soleil

It was near dusk.

The sun hid behind the steel-gray clouds and the thunder that roared from miles away promised a turbulent night ahead. The darkening sky met with the bland cityscape far on the horizon. In where, a cemented road paved its way through the sea of towering concrete blocks; its form glimmered golden from the headlights of cars traversing along its back as the last light of day left the earth.

In the middle of the crawling traffic was a van.

Amidst the noise of eight other females, a girl remained sound asleep inside the car. Her hair, tangled on intricate webs and her body, fragile. She sat in a distorted manner, one foot clipped to her side and the other foot dangling on the side of her seat. Her head bobbed rhythmically to the bumps the car take on each curve.

Beside her, another girl – a year younger – jerked awake from her slumber. She looked at her sleeping friend and smiled sadly.

“She fell asleep. She's usually one of the last people who get tired after a day's work. She must be tired.”

The frail girl seemed to hear her. She raised her head and looked outside the window. It was starting to drizzle; the raindrops nestled like needles on the glass windows.

“What time is it?” the frail girl asked.

“Around six, Sooyoung-unnie.”

“We've been traveling for ages. Aren't we there yet?”

“Don't you like traveling a lot?”

“I...” she paused and looked outside the windows. "I don't know. I'm just not in the mood to be anywhere except home right now."

The younger girl looked at her quietly but didn't say a word.

Silence.

Choi Sooyoung looked outside the windows again. The drizzle has stopped and the outline of the moon can be seen from behind the clouds. The moon sailed soulfully away from the mass of lumpy clouds; like a blurred plate hanging from the windows of heaven.

“The moon is bleeding.” she muttered.

Seo Joohyun looked at her.

“I think it's beautiful. Rarely would you see a moon in red tinge.”

“I don't want to see the moon in red...” She looked at her friend, “You want to hear why?”

The sentence was inviting but the tone she used was flat. The younger girl bit her tongue and moved awkwardly in her position.

“Unnie, we're going to be home soon.” 

Sooyoung kept talking as if she didn't hear a word.

“It doesn't matter, I'll tell it to you anyway...”

Seohyun gave her an understanding look, promting her to continue. And continue, she did.

“It was like very much like this... After the concert... With the moon staring at us like a swollen eye..."

She heaved out a fat sigh.

“The moon is beautiful... I really liked the moon above all. It's something special. I like the way it glows... it reminds me of faked emotions. Like a lady smiling even if she really feels like crying... The moon is very mysterious.”  

She looked at the younger girl for a long while and saw her looking down with a guilty look on her face.   

“I'm sorry, I'm being weird again..."

"No, unnie." She said quietly. "Y-you can let it out... if you want to."  

Sooyoung shifted her eyes outside the car window and started speaking monotonously.

“... we're not close friends... you know that... we're not even friends, at all... he is always alone... always detached... until he started getting close... closer than what I expected he would be... it happened that night, when the moon was red... I don't know what got into him... what got into him to do it all of a sudden... he grabbed my hand and dragged me in his car..." Her words lingered in the air.

"I'm surprised nobody stopped us... what were they thinking? did I look like I was looking forward to it? I guess it just doesn't matter now... what for anyway?" She paused for a while, like one would do when they're taking a bitter drink and it scars the throat. 

"...I mean, who would have thought... the bastard is capable of doing things like that... and even if I tell them that I didn't want it... who would believe me?" She looked at the younger girl with blaming eyes. "Will you believe me?"

"Unnie..."

"But that's beside the point. He drove on until we arrived at Seonyudo... the park was empty that night... it's not even winter... it was weird... it's late and we sat there in silence... he was staring at the dashboard of his car... and I was looking at the moon... the moon is unusually red... he dragged me out and soon we were walking along the bank of the Han river... I do not like it when people drag me... but I like his grip on my wrist... I like his grip... I liked his grip... that night, when I came home, I was different... do you understand?"

Seohyun nodded her head even if the expression on her face said otherwise. Sooyoung didn't seem to notice as she rambled on.

"I still want to believe that God must have planned that to happen... it was my first... it was cold... it was...” Her voice breaks. "It was a mistake."

“Unnie..." Seohyun's voice was pleading. She looked down, unable to look at the bitter look on the older girl's face.

"It was a mistake... but I never thought about it that way that night..."

A lone tear spilled unto her cheek and she wiped it away before the younger girl could notice. 

"But he told me he love me, y'know... he even gave me a ing ring..." She spat the last two words.   

Silence.  

"Unnie...” she paused, hesitant to continue. She breathed in deeply before she went on. "Op-oppa is remorseful."

Sooyoung scoffed at the statement but the younger girl continued. "Why won't you accept him?"  

Hush.

More silence.  

Sooyoung's hand moved to touch her belly but it fell back on the car seat with her fists enclosed tightly. It stayed that way for a while before her fingers uncurled weakly against the velvet covers.

“Because it was too late... and even if it isn't, I know the best things don't last long...”  

Sooyoung smiled feebly at the confused look on the younger girl's face and then looked out the window again to see the now-faint-colored moon being engulfed by the gray clouds around it.

A/N: and now you shall be boggled by the symbolisms. Let the guesses begin. :))