My members..

Jaejoong..

Yoochun..

Junsu..

We missed you. Me and Changmin missed you so much. Did you miss us?

I wanted to meet you all. I even often heard Changmin’s sob in his room. I failed. I failed as a leader. Now most of Cassie hated me so much. They hated Changmin too, if you wanted to know.

They said we betrayed you.

No!

I didn’t mean to do it. I just.. sigh.. I just trying to keep our DBSK still alive. It’s okay If you hated me so much, but please.. don’t hated Changmin either.

He didn’t know anything. He just wanted to accompany me to stay here. He didn’t want me to stay alone.

Jaejoongie..

You knew, I always kept smiling when I saw banner or heard people said “Yunjae”. Hahaha. We both are couple. Where I, as a father. You, as a mother. Yoochun and Changmin as our children. And Junsu, as our pet.

You knew, among the 4 of you, I loved you the most. I didn’t know why.. I just felt comfortable near you. Now, you were far far away from me. It was torturing me. I couldn’t taste your delicious food, I couldn’t hear your lecture, I couldn’t see your beautiful face anymore.

Yoochunie..

You knew, you were our member who was crybaby. Did you still a crybaby? Ah.. I thought yes. I never forgot  your daily night with Changmin : had a snack.

Did you still do that? If yes, with whom did you do it? Did you gain some weights? How about your newest drama?

I wished that I could come to your shooting location. I wanted to watch you in live, not only on TV.

Junsuie..

Oh boy, my baby dolphin! What did you do right now? Hey, did you miss your Yunho hyung? Did you often have a high fever?

Please, don’t sick anymore! I didn’t want to see you suffering. I remembered when you had a high fever and I brought you to the hospital.

You knew, you were torturing me! I was dead worried. If you had high fever, who did bring you to hospital? Jaejoong? Yoochun? No anyone?

Just called me please!

JYJ..

Everytime I heard it, my heart broke. I failed. Sigh.. How many times did I say ‘failed’? Thrice? Actually, not thrice. Million times. I repeated it in my heart.

I was so sad that we couldn’t meet. It was because of me and Changmin had many schedules, and you were in Japan. And.. our contract with SM. I didn't want to make it more complicate. The better way was.. just did nothing. Oh, how terrible it was!

Please came back..

JYJ was not exist, but only TVXQ that had 5 members.

Yunho, Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu, and Changmin.

I thought that I would cry right now. I immediately wiped my tears. I didn't want cry! I was strong! Jung Yunho was strong!

“Hyung?” I turned my head to the door when I heard my name was called by someone. It was Changmin. He was standing in front of my door.

“Ne? What’s wrong Changmin-ah?” I asked.

“Hmm..” He looked hesitant, but I was waiting for his answer. “C-can I sleep with you tonight, hyung?” He asked shyly.

Aigo.. He looked cute. It was rare that he wanted to sleep with me. What’s wrong?

“Of course you can. It’s rare that you want to sleep with me. What’s wrong? Are you scare to sleep alone in your room?” I , but he only stared at me.

“I just want to sleep with you hyung. It’s so lonely to sleep alone.” He replied softly.

I knew it, Changmin-ah. I could feel your lonely. When we were 5, you shared a room with Junsu. But now.. you were alone.

“Okay. Come closer.” I patted space beside me. Then he came and sat on the bed beside me.

“Hyung, what are you doing? You look so sad.”

Eh? Could he read my mind? Did he know that I think about them? No, of course he couldn’t. He was not psyhic.

“Really? I must be tired. You know, our schedules..” I said. I thought that he didn’t know that I was lying.

“Ah yeah.. Our schedules are tight. My body is stiff.” He massaged his arms.

“Let me massage your arms! I don’t want that my baby brother is hurting.” I and took his arms.

“Aniyo.. I’m sleepy, hyung.” Then he yawned and rubbed his eyes.

“Okay. Then you can sleep first.”

“No. I want you to sleep too. We sleep together. Come on!” He patted the pillow beside him, behind me.

I couldn’t do anything but smilling. I couldn’t reject his demand.

“Okay. Let’s we sleep!” Then I turned off the lamp before laid my body beside him.

“Good night, hyung!” I heard Changmin whispered and I thought that he must be closed his eyes, ready to go to his dream.

“Good night Changmin-ah!” I replied and closed my eyes too. Oh God, I wished that I had a nice dream tonight.

I wished that I dreamt about them.