I have a girlfriend but i don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t care whether you’re married, involved, single or divorced. Let’s be here for each other, let’s be here for each other in silence. For you it will be just an adventure but it will mean so much more to me.

Kibum doesn’t think it’ll be only an adventure for him. For the first time in his life he replies to a gay personal ad. He’s tired of being lonely, tired of being asked about why he doesn’t have anyone. He’s tired and determined but yet not ready for a ‘real’ relationship which is why the ad caused an immediate reaction in him.


I’m also in a relationship but somehow, I lack a soul mate.
-K.


The ‘relationship’ refers to a Spanish guy he sometimes chats with. He doesn’t want to sound desperate, he doesn’t want to reveal the fact that he’s never been in a relationship, never kissed, never had . His ual orientation is enough to make him all nervous and unsure when meeting new people, his total lack of experience only doubles the problem.
It’s not like he’s not attractive or feels no need to be close to someone. He just doesn’t want to give himself into the hands of some stranger than will only use him and leave with nothing.
He wants a soul mate. A real soul mate.
The rest can wait.



I feel lonely too. Why don’t we meet on Thursday?
-J.



Kibum gains a soul mate. One he’ll never be able to forget.




Whenever Jonghyun tells him about Sekyung, he feels quite conflicted. On the one hand, he’s happy that Jonghyun is happy; on the other hand, he can’t fight the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Sekyung doesn’t exist and Jonghyun makes her up just to keep some kind of a distance between them (which begins to be harder and harder to keep).
But it all stops when Jonhyun brings him something.
Kibum also brings something. Last time they met, they discovered that they both love writing letters. Most of the people they know don’t do that, it’s considered as a needless, old-fashioned waste of time and paper, but for them it’s the most exciting and romantic way to communicate.
That time, Jonghyun said that he’d love to write letters to someone, but there’s no one he could write to.
So Kibum got that absolutely crazy idea, bought blue stationery and wrote a letter to Jonghyun.
Now, as they’re sitting in their favourite café, togheter on a sofa, so close to each other, they both say:
“I have something to show you.”
They laugh and then, again together, say “you go first”. In the end Jonghyun is the one to first reveal what he brought with him.
“Remember how I told you we had that photo session with Sekyung once?” he asks and draws a thick envelope out of his bag. Kibum’s eyes widen.
Of course he remembers, he just didn’t think Jonghyun was being serious.
But he was, Kibum realizes, as the older boy opens the envelope and reveals a collection of photos in black and white.
There’s Jonghyun and a girl. The girl. They laugh, make funny faces, kiss, touch each other, and Kibum feels how hard it is for him to keep the smile on his face, as he sees every next photo. There’s one photo on which Jonghyun is completely ; the lighting and a chair seen on the picture make his body look less than it really is, but Kibum can’t help but linger his gaze on the picture a bit longer than he should. He feels Jonghyun shift beside him.
He skims through other pictures, all filled with those two lovey-dovey persons and suddenly he feels how lonely he really is. He wants Jonghyun to be a brutal sadist that will push him against the wall and him like a beast. He wants him to choke him, to be obsessed with him, to not be able to keep his hands away from him. He wants Jonghyun to take the initiative, he wants him to be the seducer, he wants him to desire him.
But Sekyung looks so pretty and so in love that he can only pretend that it doesn’t hurt him.
He knew that, he ing knew that one day he’d want something more than just a soul mate.
He says that photos are beautiful (they are), gives Jonghyun the letter, watches the latter’s face lit up in shock and bliss and decides that from now on, he’ll do anything to win Jonghyun’s body. His heart is already occupied and he doesn’t want to ruin his happiness. But if Jonghyun placed an ad on a gay site then it meant he wanted a man. Kibum doesn’t want to be the third one, doesn’t want to be just a toy, but if it’s the only way to feel Jonghyun’s closeness, he’ll do anything.