"Whether it be unrequited love or first love, there's got to be some happy memories, right?"
-Enrique Geum, Flower Boy Next Door

"How many meaning could the word 'sorry' have? Sadness and wounds. Misunderstanding and reflection. Regret and reconciliation. There are countless of emotions inside."

-Go Dok Mi, Flower Boy Next Door

*Chapter is Suho's point of view

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February 21st.

Tuesday.

11:46 P.M.

Hello.

I was too caught up telling you about Song Janna that I never got to tell you about myself.

Kim Joonmyun.

The heartbroken man.

Born on May 22, 1991.

Journalist at a local newspaper.

In an unstable relationship.

I have no family left, including Janna.

I only had two friends.

Had.

Janna and Luhan.

The two whom I trusted the most.

I love Janna because she's the girl of my dreams.

I loved Luhan too, he's the best.

I thought Janna loved me, and I thought Luhan cared.

But now, they ran away.

Together.

Can I blame them?

They just loved each other that's all.

At the wrong place, in the wrong time.

And Janna?

She loved the wrong person.

Me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From now on, I'll always think of myself as the wrong person.

I was the problem all along.

Oh look, she texted me.

'I'm sorry Joonmyun. We're over. I'm with Luhan now. It's not you, it's me.'

Classic.

How can she break up with me through a text? With a cheesy line? Seriously Janna?

But that's the thing.

I anticipated this.

She's too shy to break up with me in person.

Shy?

Now I realize,

she's more of a coward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I sent her a text.

'You're breaking up with me? Why?' I asked, as if I already don't know. I just want her to say it to me herself.

'It's complicated.'

She really is a coward.

'Please just let me see you, I have to say something to you.'

'What is it?'

'I'll just say it to you in person.'

'Okay. I hope this isn't the last time I speak to you Joonmyun. I want to be in good terms with you.'

Tch. "Good terms". Good terms my .

'Okay.'

'Good. Where do we meet?'

'Where we first saw each other.'

'Okay, Cherry Blossom Gardens in Yunjungno. What time then? '

'The exact time we met.'

'2:34 P.M. Got it.'

'See you there.'

'See you.'

I wanted to type I love you, but then I remembered.

Oh right.

She's not mine anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 22nd.

Year 2012.

2:30 P.M.

I'm here.

Four minutes left.

I think I regret choosing this place.

It's not as beautiful as when we first met.

All of these trees bloomed.

Unlike now which have no flowers, almost,dead. Like our love. It was like that from the start.

It was the time of the Cherry Blossom Festival.

It was love at first sight for the both of us.

Oh, right.

For me.

Four years of unrequited love.

She was my real first love.

I miss her.

Even if it's just one day that I didn't get to see her.

I want to see those smiles once again.

The laughter we shared.

The pain.

The tears.

The affection.

The memories.

Even if it's unrequited love, I still want those times back.

But now, I realize, I don't miss her.

I miss the memories I had with her.

Those four years of unrequited love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2:34 P.M.

 

She's here.

She faced me.

'Why? What is it Joonmyun?' 

'Why are you breaking up with me?'

'Look I already said it okay? It's me. I don't owe you an explanation.'

'Okay but you owe me an answer.'

'What now?'

'Why are you being such a coward?'

'What just because we broke up, does not mean you can insult me.'

'Why don't you tell me the real reason?'

'Real reason? Behind what?'

'Oh like you don't know.'

'I don't know what you're talking about just leave me alone!' She shrugged and turned her back on me.

'Okay. Have a nice life with Luhan.' She turned around again to face me. Shock was evident on her face.

'Ho-how did you know?'

'I saw it all.'  All of it, it kept replaying in my head. If you only knew.

'I-I'm sorry.'

'I don't need an apology.'

'Then what do you need Joonmyun? If you want me to go back to you I can't. Not Anymore. I love Luhan now.'

'Haven't you always loved Luhan?'

'...'

'and why are you saying sorry? Are you feeling sorry for me? Or do you feel sorry for yourself because you don't want to be guilty?'

'Look I don't mean to-'

'What? You didn't mean what? You didn't mean to love me?'

'Look I wanted to love you. I really did but I loved Luhan too much that I couldn't.'

'If you really loved him, then you should have told him that four years ago. It would've saved us precious time, energy, money,and effort. And it would've saved me from a heartbreak. Don't you know you're my first love Janna? It hurt like a when I found out that those four years were just a joke to you.'

'I'm sorry Joonmyun. Don't think that I didn't love you. I did.'

'Just not the same as how I loved you.'

'Look Joonmyun, I'm really sorry, can we stay as friends?'

'Actually Janna, saying that statement is like saying that "The dog may be dead but we can still keep it." . Yesterday, I wanted you to be my wife. Now, I just want you to stop being a coward.'

'I-I'm really sorry.' She sobs. A lot of people are looking at us right now. All of them are giving me judgemental stares. If only they knew.

'Well I'm sorry too, I'm sorry that I've wasted your four years that you should've been with Luhan. I hope when we see each other again, you won't be a coward anymore.'

'Yes sir.' She smiled forcefully. I smiled along with her. I'm not mad. I just feel hurt.

'And please be happy with Luhan.'

'I will Joon. Like I should've been with you.'

'I just said don't be a coward. Don't be afraid to love him and be happy with him more than you should have with me.'

'Thank you.'

'Luhan is a lucky guy.'

'I was lucky to have you in my life Joon, I didn't regret those four years. And don't be a coward after this okay?'

'What? Why would I be?'

'Don't be afraid to love again Joonmyun. Any girl you want deserves you.' Yeah. Just not you. The girl I want.

'Okay. I love you. Invite me to your wedding with Luhan someday arrasso?'

'Arraso. I love you too Joon. Live the rest of your life as a happy person, like you deserve to be'

'Okay. Thank you. Goodbye. Goodluck with Luhan.'

'Thanks Joon. Don't say goodbye. But 'till we meet again. Live happy.' We hugged and we left the scene.

She went to Luhan and I went,

 

home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Janna?

Can you see me living a happy life?

I am happy for you and Luhan.

I kept my promise.

I'm happy.

Just not alive.

You killed me from the inside.

I just had to take care of the outside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am happy now.

I'm in a happier place.

Don't be a coward anymore.

Love Luhan with all your heart.

Be happy together. It's your turn.

You already got married, now go have lots and lots of babies!

I'm always here for you and Luhan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't ever forget that I love you Song Janna.