chapter twenty-nine 

 000029.

 

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"Hey you there--little girl with pretty braids." a big man called. I looked around me to see if he really is referring to me and my braids. When I saw that there is no one else around wearing braids, I approached him hesitantly. My parents always told me that all strangers are dangerous but the fluffy and colorful cotton candies around the man begs to say otherwise. Sweet things could never be that bad.

 

 

 

"Are you talking to me ajusshi?" I asked him. I can barely see his face because he's so tall and the cotton candies are covering his face. You might want to add the fact that I'm small that is why I can't see him clearly.

 

 

 

Then he get that one orange cotton candy that was covering his face and I finally get to see a glimpse at his face. He looks really--sturdy. Sorry. I'm not good at describing things. Even though he's smiling, his face still looks rough. And those dark lines under his eyes tell me that things aren't going well with his life these days.

 

 

 

"Here. Have a snack." and he gave me the candy.

 

 

 

"Are you really giving this to me for free ajusshi?" I asked him.

 

 

 

"Eo. Free service for cute children like you." he said. I looked at him intensly.

 

 

 

"But, if you give this for free--then you'd be poor." I said. It's true. I know that it seems odd for me to understand things like this provided with my age but what can I do? I live in a household where shares and stocks are just one of the most common topics in front of the dinner table.

 

 

 

The man laughed and covered his face. He seems really tired. "I know. You are right. I am poor. It's not like I wanted to end up this way but that man made me like this. I don't want to do this but he left me with no other choice." he said. The words that just came out of his mouth are too odd for me to understand. His expressions are light but his words and his eyes say otherwise.

 

 

 

"Anywaysm here is your cotton candy little girl." he smiled at me again. He looks scary but I must admit, he has a warm smile. He must be having a hard time now but I know that when things are better, he could also be happy.

 

 

 

"Who is 'that person' that you're referring to?" I asked. He looked at me and smiled. His eyes disappear and the lines on his face grow more emphasized when he does.

 

 

 

"The man who ruined my life." 

 

 

 

I felt a certain chill that I can't understand when he said those words. But his expressions changed again and I was distracted bu the free cotton candy that he is giving me. And on top of that, it has my favorite color so--I got it with a wide smile on my face.

 

 

 

"Do you always give free sweets to all children?"

 

 

 

"Ani, this is the only time I will do it." He leaned to me and whispered. "...and I only give free things to pretty children." he said and I smiled.

 

 

 

"Then--can you give me another one?" I asked.

 

 

 

"Eo? Is one not enough for you?" the man asked, amused by my sudden request.

 

 

 

"Aniyo. It's not for me. It for my sister over there." I pointed at my sister who is playing with the ball a few feet away from us. Her wavy hair flowing with the wind. I was always awed by my twin sister's hair. It seems like it flows with her own being. "You see, she's pretty too and she would love to have one." I said.

 

 

 

The man nodded. "Alright. Pick away then." he said. I picked the pink one. I always thought pink suits my sister very well.

 

 

 

"Waah. Suzy will love this." I said.

 

 

 

"What did you say?" the man asked me. 

 

 

 

"I said my sister Suzy would love this. Kamsahamnida ajusshi [Thank you mr.]" I bowed to him clinging on to the two cotton candies.

 

 

 

"Wait a minute." he called me and I turned to him. "W-what was your name again?" he asked me.

 

 

 

"Ne?"

 

 

"Your name." his voice firmer this time. "What is your name." the warmth from his eyes had completely disappeared.

 

 

 

"K-Krystal. Choi Krystal." I answered---and I have never been so scared with one's look in all my life.

 

 

 

 

<:>

 

 

 

Saying my name to that ajusshi was the worst decision I had ever made in my life.

 

 

 

That was the start of everything. The start of all the tragedies and dramas in my life. I never thought that people knowing my name could be such a dangerous thing. Until now I still think of the things that might happen if I returned to those moments. Those darkest moments of my life. I once swore that if I could, I would definitely do everything to undo all the things I've done. I would do anything to fix what I did wrong.

 

 

 

But looking back at what I've just done a few moments ago---I knew that I was wrong.

 

 

My mistakes echoed my ears as I hear Suzy screaming, asking for my help---AGAIN. My steps are heavy and my tears just kept on falling like it is the most natural thing to do. My lips were quivering and I had to put my hand over them just for it to stop shaking.

 

 

 

I just refused to help my sister.

 

I left her in that dark pit when she asked me to show her the light.

 

 

 

I reached for the nearest wall cause the strength in my legs are depleting and I think I'm going to fall soon. I felt my knees wobble and I collapsed near the wall. I lean my head towards it and cupped my face with my hands.

 

 

 

 

 

I did it again.

 

I did it again.

 

 

 

 

<:>

 

 

 

"Now Krystal, stay somewhere near us alright. Always keep an eye for your sister." mom said as she went on with her business. She's now setting the barbecue grill up for our dinner. Today is actually the very first time we went out as a whole family. The first time our parents found time to spare for us, their kids.

 

 

 

I guess this is the drawback for being the daughters of the owner of one of the dominating companies in the country. Our name also has connections around the globe. All things can be done just by the mention of our name. The drawback? We don't have anyone to trust.

 

 

 

We were taught that those people we do not know only has one purpose. That is to drag our family down.

 

 

 

It sickens me whenever we have parties in our house and I see all these people talking and laughing together knowing that they are silently scheming for a plan to ruin that person's life. All these horrible things--were done just for the sake of power and money.

 

 

 

All my life, I grew up being with Suzy. We did all things together. We never left each other's side. What can I say? I just love my twin sister that much. It actually bothers me what our future would look like. What would happen if she found someone that she would like. I mean, those marriage person kind of like. And waht would happen if I did too? Waah. I'm guessing it would be fun. I can talk to her about him and the things that we did and we could talk about them too.

 

 

 

Aaah. That would be nice.

 

 

 

I looked at Suzy and she's still playing with the flowers. I called her name and she iimmediately looked at me and smiled. I walked to her and joined her little world. Compared to me, Suzy is the bright and happy type. She just has this trait that draws youto her, which is why I love being with her. She patches up the empty part in me. I'm not actually the sunshine type of person. I make mistakes, I may be greedy at times--but who cares right? I have a sister by my side.

 

 

 

I looked at the other side of the park. And a tiny smile ghosted my lips.

 

 

 

"Suzy-ah." I said and she looked at me. My gaze still not leaving that side of the park.

 

 

 

"Do you want to see the sky?"

 

 

 

<:>

 

 

 

My heart kept hammering my chest. It was my fault. It was all my fault.  A part of me wanted to go back in there and save Suzy, I know I should. But the dark side of my being holds me back. The thing that actually scares me the most that time was seeing how Suzy would look like. How she would look like when I open the door of the truck. I was afraid of the look on her face when she sees me, her sister who pushed her into facing her own death. I don't want to see the spark in her eyes turn into fury and disgust.

 

 

 

I hated myself for not trying so hard to save her.

 

I hated myself for asking her to come with me.

 

And now, I hate myself for doing the things I hated all over again.

 

 

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