commander did not order him to identify the bodies. Instead, he held out a chain of dog tags and then a familiar silver chain. Jongup’s heart pounded and he felt his mouth turn dry. He recognized the chain and he took it from the officer in charge with shaking hands. The commander was quiet and then clapped Jongup on the shoulder.

            “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. In the military loss was a way of life. Personal losses were attended to for only a split second and then the soldier was expected to once more strengthen his mental psyche and continue fighting.

            He forbade himself from crying in front of the people who were watching and closed a fist tightly around the necklaces. He turned sharply on his heel and made sure he did not look down at the pile of bodies. The last thing he needed to see was his best friend’s face mutilated.

            It was hard for him to walk into the tent that they shared. Sitting on the opposite bunk was another soldier and he was shaking as he cried. Judging by his reactions, Jongup could only guess that they were going to be receiving two new roommates by the end of the day. He began to mechanically strip Junhong’s bed.

            The man sitting across from him looked up and he could see the hardening in his eyes. “Not Junhong too?” When Jongup didn’t answer, he slammed the bedpost. “Those bastards. Each day, we’ve always been on defense, when would we be able to attack first?”

            Jongup was still quiet and his companion left, cursing. Finally left alone, he allowed a trail of tears of fall from his eyes but the moment the liquid got on the pillow case he was holding, he wiped it off and tried to control himself. Junhong would not want to see him weak. But then again, the kid had always been against the war.

            He took down the posters of beaches and cars that the younger boy had put up, his hopes and dreams after his enlistment period was over, and rolled them up. He knew Junhong had a brother and he also knew that it was his responsibility to get the belongings to them. But as he was packing up, he picked up the photo album that he had brought.

            Jongup sat down and flipped through the pages and saw the old pictures of the tall, smiling young man. He coughed and turned to the last filled pages. There were multiple pictures of the two of them, in their uniforms, on break, smiling and encouraging one another. He took one of the pictures and kept it for himself. He would like to remember the boy.

            After the bottom bunk was stripped of all reminders of its previous owners, Jongup brought the possessions to the head office. The technicalities made him gag. The people in charge treated him as another casualty, another number, but Junhong had been a person. He had been a breathing, thinking, laughing human being and that angered Jongup.

            It was the anger that made him go mad. He slammed his hands down on the table. “When will he buried? Will he be given all honors?”

            The secretary didn’t even look up. “Yeah, we’re going to get all the procedures done and there will be the honorary burial. We’ll be informing his parents soon.”

            “Do you even know who you’re burying? Will we get to say things?”

            The man finally looked up and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Officer,” he squinted as he read Jongup’s nametag. “Moon, this is the military. Anything can happen when we’re being sentimental. Grieve in peace but we don’t have the luxury to be dwelling on death. It happens every day, sir.”

            On a whim, he took out his gun and shot at the war. The people jumped and a couple of bodyguards came towards him. “What if I had hurt someone then? What if it were one of your colleagues? Would that be okay too? Would it also be just another casualty?” Jongup was seething; the words were barely making it out of his mouth.

            There was a silence and then the commander walked in. “Officer Moon,” he called out and Jongup saluted him. “Come.”

            It was only outside, sitting with the sympathetic commander, that Jongup finally allowed himself to mourn his best friend. He clutched Junhong’s tags to him and vowed to live for him.

meep just felt like writing this~