The way she walked up to him was special. Her gait was slow and she showed a slight disinterest in all the other members down the line. It was only as she walked up to him that he sensed a slight bounce to her step. That wasn’t unusual. Having a bias was normal, but her boredom when talking to everyone else had him baffled.

            She was also wearing an oversized B.A.P hoodie on this hot day. Jongup was sweating just looking at her. He nodded politely and smiled at her. A fan was still a fan, and if she liked him the most, well that was a flattering concept.

            “Hello!” he greeted her and was struck by how familiar she looked. There was something to the way her eyes flattened at the corners and the birthmark on her left cheek that pounded on his memory. He wasn’t sure where he had seen her, another fanmeeting perhaps?

            She bowed to him and her hair fell into her face. Out of instinct, she raised her arm to pull it away and the sleeves from her giant hoodie fell back. Her arm was marred with crisscross scratches and lines either a fading pink or puckered red.

            Jongup quickly averted his head so she wouldn’t catch him looking. She gasped and immediately pulled down the fabric to cover her scars. He flipped through her album to find her name and when he saw, both her face and name connected. He thought a bit before the security behind him tapped his shoulder, urging him to hurry.

            He flourished his marker to write his signature then added her name and a message. “Always stay strong and love yourself! All our Babyz are beautiful they way they are. Shady Lady!” Then he handed her back the album with his best angel smile. Even though it wasn’t enough, he wanted to let her know that she was beautiful.

            The moment he got back to the dorm, Jongup flung himself into the storage shelves and began to search for his middle school yearbook. He flipped through the pages, searching all the faces before he found her. There she was, his childhood crush, smiling up from the page delicately. He sat back down and wondered if she still remembered him.

            He turned to the back where there was a contacts list and found her address. He wondered if it was still the same so he matched it with the online database. Jongup felt a little uncomfortable doing it but it was for a good cause so he went to his desk and carefully drew her picture.

            It was of his favorite pokemon and the open pokeball next to it had a heart sitting inside. “Look into the mirror and see beautiful!” Then he proceeded to mail it anonymously.

            Whether she got it or not, Jongup didn’t know but he did know that he made it a weekly routine to write her once a week. Sometimes he drew her pictures, other times, he had inspirational quotes he thought up himself. “To love yourself is key, to love your body is a must. You need both to unlock the doors of obstacles in your path.” It had been thought of on a whim, and Jongup had to admit, he was pretty talented when he tried to be.                     

            He sent the letters constantly, and decided he was going to go home and see how she was doing. She didn’t live too far from his house. He still remembered sometimes following her home to make sure she was safe when they had late night after school activities. This time, he decided he was going to personally deliver the letter.

            One a day off, Jongup went home. After dinner, he slipped out of the house and followed the address. The car in the driveway still looked the same from all those years ago. He had hope. Jongup carefully slipped the letter with the small box of chocolates into the mailbox and hid across the street to see if she would come out and get it.

            She did, twenty minutes later. He shifted, his legs had cramps in them but it had paid off. In front of him, she was opening the letter and his heart lightened to see her smile. She traced the picture of her and him (with a giant question mark on his head) that he had drawn.

            She absentmindedly ate a chocolate and Jongup noticed that she was no longer hiding behind a giant hoodie. Her arms still bore the marks but they were faint, the harshest looking at least a couple of weeks old. He got up, ready to go back. His mission was complete when she shouted. “Stop!”

            She ran across the street to him and pulled him to face her. dropped open. “J-Jongup?” He saw her pale and began to panic. She shouldn’t hyperventilate. Not now.

            He knew he couldn’t play dumb. He bowed to her. “Ah, yeah. Nice to meet you.”

            She shoved the letter into his face. “Did you give me this? And all the other letters too?” He couldn’t respond but his expression told the truth. She let out a tiny squeal and threw her arms around him in her excitement before backing off.

            “I-I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I got too excited. How did you, why?” Her questions were stumbling over one another and Jongup slowly took her hand.

            He looked at her arms and saw that they were beginning to look smooth again. She followed his gaze and he smiled gently. “Let’s talk in the park?”

this is for daughterslament

♥ once this weekend is over, I'll hopefully have time to update again