❝chapter three
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                                   Krystal's POV

Every step I took sounded a deafening echo. The used to be haven and home seemed to be a stranger's sanctuary that I have invaded into after being lost. Yes, I knew I was lost. The glimmering floor, the white walls, the porcelain decorations... everything seemed novel and out of place. I felt alienated inside my own home without my family. It was then that it fully ocurred to me - I was at deep loss.

I turned to Aunt Inna, whose eyes were fixed on the large family portrait hanging on the wall. "Where's Lay, auntie?"

"He was talking to somebody a while ago. He looked familiar, but my eyes were blurry so I was not able to fully recognize. Lay signalled me to go ahead." She caressed her hands on my hair. "You need to rest, dear. Lay would be here as he promised."

I nodded. My eyes felt swollen despite the absence of crying and my heart sank as I sat on the sofa, facing the used to be portrait of happiness. I missed them and it terribly pained me.

The memories I had with them came rushing through my mind in vague yet recognizable sequences. I remembered running around as I chase after Sooyeon-unnie, watching movies until late evening with everyone, preparing and eating every meal together, hugging dad after a long day at school, letting my mom brush my long hair, telling them I love them... bits and pieces of memoirs flickered in my mind. At that very moment, they were no longer my life, but simply memories.

I could not contain the heaviness in my chest. At the very rare instances of sadness, I always had them back-up and I always knew what to do. I always knew everything was going to be fine. Different was the case at that moment, and I knew I had to break down. But I couln't. The only person aside from my family who could make me vent everything out was not even there.

I ran to my bedroom, leaving Aunt Inna chasing after me. I heard the doctor tell her not to leave me alone. They might think I might have turned into an insane despressed woman. I did not stop though. I kept on running to my bedroom, hoping to shut the world before me.

I was not aware of how long I stayed frozen as I stood still at the middle of the room. I was staring into a thin blank air that somehow made me feel as numb as I can possibly be. The agendum of shutting the world was almost at my every hands. Almost, that is. Such immunity for any emotion was disturbed by a familiar and sentimental scent that dominated the atmosphere as the wind blew through my window. The scent used to be cool and comforting, yet at that moment it was nothing but a pain - a strong pain that was triggered by a supressed memory. It was the smell of my perfume - my sister's gift to me on my birthday. It was the last gift I could ever receive from her.

I slid down the wall and hugged my knees, hoping I could comfort myself. To no effect, I ended up feeling just worse than planned. I slapped my face in hope of waking up from such nightmare, but no. It was real - tragically real.

Twice a knock was heard, shifting my attention. "Krystal, are you there?" It was Lay, with no doubt. "I know you're there, so please open this door." He calmly demanded - as calm as he always was. "Please. Now."

I stood up from sulking on the cold floor, thinking his arms around mine might be some healing, even just for a temporary point in time. "Promise me you won't nag." I said as I reached for the knob, making sure of the serenity I needed before I opened the door.

"I never nagged. Do I?" I can imagine him raising a brow.

Opening the door, I was surprised to see him with someone - a persona I never expected nor wanted to see at the very moment. I turned my gaze back to Lay; a glare was enough for him to comprehend my sentiment.

"He said he wanted to talk to you." Lay explained. "It's an option I find to be better than allowing you to sulk in that room." The look of worry on his face was evident and the same feel was true with the touch of his hand on my arm.

I leaned at Lay as if needing some sense of balance. In fact, I did need more than that - I needed a sense of companionship; I was sick of feeling alone.

"What do you want, Kris?" I questioned without looking at the face I loathed.

"Let's talk." His deep voice roared in my ears. "Shall we?" It had been countless months since I saw him and even more months since I last heard his voice. It irked me to remember the last time we did, but I could not help but long for the conversations we used to have. 

Lay was a best friend; Kris was a different one. At one point, we were more than what it took friendship to be. It was sad how it seemed to become less because of one mistake.

"Talk?" My eyes remained locked on the floor, not wanting to catch his eye. "I don't think I have something to say to you."

"But I do." He sounded sincere and earnest - something that the coldness in him seldom accounted to. He took hold of a hand of mine, making me flinch with his touch. It had been ages since we had such close distance from each other.

"You heard her, Kris." Lay grabbed his wrist away from me. "She doesn't want to talk to you."

He glared at Lay, making a hint of a troublesome atmosphere. I wanted to dare him to errupt without consideration, yet instead, he slowly loosened his hold onto me and hung his head low.

"You decision, Krystal." He hand made its way to his hair. Knowing him, he was undeniably in a negative vibe. "I'll respect any decision you make."

The next thing I knew, Kris and I were seated on the garden swing. We were seated beside each other, yet a signifanct distance in between paved the way for a boundary. The swing did not fulfill its purpose, though; it remained still and motionless, just like us.

I did not understand what I felt nor how my senses seemed to turn, but I was somehow diverted from my loss. Kris' effect, I used to call it. His presence just somehow creates a comforting atmosphere to envelope me no matter what I was going through. I did not know such effect still existed until that time. I thought I have completely shrugged him off my life. The truth was, I had to admit that I missed his company.

An hour had probably passed, yet we were still in a silence that never seemed to end. About half an hour prior, he started moving his feet to put the swing into a cradling motion. It somehow lulled me into a dizzy feeling of sleep, which I haven't had since I recovered from the comatose.

Silence continued, yet I did not feel burdened at all. I knew I was not wasting my time. Perhaps it was better that way, letting the so-called Kris' effect take its course without any word at all.

After another few minutes, however, I knew I had to stop. "I got to go back in." My voice came like a whisper. Just as I was about to get up from my seat, however, a pair of warm arms pulled me back into an embrace.

Kris and I were standing in silence again. My back was facing him as his arms wrapped around me. I flinched at the first second, yet I cannot deny his warmth.

"You're hurting right now and I know that," He began. "I might be the last person to ease it away... I know I have caused you hurt as much, but let me at least do something for you, Krystal."

My heart started to tighten once again. The loss took its way to haunt me, making me feel much terrible as ever.

He turned me around to face him, before he cupped my face. "Cry it out." It sounded like a demand, yet Kris' way has always been as such.

"I don't cry. I never cry. And... I don't want to cry." I balled my hands into a fist as I tried to gather enough strength.

He caressed my face, softening me. "It's okay, Krystal. You don't need to be strong in front of me." His eyes was full of emotions I cannot comprehend, yet something told me to trust him again. "Cry it out. Scream at me, or punch me. I'll accept anything. You need to vent everything out."

Just like that, my heart broke down. The pain hit the highest peak for once, yet it subsided into Kris' comforting caress at my back. For the first time since the utter loss, I sobbed and grieved, not minding if it was in front of a man I used to distrust. My tears flowed harder than the storm on that tragic night. My mind echoed the varied cries for dear life and recalled every last encounter with the most precious people in my life. I clung into Kris' shirt, drenching it with my endless tears. I punched his chest, not in any care if it hurt him. He used to tell me my hands were too soft to hurt anyway. I screamed and mourned as hard as I supressed my sorrow.

"Why did they leave me, Kris?" I continued my sobs. "Why did they leave me all alone? I need them right now. I need them back.  What have I done to deserve all these? What am I going to do?"

He did not speak an answer to my questions, and I preferred it that way. All I needed was someone to listen to me. I began to slow my breathing down as my tears subsided. As soon as I was calmed down, Kris wiped the tears off my face. I could not help but stare at him and wonder how he never changed at all, except for reddish eyes. I shurugged myself out of the thought. Kris never cries.

I did not want him to see my puffy eyes so I trapped myself around him again. There was no point in thinking I was a lousy and clingy ex-girlfriend. After all, we were friends from the very beginning even before any romance and pain happened.

"I saw and heard dad ensuring everybody's safety. He did not even think for his. And my mom, I know how she was badly worried of us. She was in panic. For the very last time, she hugged me tight and made me promise her to hold on... to be saved. And Sooyeon-unnie, she was supposedly on that safety boat already, but she remained on the yacht just to search for me." I was not crying anymore, but I felt the need to disclose my sentiments. "Tell me, Kris. Do you think they were in pain when they..." My voice trailed off. I closed my eyes to supress the thought.

"All I know is they're in a safer place right now." Kris endlessly caressed my back. "And you just earned three more angels." I did not know why since I was not looking at him, but his voice shook.

"Thank you" I said as I broke the embrace. "I guess they ensured me of another two here. Lay and of course you, Kris."

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✉(A/N).

Hello there! How was the this chapter?
Lay's POV for the next. And more mysteries will reveal hints.
Feel free to comment ^^
               -xoxoyixing
 

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