Title: (not) In love
By: Kanae
Featuring: Yong Junhyung & 4minute’s Hyuna (Junah / HyungA) + 4minute's Sohyun.
Genre: General - Romance
Rating: G
Word Count: 3.364
Author’s Notes: The special 4beast stage mentioned here is the one they had at Mubank this 101217~ and the oneshot was inspired by Hyuna’s behavior during the rehearsal. 
Summary: Hyuna is not in love with Junhyung. But Sohyun just won't believe her.

(her skin felt like it was on fire. why was he so warm?)

It was a very peaceful afternoon in 4minute’s dorm. A rare happening nowadays, because lately their schedule has been packed with preparations for all the Christmas specials, Gayo Daejuns and their future comeback.

Taking full advantage of that well deserved peace and quiet, Kim Hyuna was this close to falling asleep when one Kwon Sohyun bounced inside their shared room and proceeded to unceremoniously drop herself on Hyuna’s bed.

“Your boyfriend’s birthday is almost here~!”

She chants gleefully, and Hyuna groans. Her reply is a complaint muffled by grogginess and drowned by the thick blanket covering every inch of her body. “Aish Junhyung isn’t my boyfriend”

“Aha! You say that, but you still knew I was talking about him!”

It takes Hyuna a confused moment of pause to realize that Sohyun was in fact right. She had never mentioned Junhyung. Which means she had set her a trap and Hyuna had been stupid—sleepy—enough to bite on the bait.

Damn her.

“He’s the only one with a birthday this week!” She shots back, whining. Really, why did Sohyun have to bring this up now out of all times?

“Excuses!” The younger girl dismisses easily, pulling on Hyuna’s blanket to no avail. Hyuna had a really strong hold on it and she refused to bulge. Sohyun ends up crossing her arms, affronted. “What about all the silly smiles you had earlier when you two were practicing together for our special stage? You had been complaining about being dead tired right before that!”

“I wasn’t smiling that much!”

(lies, lies, all lies. she could still feel the ghost of the grin threatening to split her face in half)

“Excuses! I’m not blind, unnie!” This time around she pushes Hyuna, hard. It’s a good thing the brunette was so well-tucked underneath the blankets or else she would have rolled off the bed. “Just admit it Hyuna unnie, you love him!”

That does it. The sleepiness evaporates off her like water in a desert.

And suddenly Sohyun doesn’t need to try anything anymore because Hyuna is meeting her eyes, a frown etched on her pretty features.

“I do not!”

“Jeez whatever you say Hyuna unnie, whatever you say”

Sohyun doesn’t sound convinced at all and that outrages Hyuna more than the push or the sheet-pulling ever did. She feels indignant even, a feeling which only intensifies as Sohyun stands up and leaves the room while obnoxiously covering her ears and humming an off-tune song, refusing to hear any more of the so called ‘excuses’ Hyuna had.

“They’re not excuses!”

But her yell falls on deaf ears and Hyuna is so distressed that she takes it off on the bed, flailing while stifling a frustrated whine by biting her lips.

Who’s Sohyun to say Hyuna is in love with anyone? Least of all Junhyung? Hyuna was Hyuna and no one could know her feelings better than Hyuna herself!

She wasn’t in love with him, she wasn’t in love with him!

And she’s going to prove it to Sohyun. She so would.

And then Sohyun would have no other option but to acknowledge that she had been wrong. Acknowledge that Hyuna wasn’t in love with Junhyung. At all.

-

It’s a good thing that Sohyun started it right when they were about to perform their special stage. That saves Hyuna a lot of troubles, because it means there’s only the rehearsal and the performance itself to go through and that would be it. No more skinship, no more dancing, no more nothing with Junhyung in her personal space.

Sohyun wouldn’t have anything to say, then. And unknown to her Hyuna would take her silence as the girl’s acknowledgement of her victory.

So when the time for the rehearsal comes, Hyuna makes sure that there are no traces of anything remotely resembling a smile on her face. And whenever it tried to show up (because for better or worse it always wanted to be there whenever Junhyung was near) she would twist her lips down in a scowl instead.

What silly smile, huh? Sohyun will have to eat her words now!

Satisfied by a job well done, she leaves the stage without even sparing Junhyung a glance. When it came to Kwon Sohyun it was better to not give her imagination any help.

So focused is Hyuna on getting away that she misses the hurried steps jolting to catch up with her quick pace. His voice takes her so aback that she almost halts.

He’s right by her side.

“Yah I didn’t know they’d make us practice that part, too.” Junhyung says out of nowhere as if they had been carrying a conversation Hyuna wasn’t aware of. And (oh god) he’s smiling so widely, so bashfully (it light up his eyes and made him look even more handsome) that Hyuna has to do an enormous effort to restrain herself from looking at him again. The urge to mirror his expression was strong enough as it was. “Did you guys know we’d have to?”

She pretends to ignore his question. She needed to cut him short before Sohyun could see them or (worse) before she could lose the grip she had on herself.

“Sorry, I need to hurry. Noona wants to do my makeup at once.”

Her voice is stern, curt. It makes Junhyung halt.

“Ah, right”

The boy doesn’t bother to try and keep up with her pace anymore, and neither does he bother trying to find a way to get any more words out of her. Hyuna leaves him behind without even looking back, and soon enough she can’t hear his footsteps anymore.

She still hears his voice loud and clear, however. Not what he had said, but rather, the words he had held back.

She’s grateful he didn’t call her out on her lie.

-

Hyuna doesn’t hear anything from him the following day and she doesn’t bother to contact him, either. It was better off that way; she didn’t want to ignore him or to be rude to him out of all people, but she had to show Sohyun that she was wrong. She wasn’t in love with Junhyung. She didn’t miss his presence, or his voice, or his touch or his smell or his laughter or anything related to him. Really.

Because she simply was not in love with him. Period.

So not seeing him was the best route Hyuna could think of to fulfill her goal.

But things don’t go her way. (when do they ever?)

“Hey, Hyuna!” 

Oh, no.

She wonders if she should try to pretend she didn’t hear his call. The thought is dismissed almost as fast as it came however, as she realizes that in her stupor she has even stopped walking altogether.

Which of course gave him the perfect chance to catch up with her.

Way to go, Hyuna-yah.

She would have groaned if she could, but there was no way he would have missed it, so she swallows her frustration down and turns around. Only to come face to face with a smiling Yong Junhyung.

Hyuna is horrified to realize that she’s starting to smile back and barely manages to catch herself in time to stop.

(Sohyun wasn’t near, but it was better to play safe)

“Ah, Junhyung oppa. Is something the matter?”

Hyuna tries to sound as nonchalant as possible and apparently she succeeds, because Junhyung frowns, the smile leaving his face as if chased away by an invisible force.

“Are you feeling okay?”

There’s concern in his voice and it makes something warm inside of her stir painfully. Her lips open up on their own and Hyuna has to bite down on her tongue to hold the words back. What was this urge to comfort him? What was this urge to tell him not to worry, to let him know she was fine? Why oh why was it so strong?

Hyuna feels like she’s choking. And it seems to show in her expression, because suddenly Junhyung’s arm is moving—and Hyuna doesn’t know how she does it, but she manages to grab a hold of his wrist before he can place his palm of her forehead.

(her skin felt like it was on fire. why was he so warm?)

“I’m fine.” She lies, mouth dry. “Just a bit tired.” Half-truths. She lets go of his wrist, swallows the lump in . “I should go back to practice now. I’ll see you around”

She gives him a small wave and turns her back on him, leaves without a single word. For an unbearable moment she holds her breath and thinks (fears) he’s going to call her back. But he doesn’t. And she’s thankful yet again.

His silence made things easier.

-

They don’t talk for the rest of the day, or the next for that matter. Hyuna carries on through her schedule pretending that fact makes her feel self-entitled, satisfied.

The truth is it feels wrong. She’s used to his presence, and by now she can be honest enough (to herself) to admit she sort of misses it. A bit.

Oh, please—

Scratch that. She misses him a lot.

But that doesn’t mean she was in love with him, and that was something Sohyun wouldn’t get. So she had to keep her distance even though it was starting to make her feel (miserable) bad.

What was so hard to get about that, anyway? Was it so unthinkable that she wasn’t in love with Junhyung?

She resists the urge to sigh, curled up on her side with her mobile in hand. The clock changes to 11:58PM and Hyuna closes her eyes, deep in thought.

2 minutes left to Junhyung’s birthday.

He would have a party tomorrow. He had told her that much before she began to (avoid him) keep her distance, but now Hyuna doesn’t know whether she should go or not. Sure, he was her friend; but therein laid the problem.

He was only her friend. And sometimes the line between that only and more than got blurred, blurred enough for Sohyun to notice and call her out on it. Hyuna never meant to let that happen, and so Sohyun’s words had been like a slap in the face. They had been like a wake-up call, a warning even (though she would never admit that to the younger girl)

Thanks to them, Hyuna has realized that the best thing to do is keep her distance for a while, allow that line to strengthen a bit more. Because she wasn’t in love with Junhyung, not yet at least, and she wouldn’t be if she could help it.

And she can help it. She has to.

Hyuna opens her eyes and stares down at her phone before flipping it open, beginning to type away. Originally she had planned to call him. She had been planning this for weeks, had even entertained the thought of composing him a congratulations on your birthday rap, even if it was just so that he could nag at her and her lack of creativity and bad rhymes. She would probably end up annoyed, but he would be amused and that’s all that mattered, right? Somehow she always ended up laughing whenever he did, even if she was the joke.

But that was then and this is now. So today she settles for a simple text message and clicks send exactly at 11:59.40PM

Happy Birthday~! I hope you have a nice day~ Take care ^^

She does sigh this time and curls up a bit more in herself, her chest feeling unusually tight; she’s ready to attempt to sleep but she hasn’t even put the mobile away when it begins to vibrate. Someone was calling her.

Hyuna’s eyes widen as she looks at the caller ID. She wastes no time on replying, purely out of reflex.

“Junhyung oppa?” 

‘Why so surprised? Were you expecting someone else?’ He teases, but the truth is that still doesn’t explain why he’s calling her. And she wants to know. She needs to know.

So she asks just that.

‘It’s my birthday, duh. I can call whomever I want’

“Aigoo, shouldn’t it be the other way around? People are supposed to be calling you, you know?” She sounds amused despite herself, and doesn’t bother to erase the smile curving her lips. Sohyun was asleep, and it was his birthday. It didn’t matter to be lenient just once, did it?

‘Yeah, I guess’ Hyuna can feel that he isn’t quite finished yet, so she remains silent until he speaks again. ‘So… why didn’t you call me?’

Hyuna’s breath gets caught in . That was an unexpected low blow. And just like that, she felt herself facing a dead-end.

The line remains silent on the other end and she isn’t sure whether Junhyung was hesitating, or merely waiting for her to speak up. She doesn’t though, so Junhyung continues, heaving in a sigh.

‘Are you angry at me, Hyuna? Did I do something that pissed you off?’

“What are you talking about…?” She asks, trying to play the oblivious card but knowing at once it would be futile. She can almost picture him rolling his eyes, a frown in his concerned features.

‘Don’t try to play dumb, Hyuna-yah. You’ve been avoiding me, and I want to know why. That’s all.’

Even then—despite everything, he still wasn’t pressuring her. He still wasn’t willing to push more than she could take or ask for anything more than she could give.

Hyuna finds herself speechless. How can she tell him that she has been avoiding him because Sohyun thinks she’s in love with him and that bothers—no, frightens her? How can she tell him that she was just trying to prove her friend wrong, and that the only way she could think of was avoiding him because she knows that if she continues acting the same way, Sohyun would keep getting the same impression?

How can she tell him all that while he’s behaving so maturely? So selfless? She has been acting on nothing but her own interests while Junhyung has been only been thinking of her all along. Faced with such a fact her reasoning sounds stupid and childish even to her ears.

God, she has been such an idiot. She feels ashamed of herself.

Her eyes itch and her vision gets watery, but she giggles despite herself. She doesn’t want him to worry, not anymore, and she isn’t brave enough to admit how stupid she has been. So she resorts to the only option she has left.

“Yah! You fell for it!”

Junhyung doesn’t bother to hide his confusion. ‘Huh? What are you talking about?’

Hyuna laughs some more, drying unleashed tears with her fingers and willing her hands to stop shaking. “It was an act, an act~! For your birthday~!”

The lies come to her effortlessly and Hyuna almost believes them herself. Almost.

‘Let me get this straight.’ Starts Junhyung, taking a deep breath. ‘You wanted to give me a surprise for my birthday, and that’s why you pretended to be angry at me?’

A pause. He sounds incredulous, but Hyuna does nothing to contradict anything he has said; it’s the truth after all—or at least it is the truth she has orchestrated, and when Junhyung speaks again he sounds downright appalled.

‘What are you, twelve?’

“Aigoo, don’t be like that~! You know I totally got you!” Hyuna whines into the speaker, unknowingly doing a pretty good job at sounding twelve. Which was quite fitting, since Hyuna still felt fairly childish due to her behavior for the past few days.

(not that she would tell Junhyung that, mind you)

‘That I can’t deny.’ His defeated admission is followed by a sigh. ‘Where’s my surprise, anyway?’

At that Hyuna can’t help but smile. “You have to drop by Cube before going to Inkigayo, right? I’ll give it to you then”

‘Alright. I better love it, Hyuna.’ He meant that. His tone made it clear. But it also gave Hyuna a glimpse of something else, so she waits. She recognizes just fine the way Junhyung’s voice sounds when he’s thinking of how to word his thoughts.

‘I seriously thought I had done something to tick you off real bad this time. You usually tell me whenever you’re angry at me and throw a temper tantrum instead of avoiding me.’

Hyuna’s eyes soften and she places a hand above her heart, feeling pacified by its calm but quick, warm beats. “You were worried?”

Why is the underlying question she doesn’t trust herself to make, but Junhyung gets it just fine. And his voice replies just as softly as hers had.

‘Of course I was, idiot. You’re my… friend, Hyuna. You may not hear me say this often, but I cherish you, you know? It’s not like I wouldn’t care if you suddenly stopped talking to me’

Hyuna’s cheeks are warm like sunshine. She hadn’t imagined that pause. She’s sure she hadn’t. “Aish, idiot. It’s your birthday, how come I’m the one getting all the sweet words?”

Junhyung chuckles, and once again Hyuna is sure she isn’t imagining that air of relief in the action. He thought she had missed it—that pause, but she hadn’t. That knowledge sends a current of electricity down her veins. ‘You’re right. Yah, can I take them back?’

Hyuna shakes her head, a completely useless movement given he wasn’t there to see it but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was too happy. “Nope. I’ll keep those close to my heart”

It’s corny, and girly, but she can’t fight off the words and it’s not like they weren’t true. Junhyung makes no fun of her, says nothing of it, and Hyuna feels so grateful that she could just—she could just—

‘Alright. You do that’ His voice is a fond whisper, and Hyuna bites her tongue and swallows down before she could voice out her heart.

“Neh, shouldn’t you hang up already? People are probably calling you, you know~” She giggles. “Your inbox must be full of messages by now”

Junhyung is smirking, she knows it. ‘Nah. I don’t think I’ll get that many calls, anyway. But it’s late and I’m sleepy so I think I’ll hung up, yeah’

“Okay”

‘… See you tomorrow, then? And don’t forget my surprise!’

"I won’t, I promise!”

A smile followed by a nervous bit on her lower lip, and then she’s giving in to her heart’s pleas.

“Hey, Junhyung oppa?”

‘Hmm?’

“Happy Birthday. I love you”

And it was true. It has been true for a while, and Hyuna is tired of running away.

The line remains silent. Hyuna is about to hang up, thinking that perhaps he had already ended the call. But then she hears his voice and understands the meaning behind the long pause.

He still sounds breathless despite of it.

‘Thanks. Sleep well, Hyuna-yah’

She nods but says nothing. She doesn’t trust .

When the call ends with a soft click, she stares at the phone for a long moment before clutching it against her chest, a content smile on her face.

Sohyun could say whatever she wanted now, Hyuna didn’t mind.

As long as she didn’t in front of Junhyung, that is. She isn’t sure she’s quite ready yet to let him know the real meaning behind her I love you (and the many more that are sure to come. now that she has gotten it out of her chest all she wants is to say it more often)

The brunette breathes in deeply, her lungs expanding fully. Her chest feels deliriously light and she immerses herself in the feeling. It felt nice to be so sincere. To be able to say it, once and for all—

Hyuna was in love with Yong Junnyung.

She had wanted to do something about it, but tonight she has realized that she can’t. It was already too late for that.

She fell for him since a long time ago.