"I met him the other day."

"You did? Why?"

"I had to."

"But... she doesn't know."

"No."

"You're not going to tell her?"

"How could I?"

"You know you're risking everything for this?"

"It was going to happen. I told you I can't stop this."

"...What are you going to do now?"

"What I said I would do."

"There has to be another way."

"No, it'll be better for the both of us this way in the end. You know I'm right."

"..."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

It had been almost two months since Taeyeon met Tiffany and twenty-seven days since she had let Tiffany come to her room and had ended up revealing her drawings to someone for the first time.

But who's counting? She wondered.                

In front of her, a graph and several curved lines had been drawn on the board. A professor was droning on about a topic that Taeyeon had long learned in a previous class of hers.

"The Intermediate Value Theorem says..."

She warily watched the man in the suit add some more lines onto the graph.

"...From this picture, we can see that the slopes are equal."

See, Taeyeon thought glumly. Math always makes sense.

Twenty-seven days it took for her to finally acknowledge that there was something wrong. It was things like her also unknowingly committing to memory the date that she and Tiffany had met, even if it had technically been her first day of school in Seoul, so it shouldn’t have been too hard to remember. But then, thinking about how pretty the girl looked when she smiled or feeling bad whenever Tiffany seemed discouraged by her attempts to speak to her.

It was okay, at first. There was no denying that Tiffany was the type of girl boys would find attractive, and, as far as Taeyeon could tell, she didn’t like studying too much, but she wasn’t struggling in any of her classes either. She was intelligent and charming, two traits that other girls could come to envy. It was only when she suddenly thought of Tiffany whenever she saw something pink, the girl’s utmost favorite color, or when she wished it were Tiffany hearing someone chattering down the hallways of their dorm building that she realized that her attraction to the girl did not stem from mere jealousy of who she was. Even as she was steadily gaining more acquaintances and new friends now as well, Tiffany was her closest without a single question. And that dream she kept having for the last couple of nights.

The dream where they had met together in the middle of nowhere, and Tiffany had done nothing but stare at Taeyeon with eyes she couldn’t decipher. Eyes that made her heartbeat erratic and way too fast. After the first time, she had woken up, drenched in sweat in bed, and had to take a midnight stroll to calm herself.

Why did she feel like Tiffany Hwang's feelings toward her were something that she couldn't quite describe…? And how come there wasn’t a single cell in her body that seemed to be remotely shocked?

Taeyeon became so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear her voice being called.

"Taeyeon-ah?"

She was pulled suddenly out of her daze. Glancing upwards, she found the professor peering down at her.

"Class has ended."

Immediately, Taeyeon stood up, blushing, and began to gather her books while bowing. "Sorry, gyohsoonim."

She left quickly. This had almost happened in another class, too.

Was there no choice but to confront Tiffany about the problem?

Involuntarily, she shook her head at herself.

You're going crazy, Kim Taeyeon.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jessica was examining the papers filled with design sketches while her untouched sandwich rested on the plate next to her. She tapped the blunt end of the pencil lightly on her chin and crossed her legs.

"Jessica-unnie!"

A freshman girl waving a flimsy paper in the air ran up to her.

Jessica put down her pencil and pushed away her own work. She smiled at her junior. "Yes? Do you need something?"

The girl suddenly looked shy. "Could you look over my design? I need another opinion on it."

She gave a reassuring smile. "Sure, hand it over."

Despite being only a second-year student at her school, Jessica had already been praised numerous times by her teachers on the creativity and skill of her designs. Some of her amateur sketches of clothing had actually been made, and a local model had even worn her outfit. Working under a part-time internship for the year had greatly boosted her experience. Amongst the first-years, girls often went to Jessica or one of her classmates when they were just beginning to learn the basics of fashion design.

Sooyoung joked that Jessica should try making some clothes for her to wear, but Jessica always dismissed the idea, claiming she wasn't at that level yet. They saw each other often because the school was fairly small. Both Jessica and Sooyoung had decided they would be better fit at an arts school rather than the normal college setting.

Jessica scanned the pencil sketch of the dress adorned on the faint outline of a woman.

"Pretty good," she said after looking at it for a few more seconds. "But it seems a little plain. Maybe if you add something else, like a simple belt, to the dress, it’ll have more of a flare to it?"

The girl nodded eagerly. "Okay, I’ll try that. Thanks!"

"No problem."

She watched the girl run off to a table with her friends and chatter excitedly to them, gesturing to her paper. They were probably all in her class.

Jessica shook her head and smiled. The newcomers always had the most enthusiasm.

Not that she didn’t have any. She loved what she was doing, but she just didn’t express it well.

According to Yuri, she had "confidence", so it was fine. She always got the feeling that Yuri admired that part of her. Her apparent self-confidence in everything that she did. It was clear that she was more mature than Yuri, but that was a given since almost everyone could look mature next to that hyper ball of energy.

But either way, no one knew Jessica like Yuri, and it wasn’t just because they had been dating for several months now. Actually, their history went far back before their college days. Before she had moved around so often because of her father’s company, back when her family lived in a typical and cheap apartment, she had met Yuri.

"Jessica? That’s your name?" A little girl with wide eyes and long, jet-black hair poked young Jessica’s cheek.

Jessica’s younger self recoiled in surprise. "Hey! You can’t do that!"

"But I just did!"

The girl with black hair then blew a raspberry. "You have a weird name!"

Little Jessica had no idea what to do. Even though she didn’t know the other child, she felt offended. "Why is it weird?!"

"I don’t know. It’s just weird. It doesn’t sound like my name. My name is Yoooo-ri."

"Yoori?"

"Yeah. Yooooo-ri."

Yuri took a bold step forward and grabbed Jessica’s hand. "Let’s be friends, girl-with-a-weird-name."

Jessica’s face began to feel strangely warm as she pulled her hand away quickly. She felt embarrassed, but she did not know why. In a shrill voice, she demanded, "What makes you think I want to be friends with you?"

"Umma said our parents are good friends and that I should be friends with you."

Yuri added her own opinion just for good measures. "Besides, you’re pretty."

Jessica blushed again.

"Okay, let’s be friends."

Yuri held out her hand again, beaming as if she were a star, and Jessica took it.

…

"Excuse me, miss." Yuri said, stopping to catch her breath. By sheer luck, she had found the girl walking across the campus of her school again after weeks of hoping to find her again.

"Oh, it’s you, again." The blonde-haired girl turned around, a slight grin on her face. "Yuri, the hopelessly lost girl."

"And you’re that creepy visitor," Yuri huffed out.

"Not creepy. I’m visiting a friend, remember?"

Instead of replying, Yuri ignored what she said.

"Jessica, do you remember me from when we were kids?" the tall girl blurted out. "I’m Kwon Yuri."

Jessica stopped her teasing, her expression becoming blank. Yuri fidgeted nervously, praying that she had not gotten the wrong Jessica. Surely there could only be a handful of Koreans named Jessica in Seoul. The one in her memories hadn’t been blonde, but Yuri just had this feeling…

 Slowly but surely, a stunning smile curled onto Jessica’s lips. "Yooooo-ri, wasn’t it?"

She always felt oddly happy when she thought of Yuri. They always joked about fate bringing them back together, but sometimes she could almost believe it.

Almost in a childish way, she pictured her and Yuri graduating college and getting jobs together. Maybe even living together. These were things that Yuri talked about and Jessica teased about. But even she wanted that happily ever after.

However, she knew reality wouldn’t be so kind to her.

Life was not a fairytale, and she could not be guaranteed her happily ever after no matter how much she wished it. She couldn’t even be sure that everything else wouldn’t just come along and cut it short.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lately, Tiffany Hwang was hopeful.

She had noticed the change in Taeyeon's behavior fairly quickly over the number of weeks they had spent together: the way Taeyeon would now be the first to initiate the talking, the way she had stopped her random bouts of giving Tiffany the cold shoulder, and the way she seemed to be reluctantly opening up more and more often, almost as if she couldn't help it. 

Not once had she doubted her admiration for the other girl. Taeyeon was just simply unlike any girl she had ever met. She was one of the most intriguing people Tiffany had ever spoken to, and still that girl was convinced that she was just the opposite. Sure, Tiffany enjoyed the times she got to spend with her roommate, Hyoyeon, and the nights out with her friends, and she even met up with an old friend or two from her childhood, but there was no presence she loved more than that of her innocent English partner. To say the very least, Taeyeon was special. 

And not special because there was no other way to describe her (there were an infinite number of secret talents and quirks Tiffany had yet to discover among the ones she had the luck of finding out) but because Tiffany had never met anyone remotely like her. Taeyeon was like a star that had been momentarily hidden behind some nebulous clouds. When she could finally reveal herself, Tiffany was sure Taeyeon would shine the brightest among everyone else.

But even she had not expected what would happen next. 

A rather cheerless figure approached her after class that day.

Always the faithful optimist, Tiffany first acted like nothing was wrong, commenting on the analysis of the novel they had discussed so thoroughly in class and expressing her satisfaction with the progression of their project. When she realized that Taeyeon didn't seem to be paying very much attention to what she was saying, she switched to another tactic instead of being offended. She asked about her most recent drawings, but the short girl's mind was off in another land, apparently.

Even when they bought lunch, Taeyeon had almost forgotten to take her change and had picked up her wrapped meal with the most bewildered face. It was only when Taeyeon had finally blinked and said, "I feel weird today" when Tiffany decided to say something.

"Is there something bothering you?"

"I don't know," Taeyeon responded sincerely, unsure of what to think of the current issues swirling about in her head.

Tiffany became silent again, taking this as a sign to let her be. She wanted Taeyeon to feel comfortable around her, and, anyway, she seemed to be able to sense whenever the girl needed time to think to herself.

They sat in the shade for a while until Taeyeon spoke up abruptly again.

"Can I be completely honest with you?" she asked. 

Tiffany noticed Taeyeon's anxious, wandering eyes. 

"Of course."

Needless to say, she was surprised. She wondered if this was the big step in their friendship she was praying for and also if it was too soon. For Taeyeon to trust her and confide her was something she had been working toward since she met her.

"I-I've been having weird thoughts..."

Seeing a frown beginning to form on Tiffany's forehead, Taeyeon quickly tried to phrase things more clearly. "Not creepy or anything! Just... I don't know how to explain it."

Her words seemed to escape from without any of her usual control. 

"And then there's this dream of you and me that's happened more than once," admitted Taeyeon, unable to look in Tiffany's direction. "It's like you keep staring into my soul or something. Like you’re expecting something from me. It’s kind of unnerving for me. But it's not exactly a nightmare either."

She buried her face in her hands, her face heating up. She had no absolutely idea why she had just told Tiffany that, but she just had felt so compelled to do so.

"Tell me what's wrong with me."

Tiffany opened to speak but closed it to think for a few seconds more.

"There's nothing wrong," Tiffany answered carefully.

She's been having a dream about me? Is there a chance that I mean more to her than I thought...?

"It's just weird," Taeyeon said, slightly exasperated. "I feel so nervous and at loss around you still sometimes. I think it's because I'm just not good with people, but I don't know what to do."

The genuineness of her honesty hit Tiffany with a shock. She must not have realized the magnitude of her words, Tiffany thought. Taeyeon must have been unable to decipher her own feelings, but Tiffany definitely wasn't as clueless.

almost ran dry when she finally decided to speak. "Taeyeon... Do you possibly..."

It didn't get to her right away, what Tiffany was asking. Maybe if it weren't for that dream, the thought would have never come across her mind at all. Maybe then she wouldn't have caught on to the meaning behind her pause so quickly. Taeyeon stared at her with wide eyes, understanding the implication of Tiffany's insinuation within a few moments when neither spoke any further. 

"Oh, no," she said, furrowing her eyebrows. "No way, that's impossible."

Jokingly, they had discussed about the idea of a girl dating another girl once. It seemed that Tiffany had been friends with Jessica, and since Yuri was Taeyeon’s roommate, she had inevitably met and spoken with the tall girl multiple times. Tiffany knew about Yuri and her relationship with Jessica, and she told Taeyeon she didn’t mind. She had an open mind, growing up from the States, and Taeyeon had agreed with her. The atmosphere had gotten awkward right afterwards, so Tiffany had tried to ease the tension by joking around.

They had discussed a lot of things, to be fair. Over the course of their friendship, the two approached most subjects about life with caution and never spent too long in them. They always strayed away from getting too far into the deep end of topics such as love or their pasts and often opted out for discussing ordinary school worries instead.

Tiffany had once mentioned about how dreams could say a lot about a person, though, in one of their more serious conversations. It hurt to think that Taeyeon was pushing her away again and unwilling to open herself up to her once again.

Although the words felt like a sharp stab, Tiffany swallowed the lump in and gathered the courage to continue. "Why?"

"Because..." Taeyeon sputtered in disbelief, confirming that they had the same thought in mind. "Because that's absolutely crazy!"

Tiffany's eyes became large and held an emotion that Taeyeon could not pinpoint. A slow realization was growing in Taeyeon's consciousness that made it seem as though Tiffany's gaze seemed to be piercing through her very body.

"But I could feel that way."

It was funny how a few words could change everything. Funny how one person's actions could irrevocably change another person's entire world and flip it upside down and turn it inside out. Funny how the possibility of something could change the perspective. Once something was said, it was its own ripple in the water, gradually but surely spreading out to the ends of the pond. It was an actual force that could threaten everything in its path.

Taeyeon just stared, dumbfounded at the sudden confession. She didn't even have to worry about the irregular rhythm of her heart because, for the first time since the morning, it had stopped beating altogether.

No, it can't be... She can't possibly...

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ninety-nine was not a favorite number. Ninety-nine was the score you complained about on a test, and the one your parents asked: "Where did that one point go?" Ninety-nine percent of the time was the percentage that had you wondering what dreadful thing would happen for the other one percent. Ninety-nine was either too large for its own good or too small for the same reason. And for most people, it was all or nothing. There was no almost there. Yes or no, black or white, one hundred or nothing.

So what made people think that promising "always" or "definitely" would be the same thing as "ninety-nine percent of the time"?

Yuri believed she had a right to be worried. She was sitting there, gripping an iced coffee, tapping the top of the table impatiently to calm her nerves.

"Yuri-ah." Someone nudged her. "She’s probably busy."

"Sometimes she’s late," Yuri mumbled. "She said she’d be here."

Sooyoung sighed from across the table and gave a look to Sunny, who shrugged.

Yuri drank silently and wiped the lingering liquid off with her the back of her hand.

If someone promised to see you after hardly having anything to do with you for weeks, and that someone was your very own girlfriend, she should follow it, shouldn’t she?

"School going okay?"

"Huh?" Yuri turned to look at Sunny blankly. "Oh, yeah. It’s fine."

"You and the roommate best friends yet?"

A small smile flickered onto Yuri’s lips, but it dissolved almost as soon as it appeared. "She’s busy, too."

The other two girls frowned. Sooyoung asked, "With what?"

Yuri made a dramatic gesture. "She’s madly in love with this girl named Tiffany."

"Really?" Sooyoung and Sunny leaned in closer, both immediately interested. 

"Well, she might as well be," Yuri grumbled. "They hang out more than Jessica and I do lately."

The other two sat back in their chairs, sensing the direction the conversation was going.

"Take it easy." Sooyoung suggested, placing a hand on top of Yuri’s.

"How can I when—"

The familiar chime of bells caused everyone stop and look up toward the door of the shop.

Hearing the arrival of a customer, the manager hurried to greet the person. 

"Ah, Jessica-ssi! It's good to see you again." 

Yuri shot up instantly upon the sound of the name, practically slamming the sides of the table with her hands.

"I believe your friends are waiting for you," the man smiled.

"Thanks, ahjussi."

Yuri craned her neck to catch a glimpse of the girl before she would reach their table. She saw her two friends staring at her. One with a knowing smirk and the other with an eyebrow raised.

What are you doing, babo? Her mind echoed. You're mad at her, remember?

Her figure deflated, recalling the familiar feelings of hurt, and she sat back down, frowning at her cup.

"Sica!" Sooyoung immediately went over to hug the girl with Sunny. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Jessica grinned. "The coursework isn't getting any lighter."

"Tell me about it," Sooyoung groaned.

"You're a model," Sunny rolled her eyes. "Do you even have schoolwork?"

"Of course I do!" The shikshin crossed her arms defensively. "I don't ignore it and play video games like you do."

"What?" The short girl blinked innocently. "I would never."

"Yeah, right."

Normally, Yuri would join in on the teasing and gang up with one of them, but today she felt irritated that the two other girls were ignoring her and fighting over something so petty. And weren't they supposed to be on her side in the first place?

"Hi."

She glanced upwards and saw Jessica smiling down at her.

Yuri looked away.

She looks gorgeous, as usual.

"Can I sit here?"

Yuri mumbled something and scooted over, feeling the cushion on her side of the booth sink slightly due to the extra weight.

Honestly, she wanted to say something, but she could only stare ahead and watch Sooyoung and Sunny's continuous bickering. Some part of her wanted to hug Jessica and tell her how worried she was, but the part of her that had too much pride would not let her. She didn't want to look dependent and childish, even if she felt that way.

"Isn't your hand cold?" Jessica asked, pointing at Yuri's cup, still gripped securely.

"No," Yuri said, but she let go of her drink before she could stop herself.

She felt a warm hand envelope hers, and she looked at her girlfriend in surprise.

Jessica gave a small smile that was only meant for Yuri could see and shivered. "It feels freezing."

Yuri felt her face begin to heat up.

"Then don't hold my hand."

She faced her other friends again who both were engrossed in their argument, and she found that she was unable to find the courage to let go first.

"But I missed you."

Her body froze immediately at the sound of Jessica’s words.

Even though the mind could speak, the heart always knew where you belonged. Just hearing those words made Yuri's heart feel like shattering. It seemed that she was standing on a thin string, afraid that taking the next step would send her over the edge, pouring out her feelings toward the same girl she was supposed to be mad at.

She was supposed to be the one demanding an explanation and not giving in at all costs, yet she couldn't find a drop of anything except sincerity in Jessica's actions. As far as Yuri was concerned, Jessica had skipped too many Saturday meetings by now to count. Jessica did go to one after Yuri's incessant begging, but she had been so out of it that she might as well have not. Even afterwards, replies to texts and calls were rather few and irregular. Perhaps it had been a particularly tough month, nothing Yuri wasn't expecting to eventually experience with Jessica, but it bothered her just a little too much considering how long they'd been together. She wanted a reason, so she could pretend that it hadn't been carelessness that left them distant. Even an excuse, so she could finally let out her anger. She felt so weak and tired all of a sudden. Loneliness and love made people vulnerable that way. 

"Why are you doing this?" Yuri's voice was barely a whisper. 

"Because I miss you and wanted to see you," Jessica replied softly. 

"Why didn't you just call or text me first?" Yuri tried to control the accusing tone of her words.

"I'm sorry," Jessica said, her voice still quiet. "One thing came after another... I haven’t had much time to talk to anyone. I didn’t mean for you to think I didn’t care."

Despite the lack of explanations, hearing the heartfelt words and presence of the other lessened the pain more than any other person could.

 "I love you a lot, you know that?" 

Their hands began to intertwine as Yuri turned to look at Jessica without hesitating anymore.

"I know." Jessica smiled. "I feel the same way."

Little did they know that the pair sitting across from them had long finished their arguing and were trying to keep from cringing at the scene in front of them.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Sooyoung interjected with a smirk. "Glad you two made up so fast, but we need to order some food, don't we?"

Yuri noticed Jessica's face had turned pink when she shook her head in disapproval at the comment. "I can't believe you're a model sometimes. You eat way too much."

Sunny grinned. "Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm hungry, also."

"Let's get the lunch special," Sooyoung offered without skipping a beat, encouraged by the support.

"Okay. I want soup," announced Jessica.

"Of course," Sooyoung rolled her eyes. "You love soup."

"At least she knows what she wants and doesn't order a million things like you."

Sooyoung pretended to glare at Yuri. "I always finish my food."

"Shikshin," Yuri stuck out her tongue.

"Choding." Sooyoung replied nonchalantly. She squinted and wagged a finger in front of Yuri's face. "Anyway, you shouldn't disrespect me when I'm gonna be famous soon."

"Narcissistic," Yuri muttered.

This made Sooyoung laugh.

Jessica gave a relieved smile, feeling more at ease when she saw Yuri relaxing and becoming more like herself. She still did owe her an explanation, though. That she knew.

"Yuri, about these past weeks..."

Yuri turned her head away from her menu, waiting expectantly.

Jessica took a deep breath. "...Listen, I know you might be mad, but—"

"Hi, are you guys ready to order?" A young man with a nametag that said "Baekhyun" appeared beside their table, smiling brightly. He had been watching them for a while, and he figured that they probably already had their lunch orders ready as they were regulars at the shop.

The group greeted him warmly, recognizing the boy as one of the shop's most friendly employees.

"I'll have the soup of the day," said Jessica, skimming through the description of the shop's newly advertised appetizers.

"Sure." Baekhyun whipped out the notepad from his back pocket in an expert fashion.

He scribbled their orders knowingly before he began to speak again.

"Oh, Jessica-noona, how did you like our Wednesday special last time?" He turned to the girl who looked up in surprise as he stopped his writing to glance at her. As usual, he was having a friendly chat with a customer, but he had no idea he had chosen the worst possible thing to talk about.

There was a strange, uncomfortable silence as Yuri's eyes darted immediately to Jessica. Sooyoung and Sunny glanced at each other cautiously.

"Yeah," Jessica swallowed and nodded carefully, aware of Yuri's hard stare from the corner of her eye. "It was... good."

The strange, almost tangible tension hanging from the air remained as Jessica willed herself not to look at Yuri.

"I'm sorry," he said, feeling confused at the uneasy atmosphere. He looked quickly around the table. "Do you guys need more time?"

"That would be nice," Yuri said through clenched teeth.

"All right. Just call me when you're ready."

Almost instantly after Baekhyun disappeared to hurriedly tend to another person waiting to order, Yuri pulled Jessica's arm and dragged her outside the shop.

Just like that, her blood was boiling and the exasperation from before was returning. She wanted to yell, so she opened , but no sound came out. 

"What?"

Yuri couldn't think of any other thing to say to voice her disbelief and shock.

"You came here this week?"

She stared hard at Jessica while she nodded hesitantly, clearly guilty.

"And yet... you didn't have time to spend with me, at all?!"

"I—"

"Who were you with?" Yuri abruptly demanded, trying to keep herself calm. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, she told herself. Maybe she still had a valid reason.

"I..." A strange sigh escaped from Jessica, causing Yuri's heart to sink. Jessica looked away. "I can't tell you."

The tall girl's voice wavered. "What?"

Yuri felt the stab of rejection directed straight at her heart.

"You can't tell me?"

Jessica still would not meet her eyes.

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's..." Jessica hesitated as if she were conflicted, trying to find the right words to say. The right words to explain the dilemma she was now in without hurting the person she cared about most.

Yuri stared at her, scanning her faces for any subtle messages.

She frowned after Jessica didn't reply for a minute longer.

Releasing her hold on the other girl, Yuri stepped back and raised her arms in surrender, suddenly feeling very exhausted. "You know what? I don't want to know."
 

She turned swiftly on her heels, feeling the tears of frustration she had kept at bay until now beginning to roll down her cheeks. She couldn't let Jessica see this side of her. And she most certainly couldn't deal with this situation right now.

"I'm gonna go," she said coldly behind her, wiping her eyes discreetly.

Jessica blankly watched Yuri walk off and call a cab. She winced when she heard Yuri enter the car with an angry slam of the door. Her heart felt heavy and empty all at the same time, but she knew she could not do anything and that, moreover, she deserved this. What had just happened was petty. It could've been explained easily, if she had chosen to, but the words had caught in . And she knew it was no use, anyway.

She sighed and decided to return inside.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket as she entered, making her jump. 

She saw the caller I.D., and a deep frown contorted her face.

"Appa," she hissed into the speaker, "now's not a good time."

By now she had made it back to her table, and her friends were watching her intently, suspiciously. She ran a hand through her hair. It did not soothe her.

"No," Jessica said firmly into the phone. "No. call me later. Goodbye, appa."

The moment she shut off her phone and sat down with another long sigh, the other two leaned in with very grave looks.

"Jessica Jung, you better explain yourself to us right now."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Why don’t you give it a chance?" Tiffany said, holding back the tears beginning to brim in her eyes. It was already a day later, but their fighting was getting worse. Tiffany was not willing to ignore the matter any longer.

Taeyeon thought it was blatantly obvious why, but she couldn't look at the other girl. They both stood up, neither able to sit on the bench any longer.

"Because… Because it’s wrong!"

"Why?"

"My parents…" Taeyeon stammered, trying to think of something. "They won’t react well."

"So? …You think you’re the only one? Did you think it was easy for me to decide about what I feel?"

Taeyeon didn’t answer.

"That’s an excuse, isn’t it? You’re afraid, aren’t you?" Tiffany stepped closer, her eyes with a mix of disappointment and betrayal that made Taeyeon’s heart plummet to the floor. "You’re afraid of society judging you…"

When Tiffany was met again with no reply, she knew it meant she had hit the nail spot on.

"Don’t you want to live?"

"I am living!" The other girl exclaimed, using a tone of offense to cover the lie streaming out of her lips.

"This, Taeyeon?" Tiffany made a gesture in the air as if the tension between them was palpable. "Pretending what I'm talking about doesn't exist? This isn't living."

"You’d call being judged living? You’d call always have to keep this a secret from people living? You’d call walking down the street being singled out about living? All these consequences you know we’d face, that’s living?"

Tiffany’s gaze softened and she pressed her lips together. For some reason, her eyes on her still made Taeyeon’s heart ache.

"Don’t you ever think about anyone but yourself…?"

For a moment, Taeyeon glanced at her but looked away. 

Tiffany said nothing, but she didn't have to with her stare.

She walked away shortly after that, leaving Taeyeon to stand alone behind to pick up the rubble from the walls she had built so carefully around herself. Because Tiffany did not know her own strength, she failed to see that she had broken down Taeyeon’s defenses already. That even Taeyeon could no longer deny that there was something between them. Her indestructible walls had crumbled. Her confidence had bubbled down to pure confusion.

It scared her.

The feelings she held for Tiffany were getting so strong that they away Taeyeon’s breath every time she saw her. It wasn’t so much the idea of liking the same gender… she always thought love wasn’t biased in terms of that (although she never really saw it coming for herself either)… Well, maybe it was. But for a person to have so much influence over her… yes, that was where the real fear mainly came from. The stuff she said was only an excuse.

She didn't believe in love. She didn't think she was crazy enough to fall for the idea of falling in love, and she hadn't ever imagined someone else would be crazy enough to consider falling in love with her. She was just Kim Taeyeon. A prospective college student, a poor conversationalist, a country girl. Love happened to people in the movies, the ones who had bright, shining smiles with flawless skin and perfect laughs. Love never happened to a normal girl like her. At least, the logical part of her told her so.

Before she even knew it and before she could even comprehend where her legs carried her, Taeyeon was kneeling down near a spot she knew very well, running her thumb across the dirt caking the edge of a familiar bench. She raised her head to the sky and noticed it was a stunning shade of pink. 

A strange part of her desperately wished that love could be as simple and as beautiful as the boundless heavens above her.
 

She sat down at that bench for a long time alone that evening.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Palms shaking, sweat dripping, heart throbbing.

Yuri could feel her hand trembling as she gripped the pencil. She was trying hard to focus on the topic at hand, but she just couldn't. Calculus homework was trivial at this point.

Trivial. A word that her professor often used to describe the things that made a mathematical equation seem insignificant and something he often discouraged. 

It was just that the thought of anything was reminding her of what happened hardly a day ago. And the loads of concerned messages from Sooyoung and Sunny had caused her to switch her phone on silent and toss it blindly toward the mess on her desk. The messages from Jessica herself, the missed calls that were noticeably growing less frequent over time, made her feel sick. She just couldn't comprehend how her own girlfriend could do that to her. First refuse to spend time with her, and then fail to even muster any coherent response when prompted for a reason. The fury had somewhat calmed, but the raging jealousy had burned and numbed Yuri. How could Jessica even think to avoid her question when she clearly, as her girlfriend, had a right to know? And just who the hell had she even been with? The most aggravating feeling of all was the whisper in her mind telling her that Jessica wasn't cheating on her because she just wasn't that type of person. Even if Jessica's doings didn't seem so innocent anymore. Because Yuri wanted to be mad. She thought she deserved it after this mess.

Frustrated, she squinted harder the paper but found herself letting out a loud sigh and pushing herself away from the desk with a hard shove.

Taeyeon, who had also failed to succeed in doing any work at her desk, looked up and turned.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Yuri quickly walked over to her bed to grab her gym bag lying underneath. Mindlessly, she stuffed some clothes inside and searched for a bottle of water. She slung the bag over her shoulder and reached the door of their room. There was no way she was going to just sit there like nothing was wrong. "I'm going out."

"Wait."

Before Yuri could even turn the knob on the door, she felt Taeyeon's hand on top of hers, causing her to freeze.

"I don't know what happened," Taeyeon said calmly. "But don't kill yourself over it, please."

It was just like Taeyeon to be polite about these things, but the care in her voice was not left unnoticed.

"Thanks, Taeyeon..."

The short girl gave her a small smile.

"Unnie." Yuri added sheepishly, the frown momentarily easing off her face.

Taeyeon laughed and reached up to ruffle Yuri's hair, surprising the other. "It's fine. Come back safe."

As Yuri stepped down the hallway, she fished out her music player and jammed the headphones into her ears. She was going to clear her mind of everything that had and had not happened in the past weeks. She would go to the gym and feel a lot better once she got back. In fact, she could almost feel the anger already fading away. However, the thought that she was very lucky to have Taeyeon as a roommate in the end lingered for long afterwards.

When Taeyeon saw that Yuri was gone, she turned back to her desk and removed the device from her pocket.

Taeyeon tapped the numbers on her phone, staring at the contact name for a while. She heaved a deep breath, pressed the call button, and held the phone to her ear. The sweat on her palms she wiped away on the side of her jeans. The ringing could not have been slower.

Her breathing almost stopped when she heard the click of the person picking up at the other end of the line. She swallowed and opened to speak.

"Oppa."

"Taeyeon?" The voice sounded concerned. "What’s wrong?"

She squeezed her eyes shut, preparing herself.

"Oppa… I think I like someone."

There was a short pause. "That’s great! Who’s the lucky guy?"

"That’s the problem…" Taeyeon gulped.

"What is it?"

Taeyeon was silent for a long time.

"She’s a girl."

There was another pause on the other end. A lot lengthier, this time.

"Does she know?"

"Actually," Taeyeon felt her voice faltering. "S-She almost confessed to me."

"Are you dating?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Taeyeon blinked in shock. "What?"

She held the phone so close to her ear that she could feel every bead of sweat pressed between her skin and the plastic surface.

"…Didn’t you hear me say she was a girl?"

She heard a loud sigh.

"Taetae, you know that I just want you to be happy. If you’re worried your family won’t understand, don’t. I don’t care who you love as long as the person is right for you. I’m sure umma and appa would feel the same way. Don’t tell me you’ve been avoiding her because of this?"

"N-no… It’s just… I’m scared."

"Why?"

Taeyeon’s voice lowered into a whisper. "I feel like I can’t control part of myself anymore."

Her brother let out another sigh.

"Aish, and I thought you were the smart one… Give it a chance, won’t you? You’re always overanalyzing things and worrying too much. What if she turns out to be the love of your life? You won’t regret it now, but later on you’ll ask yourself why you didn’t accept her confession. Don’t you remember appa’s story of how he met umma?"

"I thought they made the story up to entertain us."

"Are you joking?"

"We were kids when they told us."

"So? Where’s your faith, little sister?"

"I…"

"When are you going to start living?"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Wow, is anyone still subbing to me?! This was supposed to be posted before my hiatus, but I could never get around to finishing it (and seeing how it's like my longest chapter yet...). Updates to my subbed fics have recently become almost nonexistent as well, but it seems like some people are posting again, so I felt motivated to finish this.

I have so much planned for this story, even if it's boring, haha. I just have to survive the end of this year, and I'll have all the time in the world to finish this.

I'm sorry if it seems a little sloppy because it's late and I just wanted to finish this chapter since it was half-written and bits and parts of it have been all over the place anyway. I think I'm going to leave off on some sort of cliffhanger until the time comes when I can fully immerse myself into writing again. It's getting close to the action and stuff.

Sorry for the long wait, but please continue to subscribe if you enjoy reading this! Many thanks for that! >.<