Sungyeol, Sungyeol, Sungyeol. I had not heard his name in a while, nobody mentioned it around me, not even Sungyeol's parents; he became a kind of taboo in my life. So, as 'just' mentioned his name, I felt my chest tighten andmy stomach sink, for attatched to his name were countless memories all so vivid to me, then.

It was still early in the morning and all around me I could hear the city waking up; I had already left the warmth of the cafe and was trudging through the snow,  towards my next destination; the Han River.

My mind became clouded with questions; questions such as how 'just' could possibly know Sungyeol, or if we were even talking about the same Sungyeol. I walked on in silence for a while and listened to the sounds on the other end of the line, though, there was nothing to hear apart from the rythmic breathing of the person replying to me. I suppose he could hear me, too.  I took a deep breath, and willed myself to speak. 

"Lee Sungyeol?" I managed to ask.

"Yeah." He replied.

"What about him?" I said, stumbling over my words in the confusion of it all. 

"Are you at the Han River yet?"  He asked dismissively. 

I stopped, realising that I had arrived at my destination already. 

"There's someone close by. Do you see him, Suzy?"

In the distance, there was a figure and within a heartbeat I already knew who it was. 

"Yes." I answered, unaware that he had a hold of my name. And the line went dead. 

<> 

Sunggyu. (His red hair gave him away.)  Naturally, I wondered if Sunggyu was 'just', but dismissed the idea as the number from the envelope was not his. I made my way to him, and stood beside him. From where we stood the Han River looked nothing more than a block of ice.

"Merry Christmas, Suzy." Sunggyu greeted. He turned to my direction and showed off his crooked grin. Taken back, I only blinked 

"You too." I said after a moment's silence. Sunggyu hummed in acknowlegdement and averted his eyes to the frozen river. 

"I did sort of deliver that note, and I do sort of know him." He began. And by him, I assumed he was talking about 'just'. 

I stayed silent waiting for Sunggyu to go on. Sunggyu sighed, a whisp of air coming from his mouth. I looked at him-- Sunggyu-- with his bangs just below his eyebrows, Sunggyu the guitarist, Sunggyu the singer, the composer, Sunggyu who was standing beside me, on the bank of the Han River, with his hands stuffed in his pockets and the tip of his nose, pink, on Christmas day and thought to myself that I would never have considered him to know 'just'. It really was a smal world, after all.  

"Also, he told me to tell you to go to the train station." Sunggyu added unceremoniously. I remember grinning at him, then. He was like that. He could never be serious for long. 

<> 

The train station was packed, as it usually was. People were scattered all over the place, eager to go somewhere fun for the holiday, whether they be boarding trains or getting off one. My phone rang and I answered it quickly. just' instructed that I buy a ticket for platform two, which I did, and then, he told me to look for him. (I didn't realise it, then  but I had just bought an ticket for a bullet train. It's funny how not even the price of ticket bothered me back then. I guess the excitement of meeting just was so overwhelming that I didn't care. Anticipation, for me, was very hard to contain. )

"I'll stick out like a sore thumb." 

"How will I know it's you?" I inquired, but he had already hung up. 

Platform two was jammed with people, all dressed in darker colours in an attempt to keep warm during the winter. I scanned the area, once, then, twice, and on the third time, I spotted a familiar face. The Busker Boy, dressed in a yellow parka with a guitar strapped to his back,  seemed to have business on platform two, too. His eyes darted from one end of the platform to another, as if he were looking for someone. I tried to ignore him and focus but without even realising it, my feet had started towards him. 

"Fancy meeting you here." He began casually.

I greeted him, and opened my mouth to ask him if he had seen anyone strange. 

"Let me guess," He mused, tapping his bottom lip with his index finger. "Someone who sticks out like a sore thumb?"  He finished. 

I caught on.  Busker Boy was the 'just' I had been looking for. 

<> 

I guess a look of realisation must of crossed my face because I can't explain to you how quickly his smile grew.

I felt as if everything had stopped for a moment; like he and I were the only people on platform two. Only when I was pratically shoved into him, did I realise we were standing at the bottom of an escalator with people grumbling as they manuvered their ways pass us. 

So 'just' and I, we boarded the next train-- thinking we wouldn't  wander too far from Seoul. And we talked.

I asked him for his name, and how he knew mine. He told me he knew my name through Sunggyu and that his name was Myungsoo. 

"Myungsoo." I said as if testing something for the first time. I was surprised by how easily it rolled off my tongue. 

"Myungsoo, so you're 'just'." I stated as we boarded the train. 

"Yeah, the responsibility was upon me." 

" upon you, like, you weren't 'just' before?" I asked and Myungsoo nodded in confirmation. 

The train began to move and the sound of clanking of the metal gears filled the carraige. 

"You mean to say there was someone before you?" I asked, curious. 

Myungsoo nodded again. We were standing--  the train was already packed with people and Myungsoo was carrying a guitar, too. 

"Who?" I asked, again. 

"Sungyeol." He replied. 

"Oh." I mouthed. 

"Oh." Myungsoo repeated a sad smile playing on his lips.