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"Spoke"

*Thoughts*

Chapter Fifteen: The Deal
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"Sulli..."

"Just let me be, Krystal," she sniffed into a tissue and waited for her soul to take a breath from its painful pounding. She was having trouble breathing; the swelling of her heart was getting in the way. Her whole body ached with something she wasn't even sure she could identify much less put to words. It just hurts.

Maria could feel her eyes well up with tears, feeling her friend's pain even without knowing the source. No, that wasn't true. She knew the source. Lee Taemin. Only he could make Sulli cry like this. "Sulli..."

"Krystal," Jonghyun stopped her as she reached for her friend, curled up on the bed in a fetus position. "Give her some time," his eyes filled with sympathy for the young woman who sobbed her sorrows out loud. "Just let her cry it out for a bit."

The blonde beauty turned to him. "But..."

He shook his head. "Trust me," and meant it.

Krystal nodded her head slowly, looking back to her best friend of more years that she cared to recall. She sat down gently by on the bed, by her side, and said nothing, simply being there.

*Why?* Sulli kept asking herself. *Why did this have to happen? Just when we were finally making our way....* She cried harder, even as her mind told her heart to stop lying. *Stupid, stupid, stupid. The fact that he slept with Luna should have told you the truth of the situation. Taemin isn't shallow. He doesn't just climb into bed with anyone for no reason other than lust. Why did you let yourself believe that it meant nothing?*

Krystal's heart ached. She knew pain, raw exposed pain when she saw it. And there it was, staring at her in the face in the form of her best friend. And she ached for her.

Jonghyun watched Sulli silently, feeling his own heart crack for her. They had been close once, not nearly as close as she had been with Taemin, but definitely close enough for him to hurt for her. He felt torn. More than anything, he wanted things the way it had been once, before everything had gone so wrong. Sulli was a friend, he hates seeing her hurt. But Luna, she was like a sister. And more than anything in this world, he knew that Luna wanted to be with Taemin.

Yet, Luna had been willing to give up everything for him and let him be with Sulli. Luna loved Taemin. Sulli loved Taemin. Now the question is, who does Taemin love?

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Amber sat down on the ground by Key's side. She didn't know what to say, what to do. Key had changed. Changed into someone that had come into their own. It was... confusing. "Key?"

"Yeah?" he answered, never taking his eyes off the door that remained shut. He had a responsibility. He had a responsibility toward Luna. He had a promise to her, made a deal with her. He was in this together with her. He wasn't going to abandon her now; he'll stand by any decision she made... even if it meant giving up Isabel.

"I'm sorry."

He turned to stare at her. "What for?"

Eyes shifting away, she bit her lip. "For being selfish," she nodded. "You were going to give up everything, everything that meant anything to you for me...for my family. And I put your believes, your values below my own. I'm sorry." She gave a small weak laugh. "That was pretty prima donna of me."

Giving her the lopsided smile that made her heart skip a beat, she bumped her gently with his shoulder. "And I'm sorry that I ... that I snapped at you." He shook his head knocking a lock for his hair loose. "I worried about her. For the past month and a half, she's all I think about and worry about. And now..."

"She's going to pull through," she assured him, even knowing in her heart that Key was right. Taemin wouldn't force Luna into anything; it's not in his nature. And Minho... Minho won't gainsay Taemin, even if it meant saving Taemin's child. "Have faith."

"In what?" he asked, resignedly. He was tired, too tired to be nervous about being in her presence. Funny, he hadn't really felt nervous with Isabel, not since his 'death.' Had it been before, he'd be stammer and tripping over himself. Now...

"In goodness," she replied, tentatively resting her head on his shoulder. "In the power of love."

"What love would that be? Luna's love for Taemin is what's going to kill her. Taemin's love for Sulli is what drove Luna to this. Sulli's love for Taemin is breaking her heart right now. So, I ask you, which love and what kind of love should I have faith in?"

Amber sighed. He asked in that monotone that he uses when he was asking a serious question. There was no recrimination in there. No bitterness, no sadness, no anything. Just plain... questioning. "In the love one has for one's child. Luna doesn't want to kill her baby, even she has..." She mentally slapped herself but then thought better. It's only been a day since she's learned the truth. Habits are going to be hard to break but she'll start now. "Luna has maternal instincts, every woman does. Have faith in her love for her child."

He accepted that for a moment. "I hope it is stronger than her memories of her past life."

Amber couldn't help adding mentally, *Me too.*

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They sat there, silent as a tomb, simply replaying the last few minutes in their mind. The Mexican Standoff has begun and both are holding no weapons at the moment. And while they both knew that physical attacks were not the game of the day, the emotional wounds they're about to inflict upon one another could be fatal.

Minho turned to her, deciding to make the first move, after all he was supposed to be the warrior here. From everything he's managed to gather since their past lives were revealed to them, Minhoknew that he was a general, a damn good one too. Generals are strategists, good at these chess board games. So here goes nothing. He only hoped it worked. "You know, for such a selfless act it’s pretty selfish."

Luna blinked blankly at him. The disgruntle look on his face made her nervous. Of the others, Luna always thought that Minho was the most enigmatic of the three, the most difficult to read. "Am I supposed to understand what that means?"

He made a face at her. "It’s just that..." he sighed and looked out the window, it was easier not to look at those beguiling blue eyes. "Dying is easy. Living is hard."

She eyed him carefully, not trusting his tactic. "I hate to be the one to tell you this, Minho, but dying is not easy. Dying is very hard. But you know what's harder?" She had to play on his sense of morality, his love for Taemin and Amber. Most of all, she had to play on his memories of Ava. "Making the decision to die. Making the decision that you are going to kill your own flesh and blood as well. That's hard."

"No," he shook his head firmly. "Living is definitely harder. Once you're dead, you don't hurt anymore. But living, you keep hurting, you keep remembering, you keep asking yourself, 'was there anything I could have done to change that?' That's the hard part. Not knowing."

Stunned, Luna sat there silently for a moment. This was the first time she has ever considered it. "Is that what you ask yourself after I died?"

Minho nodded slowly, turning to look at her. He needed her to see the truth of it. He needed her to see it so he could use it. "Yeah, everyday up to the end when Kris' troops overtook the palace."

For the first time since her arrival at Roswell, she felt a connection to him. Minho, the cold loner, understood what she had asked herself time and again after she remembered. *But there wasn't anything I could have done different then. And nothing I can do different now.* "If it is any consolation, I didn't die in vain. I got to see Taemin live."

"And what good did that do when he gave up hope," he retorted softly. There was no bitterness there, just a simple statement of fact. "You shouldn't have done what you did. We would have found another way."

"No time," she replied, her eyes far away in another life. "You think I didn't consider it all? I did. But I was young, frightened, desperate. And your guard..." she smirked, finding amusement in this for the first time. "They were pathetic."

"Don't I know it," Minho rolled his eyes remembering part of it. "They weren't the best, were they? Cause we needed the best on the field." It had not been a hard decision then though it haunted him later.

"Yeah, I understood that."

Minho nodded, willingly shouldering some of the responsibility of what happened that day. He... Rath should have known better. Queen Ava may have been petite in size, but she was not some demur helpless thing. She was strong, powerful, willful at times and loyal to a fault. Everything a queen should be... and still is. "Don't do this, Luna."

"I don't have a choice." Closing her eyes, she took a deep shuttering breath and forced the ache in her stomach to subside. The baby was having a hard time breathing too. It was becoming harder and harder to hide the constant pain. She had to get them to leave soon, it was going to become so much more obvious in very little time.

"Luna?" his brows coming together with concern as she paled even as he watched. "Are you all right?"

Forcing her eyes open, she nodded stiffly.

Reaching over, he touched the back of his hand to her forehead just before she jerked away from him but not before he felt the excruciating heat. "Oh my god."

"I'm fine," she bit out.

"No, you're not."

"Minho, listen to me..."

"No," he shook his head at her. *Time to play hardball.* "No more of this."

"Minho..."

He stared at her, silencing her with the icy sharpness of his glaze. The kind of pain she must be going through combined with the kind of her pain her memories must bring her every night... How does she do it? How does she live with the kind of nightmares? He could only remember a part of it, granted the important part, and already he felt as if he would be sick to his stomach and... He didn't want to think about that any more.

It was time to play the military general that he had lived as in his past life. *Forgive me Taemin, but I'm doing this for you.* "I don't think you're bring fair to Taemin," he pronounced quietly.

"What?" her eyes wide with disbelief.

"You're being completely selfish about this."

"Really?" she inquired, sarcasm dripping from every inclination of her head. "Yes, I'm being selfish cause I want him alive and happy and breathing and..."

"This is his child too."

"Yes, I know," nodding her head, her limp curls bouncing tired on her head. "But it resides in my body and I will decide what is best for my child."

"Oh don't give me that it's-my-body-it's-my-decision crap," Minho growled.

Luna couldn't help it, "Do you talk like this to Krystal?"

"Shut up!" he said without any heat. "The point is, Taemin should have a say in this as well. In fact, Taemin should have a say in a lot of it."

"I don't know where you're going with this..."

"You deprived him of the right to decide for himself." There was a moment of silence as Luna absorbed it. "You also denied the chance to know exactly why you do the thing you do."

Her eyes flashed for a moment. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Meaning I seriously doubt you did your best to 'help' Taemin remember everything there is to know about his past life with you," he replied angrily. He needed that anger, need the blaze of red to cover up the tug of guilt that he was already beginning to feel in his heart. "I wonder how interested Taemin would be about the events that led up to the last days of our lives."

"No," her denial came at a whisper at she stared at him. "Why would you want to put him through that kind of nightmare? We were at war, we saw people die every day. Why would you want to put him through that?"

Minho leaned toward her, his expression heartless and grime. "Because he should know. He should remember what he was, who he was, how he was. How else is he ever going to appreciate this gift you've decided to shove down his throat? How can he know about this great sacrifice you are willing to make for his love if he doesn't remember?"

Luna shook her head slowly, watching his eyes. The eyes were always the first things to give one's lies away. But the steadiness of those hard dark eyes made her insides quiver. *He'd tell Taemin* The thought of Taemin remembering, remembering everything and still turning from her.... "You can't tell him. It'll destroy him to know."

"Will it?" he asked, careful to mask the uncertainly he was already beginning to feel. "Maybe he can learn from his past mistakes? But then, maybe he will remember you? Maybe he'll remember what he gave up for you, what you gave up for him?"

"For what purpose can that possibly serve?" she shouted at him, letting slip her temper. "It can't change the past and it can't..."

"The past is the past but the now is here today!" Minho said getting up slowly, his hands carefully resting at his side. "And it would give him a choice. He'll know the truth of everything and he'll get to decide for himself. But that's what you're really afraid of isn't it? You won't know for certain then, will you? Will Taemin stay with you because he owes you? Or will he stay because he loves you?"

Shaking her head slowly, she tried to convince herself that Minho is bluffing. "It wouldn't matter. I'd be long gone by then."

He nodded his head slowly. "You're right, it wouldn't hurt you one bit, would it? But Taemin, he'll be left with all the questions. 'If I had loved her like I once did, would she be alive today?' Or maybe he'll go with my favorite, 'Was there something, anything, I could have done to save her?' Which one do you think he'd go with Luna?" He watched her, her lips devoid of color now, horror clouding those blue eyes.

A part of her, that part of her that still clung on to the miniscule hope that she could be loved, wanted it; it wanted Taemin to know and remember. But the bigger part, the part that remember the mission she had embarked upon so many months ago knew that she couldn't let him know. It would kill her to know he suffered with all the haunting questions that burned in her mind nightly. Taemin couldn't handle the guilt, she didn't want him to. "Minho. You can't."

"Can't I?" he asked softly, turning toward the door. He paused, glancing over his shoulders, "Or are you proposing to allow him a choice?"

She shivered with fear. "What do you mean?"

"Give him a choice." He watched her shake her head slowly, denying it. "Let us help with the baby and give Taemin the choice of staying or leaving."

Air seemed able to enter her lungs, her heart had contracted to a point where every breath was painful. "What are you saying? If I don't let you heal the baby, you'll tell Taemin what you remember?"

"Yeah," he answered honestly, feeling the yank at his heart. "I'll tell him about your promises, my promises, his promises to you. I'll tell him about the battle, your death, his death, the death of his people."

"You wouldn't," stating it firmly. "You love him too much."

Minho nodded his head, wondering at his own balls of steel. "Yeah, that's why I won't keep it from him," turning about, he opened the door and stepped out..

Luna felt the blood in her veins freeze in terror. *He won't. He couldn't. But this is Minho... this is Rath. He would and he could. A year's worth of planning and execution, it was all going to be for naught. But Taemin... He mustn't find out. He mustn't know about the battles and deaths. He would break his heart. He mustn't remember my death, the death of our baby.... It would kill him.* Scrambling out of the bed, she tripped over the sheets and blankets as she rushed for the door to stop the nightmare from commencing.

"Taemin," Michael called overly loud.

"Minho," Tess crashed to the ground, her knees unwilling to support her weight as the pain in her abdomen commanded all her attention for a moment. She forced the pain down. She waited until Minho turned to her. On her hands her knees, she pleaded with him. "I'm begging... please."

"Luna..." Alex said as he went to her but she didn't pay him attention as she continued to stare at Minho, eyes wide, lips trembling with fear.

Hardening his heart, Minho turned his back to her. "Taemin, I have something I need to talk to you about."

Feeling her heart stop, she grabbed at the only option he left her. "You win."

Turning, Minho pinned her with his eyes as Taemin came around her to drop to his knees beside Luna, trying to help the girl up. But Luna was more concern with other matters. "We have a deal?"

Taemin, Amber, Key and Sheriff Minjong watched the two with abated breaths. None of them knew what the deal was but it wasn't important at the moment. They knew what side Minho was on and they knew that any deal the two make would mean that Luna would end up living and that was what was important now. Any consequence from that can be dealt with later.

Luna nodded her head slowly, trying to keep her vision clear as the radiating pain pushed pass her sheer force of will that had been keeping it under wraps. Grasping out, "Deal," before she curled up into a ball on the ground and allow the cold unconsciousness take slowly throw its dark cloak around her. The last thing she remembers was Minho as he dropped by her side, helping Taemin carry her. "I never knew you were so cruel," never realizing she had said the word out loud. 

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