February 21st.

Year 2012.

Tuesday.

1:43 P.M.

The day of their fourth anniversay.

Yes you read right.

I care about their fourth anniversary.

It's also the fourth year of my regret.

The day that I regret the most.

The day I should've confessed to my bestfriend Janna.

Four years ago to yesterday, Joonmyun had asked me if it was okay for him to court her.

Her.

MY bestfriend.

MY Janbo (Janna + pabo)

MY Janndong (Janna + city because cities are interesting and so is she)

MY Jannieaahh (Janna's coined nickname because of how I call her)

The love of MY life.

I regret that I said it was okay.

That was the worst mistake I did.

I should've told her how I felt.

But I couldn't risk our friendship.

It was too much. 

Four years back then was too much for me to lose her.

Eight years now is just unbearable.

Song Janna.

She's my bestfriend.

She's always there.

I love her.

I will. Always.

The most painful thing?

It's because she's always there.

She's there.

Just there.

Almost within my grasp.

Always there.

For eight years she's there

And not here. 

She's there with another man.

But at least she's happy.

No!

I can't let her be happy.

Look I might seem bitter but I'm not.

I can't let her be happy,

without me.