speech balloon

To Lee Sungmin

"I loved you, you loved me; we loved each other."

This should be their line.

Her story about her first love, of the oppa on the street with a girlfriend, is not a lie. She did cry for the guy. But not as hard and not as long as how much she cried when she realized she has fallen for Sungmin -- and somehow, he has, too --- but they can never and will never be.

He was her first true love.
The first boy to whom she felt that she can love and be loved in return.

But she was young then. And young hearts are confused hearts.

She still regrets not being able to tell him this. Maybe she'll tell him. Maybe she won't.
Only time will tell.
 

To Cho Kyuhyun

"I loved you."

She has no idea when it happened. Must be before SNSD debuted. Or during the Chunji call. Or after Gee. Or since she first heard that voice --- to which she doesn't remember anymore.

She liked him too much that it's too obvious. But Kyuhyun was always distant, shy, awkward, or all of the above. At times, he'd be dropping clues. Clues that everyone will understand except for her.

But a girl needs to know. 
And a girl can't wait forever.

She has no idea about the time when she started liking him, but she is dead sure that certain time is over now.

So, there's really no need for him to know.
 

To Choi Siwon

"I was in love with you. But I love you now."

They were acting partners back in their trainee days. They'd play roles of siblings, friends, enemies, colleagues, and sometimes, lovers. Oh, she always wished the scripts for the day will be about lovers. So that she can hold his hand, look straight into his eyes, and tell him she's head over heels in love.

Which must be why she had a good laugh when she read the scandal about them. Had it happened years ago, she might be jumping up and down for joy.

But God is good and love is fair.

She's completely happy that the title SMTown's Choi Siblings is reserved only for her and him.
Siwon is still handsome and perfect and everything that is wonderful.

He is still her love.

But it isn't the fickle romantic love she used to have before.

That love grew into something that will last forever.
And somehow, she prefers it better that way.
 

To Hankyung

"I really, really, really like you."

Sometimes she thinks that she's one of the reasons why he left Super Junior. Maybe she has been too familiar and comfortable with him --- barging into the SJ rehearsal room just to ask for his cooking, consistently calling him her "Chinese Chef", annoying him with her crazy aegyo whenever she feels like it. Hankyung never said anything of course. He'd just smile that kind smile of his and do whatever people wants him to do.

She blames herself for failing to notice the lack of glimmer in his eyes. She blames herself for not being able to see what had happened. But mostly, she blames herself for not being able to thank him and tell him what she really wants.

Tell him that she likes the way he dances, the way he smiles, the way his broken Korean sounds, the way he cooks for everyone --- the way he is. That he is wonderful and she likes him better than his Beijing Fried Rice.
 

To Jung Yunho

"I'm still waiting..."

She's a Cassiopeia. And she's proud of it. But Yunho will only laugh and pat her head afterwards. He thinks of it as a joke and thanks her anyway for being the supportive label mate that she is. She'd make faces and sing him TVXQ's songs and even do the overrated Mirotic chin dance but the tall man will just smile and sigh "Ah, Syoungie~~" and mess her hair again.

Half of her wants to tell him that she has always liked him even when they just started at the academy. That he has always been the smart, talented, handsome, and responsible Jung Yunho that she has always adored.

But of course the other half wants her to just simply shut up. To just enjoy the unique and comfortable friendship that they have. None of which suggests platonic sibling love like that of Siwon's and neither of the suggestive love like that of Kyuhyun's.

She is torn between them being together and them being friends forever.
And until she can decide what she likes most, she'd be waiting.

To Shim Changmin

"Thank you."

There has always been an existing gap between her and the boy. She's a training sunbae but Changmin debuted first. Regardless of all the similarities, there's never really a certain point that their time has met perfectly. Which is why nobody asked about the awkward is because the awkward is already expected.  But then, she still wants to share a lunch with him (Japanese Buffet will be perfect), maybe have a work out session together, or just simply be able to sit down and talk without the air of awkwardness between them.

Yeonhee says Changmin is a really funny guy and Sooyoung wants to experience this kind of funny first-hand.

So that day when they met at the set of Paradise Ranch, Changmin went "oh" and she's like "hi" and Yeonhee was all "oh you guys! blah blah blah" and before the day ended she has this stupid smile on her face because, apparently, Changmin IS really funny, her Japanese is still better than his --- though he has a more impressive eating record than that of hers --- and he's one real cool person.

There's something about saying it in your native tongue but she hoped he felt the sincere "arigatou gozaimasu" she gave him during the Music Station recording.

Seeing those mismatched eyes as he waves at her when they left the station tells her that he got the message.

And maybe, just maybe, a Japanese Buffet won't be too far from the corner.