HARU HARU - BIG BANG

Yeah, finally I realize that I’m nothing without you

I was wrong, forgive me

 

“Hey, Hon. What would you do if someday I leave you?”  She who was hugging me tightly when we were hanging out at her apartment suddenly broke the silence between us with that one silly question.

 

I just shrugged and looked uninterested just by hearing that question. Heck, what the hell is she trying to do? Is she trying to break up with me?

 

I hold her cheeks with both of my hands. My eyes looked straight into her big, brown eyes. I was confused. Her soft skin felt like a baby’s skin. She’s damn beautiful, my one and only ‘danshin’ Thumbelina angel. Just by touching her made my heart skipped a beat. I can’t imagine myself losing her. If I lose her, surely hell will break lose. My world will forever be darken.

 

She took my hands from her cheeks and clasped one of my hands into hers. She rested her head on my shoulders and we both again were in silence. Silence. We were both staring at the ceiling of her apartment.

 

“Hon, I’m serious. What would you do if someday I leave you?” She raised her head from my shoulders and began distancing herself from me.

 

“Babe, you know how much I love you right. I could never lose you. Why are you asking this kind of question? Are you breaking up with me?”

 

She let out her ‘ajumma’ laugh. What’s so funny about this? I began to lose patience. Is she trying to play a trick on me?

 

“Kim Tae Yeon! This is not even funny. Why are you even laughing? I’m asking you seriously this time. Are you breaking up with me?”

 

Her ‘ajumma’ laugh once again filled the tension between us. “Aniya Ji, I’m just asking. No other meaning. I’m not breaking up with you. I love you. For eternity Hon. Remember that okay!”

 

She pulled me into her embrace. I just stood there dumbfounded. I felt the urge to kiss her and well, surely I kissed her. She’s so lovable.

 

“But Ji honey, please answer my question. I want to know.”

 

“Okay. Hurm.. Let me think first.” I put on my thinking face. We were still embracing each other tightly. Her hands were playing with the strands of my hair.

 

I kissed her right cheek before I answered, “If you ever leave me, I think that would be okay. I’m Kwon Ji Yong for God sake. I have the swag, handsome, charismatic and a charmer. If you leave, I can find another girl easily to replace you.”

 

Hearing that, she pulled herself away from my embrace and just smacked my left hand as hard as she can. Wow, she’s surely mad. I could literally see her fuming with anger. Her face is so flushed. I chuckled at the sight on her face.

 

“Yahhhh!! How could you! Evil Ji! I hate you!” She pouted. She turned her gaze away from me.

 

“Aigooooo, my danshin angel is mad at me.”

 

Silence.

 

Owh, damn! I had just been meaning to . Not making her angry.

 

“Tae baby, I’m joking okay. Hey babe, look at me.”

 

I grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face me. Gosh, what the hell is this? She was tearing up. Man, what the hell did I just said?

 

“Tae baby, are you crying?”

 

“Yah! Stupid Ji! Can’t you see my eyes are tearing up? Go out now! I don’t want to see your face ever again!” Tears began rolling down her cheeks. Since when she started to get all so emotional like this? She hated crying more than everything.

 

“Hey, listen. I’m sorry. I’m just teasing you. Stop crying babe. I love you Kim Tae Yeon, with all my heart and soul. Forever and ever.” I wiped away her tears. It pained me so much seeing her tears.

 

“Dummy Ji! I love you too Kwon Ji Yong, with all my heart and soul. Forever and ever.” I smiled cutely as I ruffled her hairs hoping that she would stop crying.

 

“But honestly Kwon Ji Yong, if I ever leave you someday, promise me that you’ll still be happy. Be the Kwon Ji Yong who is a charmer, charismatic and super arrogant. I love you like that Hon.” She giggled before planting a kiss on my lips.

 

Oh my angel! I love you so much!

 

Like the tides my heart is broken

Like the wind my heart is shaking

Like smoke my love faded away

It never erase like a tattoo

I sigh deeply and the ground shakes

My heart is full of dust (say goodbye)

 

I came back home late that night. Yeah, I was drunk. Owh, forgot to mention. I got laid with one pretty lady. She was so fun to be with. Maybe I should contact her again someday. My playboy attitude began to take control of my mind. Yup, I’m a jerk. I have Tae Yeon but I still fool around with other ladies. That’s me, the notorious, badass, handsome playboy. Kwon Ji Yong.

 

I began knocking the door of my apartment like crazy that time. I was hoping that my ‘danshin’ angel would greet me home and took care of my freaking drunken self. I didn’t care if I was disturbing the other neighbors. Why would I? I was drunk and I knew as hell I wasn’t thinking straight that time.

 

10 minutes I stood outside the door. ! Where is she? I began searching for my keys inside my pockets. My drunken self caused me to fumble with the keys.

 

I let myself in and it was dark inside the apartment. Is she sleeping? I sat on the sofa, trying to kill off my dizziness. My world started to spin and I was sure that I dozed off on the sofa till the next morning.

 

The sun shone brightly that it disturbed my solace. I grumbled and woke up from my sleep. Heck! My neck hurts like hell. I looked at my watch and it was 12 o’clock. Luckily it was weekend. If not, I’m so gonna be late for work.

 

I went to my bedroom, searching for my ‘danshin’ Thumbelina angel. Maybe she’s still sleeping soundly like a little kid. Might as well surprise her with a good morning kiss or should I say good afternoon kiss. Kekekeke..

 

What took me by surprise was she wasn’t there on our bed sleeping. The bed looked untouched and was still perfectly made like no one was sleeping there last night.

 

I saw a letter with my name on the table beside the bed. I recognized the handwriting. It was hers. Kim Tae Yeon’s handwriting. My heart began to beat faster.  I could feel my hand shaken as I opened the letter.

 

“Ji, honey,

 

When you received this letter, please know that I’m gone. I can no longer love you Kwon Ji Yong. My love already faded away. Like a smoke. Yeah, I used to love you but not anymore.

 

Ji, even though my heart is breaking into thousand pieces when I’m writing this, I can’t take this anymore. Even though, I’m crying my heart out when I’m writing this, I really had enough. I’m done Ji! For real this time Kwon Ji Yong!

 

You and your stupid flings! At first, I thought that I can close my eyes, deafen my ears and pretend that I know nothing about your rendezvous with other girls. I knew that you are a player and you are still one now. I thought that, hey it’s okay for you to have flings here and there. I won’t get jealous and try to be a good girlfriend for you.

 

But Ji, know this. I’ve reached my limit when you decided to hook up with Tiffany. For God sake Ji! Tiffany Hwang! My BFF! You thought that I wouldn’t know? Well you’re dead wrong Ji. I’ve seen it with my own eyes when you tried to court her. You took her to our special place Ji! Our special place! You know the best that The Nemo is our special place and you took her there, had a date and even spent the night with her?

 

Gosh Ji, you went too far this time! Please Ji, I’m not a freaking Barbie doll who has no feeling whatsoever. I’m not made out of steel. I’m just an ordinary girl I have feelings too. I may be smiling in front of you, I may be kissing happily you but deep inside, my heart is dying Ji! This time I’m finally letting you go Kwon Ji Yong.

 

Thanks for all the memories Ji. I won’t back up, I won’t back down. This time I’m walking away Ji.

 

Goodbye.

 

Kim Tae Yeon.

 

I could feel my world shaking like an earthquake with the scale 8.5 on the Richter scale. My mind suddenly went blank. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, trying to make sense of the letter in my hand. I reread the whole letter again. And at that time, reality began slapping straight to my face.

 

She left me. My Kim Tae Yeon, my ‘danshin’ angel has finally left me. Kwon Ji Yong, you had lost her!

 

 

Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you

But from what was expected, I’m getting along quite well myself

You don’t even answer anything as I cry out ‘I miss you’

I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless

 

 

It’s been months since she left me. I admitted that at first, I was broken. I did not eat properly, I skipped work and I was like a zombie. I ignored everything around me. I miss her so much. I tried calling her, but she never answered. I tried sending her messages, emails, direct messages in Facebook, but all were in vain. She never replied any of those. It was like she was trying to cut any ties possible with me. I tried looking for her. But unfortunately, no one knew where she is now. Not even Tiffany Hwang.

 

I heard someone knocking at the door. Hoping that it was Tae Yeon, I immediately opened the door.  What I saw wasn’t my ‘danshin’ angel but Tiffany Hwang, who was looking great in her pretty summer dress. I let out a sigh before I let her into my apartment.

 

“What the hell Ji Yong? This apartment is like a freaking horse’s barn? Did you even clean up?”

 

Tiffany began nagging when she saw the horrible state of my apartment. I sat on the sofa and just ignored her words. For me, her words were just like the wind blowing and nothing more. Since Tae Yeon left, I ignored everything. I couldn’t care about anything else except for her.

 

“Ji Yong, I’m talking to you!” I could hear Tiffany’s voice getting louder. I gave her my so called irritated face.

 

“What do you want Tiff? I’m busy. Just go will you?”

 

Tiffany rolled up her eyes, looking disbelief with my attitude.

 

 “Busy? Am I hearing this right? You skipped work, you ignored my text and I ing sure you just locked yourself up inside this apartment waiting for Tae Yeon to return home and all you can say to me is you are busy? Lame excuse Ji Yong. Seriously lame.”

 

She sat next to me on the sofa. I once again was in silence. My lips felt like they were glued together. I threw a glance to the girl next to me.

 

“What else do you want me to do Tiff? She left me and my world just came down crumbling to the ground. What do you expect me to do? Losing her was like a poison to me.”

 

I heard Tiffany laughing. What the hell? I’m so miserable right now and she’s laughing loudly like everything that happened is a joke?

 

“Ji Yong. Gosh, I never thought a player like you would be so miserable when a girl left him. Wake up Ji Yong. She’s gone. She left you. There’s no point for you to be miserable and wallowing yourself in self-pity. Enough is enough Kwon Ji Yong.”

 

“Hahahaha… Easy for you to say Tiffany Hwang. It’s not like you are in my shoes now. You would never understand what I am feeling right now.”

 

Tiffany let out a sigh. She stared at the photograph of me and Tae Yeon who were happily hugging each other during her 24th birthday celebration. Both of us once again went quiet.

 

“Yes. I’m not in your shoes but let me tell you this. Tae Yeon has moved on. So you should too. I’m telling you as a friend Ji Yong. She’s happy now. So, let her go Ji Yong.”

 

“And how did you know that Tiff? Did she contacted you?” I quickly held Tiffany on her shoulder and pulled her body to face me.

 

Her face went pale. “Ji Yong, I saw her with Si Won oppa last Friday. She looked happy and I guess they were on a date at that time. I’m sorry Ji Yong.”

 

I was flabbergasted. Tae Yeon and Si Won hyung? I let go off my hands from Tiffany’s shoulder. My body suddenly went numb.

 

“Move on Ji Yong. Tae Yeon already did.”

 

Tiffany left after that. I curled myself on the bed. I looked on the photograph in my hands before ripping it off into tiny pieces.  Me versus Si Won hyung? For sure as hell I will lose. I don’t stand a chance against him. He is like an angel, same as Tae Yeon. While me, the guy who always painted the city of Seoul red with my playboy character, is the devil.

 

She deserves someone better than me. I’m sure Si Won hyung would treat her like she is his most precious treasure in the whole wide world.

 

Kwon Ji Yong. Mend your broken heart dude. She’s not yours anymore.

 

 

 

What is it about the person next to you, did he make you cry?

Do you even see me; did you already completely forget me?

I am worried; I feel anxiety because I can’t approach you or talk to you

Alone in the night, I erase my thoughts a hundred times.

 

 

I finally had the courage to ask Tiffany on how to find Si Won hyung. As first, Tiffany was reluctant to give his address because she thought that I would go crazy and decide to have a fight with Si Won hyung. However, I managed to convince her that I would never do anything that will cross the boundaries of the laws. I just wanna see how Kim Tae Yeon is doing. Is she well? Is Si Won hyung treating her dearly and not being a jerk like how I used to be?

 

“Promise me Kwon Ji Yong. You won’t do anything stupid. Just see them for afar okay.”

 

“Yah! Tiffany Hwang. I’ve told you like a million times that I’m not going to do anything. I just wanna see how’s she doing? I miss her Tiff. I really do. Please, just tell me how to find Si Won hyung.”

 

We were at a café having lunch together at that time. Tiffany ignored me for a while and just focused on eating her chicken parmesan. I waited patiently for her answer.

 

Tiffany took a sip of the red wine. She played with her hands, looking anxious. I began to lose my patience.

 

“It’s not like I don’t want to tell you. It’s just that I don’t want to see you get your heart broken again Ji Yong. You barely pulled yourself together out of the mess a few weeks ago and I hope to God, that you will never go back to that state again.”

 

I put my hand on my forehead. I knew that Tiffany is worried about me but I really do want to see my angel again. Even if it is from afar and even if she is with someone else.

 

“Tiff, I’ll be strong this time. I just wanna see her.”

 

“Gosh, I surely hope I won’t ever regret this. Here’s Si Won oppa’s address. Pinky promise me that you will not suffer again Ji Yong.” Tiffany said while making me pinky promise to her.

 

“Yah! Tiff, do you think I’m a kid? What with this pinky promise?” I laughed out loud but still I pinky promised her. Finally I can see her again.

 

After my lunch with Tiffany, I went to Si Won hyung’s house. I hoped that I can see her today. I waited for like two hours before I saw her walking together with Si Won hyung.

 

I guessed they went to buy the groceries. I saw Si Won hyung being the gentleman that I knew, carrying the plastic bags with his left hand while his right hand was holding Tae Yeon’s hand.

 

I thought that I could feel my heart shattered into pieces. Gosh, this is so hard. Tiffany already warned me about this but well, I was too stubborn to listen to her. Serve you right Kwon Ji Yong!

 

She looked happy but did she lose some weight? I remembered that Tae Yeon always asked me to accompany her to go and buy the groceries. She said that buying groceries will help us to bond but being the lazy , I always found some lame excuses for not going. As always, she would put on a smile on her face and said she can go by herself.

 

Kim Tae Yeon, I was so stupid of letting you go. I’m sorry Tae baby. Please be happy. I threw one last glance towards the lovey dovey couple before I drove away with a broken heart. Goodbye Kim Tae Yeon!

 

As I was driving, I switched on the radio. And that one song suddenly made my heart bled. Haru Haru by Big Bang.

 

Don’t look back and leave

Don’t find me again and just live on

Because I have no regrets from loving you

So only take the good memories

I can bear it in some way

I can stand it in some way

You should be happy if you are like this

Day by day it fades away

Oh girl, I cry, cry

You’re my all, say goodbye.

 

Yes, I could feel my eyes tearing up. It was my fault that things ended up this way. I can’t blame anyone else except for myself. I was the jerk who broke her heart first.

 

I slept with Tiffany even though I never felt a thing for her. I slept with Tiffany even though I knew that she is Tae Yeon’s best friend. I was the one who killed her love for me. I was the one who did not know her true value. And now karma is biting me hard. Kwon Ji Yong, you just got served with what you deserved. Swallowed it up dude!

 

She is not coming back to you anymore. She has Si Won hyung now.

 

Even if we bump into each other

Pretend you didn't see me and keep going

If old memories keep on being thought of

I might go look for you secretly

Always be happy with him, so I don't think of anything else

You have to get along so there is not even a small regret in me

Like the white sky and like the blue clouds

Yes, just smile like nothing is wrong

 

Smile, Kwon Ji Yong. You are better than this. Being miserable, looking like a slump just because of one girl is so totally not you!Where’s your swag? Where’s your sky high dignity as a playboy? Where did the super arrogant charming Kwon Ji Yong go?

Fix your mess Ji! Smile. Hope that she’ll always be happy with him. She deserves happiness and all that you gave her so far was sadness. You and Kim Tae Yeon are never meant to be together. Let her find her happiness Ji.

 

Don’t look back and leave

Don’t find me again and just live on

Because I have no regrets from loving you, so only take the good memories

I can bear it in some way

I can stand it in some way

You should be happy if you are like this

Day by day it fades away

 

Hope your heart is relieved after leaving me

Just forget me and live on

Those tears will all dry up, yeah

As day by day passes

 

Yes. Just forget me Kim Tae Yeon. Like you already did now. I may cry but I promise you Tae baby, I will stand up again. I’ll cherish all our memories together. My days with you are the best days of my life. I’m sorry for all the pain and suffering that I’ve caused you.

Let’s bury our love right now Kim Tae Yeon. I realized that everything is over between us.

 

If we never met each other then it would have hurt less,

The promise of us staying together is now a memory baby

I’ll pray for you

 

I knew that I used to promise you forever, but I guess forever ends here. Your heart belongs to someone else now. Your forever is no longer with me.  Your smiles, your laughs, your kisses, they will never be mine anymore. Argh! Kim Tae Yeon. Why in the hell did I ever take you for granted?

 

No use of regretting now Ji. Everything is meaningless now.

 

Don’t look back and leave

Don’t find me again and just live on

Because I have no regrets from loving you, so only take the good memories

I can bear it in some way

I can stand it in some way

You should be happy if you are like this

Day by day it fades away

 

Oh, girl, I cry, cry

You’re my all, say goodbye, bye

Oh, my love, don’t lie, lie

You’re my heart, say goodbye

 

Day by day it fades away. My pain and sorrow of losing her has finally healed up. Thanks to Tiffany I guess. She spent her time every day to make sure that I won’t slip back into my depression state.

 

I was happy once again. I was smiling wholeheartedly and I laughed sincerely. My life finally has colors again. No more Kim Tae Yeon taunting my memories and dreams. I can sleep soundly at night nowadays.

 

Even so, my heart still longs for her. I miss her presence but I know I can’t ever have her back. I still love her with all my heart and soul. Forever and ever.  I just wish she’s happy with Si Won hyung.

 

And after a few months, I would never think I will hear any news about her again. I was dead wrong. And obviously, that one news about her just made my heart lost its ability to beat normally.

 

Please, it’s not the news about her getting married to Si Won hyung. It’s the other way around actually. Yes, the groom is Si Won hyung but the bride is not KIM TAE YEON! It was Tiffany Hwang. What the effing is going on here? I can’t believe she’s hurt once again by an . Tiffany Hwang surely has a lot to explain to me.

 

I lost my patience and just barged into Tiffany’s office rudely. I couldn’t care less if she wanted to call the security for my rude behavior. I just want to know the truth behind this ridiculous story of her marrying Si Won hyung. He’s Tae Yeon boyfriend for God sake!

 

Tiffany looked surprised with my sudden arrival. She stood up and her face went white. At that moment, I was sure I scared the day light out of her. Well she should be scared. How can she have the courage to hurt Tae Yeon again after her temporary fling with me that cause us to break up?! And now she wanted to marry Choi Si Won?

 

“Tiffany Hwang. What the hell is going on here? Why are you marrying Si Won hyung? He’s Tae Yeon boyfriend for God sake. She’s your BFF. Are you out of your mind?”

 

Without waiting any response from her I continued, “You better have a good explanation about this before I myself go and bash that stupid Choi Si Won!”

 

“Ji Yong, dude, calm down please. Sit first and let me explain everything to you.”

 

My heart was burning with fire but because I respected Tiffany and was grateful to her for supporting me when I lost Tae Yeon, I sat down quietly. My eyes were still gazing at her features with unsatisfied feeling.

 

“Talk! And don’t bother skipping any information from me!” My voice tone became harsher than before.

 

Tiffany took one deep breath before she began to spill everything to me. Trust me, I just wanted to kill myself after I heard her explanation.

 

“Ji Yong, Tae Yeon and Si Won were never an item to begin with. It was all a lie Ji. An act to make you and her broke up. And..and.. We never did slept together last time. You were drunk and nothing happened. Si Won is actually my fiancée.”

 

“A lie? An act? What for Tiff?” I don’t know what kind of expression I was showing at that time on my face. I was confused. That’s all I can say.

 

“And why is Si Won suddenly became your fiancée?”

 

Tiffany fixed her sight towards me. She showed her ‘please-do-understand-Ji Yong’ face to me.

 

“Tae Yeon asked for my help to make you forget her. She’s sick Ji Yong. She can’t live long anymore. She..she…” I could see that Tiffany can’t continue her words. She was left speechless. Her famous eye smile turned into teary eyes.

 

“She what Tiff? What the hell is going on here? What do you meant when you say she can’t live long anymore?”

 

“She has leukemia Ji Yong. Her chemotherapy is not really helping to improve her condition. And we have yet to find any suitable donor for bone marrow. She’s dying Ji Yong.”

 

Dying? My angel is dying? Is this even a reality or am I dreaming right now?

 

“She knows that you love her so much. She knows that you can’t bare the fact that she’s going to leave you forever. That is why she did all of this. To make you let her go in the easiest way possible. For her, it’s better for you to let her go now than having you watch her dying slowly.”

 

My mind just went dark. Tiffany’s words kept echoing in my mind. She’s dying. I could see Tiffany started crying and at that moment, I snapped back into reality.

 

“Tiff, I want to meet her. Please let me see her. I’m begging you.”

 

Seoul National University Hospital.

 

From the window of the room, I could see her petite figure, lying down on the hospital’s bed. My God! She’s suffering so much and I wasn’t even there with her. I literally wanted to punch myself just by seeing her pale figure. She lost so much weight. Her beautiful brown hair was now gone. Her bright dorky self was no longer there. All I see was a sick Kim Tae Yeon.

 

I can’t bring myself to go inside her room. My guilt just won’t let me. Even though my mind kept telling me to go inside, hold her tight and stay with her, my heart was filled with guilt. I spent my time with her every day and I didn’t ing knew that she is sick.

 

I felt a hand on my left shoulder. Choi Si Won. He gave me a pity look and dragged me outside so that we can talk peacefully.

 

“Kwon Ji Yong right. I’m  Choi Si Won.” He introduced himself.

 

“Yes, I knew who you are. You’re Tae Yeon’s fake boyfriend and Tiffany’s fiancée.”

 

He took a sit on the bench and ushered me to sit beside him. I obeyed and we both now were in silence. I threw my gaze to the bright blue sky. White clouds were everywhere.

 

“I’m sorry man for what happened. Tiffany and Tae Yeon both asked me a favor and I can’t bear to turn them away after I knew about Tae Yeon’s condition. Now that you already knew the truth, be with her Ji Yong. Be with her so that you can be her strength. Help her to push through this painful disease and maybe we both can see her angelic smile again.”

 

He patted my back before walking away.

 

Kwon Ji Yong, you need to be strong. For her sake.

 

**********************************************************************************

 

“Tae baby.”

 

I called her name went I stepped into her room. She was shocked to see me there. Her lips quivered, her eyes started to tear up and she tried to get up from her bed.

 

I quickly went to her side and pulled her into my embrace. Gosh, I miss her warmth. I miss her smell and I miss holding her tightly like this.

 

I heard her sobbing loudly. I let go of her from my tight embrace and fixed my sight towards her. I cupped her cheeks with my hands and kissed her forehead.

 

“Ji, is that really you? My mind is not playing a trick on me right?” She cried while interlocking my fingers with hers. It was like she was afraid that I was just an illusion to her.

 

“Hi babe. It’s me. Your Kwon Ji Yong. And I miss you Tae baby!” This time I wiped her tears away and kissed her on the lips.

 

“Ji..Ji.. I’m sorry. For everything. I miss you so bad but.. but..”

 

“Hey, babe. No more but. I knew everything. Don’t push me away again Kim Tae Yeon. Let me stay by your side. Let me fight with you.”

 

“Ji.. it’s not that easy. I’m dying and I don’t want you to suffer by seeing me dying slowly. Just leave Ji. Leave because I couldn’t stand the sight of you hurting.” She pushed me away from herself as she lied back onto the bed. She hid herself inside the comforter.

 

“Hon, what are you talking about? Let me stay with you. If you can’t stand the sight of me hurting, I also feel the same way. Do you think I will let you face this alone? Hon, you are my life. Don’t run away from me anymore.”

 

I lied on the bed beside her. My hand went to hug her by the waist and pulled her closer to me.

 

“Ji, I’m not that Kim Tae Yeon anymore. I’m sick and I’m not pretty anymore. Look at my hair. I’m almost bald now. I don’t even know if I can still be alive tomorrow.”

 

She was sobbing so hard and tried to push my hands away from hugging her on the waist.

 

I rested my head on her shoulders as I tighten my hold on her waist.

 

“Hon, please stop crying. I love you with all my heart and soul, forever and ever. Regardless if you are now bald or even if you don’t know if you are still going to be alive tomorrow. I want to spend my whole life with you and build a happy family together.”

 

“Ji, you know that I also love you with all my heart and soul, forever and ever. But my sickness…”

 

I pulled her body towards me so that she could see my face.

 

“I’m serious, Kim Tae Yeon. Will you marry me, be my wife and the mother of my children? I don’t care if you are sick, we will fight this sickness together. Have faith in me please.”

 

Our heads were now against each other. I waited patiently for her answer. I didn’t even know why I suddenly have the courage to propose to her with this unromantic set up. All I know is I want her to stay by my side and I also want to be by her side.

 

“You will regret this later Ji. So my answer is NO.”

 

“Why?” I was shocked. Why did she reject my proposal?

 

“Let me be healthy first. Then later on, please propose to me once again. I really do want to be your other half, but with my condition right now, I don’t want to give you any false hope. Just wait for me okay.” She snuggled herself into my chest and buried her face there.

 

“Always babe. Anything for you.” I smiled and hugged her tightly.

 

 Kim Tae Yeon, I promised to stay with you come hell or high water, come sickness or health, come happiness or sorrow.

 

 

 

6 years later.....

 

“Mommy.. Mommy.. let’s go over there.”

 

I could hear my 4 year old daughter, Ji Yeon calling her mother to drag her together for a walk with us.

 

Tae Yeon and I were married two years after her sickness. We almost lost faith in our relationship. I didn’t want to let her go but she kept pushing me away. Luckily Tiffany and Si Won were there to support us along the way. If not, we both won’t be here together with the cutie pie Kwon Ji Yeon enjoying our holiday in Jeju Island. She’s a sweetheart and adorable just like her mother. Well, she’s actually the photo copied of Tae Yeon but in children size.

 

I looked at the verandah and I saw Tae Yeon was already dressed up to go for a walk. My heart still fluttered at the sight of her. Well, Kwon Ji Yong, you are really madly in love with your wife.

 

“Mommy.. I learnt how to swim just now. Daddy taught me how to swim. Yeay!!” Ji Yeon was jumping around Tae Yeon. They both looked so cute together and geez, I felt so bless right now.

 

“Owh, really sweety? Now you know how to swim. Waaaa, my daughter is so clever.” Tae Yeon patted Ji Yeon’s head while giving me her angelic smile.

 

“Yup..Yup..I know how to swim now. Right daddy?” Ji Yeon looked at me her excited face.

 

“Yes. My little princess can swim now. She can swim like Ariel the mermaid. Happy now?” I quickly grabbed Ji Yeon and tickled her.

 

“Yah.. stop it daddy. Mommy, help me. Daddy is bad. Daddy is tickling me. Ji Yeon doesn’t like it.” Ji Yeon tried to break free from my tickling attack. Tae Yeon just laughed and asked me to stop tickling our daughter.

 

“Enough Ji. If not she’ll throw a tantrum at you later on. Your daughter is stubborn you know.” I let go off Ji Yeon and my little daughter quickly ran to her mother’s side.

 

“Babe, my daughter is your daughter too. And I wonder where she gets the trait for throwing a tantrum?”

 

“Really Ji? You should know the answer for that. She got it from you. Not from me.” Tae Yeon held my hand on her left hand while Ji Yeon’s on her right.

 

We were walking along the beach together while watching the beautiful picturesque sunset. Ji Yeon broke free from Tae Yeon’s hand and went running along the beach happily.

 

“Princess, don’t go too far okay.” Tae Yeon told Ji Yeon before we sat comfortably on the sand.

 

“Finally, our time alone. Yeay for Daddy Ji!” I while putting my arm on her shoulders.

 

“Yah. Behave. Our daughter is watching Daddy Ji.” She tried to push away my hand but I just tighten the hug.

 

I put my hand on her stomach. Yes, Tae Yeon is pregnant again. My life couldn’t get any better than this. I have Tae Yeon, Ji Yeon and our soon to be born baby.

 

“Hey, lil guy. How are you? It’s Daddy Ji here. Daddy can’t wait for you to be born. I want to teach you how to play basketball and pass on my tricks to woo girls to you.”

 

Hearing that, Tae Yeon smacked my back. She pulled my ear like a little kid.

 

“Daddy Ji, you better not teach your son some weird stuff okay. I don’t want him to be a playboy like you. And besides, we don’t even know if this baby is a boy or a girl yet. Don’t assume Hon.”

 

“ouch! Tae darling. It hurts okay. Stop pulling my ear. I’m not our daughter dear.” She let go off my ear. I rubbed my ear due to the pain.

 

“I’m sure that it’s going to be a boy. Trust me on this. My intuition is always right.” I pinched both of her cheeks.

 

“What if it’s a girl? Would you hate her?”

 

“Of course no babe. I’ll love her as much as I love Ji Yeon.” She rested her head on my shoulder. I patted her head and played with her hair.

 

“If it’s a boy, I decided to name him Kwon Tae Yang. If it’s a girl, let’s name her Kwon Yuri. How about that babe?”

 

She nodded and I kissed her on the lips.

 

Thank you god for giving me the chance to be happy with her. Day by day, our love for each other become more stronger than before. Day by day. Let us be happy together. Forever and ever.