Looking at something that cannot be seen. His glassy eyes wander along the desolate scenery that the winter left. Just staring at the massive blank canvass of snow, Luhan walks on the bleak road carrying bags of bread, cup noodles and some candies.

"This part of the city is unusually quiet every winter." He thought.

He is again staring at the road. Still looking at something far away but looking at nothing at all. He always catches himself doing this. He finds his eyes looking for something that he doesn't know. Like a yearning for some unknown. He has always been like this whenever he is alone after his friend left. Maybe a part of him wants him back; maybe a part of him says that he should have done something or anything to not let Kris drift away. He sighed from the bucket load of happy but depressing memories that came rushing in. Maybe it was time to say that these memories will stay forever as memories like how people store photographs on picture books or time capsules. Hidden away in the recesses of his mind.

 He was about to look away as he saw a glimpse of a velvet ebony coat that passed by on the other side of the road. And a familiar scent wafts the freezing air. He definitely knows this scent, this face. He definitely knows this person. It's Kris.

A invisible hand lulled him into running after him. Dropping all his groceries, He runs after the man in velvet coat and tears started to fall down his cheeks. His heartbeat picking up its pace as the run turned desperate with every step.

"This may be him…" This phrase repeated like a mantra in his mind. Believing that every word will make it a reality.

The man took a curve from the path. He picks up his speed and took the curve. What he found was not a man but a dead end, a cul de sac. And only the gentle snow and breeze are there. He stared for a few seconds and tears started to streamline his face. He dropped his body on the ground as the gravity of reality poured its utmost force on him. He does not need anyone to tell him what he saw. It was a ghost, a ghost of Luhan's past. A fruit of his yearning for years. The difference is that now he understands. He loves him. He loves Kris.

He did not say a word. He just sits there crying like a child. He finally understands what his heart wants to say. But it is  too late. "Late"… that was the word that broke Luhan down. He sits there until the resounding tiredness took him to sleep.

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"Luhan" A gentle voice calls to him

"Luhan, are you okay?" Worry leaks from his every word.

Luhan slowly fluttered his eyes open. He suddenly sits up. His mind coming into his senses as to what happened on that day. He was about to speak up but the gentle voice hushed him up.

"I was worried after you were not back for an hour and I saw you lying on the snow! What are you thinking of?" Sehun shouted. His voice was really angry but not because of hate but because of concern. His eyes are close to crying with every word he said. I smiled from that thought.

"Hey! Why are you smiling? Have you gone crazy?" He said but his face was puzzled.

"Hey! Luhan!" He said in a softer voice. He reaches out his hands to Luhan.

"Sehun." Luhan replied and he hugs Sehun. The warmth of his friend is the thing he needs on his coldest winter that happened in his life. He thinks that cold desert was always there but finally finding it was harder. His kept emotions hits him full force.

"I heard you saying out 'his' name on your sleep." Sehun said in a low voice. Hurt. That was the emotion that filled that sentence.

 Luhan pulled out of the embrace and with determined eyes, he says "I love him…"

He always knew about Sehun's feelings for him but he just can't give it back. He thought it was because he never falls in love. But he was wrong; it was because he is in love.

"I am finally on the rooftop after someone tried to chase me declaring his love for me. It sounds funny. Really.I never found myself attractive or interesting. 

I think I'll just settle with eating my lunch here.

I was about to open my lunch when suddenly I heard someone. I wonder what they are doing. I snooped around and saw a familiar face. Sehun.

And he is punching some guy into pulp. I just stood there with my mouth opened from shock but I hided myself more. It never striked me that Sehun is a violent guy so I wondered what's wrong. And understanding dawned upon me. That guy was the one who confessed to me earlier.

Questions piled up on my mind. Why is Sehun beating this guy? Why is he suddenly this raving mad? I'm sure that I can feel bloodlust from his every punch and kick. Cold ran through my spine. I never realized that I befriended a dangerous man. But somewhere in my mind, I believe that Sehun is still that gentle person who helped me when I first arrived here. That he is my best friend. So these contradictions cluttered my brain.

'You!' Sehun said with seething rage to the beaten up guy.

'… will never dare two time Luhan again!' He added an extra kick to his ribs and the man coughed blood.

His eyes sparks with something beneath that rage and it was concern… something akin to love. And I know who it is directed to.

Then I finally understood everything. The questions unraveled themselves under a single truth. That is that Sehun cares for me more than a friend. I was knocked out of my breath… I never thought about Sehun like that but I guess I need to hide it from him. That I know about this. This is the only decision my mind thought up in the moment.

I hurriedly left the place and found myself washing my heated face in the powder room. Contemplating about what I saw."

"I know" Sehun replied. His answers reek not only with hurt but with resignation. He kissed Luhan's forehead as a single tear rolled from his cheek.