“Am I not good enough for you?” Yunho questions; clearly hurt and offended by Junsu’s betrayal. “I give you everything you want and need.  I work hard for you, for our future. Are you not satisfied with what I give you? Huh, Junsu? Tell me, what more do you want?”

Junsu smiles, seemingly unaffected by the other’s anger and disappointment. “I’m good, Yunho.” he says, walking off much to Yunho’s frustration.

The angry man’s vision lands on his office desk and he flips it over before he could even stop himself. He’s mad, furious even, and Junsu won’t even take him seriously. He wonders what he has done to deserve such treatment. Junsu’s infidelity is something he’s tried to put up with for the past year. He lets him be because he’s scared the other might leave him if he tries to confront him about it, but Junsu has taken things too far and he’s not going to sit around and watch him enjoy the company of another man. It pains him to know that his husband can be happy with a man— a man who is not him.

He sees Junsu a couple of hours later in their bedroom, resting. He stands a few feet away from him and clears his throat to let his presence be known. Junsu acknowledges him and pats the space on the bed for the other to claim. His anger hasn’t subsided but it was hard to resist when Junsu wants attention.

Junsu does it again two nights after. Yunho sees him in their restaurant shamelessly flirting with a man whom he’s very much familiar with. His clenches his fists tightly and his breathing sharpens. He was not going to let himself get played with again.

“It’s nice to see you here, Heechul.” Yunho greets with gritted teeth, not forgetting to give Junsu a meaningful glare, a glare which Junsu shrugged off. Heechul, Junsu's persistent and annoying suitor, doesn't know when to back the off. He's well aware that Junsu is a married man but that didn't stop him. He didn't and will never give up, hoping he'll get to change Junsu's heart. Yunho remembers how he had called him an insensitive jerk.

“How’s it going, man?” Heechul asks with a smirk, feeling victorious with pissing Yunho’s balls off. “Junsu and I were just talking about our weekend getaway.”

“Excuse me, what?” Yunho asks. Junsu hasn’t most certainly told him anything about a getaway with or without Heechul. He turns his attention to his supposed-to-be husband and stares at him in confusion. “What’s he talking about?”

Junsu takes a sip of his wine and grins. “I’m going on a trip with Heechul hyung. I figured you’re too busy with work to even come with us so you’re not invited.” Yunho is humiliated. Of all people, he’s the uninvited one. Funny.

Yunho walks out.

He takes his frustrations out on a trash can. Frowning, he feels himself craving for nicotine but remembers that he’s quit because of Junsu. He scoffs. How ridiculous. He kicks the poor can one too many times until he’s satisfied enough. “If that bin could move, it would’ve kicked you in the balls already.” He jumps in surprise at the unfamiliar voice. He turns around to see a man of his age – he assumes – beaming at him.

He scrunches up his face and scoffs for the second time. “Leave me alone.”

“No,” The stubborn feminine man insists. “Let’s talk it out. You know what they say, it’s better to talk to a stranger because no matter how ed up your life is, all they’ll do is laugh at you. And besides, what are the chances of meeting them again?”

Yunho’s frown is slowly replaced with an amusement as he stares at the stranger before him. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Who are you?”

The stranger chuckles, shaking his head. “If I tell you my name, we won’t be strangers anymore. Get it?”

Yunho finds himself clicking with the stranger. With not much difficulty, he’s able to open up— his marriage issues and lots of other things. Eventually, at the end of their conversation, the stranger reveals his name and so does Yunho.

Kim Jaejoong.





Two can play this game, Yunho thinks. While Junsu is away with Heechul on their weekend getaway, Yunho spends his time with the former stranger, Jaejoong. Jaejoong is a great company and he enjoys every single moment they have together. No, he isn’t in love or infatuated with the man. For the record, he still loves Junsu. It’s just that the guy doesn’t even pay attention to him. Then came along Jaejoong, who makes him feel appreciated not neglected. It’s a pity how his relationship with Junsu is slowly deteriorating. They used to be intimate, and Yunho terribly misses those days.

“How’s Junsu like?” Jaejoong inquires one day. “You seem to like him a lot.”

“Love,” Yunho corrects. “He’s my husband. I love him so much.”

“Too much. You love him too much you’re blinded by it. I hate to say this but get real man. He’s cheating on you. Leave him. You’re only hurting yourself.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I’ve understood the moment you told me about it. It’s you who doesn’t quite understand. He’s doing it in front of you. It’s a slap in the face and if it wasn’t so obvious, it’s his way of telling you to move on and go on with your life without him because clearly, he doesn’t need you anymore. It was fun while it lasted.”

Yunho crosses both arms on his chest. “Why are you so eager?”

“Because…just because.”





During the days when Junsu is not around, he would find comfort in Jaejoong. The guy is doing a pretty good job at being a friend. Although happy with the company, he couldn’t hide the fact that he misses Junsu so bad. So bad that sends him a text message and calls him every now and then but Junsu never answers any of it.

“You should just give up.” Jaejoong says in a whisper, acting as if he’s Yunho’s conscience. “You’re never going to win him back.”

“Jaejoong, you do know I’m this close to pounding your head on the wall.” Yunho gives the laughing man a glare, kicking him off the bed. It was a couple of hours ago when Jaejoong called him asking if he could give him a visit because apparently, he’s bored. Yunho complied and now here they are in Jaejoong’s bedroom testing out each other’s patience. And currently, Yunho is losing.

“Wanna go out for dinner?” asks Jaejoong after regaining composure from laughing. He gets up from the floor and plops down the bed beside the tall man.

“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s my father’s birthday today and we’re gonna have dinner.” Yunho didn’t miss the disappointment in the other man’s face. “And I’m inviting you.” He adds as an afterthought.

“Father?” There’s this odd look in Jaejoong’s face that Yunho couldn’t read and for a second there, it looked like Jaejoong was about to cry. “Uhm,” Jaejoong’s soft voice snaps him out of his reverie. The odd expression on his face is still there but Yunho chooses to ignore it. “I’ll be fine. You go ahead and have dinner with your father.”





“I’m home!”

Yunho hears the voice he’s loved so much and he rushes out of the bedroom to greet his husband in a bone-crushing hug. “I missed you.” he says, showering Junsu with kisses on the face. Junsu laughs, holding onto Yunho tighter. “You missed me?”

“Hmm…yeah. Heechul hyung wasn’t as fun as I thought he would be.”

“Only figured that out now?”

Yunho lets go of the hug but Junsu holds on tighter. “Hug me, please?”





Now only if Yunho knew it was the last time he’ll ever get to hug Junsu. Immediately the next day, he comes home to an empty house with Junsu’s clothes wiped out from the closet. Yunho tries to call him only to find out Junsu left his phone in their once shared room. He curses at the ringing device.

…he doesn’t need you anymore.

Jaejoong’s words ring through his head and he weeps, calling out Junsu’s name over and over as if it would make him come back.

As expected from Jaejoong, he comes rushing as soon as Yunho gave him a ring. “I’m sorry Yunho, I didn’t know it’s going to end up like this.” He tries to calm the sobbing man down with comforting words. “Don’t cry Yunho, I’m here. Don’t cry…”

Yunho is a walking mess and Jaejoong doesn’t know what to do with him. He wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t talk, nothing. He would stare at an empty space and be like that for a couple of hours which drives Jaejoong insane. He wouldn’t even go to work making him receive endless of phone calls from his boss demanding him to go to show up immediately. Knowing that it would be impossible, considering his current state, Jaejoong kindly asks the boss for a week of leave of absence due to family matters. Even if the boss wasn’t pleased with it, he didn’t reject the request.

“I called your boss.” Jaejoong informs the still depressed guy. “I asked him to give you a week off. He said yes.” When he still gets no response from the other man, he sighs. “You know I could use a thank you.” He stares at Yunho who is still out of it. He raises his hands in defeat. “You’re hopeless.”

Two days after, Yunho still didn’t get better. He was quite responding, but still out of it. Jaejoong tries to take him out but eventually, he gave up. He knew no matter how hard he tries to snap Yunho out of it, his efforts aren’t enough. And so he settles with something he knew he could always do…be there for him.

Yunho was…is… devastated. He loves Junsu. He loves him more than anything. How could he leave without saying anything? Not even a goodbye. They were alright the day before he left. What was the problem?

Yeah, right. Junsu must’ve been so sick of him.





“I must have given you a hard time. I’m sorry.” Yunho apologizes with much sincerity which Jaejoong laughs off because really, does he even have to apologize? “You know I could use a Yunho, it’s alright, and you don’t have to worry.”

“Funny. I told you that before but you weren’t even listening to me. But no, it’s really okay man.”

Miraculously, Yunho recovered from being the depressed bastard into his normal self. Jaejoong is very much thankful for that because he would rather talk to a cat than to an unresponsive Yunho. It was that bad.

Although he has recovered from the depression, that doesn’t mean he’s over Junsu. No, that would probably take him forever. It might not even be possible.

“Hey, who’s that? Did you invite someone?” Jaejoong asks when the doorbell rings.

“I didn’t. But my parents called. They’re going to drop something off.”

“Parents?” Jaejoong’s voice sounds as if he’s panicking and Yunho wants to ask why but the former cuts him off. “As in your mom and dad?”

Yunho nods. “Well, yeah. I guess so.”

“ Yunho !” Jaejoong scrambles out of the couch and sprints out Yunho’s balcony.

“Jaejoong what are you—! Jaejoong!” Panic strikes the taller male when Jaejoong jumps from his balcony landing down his backyard. Before he could even get out to check on the other, Jaejoong already dashes out of the vicinity.

“You were shouting, why?” Inquires his mom when he opens the door after recovering from the shock. Seriously, Jaejoong does the weirdest and life-threatening things.

“Ah, no…it’s my friend. He…he just…I was on the phone with him.”

His parents don’t have a clue about his current situation with Junsu and he’s not planning to tell them. The last thing he would do is publicize his failed marriage. No. It’s not like they have to know. What they know won’t hurt them.

“Your friend? Jaejoong…was it?”

He gives his father a confused look. “How did you know?”

“Son, the neighbors could hear your voice, too.”

“Oh,” he chuckles awkwardly, finally inviting them inside the house.





“What the hell was that? You almost gave me a heart attack you !” Jaejoong chuckles, pushing the box of chocolates to Yunho’s chest which irritates the other more. “And I’m not a ing girl. I don’t need chocolates!”

“Watch your language butthole! This is peace offering. I apologize from jumping off your balcony last time. I just…”

“You what? I noticed that you get all weird when I mention my parents, you know.”

“Well, I just…I don’t want your parents to see me. It’s awkward.”

“I don’t see how it’s going to be awkward but whatever.”

Jaejoong chuckles awkwardly, nodding stiffly. “Yeah, whatever.”

“You’re not scared of them, are you? Because for some reason, they want to meet you.”

“What?” Yunho finds himself getting slapped on the arm as Jaejoong laughs at him. “I’m your friend, Yunho. Not your girlfriend. They don’t need to meet me.”

“Hmm, that’s true. Since you’re so intent on running away from my parents, I’m just going to have to make up excuses for you.”

“Yep, you do that.”

Jaejoong observes Yunho who doesn’t seem to be suspicious. Good, he thinks.





He wonders if Junsu is doing well, unlike him. It’s been five months and he’d appreciate it if Junsu would at least send him a message explaining why he left. It’s not like he would beg him to come back.

Okay, maybe a little please Junsu, let's give it another shot is going to happen.

If Junsu wasn’t happy and got tired of him, why didn’t he say so? Yunho would try hard to understand and maybe, maybe he would be able to let him go because never wanted Junsu to feel that way. And if he’s the reason why Junsu’s doing what he’s doing, he’d certainly back off and move on.

Or at least try to.

The moment Junsu walked out of the door and left him, it was over. The message was clear, but he wants closure. Junsu must’ve fallen out of love although he can’t be too sure.  He has questions that needed answers. Junsu, at the very least, owes him that.

Whatever possessed him to call Heechul and meet up with him, he does not know. He hated the guy for as long as he could remember. Heechul just never gave him a reason to like him.

With a sigh, he enters the café immediately spotting the effeminate man. “Hey,” he greets, taking the liberty to sit across him. “I’m pretty sure you know why I’m here.”

Heechul smiles, not mockingly. Yunho silently thanks him for that. He's certainly not in the mood for bickering. “Actually, I don’t. I was, in fact, surprised when you asked meet up with me.”

“Junsu left and I was wondering if you know where he is.” There’s no need to beat around the bush. He's not the type of person to do that and he knows Heechul isn't, too.

He notices Heechul frowning. What, he asks. "I didn't know he'd actually do that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, okay let me tell you this first. If you're thinking he's with me, he isn't. Now, he once told me about going out of the country to travel."

Heechul's frown transfers to Yunho's face. He's utterly confused. Did Junsu hate him that much? Did he have to resort to running away from his homeland just so he could get rid of him?

"I'm not getting this."

Heechul sighs. "I'm sure you don't. Yunho, Junsu loves you, okay? But not in the sense that...well, not romantically. I think he confused himself with that. He thinks he loves you, which he does, but it's not the love love kind of thing. You get me?"

"Who are you to tell me this? How can I be sure you're not feeding me false information."

"It's your choice." Heechul shrugs. "It's either you believe me or you don't." Yunho watches as the man across him takes a sip of his coffee. He watches and waits, waits for Heechul to speak. Somehow, he feels like Heechul is actually telling him the truth. "Not sure why you haven't noticed or figured this out yet. Probably because you're too in love." Heechul sighs. "I'll let you in on a secret, Yunho. I'm Junsu's best friend."

What? How did that happen? He wants to ask. His frown deepens, his confusion triples. "Why am I not aware of that?"

"Two reasons. One, you hate me and two, Junsu didn't feel the need to tell you because he thought you knew. It should've been obvious. I didn't woo him. I'm not even in love with him. It was a joke that got out of hand and it's fun seeing you all worked up so I never told you the truth."

"You're a bastard."

"So I've been told."

"I'm still confused."

"I know." He doesn't know what to think. Clearly, Heechul's revelations made it worse. "Yunho, you barely know anything about Junsu. You met him at a bar, dated him for half a month and asked him to marry you. He acts on impulse...reason why he said yes when you proposed. The joke I made about wooing him, he doesn't know about it. It was to drive you away, I'm not going to deny that. But that's because I know Junsu would end up hurting you. And he did, didn't he?"

Yunho nods. It's starting to make sense now. He clenches his fists as he continues to listen to the other male. "Junsu, you see, is a very simple person, but that doesn't mean everyone understands him. You are a perfect example. He's a kid at heart...and mind, I suppose. The moment he feels butterflies in his stomach and his heart thumping rapidly, he'd assume he's in love. That's what happened when he met you. You made him feel special, like he's the most precious person on the face of the earth. Things happened pretty quickly between you two and I could only watch, sigh and cringe because I know how it would end up."

"So you're saying he's not in love with me?" Yunho asks quietly, Heechul's words slowly sinking in.

"He's not. But you're special to him. Let's put it this way, you're like a best friend...with benefits." Much to his surprise, Heechul grabs his hand giving it a light squeeze as if trying to comfort him. "In behalf of Junsu, I'm sorry. I know you're hurt and all, but that's how Junsu is. No one can tell him what to do. He'll do what he wants. He's innocent, always thinks that he's not doing anything wrong. He tends to not think about how people would feel, how his actions could affect someone. He'll come back, I know he will, but if you don't want to get hurt again, don't even try to take him back. Just let him be."

"Thank you."

That was all Yunho could say. He needs to think. To cry. To mend his broken heart.

He doesn't cry, though. He's done with that. He chose to believe Heechul's words. Heechul lying is pretty much impossible, he could hear the sincerity in his voice as he apologized and told him the truth. Now that everything seems to be clear, all that's left for him to do is move on. Really move on.





"You look better," Jaejoong tells him. He smiles softly. "Anything good happened?"

"You could say that. I'm in the process of moving on." he replies.

Jaejoong smiles. Yunho thinks it's beautiful. "Finally, Yunho." He doesn't tell Jaejoong what happened and he appreciates him not asking him anything else. "Wanna go for a walk?"

He says yes. It's a pretty good distraction.

They walk at the park side-by-side, Yunho's hands in his pocket and Jaejoong observing the passersby, commenting at how that man over there shouldn't be wearing incredibly tight shorts because oh my god, it's so distracting Yunho look at him and let's puke together. Yunho chuckles and tells him he's a tad weird for noticing things like that.

"I'm not weird."

"Yeah, sure...whatever you say."

The next few weeks was spent with Jaejoong because he's come to a conclusion that Jaejoong has this talent of making him forget about everything else around him when they're together. Like it's just the two of them.

Oddly, he kind of likes it.

One night, as he sits on his balcony, he remembers Heechul's words. You barely know anything about Junsu. He blinks and images of Jaejoong flash in his mind. "What the heck," he mumbles, gulping down his beer. He closes his eyes for a brief moment and sees Jaejoong's smiling face. His eyes shot open. "It's the alcohol kicking in." He convinces himself.

Putting the beer down, he decides he's had enough of the alcohol. He looks up at the sky and frowns a little. Thinking about it, he doesn't know anything about Jaejoong other than his name and how much he enjoys being with him. Jaejoong didn't bother telling him anything about himself either. Yunho didn't even bother to ask. It was always about Yunho— how he feels, how he's coping up with the break up, if he's feeling better, if he wants to go somewhere to get his mind off things. Not once he's asked Jaejoong about his day, if he's fine, or even simpler things such as his favorite food, his hobbies, what his job is.

Yunho groans, he suddenly feels horrible. "I'm such a bad friend."





If he noticed how weird Jaejoong is acting around him, he doesn't say anything about it. Instead, he asks, "You okay?"

Jaejoong jumps at the sound of his voice and shakes his head frantically. "Huh yeah...yeah I am."

"Alright. Jae, I'm hungry." He pokes the spaced out man on the arm and pushes him to the direction of his kitchen. "You in for some Chinese? I'll order takeout."

"No need. I'll just...I'm going to cook, okay?" Jaejoong smiles softly. "I'll use whatever I can find in your kitchen."

He offers to help but Jaejoong refuses, saying he can't work properly in the kitchen with someone watching him. With a nod, Yunho settles down his couch as he waits for their dinner.

Jaejoong is fidgety, and sweating a lot. He wonders if it's hot although it would be weird if it is because the weather has been nothing but cool the past few days. He looks up at Jaejoong who refuses to give him his plate. He frowns. "What's wrong?"

His voice seems to snap the other man out of his reverie and reluctantly puts down the plate on the table. Yunho murmurs a thank you as he picks up his chopsticks. He pauses and glances at Jaejoong still standing, eyes fixated on him. "Seriously, what's up with you? Why don't you sit down and eat with me, huh?"

Jaejoong replies with a blink.

It was sort of getting on his nerves. He doesn't know what's wrong with his friend and when he asks, the only reply he'll get is silence.

After a few minutes of silence and intense staring, Jaejoong slowly sits down, eyes now on Yunho's food. The latter notices. "You want this? Okay, let's trade." He reaches out for Jaejoong's plate when said man shakes his head.

"No! No, it's fine. Just...go eat that."

He sighs. "I'm really hungry so I'm just going to eat. We'll talk later, got it?" He doesn't wait for a reply as he picks up his chopsticks again, about to take a mouthful of food when Jaejoong snatches it and his plate from him, throwing the contents in the bin. "What the ." He says before he could even stop himself. He's famished and the last thing he wanted to happen is get his food taken away from him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry , Yunho. I'll go order takeout, hmm?"

Before he could open his mouth to speak, Jaejoong dashes out of the dining room.

He didn't get to ask Jaejoong what the matter was because as soon as their food came, Jaejoong left along with the delivery man leaving him speechless. He tried calling him but to no avail. Jaejoong wasn't picking up. He's left messages, too. But of course, as he expected, he was ignored.

He's tried to think if he's done something that made the other feel bad although he's pretty sure there's nothing. Jaejoong has always been...strange so maybe, Yunho thinks, it's just one of those days where he goes all abnormal.




When he sees Jaejoong at his doorstep, he immediately pulls him in a hug saying how much he’s missed him. “Yah, where have you been? It’s been decades.”

“Three days, Yunho.”

“Well it felt like decades to me. I think you owe me an explanation, mister.” Yunho has tried not to think much about it, about Jaejoong, but the man is a part of his life now. So when Jaejoong ran away, it’s as if he took away a part of him. He thought it was strange and it bothered him. “Maybe I should chain you to my bed so you won’t be able to run away again. This is the second time, Jae. I’m not letting you go again.”

Suggestive, Jaejoong silently tells himself. If Yunho means that romantically…or ually, Jaejoong’s heart would’ve popped out of his chest. But who’s he kidding? His heart aches just thinking about it so he shrugs the thought off, chuckling ever so lightly as he shakes his head. “Yunho, I’m not here because I’m back. I’m here because…because I’m saying goodbye.”

“Wha— what Jaejoong. Maybe it would nice if you tell me why. I would appreciate that.” Yunho notices how Jaejoong is trying so hard to avoid looking at him which adds on to his curiosity. They stay on his front door, Yunho not bothering to pull the man to his living room because this, he decides, could not wait. Jaejoong’s hiding something from him and he needs to find out. Considering that they’re practically best friends, he has the right to know. And he’s tired of people ignoring him.

Jaejoong shakes his head. “I…I can’t. I’m sorry…I can’t tell you…”

Yunho’s eyes narrow and he finds himself getting angry all of a sudden. “You’re pulling a Junsu on me. Great. Just ing great.”

“Yunho…”

“What?” he snaps, his fists unconsciously clenching tight. “If you’re going to leave me, you at least owe me an explanation.” He waits— waits if Jaejoong would start speaking soon, but he doesn’t. Jaejoong has his eyes closed, his breathing getting heavier by the second and he’s getting worried but doesn’t bother showing it because he’s more angry than worried, to be honest. “I can’t ing believe this, Kim Jae—“

“I’m sorry!” Jaejoong barks, startling him. “I’m sorry Yunho, I…I…this is wrong. I don’t want to hurt you. I really don’t.” 

“I don’t understand. What’s wrong? How are you hurting me?”

“I…I’ve tried to kill you.” It comes out as a whisper but Yunho hears it loud and clear. He couldn’t be any more shocked as he frowns and asks what the do you mean because I’m pretty sure I don’t understand all this . His swearing is causing Jaejoong to tremble, get even more scared than he already is but Yunho’s too worked up to even notice that and the tears streaming down his cheeks. “I don’t even know where to start…”

“Anywhere. Start anywhere you want. Just start. Say anything.”

Jaejoong chews on his lower lip, fingers fidgeting the hem of his shirt. “The time I cooked for you…before I ran away…I…I tried to poison you.”

“Why?”

If anything, Yunho’s confused. He doesn’t even know what to feel. He’s mad, scared, sad…it was just a mix of everything that it’s making his head throb. He couldn’t just ignore Jaejoong anymore though, so he leads him to his couch and asks him to take a breather. Looks like he needs it more than him.

Shaking his legs out of anxiety, Yunho patiently watches Jaejoong wipe his tears harshly with the back of his hands. Seeming to have calmed himself down, Jaejoong speaks. “Would you believe it if I said we’re half-brothers?”

“What did you say?”

Jaejoong sighs. “We are. We’re brothers. Your dad…he’s my dad. He…he was my mom’s boyfriend. He impregnated her and promised her he’ll never leave her. But he did. Mom was depressed for so many years and then she lost it. She killed herself.” Yunho frowns a little. “I…I wanted to get back at him because he ruined us, my mom. That bastard—“

“Is my dad…”

“—I don’t ing care. He doesn’t even know me. I wanted him to feel my pain. How it’s like to lose someone you love. Someone that’s important and I figured I’m going to take his son away from him because I’m pretty sure he loves ing loves you a whole lot. Yeah, he does. If he doesn’t, he’ll leave you. Like what he did to me. He’ll pretend you don’t exist.” Jaejoong chuckles bitterly, eyes showing nothing but hatred. “Mom’s the only one I have and he killed her. I hate him. I hate him so much, Yunho yah.”

His gaze lands on Yunho who stares right back at him, this time showing no emotion. “And then I found you. You have no idea how happy I was when I first saw you. I followed you around, waiting for the right time to approach you. Then I saw you kicking the trash bin looking so troubled, I thought, ah this is perfect…What I didn’t expect was us getting closer.” He sighs once again. “You having problems with Ju— him was an advantage. A win-win situation. I could help you and it’d convince you that I mean no harm. I’ll attack when you least expect it. And I did. It was my first and last attempt. You know why?”

Why?

“Because I…I’m pathetic—”

“That you are.”

“—and I’m insanely in love with my brother.” Yunho gasps, Jaejoong ignores it. “I...I started to develop feelings for you that I almost forgot why I befriended you in the first place. I always put my plan on hold because I figured I have all the time in the world. And I wanted to spend as much time with you before I take your life away. Then that night, I don’t know what happened, I just…when I put poison in your food…I thought I was doing a good job but I chickened out. I couldn’t do it, Yunho. I couldn’t hurt you. Hate on me all you want but my feelings for you are real. This is why I have to leave. I’m so ashamed of myself.”

I’m sorry.

A moment of silence.

And the first thing Yunho says is, “Yeah, you have to leave.” which is a million stabs right in the heart. Jaejoong expected it to hurt, but not this much. Knowing that Yunho is capable of saying much more hurtful things, he leaves—

I’m sorry.

—with a heavy and broken heart.



I’m sorry.





Why does this always happen to me? Yunho asks himself. Just when he thought things are getting better for him…

“You don’t have the right, Jaejoong. You don’t have the right.” He mutters, slamming the beer bottle on the table hard. “You can’t just barge in my life and gain my trust then betray me like this. No, , you can’t do that to me.”

He thinks that maybe it would’ve been better if Jaejoong kept his mouth shut. If he couldn’t take the guilt anymore, he’s free to leave. Of course Yunho would try to stop him and asks dozens of questions but if he really wanted to, Yunho’s words wouldn’t matter. He already pulled a Junsu, why not go all the way. With the way Jaejoong’s handling it, it’s like leaving would make things better.

But it wouldn’t.  Or maybe it would. Yunho doesn’t know.

If Jaejoong just left, then fine, okay, Yunho can handle that. He’ll get over it eventually. But Jaejoong didn’t have to leave and spill his secrets. No, he’s not allowed to do that. He’s not allowed to break Yunho’s already broken heart.

“Tsk. Traitor.”





“If that wall could talk, it would’ve kicked you in the balls already.” Yunho flashes a soft smile at the figure, eyes staring at him in surprise, confusion…and is that longing? “It’s been a while, Jaejoong.”

Five years.

It hasn’t been long since Yunho decided that it was time to stop moping around and get real because who’s he kidding? He misses Jaejoong. Sure, the man tried to kill him and that hurts. But hw  has his reasons and besides, he chose not to go on with it and come clean. It’s not something unforgivable. And if Jaejoong tries to kill him again this time, then so be it. Guilt will eat him up alive.

Although he’s certain that no such thing would happen.

Jaejoong had been nothing but a really good friend to him. He was there when he needed someone, anyone. He cheered him up, helped him and took care of him. Jaejoong, he realized, was what kept him alive at his lowest. And it would be utterly selfish of him if he doesn’t give him another chance.

“Yunho yah…” Jaejoong breathes out, blinking his tears away.

“I missed you.” Yunho replies, taking a step towards him.

“How did you…” His words are muffled by Yunho’s shirt when the latter envelopes him in a tight hug.

“Hired a private investigator. Followed you. You didn’t have to go as far as Busan, you know…”

“I…I thought you’re mad at me.”

Pulling away, Yunho cups Jaejoong’s face, wiping his tears gently. “I was. Until I realized how important you are to me. Took me a long time though.”

Jaejoong nods, hands all over Yunho as if wanting to make sure he’s real and not just a figment of his imagination. “Yes. A long time.”

“I missed you.” Yunho repeats, kissing his hand. “Promise me you’ll never leave me again.”

“But Yunho, we’re—“

“I know, but that’s the least of my concerns. No one knows about that except us. They don’t have to know. Please, Jae…I’ve waited long enough, so have you. Please give us a chance.”

“As much as I want to say no, I can’t, my heart’s telling me otherwise.”

And Yunho leans in, pressing his lips against Jaejoong’s soft ones. There are still questions running through their minds but that could wait. They have all the time in the world. Right now, they have some catching up to do.