“Sometimes you want someone and you want to kiss and be with them, but you can’t because responsibility demands sacrifice.” – Princess Bubblegum

Inspired by: Justin Timberlake's Mirrors

Zelo's point of view

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I failed again.

"What could a mere seventeen year old do?"

"He's too young for that."

"He's not manly enough."

"He can't do it, he's just too weak."

Weak.

All of those words are echoing in my mind right now.

The words of the coordinators, directors, all of the people that could make my career change.

All of them.

I just stormed out of that photostudio, I couldn't stand the people saying those words.

They didn't hurt me.

My concern was what if other young dreamers heard what they are saying to me?

They'd be shattered.

Just like the person standing in front of me..

What happened to that person?

Dark blue hair, large sunken eyes, a smileless mouth.

I soon realize I was looking at a mirror.

Soon the mirror itself was shattered.

Ruby-colored liquid drips from my pale fists.

I don't mind the pain.

It actually reminds me of the sweet tinge of cherry tomatoes.

I could endure this for as long as I want.

The pretend physical person I've become, living my false dream, the dream of another.

The dream that was yours.

And my dream?

The dream of you.

Chan Yanna.

Are you satisfied?

I'm not the person they want me to be.

At least what you wanted me to be, I acomplished it right?

Right?

Answer me. Just one statement will do.

I can almost hear you saying I've done a good job,

almost.

It's okay, I may be suffering in this industry, but this is what you wanted all along.

To be able to give a good life for your son- who is my son now.

Our son.

If you could see his smiles whenever I came home for scarce vacations I take from my busy carrer.

He takes his smile from you.

That smile I only saw once.

The lastthing I saw before you left us.

You said the sweetest words before suddenly taking my temporary happiness away.

A name.

Not my name or yours, but his name.

Seungho's.

Choi Seungho.

Isn't he just perfect?

His smile is the same as yours, rare but sweet.

Mom, dad, and hyung said he only smiled when he sees me on TV or when he comes to visit you.

When I come home, he tells me how you smile when you see him.

At least you get to see him.

When will I get to see you again?

Your smile, those deep hazelnut eyes that I easily got lost in for ten seconds before you closed them and left me.

I even fear you never knew me.

You left before you even got to know my name.

But Seungho says otherwise.

He says you love what I am right now.

I asked him if you were happy about me being an idol, the dream you wanted to reach.

He said yes.

I asked him if you looked the same just like three years ago.

With your black hair that turned brown in the sunshine, those hazelnut eyes I can't get enough, that small nose, those slightly thick lips.

He said no.

You were more beautiful than who you were years ago.

One statement took me aback though.

He said you asked him about me.

You asked how I looked right now.

I said to him that he told you I looked like a walking zombie didn't he?

He said yes. I laughed. But he said I looked like a zombie because I wanted to give him a life that was better and a brighter future, just like  what you wanted for him.

You told him that didn't you?

I asked him that and he said yes, you said I was perfect.

Was.

You only saw me once.

My hair was brown three years ago, I had sunken black eyes,  had tanned skin, I wasn't so tall.

Now my hair is dark blue, my eyes sunk farther, my complexion is way paler, I'm like a walking giant.

I was Choi Junhong when you saw me.

Now I'm Zelo.

I think you like me as Junhong better.

I hope you like me either way.

I'm doing this for you and Seungho.

I miss you Yanna.

I want to see you standing in front of me.

But if you were still alive, it wouldn't be the same.

You'd be the one suffering and not me.

Your hair, I bet, would be dyed another crazy color.

I wouldn't want that. I want the locks you possesed three years ago.

Your eyes would be covered by contact lenses, making them bigger. 

I wouldn't want that. I want the orbs I got lost in and the same eyes that would get smaller whenever you smiled.

You'd be ridden with plastic beauty and you'd be going under the knife. The same thing that they want me to do with my chin.

I wouldn't want that. You're perfect. And my chin?

You think it's perfect. I won't change it.

You'd be a toy of the company, like how I am now.

You'd be underestimated and abused.

I'd rather take everything for you.

Can you see me like how you see Seungho?

I'm just looking at this broken mirror.

I hope I see you tomorrow.

I hope I can hear from you soon.

Talk to me sometimes like how I talk to you.

You love Seungho more than me right?

You talk to him.

Not to me.

He is afterall, your son.

I never realized he could see the dead, speak to them nonetheless.

I'm just a stranger.

A stranger who is doing this for his mother, father, older brother, and son.

And of course, for the love of his life.

I didn't know I could be this strong.

This is the only circumstance I was actually happy that you died.

I can't bear seeing you suffer.

I'll do it for you then.

Goodnight.