The sky is a blur of purple and orange and blue as the sun sets. Minsung smiles, despite herself, always surprised that she can still tell when the sun is setting. She’s leaning on her balcony, which she knows Jay will yell at her for when he comes. He is always getting after her, telling her that she needs to be more careful, that she needs to sit still and be safe.

But Jay just doesn’t understand. The way Minsung sees it, the past five years, she’s been taking care of this apartment and now it’s the apartment’s turn to take care of her. Jay would just laugh and say a building can’t stop her from falling off it, but Minsung rolls her eyes at the simple thought. She loves Jay more than anything, but sometimes he was just so literal, which was something she struggled with - especially now.

And soon enough, there’s his voice, calling out to her. She really has always been a fan of his voice, especially when he speaks English to her, even though she doesn’t know very much of it herself. He calls out her name, but Minsung doesn’t say anything back. Sometimes she likes to entertain the thought that she’s deaf as well. She can’t imagine what it would be like to be so completely cut off from the world.

Jay calls once more and this time Minsung replies with a simple, “Here I am!” which tells him nothing, but she’s all right with it. She can hear Jay walking towards the balcony and she can imagine the look on his face - anger, annoyance, but all the while smiling because Jay always smiles when he sees her.

He’s standing right next to her, but doesn’t say anything. He lets out a sigh and looks at the sky, trying to follow Minsung’s eye line. The sun has almost completely set and Seoul is starting to completely wake up. Jay has always been one for the night life and Seoul was so much better than Seattle in that regard. He remembers when he first met Minsung and how they would go dancing - how he was a much better dancer than her, but she would just laugh and say, “At least I dress better than you.” That was her favourite comeback.

“Minsung-ah, you need to be more careful.” Jay’s voice is low and soft. He’s trying hard to understand things from her point of view, but the way he sees it, she’s being stupid and it’s as simple as that. She turns around, facing him, and smiles. She still has the most beautiful smile Jay has ever seen and even if he wanted to truly be mad at her, he no longer could.

“Fine, fine, if you’re going to be like this. At least come in with me now. It’s gonna start getting cold.” Minsung nods and reaches out to grab Jay’s arm, which he has just placed out for her. The two of them walk into her apartment and into the living room. Jay leaves her on the couch, going to the kitchen to get them both something to drink. Water for her and his own stash of scotch for him. He’s over at her house so much that he started to buy his own liquor to leave there since she never had any of her own.

He brings the drinks back, but instead of sitting down, he just watches her. Jay still finds it so odd. She no longer sits still, her arms reaching around, her hands touching every single thing around her. Before she sat almost complete motionless always, as if any movement she made would disturb the universe. The other difference was that her face used to say so many things as she sat still - her face was the animated part, smiling, her eyes bouncing around, her nose crinkling. Now her face is plain, unreadable. Jay constantly wonders how she is, but is never able to simply ask.

“You know I can hear your breathing, right?” Jay is quickly pulled from his thoughts as he sees a small smile flash across her lips as she speaks. Jay laughs, walking over and sitting down next to her. He hands her her drink, the two toast, and consume.

“Did you remember to take your medication today?” Jay asks, swirling the ice in his cup around and around. Minsung was a lot of things - one of which being forgetful so he felt he had to nag her every day about her medication, among other things. Thankfully Minsung doesn’t mind because she, too, knows how forgetful she is.

“I totally forgot,” she admits. “Let me go get it.”

“No, I can get it, Minnie, don’t worry.” Jay starts to get up, but Minsung uses her good arm to push him back down the best she can.

“I’m fine, Jay. All I do is sit around all day, it’s good for me to get up and do stuff. The doctors say I won’t get used the apartment if I never walk around it.”

“I’m just worried about you, you know that.”

“Then stop worrying.” Her voice is sharp, annoyed, which is quickly regrets. She would be nowhere without Jay and they both know it, but sometimes she just wishes he could stand to leave her alone. It’s been five weeks; she’s been home for two. She’s not dead and she’s not gonna lie around as if she is.

She walks out of the living and into the kitchen, holding onto the wall as she walks. She thinks she put her medication in the cupboard above the microwave, but when she opens it up, they aren’t there. Minsung sighs and tries the one next it, but they aren’t there either. Thankfully, they’re in the next one and she pulls out a pill, being sure to put the bottle right back where she had grabbed it out.

Minsung turns around, proud of herself, and starts to make her way back to the couch, the brightest smile beaming across her face. She hope’s she looking right at Jay - she wants him to see how proud of herself she is.

When she falls, four and half steps later, the sound of her cast hitting the hardwood floors bounces around her ears. She hears Jay gasp and run over towards she. She hears everything so well it’s almost as if she can see it. But she can’t. She can’t and she never will again.

Jay comes and helps helps her up, pulling her towards the couch and they sit down. He leans her into him and runs his hands down her hair, petting her. He feels her tears on his shoulder, but he doesn’t have the heart to look at her. For the smallest second, Jay is envious of Minsung - he wished he didn’t have to see the sadness upon her face.

Minsung had stopped smoking soon after she moved to Seoul, but once she was released from the hospital, she started back again. Jay finds it annoying and hates it when she does it around him, but the one time he brought it up, she just laughed and said, “If I was going to die young, I would have already.” Then she took a long drag and did her best at blowing it in his face - although she was a bit to the right.

Jay is standing behind her on the balcony as she smokes. He doesn’t know what to do with her anymore. She’s been his best friend for three years and he loves her. She was one of the few people from Korea he kept in contact with when he went back to America. She supported him more than anyone else ever had - and he wants to do the same, he just doesn’t know how.

Minsung turns around, facing him, and Jay looks up. She’s finished her cigarette and is standing completely still. Jay waits for her to say something, but she doesn’t right away.

“I’m sorry about all of this,” she whispers out. Jay opens his mouth to protest, but she goes on before he has a chance. “I know I’m a burden and you have things you have to do and songs to promote and you need to work on your dancing some more, Jay; I was almost better than you last time we went out.” She lets out a small laugh. “You’ve got girls to seduce and it’s hard when you have to always be watching over me. It’s like having a kid, only I’m not as adorable or fun.”

Jay smiles, despite himself. He doesn’t want to argue with her right now, so he simply stands up and walks over to her. He puts his arm around her shoulder and leans his head into her neck. His lips are almost against her skin as he speaks. “I think you’re very adorable, Minsung.” And Minsung feels the words against her skin, feels them touch her and shivers spread down her spine.

She wishes she could look at Jay, but instead she just reaches up and touches the side of his face, his skin so soft and smooth. He really is the best thing she’s ever had.

Minsung hears her phone ringing, but when she remembers it’s the ringtone Jay set for her mother, she makes no attempt to answer it. It’s too early, really, and Minsung prefers to not talk to her at all. Before the accident, her mother was bad enough, calling almost every day to make sure that she was eating enough, that she was paying her rent, that she wasn’t sleeping around with boys. After the accident and once she had gone back home to Busan, it is as if her mother had to call every twenty minutes to check up on her.

She rolls over in her bed, surprised when she feels Jay next to her. She forgot that he had stayed over the night before. She really needs to just buy him his own bed. Each time he stays over, she tries to get him to sleep on the couch, but he always ends up in bed with her, complaining that the couch isn’t comfortable enough for him.

Reaching out, she feels his chest and sighs. The least he could do would be to keep his shirt on. She just hopes that he kept his pants on this time - although she isn’t about to check. She whispers out his name, wondering if he’s still awake, but he neither moves nor makes a sound. Minsung wishes to go back to sleep but knows that once she’s awake, she’s up for good.

She pulls the covers off her and stands up, grasping the wall as she gains her balance. She uses the wall as she walks and finds she way to the bathroom. When she’s done in the bathroom, she comes out and hears a laugh from Jay, followed by him saying, “Umma, I am eating well, I promise! Thank you for watching my latest performance. I tried to do my best, thank you.”

Minsung’s eyes widen as she realizes he’s not talking to his own mother, but rather hers. She tries to slink back into the bathroom, but Jay notices her and says, “Oh, here is she is, Umma! Let me give her the phone.” Minsung waves her arms frantically, trying to tell Jay not to give her the phone, but he does anyway.

Taking in a few breaths before she speaks, Minsung eventually ventures a weak, “Yawbosehyo, Umma,” which is quickly followed by her mother rapidly firing off questions - have you eaten yet today? Why is Jay at your house so early in the morning? Are you two dating yet? When am I going to get any grandkids? How are you feeling? Is your arm all right? Her mother doesn’t even pause to give Minsung a chance to answer.

Minsung answers as simply as she can, telling her mother she is fine, is eating enough, and that her and Jay are only friends. Minsung loves her mother, she does, but she just does not love talking to her.

When her mother brings up talk about Minsung moving back home, she quickly makes up an excuse to hang up the phone. Minsung left home for a reason and there is absolutely no part of her that wishes to go back. Her mother tells her she loves her and then hangs up before Minsung has a chance to say it back. She’s covered in guilt as she slowly places her phone down and sits on her bed. She really is a bad daughter, isn’t she?

Before she has a chance to dwell on the thought, Jay is calling out her name, telling her that he’s making breakfast to satisfy her mother. Minsung smiles and makes her way out of the room and to the kitchen.

Minsung will never be used to the food Jay makes her eat. It’s all American stuff and she is so used to traditional Korean foods. The first time Jay made her waffles, she tried to eat them with a side of rice and kimchee, but they didn’t go well together. It didn’t help, either, that Jay just sat there laughing at her the whole time.

Minsung is glad that she doesn’t struggle with eating. It’s not hard for her hands to find even without sight. The biggest problem happened two days ago when they were at a restaurant and Minsung kept accidentally placing her hand in the kimchee that was next to her. Even when Jay moved it away, her hand found its way back to it.

Today, though, there are no problems and the two of them talk in low voices about Jay’s new music. Minsung likes to make fun of him, saying that he was so much better when he was a member of 2PM. At first this annoyed Jay, but when he found her one day listening to his cover of Nothing On You, he no longer cared.

“You going into work today?” Jay asks once they are finished. He starts grabbing the dishes and taking them into the kitchen, turning on the water and rinsing them off.

“Yeah, I think so. I might as well go in and quit sooner than later so they can start looking for someone new if they haven’t already.”

“Minsung-ah, you can still work there. They aren’t going to fire you. You’re the best they have.”

“Jay, Jay, Jay,” Minsung sighs. “An SM stylist that can’t see? That doesn’t make any sense at all. It might work out okay for a bit, but then I’ll send out SNSD to do a stage in plastic bags instead of dresses or something else equally cray and horrible.”

“Nothing will be worse than SHINee in those skinny jeans for Juliette,” Jay retorts.

“You take that back, Park Jaebeom! Those boys were so popular in that style. They have their own SHINee style and everything, Jay, unlike you who has nothing~”

Jay looks over and sees a large smile across her face. She always has the biggest smiles whenever she makes fun of Jay, which is the only reason he lets her get away with it so much. “Either way, Minnie, I still don’t think you need to quit, but it’s your choice. I guess now I can hire you to be my stylist.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea, Oppa. I’m sure a plastic bag is nicer than a lot of your clothes anyway.”

“Yah! At least I’m not Taec. That boy is the one who really needs a personal stylist.”

Jay is happy to hear a loud laugh escape from Minsung’s lips. “You have no idea how many times I’ve seen him and wanted to rip his clothes off - and not because I’m a crazed fan girl. Do you still talk to him?”

“Sometimes, but not too much. It’s weird with all of them. Isn’t it odd how you can be so close to someone one minute and then the next it’s as if you don’t exist to them?”

Minsung nods, although she’s not sure if Jay is looking at her or not. She doesn’t have the voice, though, to say yes aloud. But she knows all too well - and it’s something really wishes she didn’t. After Jay doesn’t say anything in reply for a few minutes, Minsung stands up and says, “I’m gonna go shower and get ready. Now don’t think just because I can’t see you I won’t know if you’re creeping on me while I’m in the shower, so no peeking, Jay Park!”

Jay laughs and watches as she walks off, only to remember that he needs to go back to his place and shower himself. He has a meeting with his label and although they’ve been forgiving considering everything that’s happened, he can tell their patience is running thin.

He skips - although he will deny that he ever skips - over to Minsung’s room. He opens the door, not thinking, and is greeted by a Minsung with only her bra on. Thankfully, she’s turned around and doesn’t notice him, so Jay swiftly turns out of the room and calls out, “Minsung-ah, I have to head to mine. I’ll see you later.”

She replies quickly with an all right and Jay lets out a sigh of relief, hoping that she hadn’t in fact known he was there. It isn’t like he hasn’t seen her before, but each of the other times didn’t turn out to well. Jay calls out one more time, reminding her to call if she needs anything, but his only response is the sound of the shower being .

Jay feels bad about leaving, but knows he doesn’t really have any other choice. As he’s walking out, he pulls out his phone and dials her number. He knows she won’t answer it, but hopefully once she’s out of the shower, the phone will alter her - in a very annoying and high pitched voice - that she has a voicemail.

“Sorry about rushing out on you, Sunggie, I forgot about a meeting I had and going in with the same clothes I wore yesterday probably won’t give off the best impression. Good luck today, though, and I mean what I said. You would still be amazing - seeing or not. But yeah. Um, that’s all. I’ll see you later, my favourite dongsaeng.” Jay pauses and then with the funniest voice he can make - which is really just his voice a lot higher than normal - he tells her, “I love youuuu!” and quickly hangs up the phone, realizing he’s never actually said those words to her before - even though he does and always has.

Jay shakes his head and tells himself not to worry about it, and instead realizes he needs to worry on how late he is and how he’s totally going to be end up kicked out of another company and both Minsung and him are going to be jobless and end up homeless.