We stood there holding onto the handles ofthe train and for a while, neither of us said anything. I was simply overwhelemed that I had been talking to Sungyeol all along. The silence that hung over us stayed until a few stops later when neither Myungsoo or I had any idea where we were heading anymore. The train carraige had cleared out quite a bit, too. 

"Shall we?" Myungsoo asked, breaking the silence and gesturing to a row of empty seats. 

<> 

"So how did you come about his blog?" I asked when we had settled down into our seats. Myungsoo had his guitaleaning against his thigh, then.From outside, sunlight filtered in through the windows. I figured it must have been at least ten in the morning by then. 

"Sungyeol showed it to me," He explained. 

"He gave me the password and told me that if there ever came a day where he couldn't, then, I should talk to a person by the username 'wondering'." He paused and let out a deep sigh.

"He said, it doesn't matter when, just do it." Myungsoo chuckled, but there was something forlorn about his tone as he continued. 

("Why can't you talk to 'wondering yourself?" Myungsoo asked sprawled on the carpet of Sungyeol's bedroom. He really didn't want to do it. He didn't like blogging, or talking to strangers on the internet. 

"Myungsoo, I'm sick." Sungyeol returned. Myungsoo stared back at his friend. After a moment of silence, he smiled weakly. 

"Don't use that card on me, Lee Sungyeol." )

Myungsoo was leaning forward in his seat with his head in his hands and his elbows propped up on his knees, now. 

"And then he left." His voice cracked as he spoke. "And what did he say when he came back?" I asked absentmindedly, of course I should've understood, but I didn't.

"He didn't, Suzy. He didn't. He freaking died on me."  

<> 

We weren't in Seoul anymore. That was for sure. I really didn't know that trains could take us as far as Daegu. We must have gotten on bullet train because somehow we ended up hours away from Seoul. It was some time in the afternoon, and Myungsoo said if we hurried up we could catch the last bullet train back.

We wandered around Daegu were festivities were at an alltime high. People walked the streets with their families or friends, laughing and chatting loudly  with broad smiles pastered on their faces. After half an hour of walking the cold began to nip at my nose and both Myungsoo and I it would be in our best interests to retreat to somewhere warm. We ended up in a small cafe called "Summer Eclipse" on the corner of some street.

Mungsoo ordered a hot chocolate, where as I had a latte. 

"I didn't expect you to be 'wondering', you know?" He began while siping on his warm drink. 

"I didn't think you'd be 'just', either." I returned. He looked at me and smiled before saying "I know." 

"But Myungsoo, how do you know Sunggyu?"  I asked, recalling what Sunggyu had told me earlier that day.

"Sunggyu-- Sunggyu and I, we're bandmates, and once while talking about a girl called Suzy, he mentioned my-- no-- Sungyeol's username." He explained. 

("So I know this girl, Suzy, she's called.." Sunggyubegan, turning around dramatically in his wheely chair.  

Myungsoo glanced at the older one and nodded, indicating he was listening. Sunggyu had the habit of blabbering.

"She stayed up all night yesterday." Sunggyu said cautiously. Suzy had warned him not to mention the fact that she busked with a stranger and still didn't know his name; it would make her look irresponsible, she said.

Sunggyu glanced at Myungsoo to see if he was still listening, which he was.

"She talked to some person called 'just'." 

Myungsoo stopped plucking his guitar and smirked. "Oh, really?" He mused. 

"Really!" Sunggyu exclaimed. "That's such a ridiculous thing to do, though -- why would anyone give up sleep, right?" 

Myungsoo started scribbling something down on a sheet of paper, he tore it from his book  and handed it to Sunggyu. "Give this to Suzy, will you?" 

Sunggyu looked from the piece of paper to Myungsoo's face. "What is it?")

I scrunched my face up knowing that Sunggyu talked about me when I wasn't there and Myungsoo laughed. From there we talked about eachother and not of Sungyeol. With Myungsoo it was different, but then and there, I decided that different was what I needed. I did not want to hold on to memories of Sungyeol or have those memories stab at my heart any longer. That chapter of my life, I realised, was over. I was slowly letting go.