winter

i wish you courage.

She stares at the birthday card she has received. She flips the cardboard to  check the sender again. Shim Changmin.

Her brows crease in confusion as thoughts run wild inside her head. She does  not understand.

She picks up the box that came with the greeting card and pulls the ribbon  slowly. The box opens and she takes out a glass ball paperweight inside. She  shakes it slightly and white flakes swim around the small figure of a girl sitting  on a bench. A winter scene.
 
Sooyoung stares at the glass ball again. Her line of thought breaks when the rest  of her group members swarm around her; each one pushing her gift towards her  face. She lets herself get drowned in the love showered by the girls. Smiles,  greetings, shouts of joy, a plateful of icing on the face, and screams of laughter.  The soft floor echoes of the tap of their soles as they run out of the room.

She returns hours later, exhausted but happy. She dumps the rest of the late  presents on the side of her bed, planning to open it the day after. She bends  down to clean up the mess of torn paper and discarded ribbons from the floor  when she sees the glass ball again. She picks it up and places it on her bedside table.

your gift is rather weird but thanks anyway. she tries to make herself sound  comfortable as she approaches the young man the next day.

Shim Changmin replies with a blank expression.

err, the glass ball. she winces, thumbnail scratching the other as she wishes for  the ground to open and swallow her whole.

what's weird about it? he asks in a tone void of any doubt, and Sooyoung  wonders whether the statement is actually a challenge and not a question.

why is the girl sitting on a bench on a winter day without winter clothes on? The  words jump out before she can hold them.

He says nothing. He looks at her for about forever before he spoke.

because she's brave.

The air freezes. She doesn't know what to say next. She wants to stand up and  leave but she is rooted to the spot. Just when she thought her life is at its end  and the world is falling head-first on her shoulders, he continues.

they say you are strong, courageous, brave... he lets the words linger for a  moment.
but i think you're not. He looks straight at her as he says it.

She does not blink. Her expression softens. She looks at her feet and smiles.  you're right.

She lets out a sigh before going on. i'm glad someone noticed.

i noticed it because i get scared myself, too. he his head on one side and  closes his eyes. i'm not as brave as people think i am.

She looks at the boy and an understanding smile made its way on her lips. i wish you courage too, then. she says with a tone of finality.

He replies with a silent nod. And the hush stretches between them. Nobody tries  to break it. It is, after all, comfortable. The kind of quiescence you'd want when  you're about to close your eyes and drift off to slumberland.

Maybe the heartfelt wishes came true as silence enveloped them. As if the  moment they have shared in hush understanding has fuelled something which  could only be made sense of by that one simple word: courage.

Shim Changmin opens his eyes and looks at the girl beside him. what is it that  you are afraid of most? he asks nonchalantly as if all the courage in the world is  pulsating in his veins.

falling in love. the girl answers back, not in any way less courageous than how  the question was asked.

oh.
have you tried it?
maybe.
is it worth the risk?
sometimes.
you're so brave.

Changmin looks up upon hearing the compliment. He lets his gaze fall on her  face before softly answering. not all the time.

i wish i'm half as brave as you. The girl sighs and stands up from her seat. She  goes on before the boy could say another word.

it's late now and i have to keep going. she faces the young man and gives a curt bow. thank you for the conversation, changmin-ssi.

Her head still down as she bites her lip, careful not to let the words she wants to  say get the better of her again.

(i wish i'd still be this brave to talk with you the next time around)

She stands up and turns on her back. She walks straight ahead without looking  back at him.

Changmin watches her retreating figure and whispers something to himself.

(i wish i'm brave enough to let you know what i really feel)

He then takes out a small box from his pocket; scrawled letters written on top of  the lid. will you fall in love with me?

He pries open the lid and takes a glass ball. It is of detailed similarity to the one  he gave her, except that the girl sitting on the bench isn't alone anymore.

He gives the ball a slight shake and white flakes fall gracefully around the two  small figures of a girl and a boy; faces shining with loving smiles, their arms  wrapped around each other in a warm embrace. A sharp contrast to the winter  scene around them.

He returns the glass ball in the box and tucks it back inside his pocket.