Secret du bonheur

His breakfast had remained untouched while his gaze had been glued to the front door, anxiety spreading inside his body like a slow poison. He had gotten a phone call two days ago with the question whether he was still in need of a housemate to share the house and bills with. Lu Han had eagerly answered that he was, indeed, still in need of a housemate, and the other person had asked if it was alright for him to move in two days later. Lu Han had told the other that that would be no problem, but now he was starting to feel uncomfortable. The thought that some stranger was going to live under the same roof as him finally sunk in, causing an uneasy feeling to whirl in his stomach.

At least he sounded like a good guy, Lu Han comforted himself as he glanced at the clock on the soft white wall, telling him that the other was going to arrive anytime soon. He had made sure that everything looked clean, organized, just to give this person a good first impression of this otherwise plain ordinary apartment. His heart skipped a beat when a distinct ring sound filled the apartment, announcing his new housemate’s arrival. He hastily stood up from his seat, straightened his shirt before rushing to the door, praying silently that this person would be nice and that they would get along well. He opened the door in one smooth movement, eyes landing on his new housemate. Lu Han felt his heart skip another beat at the sight of the other person.

He was sinfully handsome.

“I… I’m your new housemate, Oh Sehun.” The boy in front of him said shyly, “Please, take care of me.” He rummaged through his bag before handing Lu Han a small paper box, “H-Here’s a little something for you as a first meeting gift.”

Lu Han accepted it while blinking his eyes in surprise, because he definitely had not expected his new housemate to be like this. He had not expected the other to be so… So perfectly lovely.

“M-My name is Lu Han,” Was all he managed to say, earning another smile from the other.

-

Oh Sehun was a good housemate, a great housemate actually. He did not have any unconventional tendencies like making a mess out of everything or leaving any food scattered over the place. Oh Sehun was quite shy, spent most of his time in his own room working, but whenever he was in the living room or in the kitchen, he would always make sure to greet Lu Han. Oh Sehun was not one to smile a lot, Lu Han believed, because most of the time Sehun’s face was rid off any expression, but it never seemed hostile. It might actually just be that his blank face was like that.

Lu Han did not really have any interaction with his housemate, other than the necessary conversations, and they did have to get accustomed to living with someone else, but all was well. Oh Sehun was a housemate he did not mind having. Yet, it was really only after this one happening, that Lu Han really started to like this housemate of him, really started to find comfort in this person called Oh Sehun.

It had been a rainy day, a rough day where the ever-present smile on Lu Han’s face had been washed away. He had angrily taken off his drenched coat and kicked his shoes off, mumbling unhappily while walking to the bathroom. Being caught up with all sorts of negative emotions, he did not see Sehun standing there in the hallway, greeting him with a shy smile, resulting into him knocking Sehun down to the floor. It had caught Lu Han in surprise, because it had not been his intention to act so cold towards his housemate but so many things had gone wrong and he was just so tired of it all.

So all he did was mumble a soft I’m sorry before rushing to the bathroom, throwing off his clothes before stepping into the shower to wash away all the frustration. He stayed inside the bathroom for a whole half hour before finally stepping outside, the guilt continuously gnawing at his mind that he should not have treated his housemate so badly. It was not even his housemate’s fault, and whatever problems he was dealing with was never reason enough to act like that to Sehun, so he took a deep breath and decided to go apologize to Sehun.

However, Lu Han could not find him in his room, nor in the kitchen, and he was about to give up when he could not find Sehun in the living room either, when his eyes landed on something lying on the table. Curiosity took over him as he approached it, glancing at the familiar small yellow paper box with a post-it lying next on it. He took the little note, eyes blinking as he read it.

Chocolate makes everything better.

He took the little paper box and opened it, expecting another piece of chocolate like the one he got on their first meeting, when his eyes landed on the small message Sehun had written on it. It made him smile like a fool, made something inside of him burst and fill him rapidly, but he liked the feeling, really liked it actually.

Cheer up, Lu Han!

Really liked it.

-

The second time Lu Han found himself surprised by Sehun was when he on his way to a job interview, which he had prepared for extensively. He had put on his best looking neat clothes that he possessed, made sure he looked presentable and had everything he needed to know memorized. He could not help but feel anxious, because he had already went to several job interviews, but he never seemed to be good enough and the thought alone that he might not be able to get a job really hit home. He tried hard to calm himself down, telling himself that he should not worry too much about it and that he was simply going to do his best. Feeling the need of listening to some music to soothe his raging heart, he looked through his bag for his phone before his eyes landed on a small colorful box he did not remember putting in his bag.

An excited smile crept on his lips as he held onto it, the smooth surface of the box feeling horrifyingly calming while he eyed the small paper box with gentle eyes. He eagerly opened the box, finding the same kind of chocolate he had begun to fall in love with, a small message written on it.

Fighting, Lu Han!

Lu Han performed brilliantly well that day, and days later got the call that he was chosen for the job.

-

The first time they really got to talk to each other, was on a winter day when they were both at home. Lu Han had decided that they should spend some time together, so he had asked the other if he would like to eat together. Sehun had agreed on it shyly, following him to the kitchen. They ended up eating ramen because neither of them could really afford anything too fancy and it was Friday but Saturday was grocery day so they were in lack of anything healthy to eat.

“Thank you…” Lu Han began while glancing at Sehun, “For the chocolates.”

Sehun smiled shyly, eyes hidden behind his bangs while he looked at his food, “No problem.”

“You’re a nice guy,” Lu Han said gently, “Sehun-ah.”

Sehun blinked his wide eyes innocently at this, causing Lu Han to burst out into laughter. Sehun-ah sounded so good to his own ears, felt so good rolling off his tongue and Lu Han thought he could get used to a shy Sehun hiding his face behind his hands, making him feel this urge to continue to . He could get used to sharing this apartment that used to feel so horribly empty with a childish Sehun that decided to steal his ramen, he thought while he saw Sehun’s victorious smile when he ate up the remains of his ramen. He could get used to this feeling of being with this person that seemed to resemble happiness.

-

“Sehun-ah, wake up!” Lu Han yelled before jumping onto Sehun, whose face was hidden under the blanket.

“No,” Sehun whined, “two more minutes…”

“You’ve an exam today, Sehun-ah! Come on,” Lu Han said before pulling away the blanket away, all to Sehun’s dismay, “Wake. Up. Now!”

“I don’t want to, I’m tired,” Sehun said before burying his face in his pillow.

“Then you’ll fail your classes and then you won’t be able to get a job later and you’ll end up a beggar on the streets,” Lu Han said while trying to pull Sehun off the bed.

“I won’t fail my classes, I ace them,” Sehun said tiredly.

“Don’t you speak back to me, you little brat, and now wake up!” Lu Han yelled, knowing very well that sounded annoying.

Sehun sighed loudly as he sat up straight, droopy eyes glaring at him but with no such thing as real anger. Lu Han smiled victoriously at having been able to successfully wake the other up, before a mischievous grin appeared on Sehun’s lip, causing him to frown. However, he was left frozen because of shock when Sehun threw the blanket over him and hastily hurried to the bathroom.

“I win! The bathroom’s mine!” Sehun yelled like a happy child.

Lu Han moved the blanket off of him, the scent of Sehun reaching his nose and he smiled while thinking that he could get used to this. He could get used to waking up a childish Sehun that found joy in the little things. He could get used to that.

-

“It’s your birthday today?! Why didn’t you say so earlier?!” Lu Han spoke out as he looked at Sehun.

“It’s okay, it’s not really that special or anything. I mean, my eighteenth birthday already passed. The years after are just numbers that show me that I’m getting old.” Sehun said while wearing a small smile.

Lu Han frowned disapprovingly at this and pulled Sehun with him to the convenience store, buying a cake that was too cheap to ever taste good but it was always the thought that counted. He also made sure to buy some chocolate as a last minute birthday gift for Sehun because he could not get over it that he would not have anything to give to the birthday boy.

“How old are you now?” Lu Han asked while looking at him as they sat on the ground, the cake sitting on the table in front of them.

“Twenty,” Sehun answered.

“Well, birthday boy, you’ll have to deal with the fact that you only have one candle to blow,” Lu Han said with a grin as he lit up the single small candle on the cake, “Here you go. Make a wish and blow the candle.”

Sehun’s eyes glistered as he glanced at the cake, a bright smile Lu Han doubt he ever saw gracing his lips, “I…” He glanced at Sehun, warm happiness swimming in his eyes, “Thank you.”

And then he closed his eyes, smiled to himself before blowing out the candle. Sehun then opened his eyes again and looked at him so intensely that Lu Han felt as if he was going to melt any time soon. And the cake tasted too good that Lu Han knew Sehun had affected him from the inside out.

But he could get used to that too.

-

“Lu Han, can you cook something for me to eat?” Sehun asked with a childish pout.

Lu Han sighed at this, “When are you ever going to learn that you should call me hyung, you disrespectful brat. Go make your own food.”

He did say that but it was quite funny because Lu Han actually quite liked how Sehun would speak out his name. He liked it quite a lot. And he liked how Sehun would always stubbornly call him Lu Han, never even bothering to call him hyung. However, he did not want to acknowledge that.

“Please,” Sehun pleaded, “I’m hungry.”

“You’re an adult now, so you should learn to make your own food,” Lu Han merely said.

“But your cooking tastes better,” Sehun said with a cheeky smile.

It was unfair just how Sehun could make him do anything the other wanted. It was simply unfair how Sehun had this scary power over him, making him agree on anything the other said. It was so unfair, yet, when he sat down on the other side and watched Sehun eagerly eating up his food, he could not help but think that he could get used to this kind of unfairness. No, Lu Han thought when Sehun looked up to meet his eyes, happiness dancing in those beautiful orbs. No, it was quite fair, actually. In fact, for the first time in his life, Lu Han felt like the world was really, really fair to him.

-

Lu Han woke up to sunbeams filling his room and birds singing on his birthday. It made him feel happy for no good reason, other than that it was his birthday today and it had started off brilliantly well. Lu Han woke up finding a by now terribly familiar paper box, the bubbling excitement filling him rapidly as he reached out to hold onto it. Lu Han woke up that morning with one of the biggest smile ever when he opened the little box and found Sehun had written something on it.

Happy birthday, Lu Han!

Lu Han was not used to this kind of happiness, was not used to this kind of childish happiness that made him want to squeal because it was too good to be truth. But he could get used to it, he thought as he looked at the small piece of chocolate lovingly. He could get used to it.

Lu Han was welcomed by the smell of burnt breakfast when he stepped into the kitchen, by the sight of black pancakes and cooking utensils that would take ages to clean, by the sound of a distressed Sehun screaming as he almost caused a fire. Luhan was welcomed by the view of his housemate trying his best to make his birthday a special day, by the fact that Sehun had woken up so early just to make him happy, and by a shining smile that only Sehun could put off flawlessly.

“Happy birthday, Lu Han!” Sehun said happily, and Lu Han was so close to laughing out because Sehun looked like a little kid with pancake mix covering his face.

“You’re a disaster in the kitchen,” Lu Han simply said.

Sehun smiled cheekily, “Handsome boys don’t belong in the kitchen.”

He could get used to an adorably cocky Sehun. He could get used to the smell of burnt food and the sight of a disaster kitchen. He could get used to Sehun in his life, and he was certain he would never get used to it enough that he would want it to be gone.

-

“I’m bored,” Sehun whined, “I want to do something.”

“Then go do something with your friends,” Lu Han answered without looking up, his gaze glued to the television.

“Lu Han, let’s do something! Together!” Sehun continued to try.

Lu Han sighed before tearing his gaze from the television to look at Sehun, “And what do you have in mind?”

Sehun’s eyes shone at this, “Let’s dance!”

“Dance?” Lu Han frowned at this, “You do realize that this apartment isn’t big enough to dance, right? And the old lady below us is going to haunt you with her walking stick if you dare to disturb her in her sleep.”  

Of course, everything Lu Han said was futile, because one moment he was sitting on the couch, and the other moment he was pulled up by Sehun. One moment the room was filled with the sound of soccer playing, and the other moment it was the sweet melody of a song they both liked a lot. One moment it was nothing, and the other moment it was carefree happiness that only the two of them understood.

One moment it was the two of them jumping on the couch and acting like little children, and the next moment it was the two of them leaning against each other tiredly, enjoying the way their bodies breathed in and out in synchrony.

It was only when it felt as if time stood still, that you realized you found happiness. It was only when it felt like eternity, that you knew you found the epitome of beauty in the other. It was only when it felt as if nothing could beat this moment, nothing could even try to compare itself to this blissful moment, that you knew that this was all you ever wanted.

And Lu Han realized that this was the moment in his life he would never ever forget in his life, because one moment his head was resting on Sehun’s lap and they were looking into each other’s eyes, and the other moment Sehun moved his head down. One moment he was mesmerized by the fact that he saw a reflection of himself in Sehun’s gentle eyes, and the other moment his eyes had fluttered closed while he savored the feeling of Sehun’s lips against him.

He knew for sure on that moment, that this was all he would ever need.

-

This housemate of him that treated him to Tirol chocolate and made him feel a kind of happiness he never thought even existed, this childish brat of a best friend that would not even call him hyung, this young man that resembled a kind of innocence that Lu Han would never get tired of, had turned from a complete stranger into a person so deeply integrated into his life that he could not even begin to imagine anymore how his life was before Sehun had come into his life.

Sehun was the one who had asked him to watch a movie together. Sehun was the one who had smiled shyly while asking if he could hold Lu Han’s hand. Sehun was the one who had given the sound of rushing water and the scent of sand a whole new meaning. Sehun was the one who gave him yet another Tirol chocolate before shielding his face in embarrassment while Lu Han opened the little box to see what Sehun had written. Sehun was the one who was shy and brave at the same time.

And Lu Han was the one who had said ‘yes’ to watch a movie together. And Lu Han was the one who had smiled sincerely when Sehun asked if he could hold his hand. And Lu Han was the one whose meaning of rushing water and the scent of sand had complicated for the better. And Lu Han was the one who accepted the Tirol chocolate with an increased heart rate that might have come close to a heart attack while he saw how Sehun hid his face.

It was Lu Han who searched through his pocket to find a Tirol chocolate of his own, putting it into Sehun’s hand, but it was Sehun who opened the box with wide eyes before he pressed his lips eagerly against Lu Han’s.

I like you, Lu Han.

I like you, Sehun-ah.


Can someone kill me, because what did I just wrote?!
This was their story that had been haunting me while I was writing Comme des enfants...
And, well, doesn't it make Comme des enfants even sadder? :'<