TAEYEON’S POV

I stepped inside our family’s house after my sister. I looked around me and gently touched the walls. Was this for real? A freaking house!? I stepped into my new room. How did I know? Someone had put up a sign with my name on the door! I glanced at my sister who was still lingering in the hallway. This was stinking of that boyfriend of hers. I sat down on my bed and stared out the window. What was coming next? I closed my eyes and sighed discouraged. My sister was in too deep… I determinately left my room and walked towards the kitchen. In the doorway I met my father. We exchanged a look. He was buying my sister’s stories about her “savings” about as much as I did. I wondered how much he really knew and understood of what was going on. I entered the room and looked at my sister’s guilty face as she glanced at me. I sat down opposite of her by the kitchen table.

“There are no savings, right?” I questioned straight out.

“Not anymore,” she answered evasively.

“Quit lying to me. When is he going to pop out of a corner?” I asked fiercely. I was tired of this game. Didn’t they understand that none of them could ever become happy this way? She sighed.

“I don’t think he will,” she mumbled. I was quite taken aback at the, seemingly, honest reply from her.

“Really?” I asked and she nodded slowly. I rubbed my nose awkwardly. “Sorry,” I mumbled and she smiled.

“I’ve got something for you.” She started digging in her bag. “Here.” She reached out her hands and I looked at them. In a tight grip she held the leather bound diary. I felt my face light up in a huge smile and I eagerly accepted the book.

“I thought it was lost in the fire,” I said and quickly flipped trough the pages. I couldn’t believe my eyes, it really was here. My sister had saved it. Then I glanced at her. “You didn’t read it, did you?”

“Of course not. You hid it for a reason,” she said in a pretend offended tone. “I know what it’s like not to have any privacy…”

“In this house, maybe we will.” I shot her another glance. “You’re sure there’s no catch with this house thing?”

“I believe in him, I trust his word.” I nodded and it wasn’t until after I came to think about it. Why would she carry my diary out of the apartment, if she didn’t know there would be a fire?

 

 

“There’s someone at the door!” my father said. Before he could ask anyone to open it the twins were already on their way.

“I’ll do it!”

“No, I want to!” they fought while their younger sister happily ran behind them. I heard them open the door and the kids’ reactions were unexpected. Their excitement made my sister curious and she got up and walked out of the kitchen into the hallway.

“Who is it?” she asked curiously.

“I was just thinking I should welcome our new neighbours.”

 

 

Yoseob sat up in his bed as he saw me enter his room, his smile covering most part of his face.

“Taeyeon-ah, you’re back!” he said and scotched over to one side to make room for me in his bed.

“Time for you medication,” I said and climbed up next to him. “Aaand…” I held up the hair brush I had brought and playfully wagged it in front of his face. He followed it with his eyes.

“Now?” he asked. I nodded with an eager smile. I had been preparing all day for this… “But, I have nothing to cover it with afterwards…” he mumbled and looked down.

“That’s why, I bought you this.” I hauled a panda hat out of my bag. “For you.”

“Waa, it’s so cute!” Yoseob reached his hands out for the panda but I snatched it away from him.

“Nuh-uh, you can’t try it on until we’re done,” I said and he nodded obediently. “Do you want to sit in front of the mirror?” I asked and Yoseob bit his lip and looked away.

“I’d rather not…”

“As you wish, turn around,” I demanded softly and he did as I told him. I lifted the brush to his head and gently pulled it through his hair. I tried to keep my breaths steady as I repeated the action. I silently watched as Yoseob’s hair slowly loosened from his head, raining onto his shoulders and on the bed, some of it floating onto the floor. The hair stuck in the brush, but I kept on brushing his hair. I looked at Yoseob’s hand as he gently picked up a wisp of his own hair from the bed and slowly twisted it between his fingers. I pulled my free hand sideways through his hair and couldn’t prevent my lower lip from quivering as the hair seemed to peacefully place itself in my hand.

“Stop it!” Yoseob suddenly cried out and bent forward with his arms covering his head.

“Yoseobbie, I’m soon finished, just let me-“ I tried softly.

“No, stop, stop, STOP!” His shoulders were shaking and he hid his head from me. “I can’t… anymore.”

“Yoseob.” I gently touched his shoulder and tried to get him to sit up, but he refused. “Yoseob, look at me.”

“No.”

“But I want to look at you.”

“No!”

“Yoseob…”

“I want to look at me first…” he said quietly. I quickly dug in my bag, picked up the mirror I had brought and handed it to him. “Don’t look,” he said, slowly sitting back up again.

“I won’t.” I turned my head away and let him have his moment. Suddenly, I felt something nudge my leg and looked down to see Yoseob’s hand fumble behind his back.

“Hand,” he whispered and I gently intertwined my fingers with his. “I look like an old man,” he whispered.

“Can I look now?” I asked, almost as quiet as he was talking.

“No…” he paused. “I’m not even entirely bald, I look like Gollum…”

“Please, let me have a look,” I pleaded and squeezed his hand. When he didn’t protest I turned around slowly, so he would have a chance to stop me if he wanted to. I looked at the reflexion over his shoulder. I reached my free hand out and softly touched his head while I sought his eyes in the mirror. “It’s not so bad,” I finally said.

“Not so bad?” Yoseob suddenly spun around and stared straight into my eyes. “Look at me! how can you say that? I look like a monster…” He started off angrily but soon trailed off and looked away. I cupped his cheeks with my hands and forced him to look at me.

“Baldness suits you,” I said and carefully wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye. “I like it.” Yoseob pouted and reluctantly touched his head.

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do, I really like it.”

“It’s disgusting…”

“No matter what you look like it will always be wonderful and cute, because it’s you Yoseob, do you understand me?” I asked firmly. He avoided my gaze.

“I wish it all would fall off at once, wouldn’t I look better as a bald man than Gollum?” Yoseob asked with a sad face. Once again I picked up my bag and rummaged it for a while.

“I thought you would complain…” I said and pulled out my next surprise for him. “… that’s why I brought this.”

“A shaver…” Yoseob whispered with a tearless sob.

“Are you not ready? We can wait?”

“No, let’s do it, now.” Yoseob wiped away the last of his tears with his sleeve and rubbed his nose before he turned his back to me again. “I’m ready.” I the shaver and put it to Yoseob’s head, swiftly shaving what was left of his platinum hair. I had done this procedure with my father and the twins several times so the matter was soon over with. I quietly lent Yoseob the mirror and he studied himself with swollen and teary eyes. I twisted my hands in my lap.

“What do you think?” I asked. Yoseob pouted and met my eyes in the mirror.

“I think that I just aged 60 years. I look like an old man…”

“I think you look more like a baby. A cute little Yoseobbie,” I chirped and tried to lighten the mood with a smile. I attacked his cheeks and pinched them like any ajumma would have done if they saw him. “Aigoo, kyeopta, Yoseob-ah.” Yoseob let out a clinging laugh.

“Yah, chincha, stop it, I’m no baby,” he complained childishly. I smirked and held up the panda cap.

“You will be, when you put this on,” I said and reached it to him. With an eager grin Yoseob accepted the hat and put it on his head.

“How do I look?” he asked, still grinning dorky. I reached out my hands for his cheeks with a squeal.

“Aigoo~” I began, but Yoseob held up his hands and shook his head.

“Not again! I will never be as cute as you anyway,” he said. I gave him a mischievous smile.

“I know, especially when I put on my own,” I said and took my last surprise for him out of my bag. “Tad-ah!” I cheered and held up my panda hat in front of him and I could see his eyes glistening with excitement.

“Try it on,” he said and tried to grab the hat and put it on my head himself, but I snatched it away from him and instead held out the shaver to him, turning my back against him.

“My turn.”

 

 

YOSEOB’S POV

 

I stared at the shaver Taeyeon had placed in my hand as she turned her back against me.

“What…?”

“Come on, do it,” Taeyeon said with her back facing me. “I don’t want you to be alone in this, I know it’s hard for you.” I felt my heart melt. What did I ever do to deserve this kind of treatment?

“Taeyeon-ah? I won’t do it?” I said softly. She turned back to me.

“I want to, if you don’t have a choice, then I don’t either.”

“I already said I won’t do it, I love your hair Taeyeon-ah.”

“Why won’t you let me do this one small thing for you?” Taeyeon asked angrily and I could see tears forming in her eyes. “I can’t do anything for you. You keep… changing, and I want to change with you!”

“That’s a sweet gesture, but I don’t want you to change for me, I want everything to be as usual, especially you, I want you just the way you are right now.” I smiled and touched her cheek. “Now, let me see you with that panda face on your head.”

 

 

“Yoseob, no!”

“Wae? I thought you wanted me out of here,” I whined.

“I do,” Taeyeon argued convincingly. “But, you’re not healthy enough to leave the hospital yet.”

“But I already talked to the doctors, they said they could give me one day outside the hospital!” I said eagerly.

“Yoseob, your aegyo could make anyone let you do anything. I think it’s  bad idea,” Taeyeon said and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Taeyeon-ah, jebal, I’ll be under your watching eye all day, please, please,” I begged as I clasped my hands together. I could see the hesitation in Taeyeon’s eyes and I knew I had won this battle. I grabbed her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “I want to meet your family, won’t you let me?” I asked, working my puppy eyes 100%. Taeyeon groaned and let her arms fall to her side.

“Fine,” she muttered and I cheered happily, clapping my hands together loudly. Taeyeon sighed. “It’s all that stupid panda hat’s fault,” she said and glared at my head. “I should never have bought it…”

 

 

“He’ll be here any minute now, and remember what I said,” I heard Taeyeon’s voice clearly through the open kitchen window. “Do not talk about his disease, don’t even mention it, especially you omma, you always get so awkward.” I smiled silently to myself as I stood on the porch, ready to knock on the front door.

“I won’t,” said, what I assumed was, her mother before continuing. “So, is he your boyfriend?”

“We said no awkwardness…”

“Alright, fine… but is he?” To hide my laugh I pushed on the doorbell and waited for someone to open for me. The sound of tiny running feet was heard through the wooden door and soon I had three kids staring at me from the threshold.

“Annyeong,” I said with a small wave. The twin boys replied and then laughing ran back into the house. Taeyeon came and picked up her little sister who stared at me with big eyes. Taeyeon motioned for me to come in and I followed her inside. Her parents came out of the kitchen with polite smiles on their faces. They bowed and walked up to me. I took their outstretched hands.

“Annyeonghaseyo, I’m Yoseob,” I said and shook their hands. “I have leukemia.” Taeyeon’s mother widened her eyes and threw a quick glance at her daughter who just shook her head with a sigh. Her father chuckled heartily.

“And I have a newly replaced heart, let’s go out to the back,” he said and led the way to the backyard. Taeyeon gave me a glare.

“Did you have to?” she asked annoyed. I shrugged lightly and looked around.

“Nice house… Where’s your sister?”

“Out… with Gikwang…”

“Oh…” We exchanged a glance and then walked out the backdoor.

“Over here!” the twins yelled in unison and waved us over to a table. “Sit here!” They called to me and pointed eagerly to the empty seat between them.

“Oh, no, this is my spot,” their father said calmly and squeezed down on the chair while winking at me. “You two sit over there.” I sat down and Taeyeon went to hand over her little sister to her mother before sitting down herself, but her sister started protesting strongly, flailing her arms and legs around like a crazy person.

“Anniii, oppa, oppa!” she yelled repeatedly. Taeyeon tried to sit her sister sown in her mother’s lap but the little girl kept crying with her arms stretched towards me. I bit my lip a I looked back into her eyes. Aigoo, her aegyo was even better than mine!

“I can take her,” I said. “If it’s okay…” The mother looked surprised at me.

“Of course, of course, then we’ll all be able to have some peace,” she said and reached the girl to me. I gently placed her in my lap and her cries immediately turned into laughter. She looked at me with those big eyes again and reached her arms up.

“Play, oppa. Play?” she said while opening and closing her little fists. Before I knew it she had closed her fingers around me panda hat and swiftly pulled it off my head. The silence that fell around the table was deafening, except for the baby’s happy squeals. I smiled softly.

“Do you like it?” I asked and she looked up at me with a happy smile. Also she fell silent and formed a little o. “You can play with it if you like.” The little girl looked at me quietly for a while before Taeyeon quickly picked her up and pulled her off of my lap.

“Chincha, give it back to him, it’s not yours,” she said in a childish angry voice and tried to make her sister to let go of the panda. Her sister reached one of her tiny hands out and gently my head. I looked at her and watched a big smile grow on her lips.

“Soft…” I let out a broken laugh as I stood up and snatched her out of Taeyeon’s embrace and hugged her tightly while spinning the both of us around. She howled with laughter.

“Can I take her with me to the hospital? I will take very good care of her, I promise,” I said and spun us around in the opposite direction, luring another laugh out of the little girl.

“Take her!” the twins yelled happily and then left their seats. “Me too, hyung, me too!”

“Oh, no boys, you are a bit too heavy for that,” Taeyeon and her  mother said softly.

“Just once, please, only one time?”

“I’ll do it, but only once each,” I said and put Taeyeon’s little sister down, leaving her and the panda hat alone. after spinning the twins around Taeyeon led me back inside and sat me down by the kitchen table. She took out a glass and poured me some water.

“I know you’re tired, so just drink this and have some rest,” she said and placed the glass in front of me.

“I don’t want to rest, I can do that…” I was going to say “when I die” but I knew Taeyeon would be upset if I did so I changed my mind. “… at the hospital.”

“Please, just rest, okay? I don’t want my family to be the cause of something happening to you…” she said and looked the other way. I thoughtfully spun my glass in circles on the table.

“Rest, you say?” I glanced up at her and gave her a mischievous smile and she looked back at me suspiciously.

“What?”

“Can I use your bed? And I’ll see your room! Will you lie next to me? Can I have the left side of the bed? Do you have any stuffed animals? Where is the bathroom?”

“Pabo, it’s out the door and to the left. I’ll be waiting for you in my room, across the hall,” Taeyeon said and grinned. I nodded with an equally big grin and then hurried to the bathroom. My bladder wasn’t used to this…When I opened the door to the bathroom to go to Taeyeon’s room I found her little sister sitting on the floor outside the door. She stood up as I walked out.

“Were you waiting for me?” I knew I was making a pabo-face. She eagerly nodded and then held out my panda hat. “You don’t want to play with it anymore?” She shook her head while lifting her hands up.

“Put on, put on,” she said and shook the poor panda. I reached out my hand to take it from her but she showed me an angry frown and gripped the panda hard. “Put on!”
“Oh, mianhe,” I said and kneeled down so she could reach up to put it on my head. It was a bit askew but I didn’t care.

“Pretty oppa, very pretty,” she said and clapped her hands in delight.  Taeyeon stepped out of her room.

“Leave Yoseob oppa alone now,” she said in a firm but still soft voice and then looked at me. “Coming?” I ruffled the little girl’s hair, stood up and took a few steps towards Taeyeon when I felt small fingers encapsulate my index finger. I looked down at Taeyeon’s younger sister who shone up at me.

“Cute oppa.” I turned to Taeyeon. Puppy-eye-mode, activated.

“We’re just going to rest, neh? Can she come with us? She’ll be sooo quiet, you won’t even notice she’s there, please?” I begged and made the puppiest eyes ever seen in world history. Taeyeon rolled her eyes.

“Just get in here.”

 

 

TAEYEON’S POV

I sat on my bed and watched Yoseob as he ran hither and thither across the room inspecting every detail inside of it, with my little sister tailing after him. Yoseob finally stopped at the diary, which was lying on my desk. He gently picked it up and flipped through the pages while my sister clung to his leg. I saw him stop at the new notes I had made in there and I felt my heart race when he looked up at me from underneath the panda face with a small smile. He shut the book close and skipped to the bed where he plopped himself down beside me.

“Really?” he asked. I smiled nervously and helped my sister to climb onto the bed.

“Reall what?” I asked in return and he answered by holding up the book and opening again.

“This.” I looked at where he was pointing and read my own handwriting.

 

I think I love him

 

I shook my head. A wrinkle appeared between Yoseob’s eyebrows and his spirit seemed to burn a little weaker. I quickly picked up a pen and snatched the book away from him. I hid my text from him while writing and then gave it back to him to read. I pulled my sister close and snuggled my nose into her hair while Yoseob read it out loud in a whispering voice.

 

I think I love him you

 

Without another word he picked up the pen, wrote something next to my line and then held up the book for me to see. My sister tried to take the book, but I kept her hands away.

“Read,” she whined. I looked at Yoseob.

 

Pabo, I was supposed to say it first.

I love you more

 

“Why you cry?” My sister touched my face and I suddenly became aware of myself. “No cry.” Yoseob helped my sister wipe my tears away.

“Your sister is right, the best thing you can do is laugh, everything else is a waist of time.”

“Pabo,” I just said and threw my arms around his neck, sobbing lightly. At the same time as I felt like this was the happiest moment of my life, I felt like my heart ache was I couldn’t suppress the feeling that I was going to lose him, soon. The world was too unfair to give this destiny to someone like Yoseob, he deserved so much better. Yoseob my back and my sister tugged my arm.

“Laugh?” she said in her childish high-pitched voice. “Now she laugh? Why she laugh?”

“She’s laughing because she’s happy,” Yoseob said soothingly. “Now, you have to be happy too, neh?”

 

 

“So, will you come to our housewarming this weekend?” my mother asked as we all stood in the hallway to say goodbye to Yoseob. He looked regretful at hearing this.

“Unfortunately not, I probably won’t be out of the hospital again for a while.”

“I understand,” my father said. “We will come and visit you soon, son.”

“Please do,” Yoseob said with a bow. My parents dragged the little ones away from there and let us have a moment alone. Yoseob started jumping up and down as soon as they rounded the corner. “He called me ‘son’, did you hear it? He called me ‘son’!”

“We are practically married now,” I said quietly. Yoseob stopped bouncing.

“Don’t be sad, Taeyeon-ah,” he said as he put his hand under my chin and tilted my head to face him. “Come visit me soon.” He gently pressed his lips against mine before he walked out the door towards the street where his father was waiting for him in a car, to drive him back to the hospital. I looked after them until they disappeared. I closed the door and stood still with my hand on the doorknob a while before I determinately walked into my room.

“Omma, appa, I’ll be away for a few days.” I would visit Yoseob soon, and he was not going to miss me for a while…

 

 

YOSEOB’S POV

“Taeyeon-ah?” It had only been three hours since I left her house and she was already here to see me? I would lie if I said I wasn’t touched. “Are you… moving in?” I asked and raised one eyebrow. She seemed to have brought practically everything in her room, except for her bed, and the desk… and the bookshelf… She smiled at me from underneath her own panda hat.

“Practically,” she said and dropped her bags on the floor. “At least the nurses will be angry with me for a few days.”

“Pabo, how can you be so silly? Get over here,” I said and waved her to my bed and she skipped up to me with a wide grin. “What are you so excited about?”

“That we are moving in together, what else?” she asked as she curled up next to me.

“If you see it that way… I think we should throw a party!” I cheered. She glared at me.

“Maybe not, but at least we should celebrate,” she said and hastily stood up again.

“Where are you going?” I whined, surprised by her sudden departure.

“To smuggle you some ice cream…”

 

 

I waited impatiently for Taeyeon’s return. What took her so long? Finally the door opened and Taeyeon entered my room. I was just about to complain about her turtle speed in ice cream shopping when someone else barged into the room.

“Tad-ah!” Hyunseung called out and spread his arms out as if he was expecting a big applause.

“Hyunseung hyung?” I asked with wide eyes.

“How did you like my entrance, pretty spectacular, neh?” Hyunseung asked with a smug face.

“What are you doing here?” I asked happily, but still as surprised as a newly born baby.

“I found him outside, he’s not really good with signs,” Taeyeon said and walked up to the bed while looking around secretively, and taking up an ice cream from her… bra!? Omo, omo, omo, I can’t eat that, it’s sacred!

“I wasn’t lost!” Hyunseung said defensively and she giggled.

“I never said that,” she said as she reached me the ice cream. I just stared it as I held it like it was made from porcelain.

“Just eat it Yoseob,” Hyunseung said with a grin as he sat down on the visitor’s chair. Taeyeon looked at me.

“Is it the wrong flavour? I can buy you a new one if you don’t like it,” Taeyeon said and reached out her hand for the ice cream.

“NO!” I cried out and hugged the ice cream tight. “I will eat it, with dignity,” I said solemnly and opened the packing paper to my ice cream. Taeyeon gave me a weird look.

“Anyway,” Hyunseung said and scotched the chair closer. “Doojoon and Dongwoon send their regards,” he said with a grin. I almost swallowed my ice cream in one piece.

“You went to see them? In Japan!?” I asked. Hyunseung nodded eagerly.

“You should have seen their observatory, it’s freaking huge!” Hyunseung awed. I glared at him.

“I don’t care about…”

“What if I told you they named one of their telescopes after you?” he interrupted.

“They did!?” I asked, almost spitting my ice cream all over him in excitement.

“No, I was just sick of hearing your whining,” Hyunseung said and leaned back in his chair.

“Ah, chincha, you’re so mean!” I complained and slapped him on his knee.

“See what I mean?” he asked and angrily pushed my hand aside. “At least they sent a big, hm, big is an understatement… ginormous stuffed panda bear back with me, for you,” he said and lit up in a smile. “I didn’t bring it though, because my gift would seem too small beside it…” Hyunseung said and embarrassed scratched his head. He held out his hand. “For you.” I accepted the package he reached me. It wasn’t completely wrapped so I could easily lift the paper off and reveal what I had just received. “Woah, hyung!” I stared at the snow globe. Instead of tiny snowflakes showering over a poor little snowman there were a badrillion minimal golden stars showering a picture of the childhood version of me and Hyunseung wearing diapers and matching shirts.

“That’s before you moved away, and before that Gikwang took over you heart…” Hyunseung said melancholy.

“Yah, he didn’t take over my heart, it was just practical to have a hyung close to me, that’s why I abandoned you,” I said and earned an evil glare from Taeyeon. “I’m just joking,” I said with a pout. “It’s not my fault this one chose his telescope over me…” Hyunseung reached out his tongue at me and I responded by making an ugly face. We grinned at each other and I turned my attention back to the snow globe. I squealed happily and held it up in front of me. “Taeyeon-ah, look, isn’t it beautiful, weren’t I cute?” I reached it towards her so she could have a look at it. “I love it.”
“Of course you do,” Hyunseung said.

“True.” I held my arms out. “Hug!” With a chuckle Hyunseung stood up and hugged me. I widened my eyes. “Woah, hyung, what a manly hug! Not even Gikwang gives me these,” I said impressed and squeezed Hyunseung’s bicep. “Hm, not as impressive though, Gikwang’s are huge.” Hyunseung pulled his arm away.

“Not in front of the lady, you’re giving her the wrong impression of me,” he mumbled embarrassed. I put an arm around Taeyeon’s shoulders and pulled her close to me.

“I already told you, she’s mine,” I said warningly. Hyunseung laughed.

“Terrifying, really,” he said sarcastically. “But it’s okay, I have my Hyuna.” My silly hyung stayed for a few hours until he had to go back to the observatory and tour a group across the galaxy. I s my arm around Taeyeon and pulled her close to me.

“Alone at last,” I said seductively. She just slapped my chest with a huff.

“Being a ert doesn’t suit you,” she said laughing.

“Wae, I think I did pretty well,” I pouted and she looked at me with a compassionate gaze.

“Kitty-pumpkin, you’re wearing a panda-hat,” she said simply before pulling my arm closer around her and kissed my fingertips. “You’re not the ert-type, and you never will be.”

“Take it back!” I blurted, and before I knew it I had flipped her onto her back and, straddling her. She looked up at me with big, round eyes and I’m sure I stared into them with my own eyes big as saucers. “Take it back,” I whispered. She shook her head silently. I leaned forward and put my lips to her ear. “Take it back or I…” There was a slight pause.

“Or you what, Yoseob?” she whispered. I sat back up and scratched my head awkwardly.

“I don’t know… You’re right, I’m not suited to be a ert.” I sighed and slid off of her, landing beside her on the bed. “I’m such a loser.,.”

“Yes, you are…” Taeyeon turned her head and looked at me. “Let me show you how…”

 

 

TAEYEON’S POV

I stared at my own reflection in the mirror in one of the bathrooms at the hospital, tried to see a difference. There was none. Except, that I knew, for a fact, that I had lost my ity to Yoseob, here, at the freaking hospital! I had to sit down as I thought about it. Was I crazy!? I had to go and talk to the nurses… I walked out of the and immediately ran into a nurse.

“Excuse me?”

“Yes?” She looked at me with a smile. I knew this girl, Yoseob had her as his favourite nurse. What was I thinking!? What  the hell was I supposed to say!? How could I possibly put this one out smoothly?

“Could you please change the sheets in Yoseob’s bed?” I asked quickly. Very smooth… She gave me another smile.

“Already done, Taeyeon-ssi,” she said and at the sight of the gaze she gave me I felt my cheeks heat up and I knew I was red as a tomato in the face.

“Thank you,” I said with a bow and hurried away, the fastest I could without running. I closed the door carefully behind me before I turned to Yoseob. “The nurses know,” I said and ran up to him to hide under the blankets. He chuckled.

“Of course the do. Now, I think we should write down the date in the diary, it’s a very important day!” he said briskly. I glared up at him.

“how can you not be the slightest bit embarrassed?” I asked him, almost accusingly.

“I’m not that kind of person, I’m letting you do my part, you seem to do it well,” he said with a shrug. “They were preeeeeetty angry at me though…” he said and I hid under the blankets.

“I am never coming out of here again…”

 

 

“Yoseob? Yoseob!?” I woke up in the middle of the night for no reason. I sat up and instinctively looked to my side, putting a hand on Yoseob’s shoulder. His entire body was shaking and the cold sweat was trickling down his face. “Yoseob!?” No matter how much I screamed there was no reaction. I hit the alarm button and the nurses were inside the room within seconds. They pushed me out of the way, speaking a hospital language I didn’t understand as the shouted instructions to each other. I pressed myself against the window watching the scene, one single word repeating inside my head, over and over again. no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

 

 

I woke up, once again, when someone squeezed my hand. I flew into a sitting position and stared at my hand.

“Taeyeon-ah…” Yoseob whispered and I turned my gaze towards his face.

“Are you alright? How do you feel?” I asked but stopped my question marathon as I saw Yoseob’s tired smile appear on his beautiful face.

“I’m fin, Taeyeon-ah, I’m fine,” he assured me in a weak voice. I looked at his pale face without returning his smile.

“No, you’re not. Don’t lie to me, you’re feeling terrible,” I said. “Are you in pain?” He shook his head. “Why? Why now?” I asked quietly, more to myself than him.

“What ‘now’? It’s nothing, this happens sometimes,” Yoseob said, not too assuring. I looked at him.

“You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met,” I said with a tearful smile and he chuckled.

“Probably,” he admitted. I tried to pull myself together.

“What do you want? What do you need?” I asked after taking a deep breath and refreshing my smile. He squeezed my hand again.

“I could use a kiss,” he said weakly and pouted his lips. I grabbed his face between my hands and showered him with kisses.

“I’ll kiss you until you feel better,” I said between kisses. Yoseob tried to push me away.

“Yah, you told me not to overdose my medication,” he protested and I could hear the smile in his voice.

“I wasn’t serious, this one is impossible to overdose,” I said and forcefully pressed my lips against his in a desperate kiss.

“Taeyeon… Taey- Taeyeon!” He pushed me away and I was left sitting on the bed with my head bent down. “You taste like salt…” I curled into a ball before he got a chance to look at my face. “Taeyeon, please stop, don’t cry anymore.” I felt his arms around me and he leaned his cheek against my head.

“You are fading away from me,” I whispered between sobs. He my back without saying anything. No protest. “You said you weren’t going to, not yet.” I looked up at him with tears streaming down my face. “You can’t leave me, not now, it’s too soon. Promise me you won’t leave me,” I begged. He looked down at me with a tormented smile as he the hair out of my face.

“I can’t.” I felt my breaths get stuck in my throat. It was the first time I had heard something like that come out of his mouth, the first hint of what was going to happen. It sounded like he knew what was going to happen and he was ready, he had already accepted it. He was already counting his days? Was he giving up? My tears increased in numbers and I felt like screaming. I closed my eyes and felt a terrible numbness spread through my body. Hearing him being unable to assure me everything was going to be fine was like hearing that he only had a few minutes left to live. The fact that he might disappear, any moment, was too much for me to handle. And if this was how it felt like to finally realize that his ending was closing in on us, how would it feel like… “Yah,” Yoseob’s soft whisper tried to sooth me. “I’m still here, I’m not gone yet.” I opened my eyes and stared right into his.

“Not yet, but hearing you being unable to comfort me, or yourself, makes me feel like our time is running out,” I said in a shaky and broken voice. “We have known each other for such a short amount of time, it feels like I just met you, and we are already out of time. It’s so unfair.” Yoseob hugged me tight and let me cry out all the tears that were left inside of me.

“It’s not the amount of time that decides the quantity of love,” Yoseob mumbled into my hair. “Nor does it decide the quality. I definitely had the best.” I wanted to hug him… to death…

“I wish I could take your place…” I mumbled and the reaction from Yoseob was strong and instant.

“Don’t you ever say that again,” he scolded me angrily. “I’d rather die a thousand times than watch you suffer for even the shortest second.”

“But, you’re leaving me behind!”

“I’m not, I’m just travelling a bit ahead of you. I’ll wait for you at the next stop.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Yoseob reached out his little finger and hooked it with mine. “I’ll wait for you until you catch up to me.”

 

 

“I’m home!” I called out as I entered the house. My mother poked her head out of the kitchen as the twins came running.

“Welcome back.”

“Noona!” The twins jumped onto me and hugged me.

“Hey guys, have you missed me?” I asked and ruffled their hair. “Will you help me carry my bags to my room?” They nodded eagerly and started to struggle with my, pretty heavy, bags. I walked into the living room and found my little sister playing with my Kitty-Pumpkin Yoseobbie. I crouched down beside her. “Annyeong, having fun?” She held up the cat with a smile and I replied it. “Cute, isn’t it?” She looked around in the room and then turned her dark, questioning eyes to me.

“Oppa?” That small, most insignificant, little word broke my heart into pieces. I hugged my sister tight.

“No… no oppa,” I sobbed. And, maybe, there will be no more oppa for her. With Yoseob in this state, no one knew how long he had left. The chemo therapy didn’t work out as planned and Yoseob was quickly growing weaker. “Oppa won’t come anymore…”

 

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So, because the comments (and my own desires, muahaha) I'm going to write another chapter, which is going to be the final one. 
I hoped you enjoyed this one, even though my medical terms and my facts may not be 100% accurate. 

Love you guys
Please comment and tell me what you think! (:

Tinkerbell :)<3