Youngguk's POV

 

Blood drips from the walls, streams along the ceilings as it pools around me. Distantly, I can hear someone desperately calling my name, the wind carrying their urgent voice to my ears. Wind... Inside an empty room, the voices far, far away yet their cries piercing, almost deafening.

 

I draw my gun from my side, aiming it anywhere; everywhere. My eyes dart around the place, alert for any sign of movement, any target to focus on.

 

Suddenly, screams erupt around me; the screams of all the victims I’d been too late to save. Their pitched voices causing the fine hairs on my arms to raise. Faces flash by me, some dead, some on the verge of dying. Flashes of different lives, flashes of the brutality of their fates, the injustice and pain they’d been suffering.

 

I can see them all, disappearing as quickly as they’d come, replaced by instantly by another’s.

 

But then, suddenly, one flash takes form, a 3D impermeable image, of a boy... No older than 18. I can see him so clearly, walking through an alleyway late at night, stumbling slightly tipsy in the dark.

 

It’s like watching the beginning of a horror movie... you know something bad is bound to happen.

 

And, much too correct, the outline of a figure, highlighted by the moonlight, appears behind him as he shadows the boy. I can see the nervousness on the young boy’s face, his head twisting over his shoulder as he picks up his pace, his eyes darting. And then, in a flash too quick to be human, the stalker appears right behind him.

                                                

It was ironic... The worst thing most people would’ve assumed could happen was being mugged. Even I would’ve been relieved at the sight of a knife flashing, the stalker running off with his pockets full, leaving the boy dry, but alive.

 

Even murder wouldn’t have been too bad.

 

Yet...  I knew from the moment he flashed his fangs, the canines of a predator, that that boy was doomed. Not doomed for death, but for much, much worse.

The fate which makes death seem like a gift.

 

And in a moment, the stalker has his fangs buried deep within the neck of its victim, its claws digging into the sides of the boy, forcing him to keep still, keep silent.

 

I reach out desperately, hopelessly, as the scene unfolds before me. Yet, my hands simply pass through the virtual video as if it didn’t exist, as if it was nothing more than air. I can only watch uselessly as the boy struggles against its predator, a Corrupted, in a futile struggle. A struggle that has its victorious decided before it’d even begun.

 

Suddenly, the boy’s eyes flashes to mine, as if he’d just realized I was there. He looks at me with nothing by hopelessness and despair, the light leaving the boy’s eyes as the Corrupted proceeds to feed on his torn neck.

 

“...Help” And with that, his head rolls back, the Corrupted digging its claws further into the boy, clutching it closer as it devours the corpse.

 

And then, the virtual image of the scene flickers, like a TV losing its cable connection. Within moments, the flickering increased, until the scene was gone.

 

Yet a small pool of the victim’s blood remained on the concrete floor, the only manifested part of the scene. A reminder of what I couldn’t save.

 

“Youngguk.”

 

A reminder that no matter how many Corrupted I shot dead, there would always be more. Always be victims which I couldn’t save in time.

 

“Youngguk. Wake up.”

 

Perhaps this was the irony of fate?

 

“-Guk. It’s time to-“

 

Or perhaps it was the balance of life?

 

“Youngguk-- ARGH! A familiar voice shouted.

 

I opened my eyes, met by Daehyun’s vivid ones. My hand was grasped around his neck, causing him to choke as he stared at me in desperation. “Ple-“ He managed, his voice strained with struggle.

 

Let him go! A voice shouted, yet faint like it was far away.

 

I could feel his pulse slowing down, each beat slower than the last. His silent screams, his weakening struggles as he laid suffocating beneath my hand.

 

And yet I didn’t move.

 

Yet I couldn’t bring myself to let him go.

 

Death... It’s so fragile. What would it be like... To end his life?

 

His determined struggles turned to lifeless attempts of hopelessness, his eye lids beginning to droop as my nails dug into his flesh.

 

If I killed him... Right here, right now.

 

The pulse only decreased as he laid motionless.

Suddenly, the voice screamed in my head, its piercing shriek like an explosion from the inside.

 

He’s not one of them!

 

Immediately, as if my hand responded to the voice, I let go, stumbling to the back wall; my back crashing against it with painful thud.

 

What the ?

 

I blinked, my mind finally reaching full consciousness.

 

I’m losing it. I really am.

 

I watched silently over the still body.

 

No...

 

I sprung over, my hand reaching desperately for his neck. His eyelids were closed, his face in the most serene expression.

 

Daehyun... please.

 

 My trembling fingers searched frantically for a pulse. I could feel tears threatening; but at this point, I didn’t care.

The only thing mattered was that pulse.

 

And then, so very faint I almost missed it, I could feel it, beating weakly at my fingertips.

 

“Daehyun?” I whispered, my voice laced with fear.

 

“Daehyun!?” I repeated, my voice stronger. And then, as if in slow motion, his eyelids fluttered, heavy as he opened them to look at me.

 

“Youngguk?” He asked, his voice hoarse, raspy.

 

“Dae...” I didn’t know what to say. No words could sum up my relief; my gratitude. I could only look at him, happiness and ease like an avalanche within me.

 

I could’ve killed him

 

I nearly did.

 

I’ve heard it happen before; the results of shellshock; of obsession. I’ve witnessed people like me, Saviours, lose everything. And eventually all that becomes left of them... is a shell; a mask; a disguise of who they’d used to be. I’ve known people to commit suicide because their mind had seen too much; the memories of what they’ve done too heavy to bear.

 

And those who didn’t chose to end their own lives... chose to end others. As a relief to their own bottomless suffering.

 

Yet, I never thought I’d be like that. I never thought I’d get to the point where I wouldn’t know  who I was anymore.

I never thought I’d become so... Lost.

 

“Youngguk... what the just happened?” His voice brought me back to reality.

 

“I’m sorry.” I said. “I was... Dreaming.” I didn’t know myself if that was a lie or not... I had been dreaming, but... Was that the only reason?

I got up, and walked away from him, my mind racing.

 

He sat up, his face betraying the struggle of doing so. I could feel guilt eating me up inside, leaving a bitter taste in my throat.

 

“Dreaming?” He asked, giving me sceptic look as he kept rubbing his neck. Man to man, he wasn’t about to blurt out his emotions anytime soon.

 

Yet, the hurt was clear in his eyes.

 

“Whatever.” He said, his voice taking on a colder tone.

“Chief needs us down in 10.” He began to walk towards the door, stumbling slightly. “And he doesn’t look happy.” He said, his words heavy.

 

“Oh?” I asked. Not all surprising... Chief was never happy. And I suppose I understood why; this Corrupted matter wasn’t a joking one. It was kill or be killed. No one, aware of these Infected, would ever be happy until we’d burnt the very last ones down into a pile of ash.

 

With a final look, a mixture of doubt and sympathy, he closed the door, leaving me alone in my solitude.

 

I fell to my knees, unable to help myself. Was it possible... Was it possible to become as lost as one of them without having to be infected? I could feel the earlier tears spill over, landing softly on my shirt.

 

Was it possible, that I was losing myself? That I really was becoming... Insane?

 

I don’t feel insane  A stubborn voice inside of me whispered. Then again... I suppose they never do. It’s always the twisted ones who see themselves normal; and everybody else the physco’s; the villain never see themselves evil.

 

I don’t want to lose who I am.

 

I don’t want to lose being a Saviour, a warrior of the better.

 

I don’t want to forget what I do, and why I do it.

 

Because if I do...

Then what’s left of me?

 

“I see you’ve chosen to join us, Mr. Bang” Chief asked, a tight smile on his lips he glared at me.

 

I walked inside, ruffling my hand in my hair as I muttered an insincere apology, 20 pairs of judging eyes on me. I looked over to the clock on the wall: 5:03am. Three minutes late. Sue me.

The room, essentially, was an excuse for  an ancient cave. The stone walls were lined with dust; covering the sole lamp hanging from the ceiling; making the light dim. There was a table in the middle; which was covered in maps, notes and papers.

 

“What’s going on?” I asked. Even for us... This was a lot of maps, with a lot of annotations around the sheets.

 

Everyone around me remained silent.

 

 I looked at Daehyun for answers, his eyes hard as he stared at the table, avoiding my gaze.

 

“A raid?” I guessed, taking one of the sheets. Another day of the job, then.

 

“200” Daehyun said, his voice low and deep.

 

“200?” I asked. 200 guns? Daggers? Bullets?

 

“200 Corrupted. Fresh.” He said, taking a step backwards as he moved to my side.

 

I felt my knees go weak, my breath catch in my throat. 200... Of them.

 

New?

 

A new Corrupted was always the worst: No control of their own for the first 5 years of having been infected. They were unstable, unpredictable, and most of all: untrustworthy. Their only focus only on food, survival and the pleasure in killing.

Their memories torn from them; their bodies the shell of what was once there.  They’re animals, nothing more, nothing less.

 

The dead Saviours... Few had died in battle. Many died from showing mercy; compassion, even if just the blink of an eye, towards one. For thinking there was still hope. Still a chance they could be saved.

There wasn’t.

They were dead, inside. The person they’d once been already decayed; their soul lost long, long ago.

 

“How...?” I whispered.

 

Chief cleared his throat, gaining everybody’s instant attention. “Unaware to our radars, there’s been a raid brewing; increasing in numbers for the past 3 years. A source confirmed this to us yesterday. We believe they are located....” He looked down at the map, his finger hovering over the sheet. “There.” He said, pointing with his index finger.

 

I walked over next to him, eyes fixed on the spot his index finger was at.

 

I narrowed my eyes. Can’t be... the Central

 

“Warehouse. It’s in the basement below.” He said, reading my thoughts. Strange. Most nest-locations were in abandoned buildings, outside of city and the alike.

 

“When do we move?” Someone asked from my right.

 

“In exactly 24minutes” He said, checking his watch.

 

I looked at Daehyun, who’s eyes expressed my feelings perfectly.

 

“How many of us are going?” Daehyun asked, grabbing his gun and loading his bullets. The others were shuffling around, talking instinctively to each other.

 

“10. With back-up on speed-dial.” He said, packing up the maps and giving them to a security.

 

10.

 

10 against 200.

20 against them per one of us.

 

My highest record has been 13 in a night. And even then, I was hospitalized for a week.

 

I didn’t need to ask the chances of survival, because we all knew the answer: Slim. Slim to zero.

 

“Oh and guys?” Chief said, just as security was dressing us up in all kinds of gear and weapons.

 

We all looked at him, eyebrows raised.

 

“No matter what happens, even if we fail. Make sure of one thing.” He said, tucking his gun into the holster on his belt.

 

“Get out alive.” 

 

 

A/N: Heyy Guiseee <3 

Okay so first: apologies about how late and ty this chapter is... Not much action; because I wanted to save that FOR THE COMPLETLY FILLED ACTION CHAPTERS COMING UP NEXT!! like; this is just the boring stuffz i need to get through to get to the real juicy bits ;)

And i'm sorry this is late: I just reached so many subsrcribers on my other fic Animal Love, and had a moment of existental crisis where I was going: "What am i doiiiing..?" whilst banging my head on the keyboard.

Yeah not fun. xD

But yeah; I am also horrifically ill at the moment, and my mind feels like a gooey ball of.... gooeyness within my skull. All the exams have been killing me recently and I just feeling like sleeping through it all. :(

I also had to have an injection today... And you know all those horrible needle-related stories you hear but never really believe?

Yeah, the "risk" of the needle SNAPPING IN YOUR ARM is very much real, as my doctor proved today so expertly. 

I am now bandaged up on my entire left arm (cuz they had to find that ing needle piece) and weak with all the weird drugs I was prescribed (its my hormone leves; nothing big) and feel like sleeping and giggling at the same time (not a good combo).

I'll try to update regularly. I'm trying to work out a scheme for a updates timetable and its not going that well -.- But anyways.

Thank you all so much for reading <3 I know this chapter isnt up to the standard as the others but all I can say is that Yes, it will get better (particularly in the 2 chapters to come - I have a plan ;)

Update soon<3