My hand shakily stirred the food I had cooking on the stove.  Chanyeol's favorite food, actually.  My heart was beating a mile a minute, just waiting for the front door to open, signaling Chanyeol's return from wherever he had been.  I'd come home from work to find a bright yellow post-it note on the fridge with his chicken-scratch scrawl of "I'll be back around 6:30 Baekkie ~~ I love you!!" written on it.  So I'd had an hour to make everything about this evening absolutely perfect before I left to meet Joonmyun and others for a night out.

I hadn't realized until my talk with Joonmyun the day before that I really had been ignoring my friends.  It was very awkward at the beginning for both me and Joonmyun, because I wasn't used to holding a conversation with anyone except Chanyeol, and he wasn't used to me initiating any kind of conversation that wasn't me being angry and defending my relationship with my boyfriend.

I'd walked into his office Thursday morning...

...noticing for the first time how much he seemed to be hunched over his desk, shoulders drawn close to his body like they were being pushed by an invisible force to stay that way.  I stood awkwardly in the doorway, not sure what to say to get his attention; however, after a minute Joonmyun sighed heavily and looked up, dark circles apparent under his small eyes.

"U-Uhhh...hyung," I stuttered awkwardly, hand coming up to my neck as a sign of my uncertainty.

It took him a few seconds to fully comprehend that I was speaking to him, and upon that realization he stood up quickly from his chair.

"A-Are you okay, Baekhyun?  Did something happen?" he asked frantically, assuming the worse.

"No, I'm okay.  I-I was wondering if...um, we can...you know, like...hang out.  A-After work.  One day."

Joonmyun's eyes widened, and he whispered almost to himself in incredulity, "Really?"

He looked at me like an innocent child, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.  

"How about...Friday night?"

He just nodded, and I bowed a little before stumbling out of his office to my cubicle.

I worked on the tasks that were assigned to me on autopilot.  My mind was still reeling from my pseudo-conversation with Joonmyun.  Could I actually call that a conversation?  I'm not sure that the awkward exchange fit any definitions of the word.

After about ten minutes of monotonous work, I suddenly felt someone's arms wrap around me in my chair, surprising me.

"Thank you," Joonmyun mumbled as he cried on my shoulder, sniffling and whimpering as the sobs wracked his chest.

I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there awkwardly without moving a muscle and let him release all his emotions.  At points, he hugged me so tightly that I felt like I couldn't breathe.  But just as quickly, his arms grew weak and they limply clutched onto my shirt.

We made plans for 8:00 tonight to go out for some drinks at a small, local club some new band was playing at.  Jongin had told us about the place when Joonmyun and I invited him, Kyungsoo, and Sehun as well.  I never knew that he was so in-the-know about local indie bands in the area.  I guess I never really got to know Jongin that well before.

Everyone was surprisingly okay with it, though Jongin did give me a lingering glance before agreeing to participate.  I stopped myself from glaring back at him.

Joonmyun was the most excited out of everyone.  He'd bounced around the office, whistled while he worked, and smiled at everyone he passed by.  His usually drawn face had been lit up with expectation and elation.  He was almost a different person, and I wasn't the only one that was shocked.  Coworkers and clients alike noticed the change in him.  Many talked about it with each other, and I overheard a lot of their conversations.  I couldn't help but feel a sort of satisfaction that I was the reason he was so happy.

But then I remembered that I was also part of the reason he become so sad in the first place, and that feeling would disappear as quickly as it came.

The timer in the kitchen went off, bringing me back from my reveries, and I brought the finished food to the dinner table I had set with a nice tablecloth and a couple flowers as a small centerpiece.  I made sure that the flowers were oriented just right for the aesthetics of the table.  I double checked.  I triple checked.

Chanyeol's surprise present rested in a bag hidden behind the couch in the main room.  I planned to give it to him after dinner and explain my plans for the night while he was still in awe of my generous gift.  I'd bought a black hoodie with moons covering it that he'd oogled a couple weeks ago when we'd went window shopping.  I really didn't have much extra money, but since I needed to be on Chanyeol's good side today, I'd decided to splurge a little and maybe not buy as much eyeliner this week as I usually did.

I double checked that the present was properly wrapped and hidden from view.  I triple checked.

And then I checked the flowers one last time, too.

Ever since my appointment with Dr. Kim, the foreboding feeling that things were going to go horribly wrong with my plan never seemed to leave.  I had countless nightmares of Chanyeol yelling at me or storming out on me or crying in utter betrayal.  Not one of them was a dream about my boyfriend actually understanding and supporting me, and for some reason that really hurt.  I was incredibly antsy because of it.

I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard the front door open and Chanyeol's deep voice call out, "Mmm, something smells good!"

I put on the best smile that I could as he walked into the kitchen, trying to hide my nerves.

The usual twitching grin spread across his face as he took in my outfit – all dolled up for the club that he didn't know I was going to just yet – the decor, and the dinner I'd prepared for the two of us, breating out a soft "wow" as he looked at it all.

"Welcome home, Channie," I tried to say without shaking as I gave him a peck on the cheek and grabbed his hand to lead him to the table.  I could hear his stomach grumbling in hunger.

He voraciously ate his food, barely uttering a word.  He was always that way whenever I made his favorite dish.  I ate slowly, giggling a few times at the sauce that covered his face, but mostly just thinking about how I was going to bring up my plans for tonight.  Maybe I should just mention it casually.  Or maybe I should build up to it first, like talking about how stressful work has been recently and how I need to just go out for a bit and "oh hey, I was actually invited to a club with some coworkers" or something like that.  Or I could just blurt it out.  Any option will probably lead to same horrible end result.

"So, what's all this for?" Chanyeol asked, gesturing to me and to the table.  I hadn't realized he'd finished eating so quickly.

"Um, I-I just...wanted to surprise you tonight when you got home, that's all."

"Well, you sure did.  This was delicious!" he responded, grinning widely, and also adding in a whisper, "You look pretty delicious, too."

"I have one more surprise for you, though," I said, ignoring his last comment.

I quickly grabbed his present and presented it to him, Chanyeol's cheeks blushing a little.  He gasped the second he took the hoodie out, snuggling and petting it like he would a puppy.

"I can't believe you got this for me!" he said incredulously, gazing at me lovingly from across the table.

"You deserve it."

"I'll treat you well tonight, then," he uttered seductively, winking at me.

"Actually, um," – I swallowed nervously – "I have plans tonight."

He looked at me blankly, not understanding, so I continued quietly.

"I'm going out for drinks tonight...w-with Joonmyun and the other...coworkers, so...yeah."

"What."

His face fell, eyes cold and lips pursed in quiet anger.  He looked me up and down once, noting my grey metallic v-neck shirt, black pants ripped in a few subtle places, and perfectly done eyeliner before recognition spread across his face.

"W-Well, you know, I haven't spent time with them o-outside of work much and, you know, it's pretty stressful sometimes a-and they've helped me a lot with my work and I knew that y-you probably wouldn't want to join because you don't really like them s-so I figured you wouldn't want to come but-"

Chanyeol's countenance seemed to get even more harsh with each word that stumbled out of my mouth.  He threw his new hoodie back in the bag and kicked it away from him.

"So you're ditching me for them."

"It's n-not like that, Channie, they are my friends-" I tried to recover.

He interrupted me by swatting the vase of flowers off the table, sending it crashing to the floor, and standing up.

"Don't you remember what they said about me?  About you?  Why would you do this?!" he shouted, fists clenching and unclenching as he failed to control his anger.

"W-W-Well, Dr. Kim explained that-"

"So you're going to talk to him and not me?  So you're going to do what he tells you to do without discussing it with your ing boyfriend?"

I knew that this would happen.  I knew it, but I just wasn't prepared for it.  Chanyeol lunged forwar