“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another man. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.” 
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

So here's a oneshot for jerbie18, well I'm going to make it into a short story. I'm sorry, my Joonmyun feels..

hope you like it <3

Inspired by JYJ's In Heaven and Nell's The Day Before

*Chapter point of view is by Suho in case you get confused.

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February 21st.

Year 2012.

Tuesday.

1:43 P.M.

The day of our fourth anniversay.

Yes. You read right.

Me and Janna are now dating for four years.

Janna and I started dating four years ago to this day.

I was so happy and I still am.

I'm planning to propose to her today.

Later this evening.

I already told her we would eat dinner at our favorite restaurant.

I gave her an outfit she could wear so she won't have a dillema today, I just want this day to be happy for her, with no worries.

I already bought an engagement ring. An opal ring. Diamonds are to common and opals used as engagement rings are unique, just like her.

I wasn't sure at first if I would propose to her.

But then I thought, four years Joonmyun, that's how long you've loved each other.

You've already graduated, you and Janna have stable jobs.

You're a journalist and she's an editor.

Song Janna, she's your everything.

So I agreed with myself. Oh my that sounds so weird. if Janna were to find out I was talking myself into---

Oh sorry.

Where was I?

Oh yes.

Song Janna.

The girl of my dreams that became reality.

I love her so much.

Let me tell you more about her.

Song Janna.

22.

Born on May 14, 1990.

Editing Assistant at a local newspaper.

In a stable relationship.

Has a beautiful family with a caring mother and a loving father, two brothers named Jisun and Taekyung.

I already met them. They were so kind to me. I met them on the third day of our relationship, I didn't want to keep secrets from her family. She did otherwise for mine.

I met her bestfriend long before that and I asked him if it was okay if I courted his bestfriend.

He said it was okay.

I was so happy.

Luhan approved of us, the hardest critict, the bestfriend.

I asked him the day before I asked her.

She said yes.

I was so happy.

And now I get to ask her if she would like to be by my side,

today and forever.

I hope she says yes.

i hope it sounds just like the 'yes' she gave me four years ago.

She had that smile on that I love so much.

She was so happy.

And I could see that happening on our wedding day.

I could make her happy.

today and forever.