The shrill sound of the bell echoed through the school. It was time for the next lesson – English. Yuri loved English, she loved writing. Writing seemed to have trapped her soul and whenever her pen hit the piece of paper, her soul was free. The English teacher, Mr. Kim stepped into the noisy class and everyone settled down. “Good morning class.” His deep voice boomed.

The class couldn’t bother to reply. They had zero interest in studying. They were deemed to be a bunch of delinquents in society, so why bother? On the contrary, Yuri was more than ecstatic and couldn’t wait for Mr. Kim to share his English expertise again. She opened up her black notebook and picked up a pen, ready to jot down important notes.

“Today, I’m going to give a surprise pop quiz. It’ll be relatively easy.” The class burst into groans and complaints but Mr. Kim’s hard glare silenced them. He cleared his throat and continued, “Whoever I pick, please answer my questions or else, detention. It doesn’t have to be right but show that you tried. The mock test is coming soon and I expect some results from everyone.”

Yuri was jittery. She knew that she would answer his questions with ease, she was confident. Yet, if she answered the question correctly, would she be deemed as a teacher’s pet immediately? Was she ready to go through another day of bullying? She swallowed and lowered her head, hoping that Mr. Kim wouldn’t pick her. She wasn’t ready.

“Bin Jinwoon.” Jinwoon rolled his eyes and stood up lazily. “What is the past tense of ‘run’?” He cursed under his breath and shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to think. “Jinwoon, please try.” The entire class looked at him, waiting for his answer. He racked his brains for that word and he struggled. *It’s ‘ran’.* Yuri thought.

“Ran…?” Mr. Kim perked up and smiled at him.

“Bingo!” Jinwoon placed a palm over his chest and heaved a sigh of relief. The class held their breath once again, awaiting the next person to be called out. Yuri could understand why though. Only the worst of the worst goes to detention in this school and being bullied there is inevitable, transfer student or not. “Next, Ahn…. Daniel.” Yuri almost choked when she heard her surname only to relax when Mr. Kim finished his sentence.

He stood up and waited for the teacher to ask his question almost willingly. “Yes?”

“Can you tell me a word that starts with a letter ‘L’? Any word.” Daniel bit his bottom lips. It was an easy question, no doubt. There were many words that started with the letter ‘L’ but somehow, nothing came to mind. From the back, he could hear a soft feminine whisper, “Lonely.” The moment his sharp ears picked it up, he blurted the exact same word.

“Lonely. The word is ‘Lonely’.”

Mr. Kim nodded his head and held a thumb up. “That was not a word I had expected. I expected something easier.” He chuckled and Daniel shrugged before sitting down again. His mind was filled with the soft voice earlier and he turned around to see Yuri who had her head buried in her notebook. *Was it her that helped me? I don’t even know the meaning of the word ‘lonely’.*

Yuri felt a single tear roll down her cheek as she tried to cover her face with her notebook. Why did she blurt out the word ‘lonely’? Maybe it’s because she was lonely. It was the only thing she could feel, at home or in school. She was somehow thankful that no one wanted to sit with her, so that she wouldn’t be made fun of. She was supposed to be a strong girl in front of everyone, not a wimp that would burst out crying in the middle of class.

Nevertheless, Yuri wiped away her tears with her uniform sleeve and breathed in sharply. *You’re a strong girl, Yuri.* The thing is, Daniel who was sitting directly in front of her, heard her soft muffled cries amongst the commotion of the class. It screamed to him, like a girl trapped in a steel cage. He knew how the class had treated her but why does she seem so different from any other transfer strudents?

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Yuri unlocked the front door and entered her home. The smell of new paint still lingered and nostalgia hit her like a bullet train. Now that she was home, she was allowed to cry, right? Her lips, instead of frowning, they tugged upwards. Her cheeks were soon stained with fresh tears and she was brought back to the past.

“You promised!” A 9 year old Yuri wailed. Her mum halted before her hand could reach the knob. “You promised! You said you will never leave me. You said you’ll watch me grow up and find the man of my dreams. You said I was your one and only princess. You promised me you’ll be by my side and we’ll grow old together!”

Her mum turned to look at her daughter. Indeed, Yuri was the apple of her eye, she was her only daughter, the only reason she has been in this household for years. But she had to leave, she didn’t love her husband. Yuri swore she could see her mum’s tender loving eyes turn into a cold hard look in a split second and she almost flinched. Where did her loving mother go to? “Yuri, I don’t love your father. Now that you’ve grown up, I should leave. I would love to bring you with me but your father needs you. You’re the only one who can stay by his side. Promise me that.”

Yuri could feel her heart breaking into two as her mother left the house without a single ‘Goodbye’. For 9 years, she had believed that her parents were deeply in love with each other. For 9 years, she had believed that she had a happy family. For 9 years, she trusted her own mother who had abandoned her. But no matter how hard Yuri tried, her young heart wouldn’t hate her mother. She couldn’t. And when her father returned home that day, Yuri hugged him as tightly as he could. He understood when he realized the empty house. “Your mother finally left.”

Yuri shook her head to throw that incident out of her mind. She missed her mother dearly but she wouldn’t admit it. When her mother left, a part of Yuri felt empty, like something was missing. Her father had tried his best to do his duties both as a father and a mother. She was glad. She was glad that both of them managed to stay strong all these years.

“Yuri dear?” A coarse voice called out and Yuri realized she had been standing at the same spot. She wiped her tears frantically and turned around to greet her father.

“Dad! You’re home!” Yuri chirped as happily as she could. Her father walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. He knew very well that Yuri thought of her mother every time she was able to but he chose to keep silent.

“Had a good day at school?”

“Yes.” Yuri lied smoothly. Every day, she would come home with a new stain on her uniform or a cut or bruise on her limbs. Her father wouldn’t notice. She didn’t want her father to worry over something so trivial when he already had a hard time making ends meet. “School is getting better and better. I had English today. My favourite lesson!” A genuine smile appeared on her face this time.

“Great to hear, dear. Great to hear.” Her father nodded and looked at his daughter lovingly. She looked as strong as titanium but yet so weak like a porcelain vase on the inside. He wanted to protect her with everything he could but he couldn’t. He snapped his fingers when he was reminded of something. “Ah! Yuri, I received my pay today.” He fished out a brown envelope and opened it. Yuri widened her eyes. She knew what was coming.

“Here you go!” Her father passed her 50,000 won. It wasn’t much to any other kid, but to Yuri, it meant a lot. Every month, after receiving his salary, he would give Yuri additional allowance for her to pamper herself. “Now only for today, you know the drill. I allow you to come home late. Go ask some friends out and have fun!” He clapped his hands in glee.

Yuri nodded just like she always did. She went to her room, took out the small piggy bank hidden in the corner and slipped the 50,000 won note in. Never once did she use the money, she had kept it for emergencies. Just then, Chanhee appeared in her mind. *He did pay for my uniform right? I guess I should return him the money soon.* Yuri opened her piggy bank again and counted 25,000 won before placing it into her wallet. *But when will I ever see him again?*

Not bothering to wash up, Yuri changed into a simple T-shirt and shorts, matched with her old black sneakers. She was indeed going to go out, just like her father had said. But to spend money? No. Where was she going to find ‘friends’ that will spend time with her? Did she even have friends? She sighed as she left the house. It was good, in a way. It felt like an escape from reality. From reality that her mother had left her. From reality that her life was getting worse by the minute.

She hated it here. She hated Seoul.