YOSEOB’S POV

Ugh, I did not feel well. My head hurt and I was feeling sick. My eyes didn’t want to open. I wanted to go back to sleep and forever dream happy dreams about… Taeyeon!? My eyes flung open and my whole body tensed up.

“Yoseob? Yoseob-ah?” I turned my head to the side and tried to focus my gaze on the person next to me. “Yoseob, Kitty-pumpkin, how are you feeling?” It was my mother’s voice. I opened my mouth and tried to respond when I felt a small nudge on my hand. As fast as I could I snapped my head away from my mother and in my blurry vision I could see Taeyeon. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line and she looked tired. My hand enclosed her fingers as I saw the pained look in her eyes.

“Taeyeon-ah,” I breathed quietly. I saw my father put a hand on Taeyeon’s shoulder and she looked up at him.

“Take care of our son while we get something to eat,” he said and she nodded. “Do you want something?” She shook her head and my father let go of her shoulder.

“We’ll be right back Seobbie,” my mother said and I nodded without taking my eyes off of Taeyeon. I heard the door close and we were alone. Taeyeon slowly pulled her hand out of my grip, and that hurt me more than words could explain. She looked down in her lap.
“You’re the one with leukemia, am I right?” I couldn’t bring myself to answer. She looked at me. “Am I right?”

“Yes,” I whispered. Taeyeon inhaled quickly and looked down at her hands again. I stared at her. “Yes, I have leukemia,” I said a little stronger this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, her voice quiet but hard. She glanced up at me and locked her eyes on mine. “Did you think I would treat you differently? Did you think I would leave you?” I closed my eyes and felt my tears burning behind them. I turned my face towads the ceiling.

“You are free to leave,” I whispered. I opened my eyes and stared into space. “There is no point in being with me, leave.” I almost choked on my words. It took so much of me to say it. It hurt, but it was the only right thing to do. I had to be fair to her. I couldn’t force her to stay by my side, no one could, nothing could…

“Pabo,” Taeyeon’s voice soared through my thoughts. “Do you think so lowly of me?” I tilted my head to the side and looked at her again. Gravity made a tear leave my eye and slowly roll down the side of my face. Taeyeon smiled a little, her eyes glistening with tears. She reached out a hand and let her fingertips wipe away my lonely tear. “I wouldn’t leave even if you begged me to.” I let out a broken laugh and lifted my hand to her face.

“I could never beg you. I am too selfish for that.” I gently touched her cheek and she out her hand over mine.

“No, you’re just afraid that I wouldn’t obey,” she said, but she was wrong, and I’m sure she knew that too. I couldn’t ask her to leave me one more time. I wanted her. I needed her, and like I said I was way too selfish to let her go. “I won’t leave you, I promise,” she said seriously and stared me in the eyes. My mouth twitched a little.

“Not even to get me ice cream?” I asked in a weak voice. She paused for a bit.

“I might make an exception…” We silently looked at each other for a long time. Ultimately, Taeyeon became a bit awkward, blinked a few times and averted her gaze. “So, leukemia?” she asked and tucked a curl of hair behind her ear. I smiled a crooked grin.

“Yeah, it’s in my blood.” Taeyeon glared at me.

“That’s not even funny,” she muttered.

“I thought it was, that’s why I said it.” I felt an ounce of my former strength return to me and I made an attempt to sit up, Taeyeon immediately rushed to help. I leaned back and continued in a matter of fact tone: “You see, my joke had a double meaning. I’m referring to the fact that my disease is genetic while I at the same time point out that it literally is in my blood. Kind of clever, neh?” I asked eagerly and gave her an anticipating look. She compassionately took my hand and shook her head.

“If your joke had been the slightest bit funny you would have completely ruined it by now,” she said dryly. I made big eyes.

“But… I only explained it because you didn’t think it was funny… Ah, chincha, why is Gikwang hyung not around? He is always the pabo,” I mumbled that last part and then added. “And as my faithful hyung he would have laughed at my joke, even if her didn’t think it was funny… which it was!” Taeyeon opened to say something, but before she had time to utter a sound the door to the room was opened and what seemed like the entire hospital committee, along with my parents, entered the room, and Taeyeon’s sister snuck in behind them and made her way to Taeyeon. I caught a glimpse of Gikwang who stayed in the corridor. Before the door closed he pointed to his arm, where I had drawn, and then flashed me a smile. Of course my hyung had been here all along.

 

 

TAEYEON’S POV

My sister stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders and Yoseob’s parents sat down on the other side of the bed while the doctors stayed by the foot of the bed. I held Yoseob’s left hand and his mother took the other one, hugging it tightly between both of her own. Yoseob looked at the doctor in the front.

“Yoseob-ssi, it seems like, for now, your condition is stabilized, but we can’t be sure for how long.” The doctor seemed to hesitate and Yoseob raised his eyebrows.

“And? What are you not telling me?” Yoseob asked teasingly as if he was talking to a dog and he was the one holding the toy. The doctor braced himself.

“It’s evident now that your body has stopped responding to your treatment.” I gasped loudly and quickly slapped my free hand over my mouth. I felt my sister tighten her grip around my shoulders and Yoseob squeezed my hand lightly.

“So, what are you suggesting?” he asked calmly.

“Chemotherapy seems to be the last resort.”

“Are you positive that it will work?” I asked quietly.

“… We can never be absolutely sure, but…”

“I don’t want to be trapped in her, enduring a treatment I don’t know will cure me, or buy me some time,” Yoseob said.

“Yoseob-ah!” I exclaimed in unison with his mother and we exchanged a look. Yoseob’s father turned to the doctor.

“How long does he have?” he asked, receiving a slap on his shoulder from his wife.

“We can’t be sure, but-“
“AAAA-lalala!” Yoseob sang loudly and tore his hands free to oppress them against his ears. “I don’t want to hear it~.” His father sighed.

“We’ll take it later then, I want to be prepared. If that’s possible…” I heard myself sob and Yoseob turned his attention to me.

“Taeyeon-ah, what’s the matter?” he asked worriedly and put his hands on mine. I opened my mouth to say something reassuring but it was like the air had left my lungs and not a sound could come out.

“We’ll let you discuss this matter, I think my sister needs some fresh air…” My unnie took me by the arm and dragged me out of the room. I looked at Yoseob over my shoulder as we reached the door and he smiled widely giving me thumbs up. He never knew when to be serious… I smiled back at him and let my sister lead me out of there. she sat me down on the sofa where we had waited all night long for news about Yoseob, and now it seemed like there weren’t an end to all the news and reports about what was wrong with him. I looked at my hands and saw that they were shaking like crazy and I noticed that I had difficulties in breathing.

“You should go home and rest. Remember what the doctors said; if you want to get back to work…” my sister said and I snapped my head at her.

“I can’t go back to work! I’m sorry, but I have to stay here with Yoseob. It might be my last chance to be with him…” I said angrily and with a determined face.

“Don’t say like that, you know he hates it, he would get mad if he heard you. You have to get at least one good nights sleep and a proper meal,” my sister answered just as determinate as me. Stubbornness was a family trait.

“I can’t leave him here,” I said determinately.

“Taeyeon-ah,” Yoseob called me from his room and without another word I barged past my sister and back into the room. Yoseob patted beside him on the bed. “Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.” I smiled at him and placed myself beside him, in a decent way since his parents were talking quietly with the doctors only a few meters away.

“You will accept the treatment, right?” I asked. He returned my smile and gently touched my cheek.

“Of course I will. If it means that it improves my chances to be with you longer, I’d do anything.” I felt my cheeks flush. “I just hope that I don’t have to stay in here, maybe I could be treated at home…” Yoseob trailed off.

“I’ll be with you no matter where you are,” I said quietly and he gazed at me.

“I know you will…” he said. “But now you have to go home and get something to eat and sleep a little.” I widened my eyes and leaned away from him.

“What?”

“And you could also use a shower,” he said and wrinkled his nose. “How long have you been wearing those clothes?”

“Since I had to get you to the hospital,” I said coldly. “I’m not leaving, Yoseob.”

“Yah, do you want me to feel bad? Remember what the doctors said: if you-“

“I know what the doctors said and I am following their advice. I know how to take care of myself, now let me help take care of you,” I said, my voice gradually increasing in strength.

“It’s just for a little while, you can come back at once when you’re ready.”

“Just face it, Yoseob, I’m not leaving.”

“Then I’m not taking the chemos.” He crossed his arms over his chest and put his chin in the air. I gritted my teeth.

“that’s not fair,” I hissed.

“I know it’s not, but you better go with your sister. If you’re not going to be healthy then I’m not going to either.” Yoseob gave me a pleading look and reached out for my hand. I stood up and pulled my hand away.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I said and headed for the door. I could feel his gaze burning in my neck but I ignored it. “Let’s go.” My sister recoiled at my words and looked up at me in surprise as I kept on walking. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Yoseob, you better not be dead when I come back…

 

 

Instead of going home my sister took me with her to work,, where I would probably get the best meal in a long time… She told the chef to make me something nice and then disappeared from the kitchen into the dining hall. I sat down in the kitchen and ate my paella, or whatever this dish was called. To be honest, I preferred traditional Korean food. I didn’t get much time to relax though. Suddenly there was a phone call and as my sister returned to the kitchen and another waitress handed her the phone. She hung up the phone and stayed emotionless as she turned to me. I gave her a worried look.

“What is it?” I asked and put down my fork. She reached her hand out to me and I took it as I stood up from my stool.

“Come on, we have to go,” she said and started walking towards the door.

“Where are we going?” I asked confused.

“To the hospital,” she said quietly. I felt my stomach swallow my heart and terrible visions ran for my eyes.

“Did something happen to Yoseob?” I barely dared to utter the words in fear for the response. She looked at me over her shoulder.

“No, it’s appa. He’s in the emergency room right now.” She turned her gaze away and focused on the doorknob on the restaurant’s exit.

“Is he going to make it?” I asked and hurried after her towards the bus stop. She didn’t answer at once, but as we stepped onto the bus she turned to me with hard eyes locked on mine.

“I don’t know.”

 

 

YOSEOB’S POV

I was gliding in and out of a restless sleep. I tossed and turned in my bed without finding a comfortable position.

“Ah, chincha.” I buried my face in my pillow and let out a frustrated groan. Why was this bed so big?

“Yoseob-ssi?” A whisper from the door caught my attention and I turned my head to see my favourite nurse stand in the doorway. I smiled at her and she bit her lip.

“What’s the matter?” I asked and sat up in my bed. The nurse shook her head.

“I couldn’t bare myself to ask her to leave. I know visiting hours are over long ago, but… Taeyeon is here.”

“Let her in.” I instinctively knew something was wrong. Taeyeon had told me she would be back tomorrow, and she would. There must be a very important reason to why she came to see me in the middle of the night. The nurse stepped aside and Taeyeon’s tiny figure darted across the floor, jumped onto my bed and buried her face in my chest. I gently hugged her shaking shoulders while Best-Nurse silently closed the door and disappeared. I sat quietly with my arms around Taeyeon, waiting for her to calm down. I felt my heart ache with her every sob and I couldn’t help myself as I wondered if she had been like this when I had collapsed, if this was how she was going to be when I… was gone. Finally Taeyeon sat up in front of me and rubbed her eye dry the best she could. I tucked a curl of her hair behind her ear and then placed my hand on her cheek.

“What’s wrong, Taeyeon-ah?” I tried to catch her eye but she kept her gaze locked on her hands. “Tell me, Taeyeon.”

“Right when I thought things were starting to take a turn for the better everything collapsed underneath my feet, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.” She looked up at me. “I have never felt this hopeless, this useless.” I opened my mouth to protest but she was faster. “You tell me, Yoseob. What can I do? What can I do to help my sister? To help my father, my family? What can I do to help you?” For a second I was speechless, I had no answer, no solution. I took her hands in mine.

“You just have to be here for me, just as you are, and the same goes for your family, you just have to be there and support them.” I knew these words weren’t going to comfort her, but what more could I say, what could I say other than that that wasn’t a lie? Taeyeon just huffed at my words.

“My ‘support’ can’t make you healthy. It can’t make my family happy and it can’t give my father the heart transplant he needs…” Taeyeon’s lower lip quivered.

“Your father is back at the hospital?” I asked softly. Taeyeon nodded as a silent crocodile tear rolled down her cheek. I gently grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down next to me. “Everything is going to okay,” I whispered and her hair. I started humming an old lullaby my mother used to sing to me when I was little, hoping that it would help Taeyeon relax and maybe let her get some of that sleep she needed. It took a while, and a few lullabies, but I felt Taeyeon getting heavier in my arms and her breaths became calmer. I scotched a little to my right to give her more space on the mattress and almost made myself fall over the edge of the bed. Despite this entire situation I caught a minimal smile cross my lips. This was the reason why my bed was so big.

 

 

Taeyeon’s sister came around midday to get Taeyeon home for a change of clothes and other necessities. She didn’t look too happy, and with everything that was going on my guess was that she was feeling even worse than she looked. She bowed slightly as a goodbye as she left the room with Taeyeon. Those two… sometimes I felt sorrier for them than I did for myself, and I had leukemia! I at by myself doing absolutely nothing else than thinking about Taeyeon, okay, maybe about her sister and Gikwang hyung as well, but mostly Taeyeon. Waa, I couldn’t even remember what I used to think about before I met her. She was just so thought-absorbing, I could never stop…

“Yoseob!?” I blinked several times before I understood that Gikwang was actually sitting in the chair next to my bed.

“Hyung? When did you get here?” I asked surprised.

“Some time during your zombie-mode,” Gikwang said with a small smile. “Thinking about Taeyeon are we?” This hyung never stopped impressing me.

“How did you know!?” I asked with wide eyes. Gikwang avoided my eyes and discreetly pointed to the corner of his mouth. I slowly touched my face. “Ew, hyung, hand me a tissue, bali bali!” Gikwang chuckled as he reached me a piece of paper to wipe away the drool.

“You look like a waterfall…” Gikwang said and leaned back in his chair.

“I like waterfalls,” I smiled. Gikwang weakly replied my smile. He looked out the window, inspecting the incoming darkness.

“Why isn’t she here?” he asked.

“My mum?” I asked. He gave me a weird look.

“What? No!” He rolled his eyes and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Taeyeon, of course, I thought she’d be here,” he said with a questioning look. I bit my lip and averted my gaze. So, he didn’t know. Of course he didn’t, who would’ve told him? “Yoseob?”

“Hyung…” I looked at him as I practically chewed my lip off. Gikwang slowly moved from the chair onto my bed.
“Did something happen to her?” He had on that serious look, the one he had on when he was prepared to hear anything. I sighed.

“Their father is back at the hospital.” I looked at Gikwang. “If he doesn’t get an akut heart transplant he will die.” We quietly stared at each other for a while.

“She would still be working at this hour, right?” Gikwang asked and I knew he wasn’t talking about Taeyeon anymore. I nodded. “Good night, Yoseob-ah, sleep well, I’ll be ba-“

“Just go to her!” I blurte and gave Gikwang a push. My eyes widened and I looked down at my hands. I was strong! One push and Gikwang was already out the door.

 

 

My eyes flung open at the same time as the door did. I confused sat up in the bed and looked around. What time was it? A sudden shadow was cast over my bed and I turned to the window. I peered in the direction of the window.

“Gikwang hyung?” I looked at him as he pulled his hands through his hair, stepping at the spot as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and in his world that was not normal! Did… their father already… dead? I sat up straight in my bed. “Hyung? What happened?”

“Why is everything so damn ed up!?” Gikwang mumbled and leaned against the window sill. He looked at me. “This girl has ed up my mind so bad that I don’t know what to do. My heart and soul wants to take her back, accept her feelings and be with her, forever.” He turned to the window and I sat with my mouth open and the only thing I could think for a few seconds was: What!?

“What do you mean ‘accept her feelings’?” I asked when my brain finally started working again.

“She said she loves me,” Gikwang said, still with his back facing me. 

“Then, you talked to her?” I asked, the hope luring a smile to my face.

“No, she was talking to him.” He finally turned to face me. “He confessed to her, begged her to be his girlfriend, but… she wants to be with me…”

“Hyung, that’s wonderful!” I cheered and started bouncing in my bed. He just huffed and looked down at the floor with his hands in his pockets. I interrupted my sitting celebratory dance and watched my troubled hyung. “Gikwang, I really don’t see the problem that you seem to get yourself get stopped by.”

“He offered to pay for her father’s transplant if she stayed with him.” He said it quietly, as if he never wanted those words to be uttered for the world to hear. I was once again trapped in my mouth-hanging-open-like-a-fish-state and I could feel my vocabulary escape my brain.

“He did what!?” Gikwang just looked at me with sad eyes. “How… wha-… what did she say?”

“Nothing really. She said she had to ‘think about it’, and talk to me.”

“She wanted to talk to you, about that? That’s great, it’s your chance to take her back!”

“And let her father die?” There was a short silence before Gikwang pressed his lips together and pushed himself away from the wall. “If she hasn’t already decided to give up on us, I will make sure she does,” Gikwang said as he walked towards the door. I rapidly crawled to the foot of the bed.

“Hyung, wait!” I called after him and he stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

“I just have to make a quick phone call, I’ll be right back.”

 

 

In Gikwang’s absence I had to do something, so I decided to learn how to braid my hair. It was really difficult to do it on my hair on my head, but the hair on my legs was way too short and the armpit… nah! I tried to braid my wannabe-fringe when a soft knock on the door caught my attention.

“Come in.” Even though I was looking, all cross-eyed, at my own fringe I could see that Taeyeon’s sister had decided to pay me a visit. “Annyeong, noona,” I said with a smile. “What can I do for you?” if my life was worth more than one, or maybe two years, I would bet on it that she was going to ask for Gikwang. Oh, I was sooo right!

“I was just wondering… have you seen Gikwang… oppa lately?” she asked carefully. I decided to tell a white lie.

“Gikwang? No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday. Not a very long time I guess, but I already miss him… Anyway, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with this one,” I babbled on. Even though it wasn’t yesterday I had last seen him, I actually missed him, there wasn’t very much lying in my sentence! I was just trying to convince myself that I didn’t sound like a lying bastard…

“Do you know where he could be? I really need to talk to him.”

“I know you do. Gikwang sometimes needs time to process things. Wait him out, he’ll come to you.” I gave up on the braiding and ruffled my hair to make the failed attempt disappear. “I’m practising so I can make one on Taeyeon-ah,” I explained. She smiled weakly.

 

“Please tell him I really want to see him, talk to him and explain to him,” she pleaded.

“I will, don’t worry.” I smiled. She came up to me and gave me a hug. I really tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t, and a small giggle escaped me. 

“What?”

“I got your hair in my nose,” I said embarrassed and wrinkled my nose while rubbing it lightly.

“I’ll go now,” she smiled. “Tell Gikwang…”

“I said I would noona. Trust me. I know my hyung, I can handle him,” I said and watched her leave the room. I don’t think ten seconds past after she left before Gikwang re-entered the room. I looked away from my newest attempt of a braid and glanced at him.

“You just missed her,” I stated. He didn’t look at me.

“I know.” He sat down on the visitor’s chair “I… called your cousin, she’ll be here soon,” Gikwang said without meeting my eyes. Once again I let go off my braid and turned my full attention to Gikwang.

“My cousin? Which one?

“Your only female cousin…”

“Gikwang… what are you planning to do?” I asked in a serious tone. He looked into my eyes.

“Move on. To her it will seem like I have replaced her, that I have no need to take her back no matter what she says.”

“Which is a total lie,” I mumbled.

“How could I live with myself if I forced her to choose between me and the life of her father?” The answer was obvious, but I let Gikwang say it out loud himself. “I couldn’t.” Gikwang stood up. “I’m not like him… I’ll come visit you soon again, now… I have a date to attend.”

“Gikwang…” But I knew there was nothing I could say that would stop him from doing this. I looked after him as he left the room. “Good luck hyung.”

 

 

TAYEON’S POV

My sister looked more depressed than usual when she came home from work. As soon as we were alone in our room I took the chance.

“Unnie, what happened?” I asked worriedly. She shrugged.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” I asked incredulously. “Then what’s with that gloomy face?” I asked she glanced at me.

“I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“And…?” I pushed her.

“And our father needs a heart transplant to survive, how do you expect me to feel?” she hissed at me. I blinked a few times and crawled into a ball on my bed.

“I-I was just worried something else happened, to you,” I said. She sighed and shook her head.

“I know, I’m sorry… Good night, Taeyeon-ah.” She lay down in her bed. “At least I have a feeling that we will get some good news tomorrow…” Her tone was weird, but I didn’t want to bother her anymore. I lay down in my bed, completely unaware of what was going to happen, and how much would change during these upcoming days.

 

 

“Yoboseyo?” I was on my way out when the phone rang from the kitchen.

“Yoboseyo, I’m calling from the hospital…” I clenched the phone tight in my hand as I listened to what the doctor had to say, and despite the hard grip around the telephone I almost dropped it when he finally came to the point.

“We are preparing for the heart transplant now.” As soon as I hung up the phone I ran out the door. What was going on? How was this at all possible!? I arrived at the hospital ten minutes later and, despite the doctors’ warnings, I ran up all the stairs to my father’s room, but there was no one there. Where was the room for his surgery? I asked all the nurses but no one knew where my father was. I felt a lump building in my throat and I spun around on the spot looking for something to help me find the right track, but without result. There was only one place at this hospital I knew could take away my worry at this point.

 

 

As I walked towards the door to Yoseob’s room I could hear voices from inside. The door wasn’t completely closed and I hesitated with my hand on the handle.

“… I wanted to hold her so badly. Once I almost reached out my hands for her on impulse, but I put my hands in my pockets instead…”

“Gikwang, I…” I flinched out of my trance. This wasn’t my conversation to be eavesdropping on. I loudly stepped on the spot a few times and then pushed the handle down to prepare the boys on my arrival. Both of them looked at me as I stepped inside the room. I looked from Gikwang to Yoseob as I breathed heavily.

“My father is getting a heart transplant,” I breathed out. It seemed like the oxygen had left the room and the lump in my throat grew even bigger as I said the words out loud. Gikwang turned away from me and Yoseob reached out his arms for me. I walked up to the bed and accepted his embrace. Gikwang stood up.

“I’m glad to hear it, everything will be alright now.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and took a few steps towards the door.

“Hyung…” Yoseob said in a weak voice, but Gikwang didn’t stop. Yoseob and I looked at each other for a second. I released myself from Yoseob’s grip and followed Gikwang out.

“Gikwang oppa,” I said and he stopped in his tracks, his back still facing me. “Everything will be alright now, you said it yourself. It’s not too late, everything can be alright.” Gikwang half turned around and looked at me with those dark, serious eyes of his over his shoulder. He gave me a sad, crooked smile.

“It can’t be alright for everyone. I hope you will all be happy.” He turned forward and continued his trudging walk away from me. I slowly turned back and returned to Yoseob. I looked at him.

“Is it really too late for them?” I asked sadly.

“It’s never too late, but some obstacles are harder to overcome than others,” Yoseob said. “Their time will come.” I made an effort to walk up to him but he held up his hands. “Both your mother and your sister have been here to tell you to go home and babysit the kids. You have to go.” I ran up and hugged him. He kissed my forehead. “I’ll give you some news as well. I’ll be starting the chemotherapy tomorrow.” I looked up at him.

“About time, I want you out of here, you don’t belong here,” I pouted. He smiled.

“I was going to say something really really reeeally tacky, but I’ll just kiss you instead.”

“What were you going to say? That you belong with me?” I teased. He looked surprised and I knew what he was going to say. “How did you know!?” I imitated him and kissed his nose. “You are surprisingly predictable sometimes.”

 

 

My father’s heart transplant was successfully completed and most of my days were spent at the hospital, if not by my father’s side then by Yoseob’s bed. Yoseob was having a hard time dealing with the side effects of the chemotherapy. He often felt ill even though he didn’t want me to now, and I often spent my nights patting his back as he was throwing up or having monstrous nightmares. The nurses had long ago stopped trying to tell me to leave when visiting hours were over, I always found my way back in anyway.

“…but, Yoseob!”

“It’s not every day a boy turns five,” Yoseob nagged.

“You never turn the same age twice, pabo.”

“You are here with me every day, I think the nurses can take care of me for a few hours. Besides, I doubt that the twins even remember what their sister looks like,” Yoseob said. I started to protest but he interrupted me. “And I recently convinced myself to believe that you haven’t even bought them a birthday gift…” I didn’t answer and he wagged his finger at me. “Baaad sister! Lucky for you; I told my mother to bring over my twins from home. let me introduce you to Kwangmin and Youngmin,” Yoseob said and from nowhere he magically picked up two, pretty big, fluffy stuffed rabbits. “The pink one is for the older, the colour of a regent. The yellow one is for the youngest, the colour of a superstar.” He held out the rabbits to me and I accepted them.

“Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly.

“Of course I am, the colour-system is made up, no… built up by the almighty me, how can I be wring?” he asked, looking fake offended. I rolled my eyes.

“I meant about Kwangmin and Youngmin, they’re from your personal collection…”

“Pabo, you’re the one who wants to marry me, and if that’s the case they’ll be my little brothers, and little brothers are practically born to receive stuffed animals.” Yoseob shone brightly. He was having a good day today. I smiled back at him.

“You’re weird,” I said as I stood up. “I’ll be back later.”

 

 

YOSEOB’S POV

Finally Taeyeon left for the celebration of her twin brothers’ birthday. Not that I wanted her to leave, she just… had to stop thinking so much about me. Poor kids, they can’t be without sister and birthday gift because of me! That girl sure had a simplistic mind. It didn’t take many hours before she was back though, and how happy I was to see her. She was never going to be allowed to leave my sight again, who exactly told her to leave!? Oh, right, that was me…

“Taeyeon-ah,” I grinned as she returned to me. she just growled and buried herself under my covers. I guess her spirit wasn’t at its’ best. “Yah, little girl, what are you doing?”

“I hate him,” she muttered.

“Who? Him? Who him?” I asked and dug under the covers to get her out of there. “Him who?”

“That boyfriend of my sister…” Taeyeon sighed as I finally found her.

“What about him?” I asked.

“I don’t know exactly what happened, but he has turned my big sister into a zombie. She does everything he asks, accepts everything he does for her, for us, everything without a smile. I can’t even remember the last time I saw her smile. It’s like she has sold her soul to the devil,” Taeyeon whined and crawled up next to me. “And he is the devil,” she stated angrily. I bit my lip to prevent myself from spilling something she wasn’t supposed to hear. If Taeyeon didn’t know that the devil had paid the transplant it’s not my thing to tell.

“I’m sure your sister has her reasons,” I said instead, because I knew she had… Taeyeon sighed.

“She always has,” she mumbled and cuddled closer.

 

 

I woke up after a few hours of bad sleep and the room was dark. I felt like the world was spinning and there was something inside of me that had to come out. I tried to sit up and felt the nausea rise in my throat. I had been so well during the day and now this? I leaned over the side of the bed and hauled up my dinner in the bucket that nowadays seemed to be my most loyal companion, except for Taeyeon of course. My entire body was shaking and I hoped with all my heart that Taeyeon wouldn’t wake up, a completely unnecessary wish, as always. She was as sensitive as a mother when it comes to her child’s cry, it seemed like my breaths were enough to wake her up from her deepest sleep. She was already sitting up behind me and my back. She let her hand leap along my spine, up my neck and into my hair. I had tried to avoid this moment, but a certain other activity than talking was occupying my mouth at the moment, and it wasn’t exactly kissing… I heard Taeyeon gasp behind me as she pulled her hand through my hair. From the corner of my eye I could see that a few wisps of hair had gotten stuck between her fingers and followed her motion a bit before slowly falling to the floor. Without a word Taeyeon moved her hand to my back again and kept caressing it until I calmed down. She gave me a tissue and a glass of water. I leaned back against the pillows.

“Thank you,” I said quietly without looking at her, I knew she was angry… she sat with her legs crossed in front of me on the bed.

“Why haven’t you told me?” she asked reproachfully. “I thought you would have learnt from last time…”

“I’m sorry, I… it’s not like I could keep it from you for long anyway…”

“Then why keep it from me at all? It’s a natural side effect…”

“Then why are you making this such a big deal?” I asked. She stayed quiet for a while.

“I’m sorry for worrying about your health,” she said coldly. “There is a lot going on right now and you are really sick. I don’t know anything, you could…” She choked on her words.

“I won’t,” I said. “I won’t die, not yet.”

“How do you know?” she asked with tears in her voice. “You can’t know that!”

“I know I can’t know, but I can’t feel it. My time isn’t up yet.” I smiled at her. “Come here.” With trembling lips she forced a smile as she carefully lay down next to me with her head on my chest. She snuggled her nose into my neck and a small shiver was sent down my spine as I wondered if Taeyeon was going to miss this as much as I would. She sighed and her heavy breath tickled my face.

“I’m going to brush your hair tomorrow,” she mumbled.

“What’s left of it…”

“Shut up…”

“It makes me feel better when you are around,” I said.

“How come?” Taeyeon asked with her eyes closed. I blushed to myself.

“You make me happy.” She smiled against my neck.

“Happiness is the best medication, you know. That’s why I should be with you all the time,” she whispered and put a hand under her cheek to get more comfortable and unconsciously wetted her lips with her pink little tongue. I wetted my own lips.

“Ah, chincha, I can’t reach to kiss you from here,” I whined and she gave a sleepy smirk.

“Then don’t.”

“Wae!? What about the happiness? I need my medication!”

“Medicine should not be over consumed…”

“Chincha…”

 

 

It didn’t come any opportunity for Taeyeon to brush my hair the next day. Tests had to be done, my parents came on a visit and Gikwang spent a few hours with us before he had to go and help his father at work. And as Gikwang left, so did Taeyeon’s strength and she fell asleep against my shoulder. I smiled. I guess an afternoon nap wouldn’t hurt…I suppose I wasn’t so deeply asleep, because I fluttered my eyes open and with a blurry vision I saw Taeyeon’s sister entering my room.

 

 

TAEYEON’S POV

A disturbing moment beside me made me wake up and I groaned discontent and wanted to go back to sleep.

“Oh, sorry jagiya,” I heard Yoseob whisper and I prepared myself to go back to sleep, when suddenly I heard him talking to someone else. “So, tell me. Did you make up? Are you a couple again?” Was he talking to Gikwang?

“No, I thought he had moved on. Wasn’t he dating that other girl?” My sister!? I thought about pretending to wake up when Yoseob let out a groan and I decided that I shouldn’t interrupt this conversation.

 “Noona, are you stupid!? Aish! He overheard the conversation between you and Jonghyun. He heard everything! He heard how you told Jonghyun you didn’t have feelings for him, that you were in love with Gikwang,” Yoseob said.

“He was there?”

“Of course he was, he ran over to the restaurant as soon as he heard about your dad.”

“But, if he heard… if he knew how I felt… why?” Seriously, unnie!? You’re even more pabo than her soulmate, Gikwang. Hadn’t she ever watched an Asian drama? No, probably not…

“Don’t you understand? He knew that you needed the money. He didn’t want your feelings for him to stop you from getting what you really needed and that he couldn’t give you. He believed you could be happy with that other guy. He just made it easier for you to leave him. He loves you, he just wanted you to be happy.” I heard my sister groan.

“I can’t believe this!” she blurted out. I took my chance and stretched my arms over my head. I looked around.

“What’s going on?” I asked and sat up slowly. I caught my sister sending Yoseob a warning glare and he laughed nervously.

“Your sister just arrived, she has something to tell you.” I turned my attention to my sister.

“Unnie, what are you doing here so late?” I asked. She looked at her hands.

“Our apartment… there was a fire…”

“Did anyone get hurt!? Where is everyone? Omma, appa, the little ones?” I almost wanted to puke from the panic. Wasn’t it enough that I could lose Yoseob any time!?

“Calm down Taeyeon-ah, they’re fine, everyone are alright,” my sister assured me. I relaxed a bit and I felt the nausea from before disappear slowly. “The apartment on the other hand…” I saw in front of me. Every room covered in smoke, our furniture destroyed, all over our belongings burned… I suddenly turned ice cold. The diary. The book Yoseob had gotten me, I had put it underneath my bed. I held back my tears and looked at my sister.

“Where… are we going to live?” She didn’t look at me.

“I have taken care of it.”

“Was there anything that could be… saved, from the apartment I mean?” I asked carefully. She looked up at me and slowly shook her head.

“I’m sorry Taeyeon-ah, we’ll have to start from scratch…” my sister said with a sad look in her eyes. I nodded. Now, what would I have left of him?

 

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AN UPDATE !!!
Didn't expect one from me, neh? ^^ Here it is anyway though, and I am happy (or unhappy, because I absolutely LOVE writing this story) that the end is drawing near. Only one (maybe two if you ask nicely) chapter(s) to go. 
I will update as soon as I am back from BEIJING !!! 
Love you all!

Tinkerbell :)<3