Second : The Baby and The Toddler
Why is This My Life?
"Can you—can you stop doing that?"
Youngjae sighed as he rubbed his aching head. God, the used-to-be-pretty-eyed boy has been staring at him for what feels like centuries and heck, he didn't even blink. Okay, seriously. Is everyone in this house has a staring habit?. Youngjae has to hold the urge to shove a 'Watch-Your-Manners-' book on their faces mercilessly. Especially that Daehyun guy. Oh, how he hates that little moron. But really, they should learn some manners. The boy beside him doesn't budge, he kept staring at Youngjae with those big, curious eyes. Without blinking, of course.
"Uhh, please please can you just—"
"Oh my God! Dae-hyung was right!"
The boy suddenly cut him as he bounced like a 5 years old who ate too much candy. He looks absolutely surprised and that scares the out of Youngjae. Oh, but wait. What did Dae-moron told his stupid group this time?.
"Squishy-hyung is squishy, check! Squishy-hyung is cute, check!", the boy checked some list on his tab which miraculously appeared—this boy and Himchan must be wizards—on his hand, "Squishy-hyung is fluffy, check! Squishy-hyung is deaf, ch—"
"I. AM. NOT. DEAF"
"Oh", the boy stopped checking the list. His lips gaping, trying to say some words but failed. God, he looks devastated. He looks like someone just told him that he would be dead tomorrow. And sheesh, Youngjae feels really guilty now.
"A-are you alri—"
"Yaaay!! Dae-hyung is not right!!"
Wow this kid really needs to know that cutting older people when they're talking is really impolite. Really really impolite. Please remind Youngjae to give this giant baby a 'How To Be Polite' lesson later.
"You know what, Squishy-hyung? Everytime a new guy come, Dae-hyung will observe him with his super awesome observing skill but he is always wrong! He is never ever right! Not even once! Isn't that cool?", the kid blabbered happily.
What.
Okay. First, maybe he means, 'super-ty-observing-skill'. Second, no, that's so uncool. Everything about that idiot is not cool. And third, is everyone a rapper in this house?!. Hell, this boy is even faster than Yongguk.
"Umm, what's your name?", Youngjae tried to start a—normal and sane—conversation.
"I am Junhong but everyone calls me Baby Zelo! Yeah, I don't even know when how and why did I get that weird nickname. I'm a college student you know? I'm old! I'm not a baby anymore!. Once I browsed 'Zelo' on the internet and wooow, it's the God of rivalry's name!. But why rivalry? Why not Nacho? He is the God of deliciousness! It would be so awe—HMMMPH!!"
Youngjae tried so hard to keep covering the struggling boy's mouth. Ugh, he should just tape or sew that motor mouth.
"Stop it and gosh, Nacho is not a God's name it's a food!"
"WHAT—so my whole life was a lie? Crap! I shouldn't have believed Jonguppie-hyung! He is a liar! A ty liar! Just wait, hyung, I'll strangle you with your own intestines toni—HMMPH!!"
"Son", Youngjae sighed, "just don't".
"HMMPH—OH MY GOD! YOU ALMOST KILLED ME! OH GOD WAIT! Are—are you Jongup-hyung's subordinate?! What did he tell you?! What did he want?! D-did he—HMMMPH!!"
"NO. SHUT UP"
Damn this kid and his potty motor-mouth. Someday Youngjae will be this stupid family's private manner teacher. Yeah, someday.
"Oh!", Youngjae suddenly remembered, "were you guys umm—fighting?", Youngjae asked carefully. Just in case if behind his cute face this boy is just as wild as Yongguk.
"Huh? Yeah! It was hard to fight Dae-hyung! But luckily he is super stupid, he couldn't do any special technique. It's his own fault to read the guidebook because meh, the book is a lie, you know? He should learn from me, I just randomly pressed the buttons and see? I won! Other hyungs are the same, aah It's so good to have stupid hyungs!"
Wait. So that was only video game?. Youngjae doesn't know if he should feel glad or mad. Glad because they are not seriously fighting and mad because wow, this boy just called his hyungs stupid. S-T-U-P-I-D. That's mean, and rude, and harsh, and no, this little innocent kid can't say such filthy words. Youngjae will show him that he is not stupid like Junhong's other hyungs. Then he would never call anybody stupid anymore. Never.
"Okay, can you show me Daehyun's room, then?"
"Sure! Follow me Squishy-hyung!"
....and Squishy. Yeah, that's mean too.
----
Daehyun's room looks normal. There are bunk beds, a wardrobe, a bookshelf, a door, a window, well, it's just like any other bedrooms. Except the colorful kites which cover the wall and even the ceiling. Is he a kite collector or what? Maybe he has almost all kind and shape of kite. Gosh, is that a Wonbin kite? His perfect face looks ridiculous there. Sheesh, as a fanboy of Wonbin, Youngjae swears he would mutilate anyone who made that crappy kite. And yes, he is serious. Youngjae stopped walking when he saw a really huge kite—almost as wide as the wall—beside the wardrobe. The kite is plain white without any decoration. Very unattractive indeed. But still, the size is so unbelievable. He flipped the side a little and swear to God his heart almost fall and create a deep hole until South Africa when he saw something behind the kite.
A big, red splatter on the wall.
Hell, is that blood?. It looks new and wet. He wanted to ask Junhong but the boy doesn't want to come in. Holy, he doesn't even want to go near Daehyun's room and just stands there—in front of a white line 4 meters away from the room—showing off his awkward smile with his hand curling his hair nervously. Christ, everything seems so frickin mysterious. This room must be containing some kind of dark spells or black magic or whatever. Maybe that red splatter is the sacrificed people's blood. Yep. Daehyun is absolutely an insane-psychotic-kite-collector-witch. Super great.
"Holy sheep! Zelo, why did you let Squishy go there?!", a shrill scream shocked Youngjae. He turned his head just to find the sight of the muscular boy shaking Junhong's body. He looks like he's ready to vomit but that only makes the muscle-boy shakes him even harder. Okay, that's too much.
"Hey, hey! Stop it!", Youngjae said as he pulled Junhong's shaking body.
"Squishy-hyung! Are you alright? Ahh, please forgive this pabo baby! You shouldn't go to Dae-hyung's room, he said it contains somekind of evil power that can kill you! You're lucky you're okay but next time won't be the same!"
Poor kid, he believes that psycho's lie for his entire life.
"Well, that's my room..."
"WHAT?! Are you flying kidding me?! Wait! It's April 1st right? It's—it's April Mop right? That's not funny, hyung but wait, no, it's already May—are there May Mop now? But the name is so ugly! I should be the one who na—HMMPH!!"
"STOP"
Okay. Seriously he needs help. One motor-mouth is enough for him.
"MMMPH—ah! Squishy-hyung you are so mean! I just wanted to protect you! I—"
"What's your name?", he cut before the muscle-boy could blabber more.
"Moon Jongup the next Michael Jackson yeeah! Sadly, this stupid family always call me Toddler Jongup. Come on, there's no toddler who is as macho and as y as me! I—"
"Oh, it's so nice to meet you Jongup"
"Nice to meet you too, Squishy-hyung! Your name is so adorable! Are your parents' names adorable too? What's your family name? Cute? Swee—"
"Yoo. Yoo Youngjae"
The boys gasped loudly. They covered their gaping mouth dramatically before the super typical 'UNBELIEVABLE!' scream were heard. Youngjae sighed heavily. If he has to meet this baby and toddler everyday, he's sure he would age faster. Yep, he would look 50 in his 20 and that's not weird at all if it's because of these kiddos.
"Yes, that's real. Now can you guys help me moving my stu—"
"Sorry honey, but it's the boys' bathing time now"
A soft yet so low voice.
Wait. Is that the Himchan-guy's voice?, Youngjae asked to himself. He cocked his head a little to face the owner of that voice properly. Oh, right. It's him.
"Aaah, but Hyungchan, Jello doesn't wanna take a bath now!", Junhong whined and pouted. He looks like a baby, seriously. No doubt he got that nickname.
"Yeah Jonguppie too! Jonguppie still wants to play with Jello and Squishy!"
Now it's Jongup's turn to whine. He puffed his not-so-chubby cheeks like a puffer fish. By God, their nicknames really suit them.
"Boys~?"
"RIGHTAWAY, MAMACHAN!", they saluted him before they raced to the bathroom. Wow, he surely is a wizard. Himchan peeked from the stair to make sure the boys reached the bathroom and not anywhere else. He smiled happily when he heard a loud slam plus what sounds like tsunami or flood, Youngjae wasn't sure. What Youngjae really know is : this is a ing abnormal family. Before Youngjae could cry over his unluckyness, Himchan's sharp eyes were already stripping him from head to toe. He put on his poker face which was so very unreadable and that doesn't make Youngjae feels any better.
"Don't worry", the feline male smirked, "I'll help you".
That's totally the definition of scary.
RIP ENGLISH. omg why. everytime I reread this I always feel like something is not right. either it's grammar or what but since my english is so motherfriggin crappy I dont know which one, shet//creys. unff this ff is lacking of daejae------it feels like I tagged daejae for nothing sobs I'm truly sorry. the next chap is the last boring-introducing-part, it's about our fabulous mommy, kim himchan! //clapshappily. I promise it's the last;;; bc the next one would be daehyunnie/////////////////////// unfff please wait just a little bit longer--and please remember that I love you more than dae loves his cheesecake <3333
replies :
specialguest : mehehe, but jae's face irl is kinda miserable too//slapped
pav230 : sdgfskdgkdfhg omg thank you so much----of course there will be more bby~
PaperSong : WHY--NO I'M TOO FILTHY TO DESERVE YOUR LOVE//////cries
v3aish : omg really---thank you so much sjdgfksdjf ;;;;;V;;;; <33
fluffydaejae : ahhh I'm glad you like it darling I thought you guys wouldn't like it//sobs// OMG YOU ALREADY KNOW-----SDFHSKJF WHY ARE YOU SO SMART--lmao congrats, you have reached the highest level of 'Baby' lololol XD
BocahHunHan : hohoho of course, dae has a crush on me~//slapped by jae// aaaa thanks a million bby!! I'll work extra hard!! ;u;9
hoshispace : BABY WHY--thank you soooooo much sdfhsdjf I'm really really glad you like my corny jokes;;;
KAZEYAMaru : dsjfsk thanks a zillion bby, let me love yoouuuuu <333
vaho1997 : ahehehehe thank you very much! wow, really? a diva? lol but srsly, I didnt mean to write him like that ahaha the only diva in bap is our fab kim himchan lololol//// YES I WILL! dae + cheesecake = otp
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