The two-hour long bus ride was torture for Zelo. He kept having mental images of Mirinae crying over her mother’s dead body. Finally, he got off the bus in a run-down neighbourhood. This was as far as he knew. He cast his eyes around and saw a few shady-looking guys on the corner. He went up to them and pulled his mask down.

“Excuse me, do you know where Ms. Im lives?”

They sneered at Zelo and sized him up.

“Who wants to know?” One of the guys asked.

Zelo didn’t have time for this.

“Please, she’s dying,” he told them.

“Im is dying? I knew she was sick but…” Another said

Zelo nodded quickly.

“I need to see her. Please tell me where she lives.”

The guy gave Zelo directions much to the disapproval of his friends then Zelo hurried off and located Mirinae’s house. It was actually one of the better looking ones on the street. Maybe it was the tinkling wind chimes or the pretty flower garden. Zelo walked up to the door and knocked. He heard footsteps then a quiet voice asked,

“Who is it?”

“It’s JunHong.”

The door flew open and to reveal a pale and skinny Mirinae.

“JunHong! What are you doing here?”

Zelo immediately pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He held her out at arm’s length and looked at her. She had bags under her eyes and she looked like she would pass out any minute.

“You didn’t think I would just let you go through this alone?”

She looked up at him and smiled gratefully.

“Come in,” she said, stepping aside.

Zelo ducked his head so it wouldn’t hit the low doorframe and stepped inside. It was cheerful. The walls were painted blue and yellow and there were pretty framed paintings of meadows and gardens along the walls.

“My mom did those,” Mirinae said, quietly.

“How…how is she?” Zelo asked.

Mirinae shrugged and hugged herself.

“She’s sleeping right now…she was ok today, well, as ok as she can be.”

“And you?”

“What does it matter how I am, JunHong?”

“You can’t pass out if you’re trying to take care of your mom and you look like you’re about to.”

Mirinae rolled her eyes. “I’m fine.”

There was a small sound of movement from further within the house and Mirinae immediately ran off down a hallway. Zelo followed her into what he assumed was her mother’s bedroom. Mirinae poured a glass of water from a jug on the bedside table and helped her mother who was lying in bed to drink it. When she was finished her mother looked over and saw Zelo.

“And who do we have here?” she asked. Her voice was small but Zelo could hear the kindness in it.

Zelo quickly bowed and introduced himself.

“I’m Choi JunHong.”

“Ah, JunHong. I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet the boy my daughter won’t stop talking about.” Ms. Im said smiling.

“Mom!” Mirinae said, surprised. Her face turned red and she turned away from Zelo who couldn’t help but smile.

“She told me you were tall but I thought she was just exaggerating. How tall are you, JunHong?” Ms. Im asked.

“I’m 184 centimetres now,” Zelo told her.

Ms. Im looked impressed. “And such a cute face to go with it,” she said, “Miri, if you don’t marry him then I will.”

Mirinae buried her face in her hands.

“Mom…really…I’m going to make some tea!” Mirinae hurried away and her mother chuckled.

For someone who was dying Zelo thought she looked quite content. He could see that she was obviously sick on the outside but her smile and happiness were genuine. She gestured for Zelo to come closer and he moved to her bedside.

“Thank you for taking care of my Mirinae,” she said, “She doesn’t trust people very easily so I know you must be special. And I know she can be feisty too, how do you even put up with her? I’m sure you’ve suffered injuries from her…”

Zelo laughed as he remembered that time Mirinae had punched him in the arm.

“She is pretty tough…but I like it. It’s my pleasure to take care of her, Ms. Im. I’ve never met anyone like her and I know I never will.”

Ms. Im nodded and smiled at Zelo.

“From what I’ve heard you’re quite special too,” Ms. Im leaned a little towards Zelo, “She especially likes the dimple in your right cheek.”

Zelo tried not blush and it was even harder when Mirinae walked into the room with tea. She took one look at Zelo’s face and groaned.

“Mom, what did you tell him?”

“Nothing he shouldn’t already know,” Ms. Im said smiling secretively.

Mirinae shook her head and gave JunHong a cup of tea and helped her mother to drink hers. Mirinae got a chair for Zelo and they sat at Ms. Im’s bedside.

Zelo could see where Mirinae got her strength from. Ms. Im was the most cheerful person he had ever met that was literally on her deathbed. She told funny stories about her childhood to Zelo and slipped in little things that Mirinae said about him making Zelo laugh and making Mirinae’s face a permanent shade of red. When it started to get dark Ms. Im told Zelo he should start home as the neighbourhood wasn’t safe at day, much less at night.

Zelo promised Ms. Im and Mirinae he would visit again and of course he did. Every day for the next week whenever he had the time he was there with Mirinae helping her to take care of her mom.

A week after after Zelo’s first visit Ms. Im held his hand and pulled him close.

“JunHong,” she said, “promise me you’ll continue to take care of Mirinae when I’m gone?”

Zelo almost started to cry but he up his tears and nodded firmly.

“I promise you, I will.”

Ms. Im nodded and smiled contentedly.

***

The next day Zelo actually skipped practice to go to Mirinae’s house. After what Ms. Im had asked him yesterday…he just knew he needed to be there today. When Zelo knocked on the door it took longer than normal for Mirinae to answer and he believed he knew why.

When she opened the door she didn’t say anything and she didn’t look at him. She just stood there looking at the ground with her hands hanging at her sides. All Zelo could do was hold her in his arms as she cried and cried. Her knees started to wobble so Zelo took her over to the couch where she could sit with his arms surrounding her. They didn’t talk. Mirinae tried but she couldn’t get any coherent words out past her sobs. Zelo shushed her and laid her head on his chest. Eventually she fell asleep from the exhaustion of crying so much. Zelo sat wondering what he was going to do. There was no way he was leaving Mirinae in this state but everyone would have a heart attack if he didn’t show up back at the dorm soon. He reached into his pocket for the cell phone that YongGuk gave him whenever he left the building and dialled YongGuk’s number.

“Hello? JunHong? Are you almost back?”

“Hyung, Mirinae’s mom died…”

“What? Is Mirinae ok?”

“No, she’s terrible. I can’t leave her, hyung. Please let me stay with her.”

“JunHong, I really wish I could but that’s not my decision. CEO is a really fair man but he won’t allow you.”

“Hyung, she’s suffering.”

“Bring her here,” YongGuk said.

“I can’t just tell her –”

“That’s the only way,” YongGuk told Zelo, “You guys can sleep on the cot in the living room.”

Zelo sighed. “Ok, I’ll see what she says…”

He hung up and sighed again. He couldn’t inconvenience Mirinae like that; it wasn’t fair. He should be staying with her in her own home where she was comfortable. His phone vibrated in his pocket and Zelo answered.

“Hyung?”

“CEO said you can stay but…this is a big chance. If you blow it you won’t be able to see Mirinae again.”

“How would I blow it?”

“If she ended up pregnant for example…”

“That won’t happen! Especially not now.”

“Ok, JunHong, but be careful.”

Zelo said goodbye and hung up. He must have fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes again it was dark. He yawned and felt Mirinae stirring against him.

“JunHong? You’re still here?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m staying with you tonight.”

“Really?”

Zelo kissed the top of her head. “Yes, really.”

“Thank you so much, JunHong.”

She started crying again soon and Zelo held her tightly and whispered comforting words to her. It continued like that throughout the night. Mirinae would cry whenever her sadness welled up inside her too much and Zelo would comfort her.

The next morning when Zelo woke up he was in Mirinae’s bed and she was sleeping next to him. He didn’t know how they got there but that was the least of his worries right now. He looked at Mirinae and how frail she appeared. He traced his finger along her prominent collarbones and sighed quietly. Mirinae stirred in her sleep then slowly opened her eyes. She gave Zelo a weak smile then kissed his cheek.

“You have to go today, don’t you?” Mirinae asked.

Zelo nodded. “Do you want to come with me?”

Mirinae shook her head. “I have to do stuff to organize my mom’s funeral.” She looked like she was about to cry again but she held it back. “I’ll come by later?”

“I’ll be waiting,” Zelo said. He kissed her and reluctantly left the house to return to the dorms. He was immediately bombarded with questions about Mirinae as soon as he saw his hyungs but he shook them off and told them he needed some time alone. After sitting on his bed for a few minutes there was a knock and YongGuk came in. Zelo glanced at him then stared back off into space.

“JunHong?”

Zelo looked at YongGuk and raised his eyebrows.

“How is Mirinae?”

“Terrible.”

“And you?”

“I feel like I’m the worst boyfriend she could ever have.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Come on, hyung. Whether we call ourselves that or not that’s what we are. She’s my girlfriend and I’m her boyfriend but how can I even call myself her friend if I can never be there for her when she needs me and even if I am there I can never stay. Hyung, this is so hard. I love her so much but I hardly see her. The trouble is I love performing too. I know it’s what I was meant to do but it’s pulling me away from Mirinae.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this but the truth is this is what your life is going to be like for the next few years. You just need to find some sort of balance and make sure Mirinae is ok with it. Things are harder right now because she’s two hours away and you have a busy schedule. When she comes back to train it’ll be easier. You can make it through this; I know you can.”

Zelo nodded and looked at his oldest hyung.

“Thanks.”

YongGuk smiled and ruffled Zelo’s hair.

“I believe in you, JunHong.”