Myungsoo's Entry

At what point should a secret be told? Something so precious that was entrusted to you and only you with the potential to destroy  a lifelong friendship if you ever told. But if you know you have to say something because you could be saving a life. At what point does the secret become too big to handle and how can you tell before it's too late? Well, I obviously missed the signs for the point of no return.

I think the first time I noticed his strange behavior, I cant remember well but I remember the first time he asked me to keep his secrets.

~*~

It was after our last stage and we were all high from the successful promotions. Times like this are my most favorite times with my band so I want to always preserve this feeling on film. CLICK. Woohyun hyung and Sungjongie taking selcas and uploading them on their SNS' thanking Inspirites. CLICK. Hoya looking through all the bags and stuff in the room. He is probably looking for this headphones that are currently around my neck. hehe. CLICK. Sunggyu hyung, our eternal leader bent over the desk looking at schedules probably trying to figure out how to add more hours to the day for extra practice.CLICK. The child Sungyeol dodging the coordis who are trying to fix his hair. CLICK.Dongwoo hyung sitting on the floor frowning? at his phone. 

Why would Hyung be frowning?

"Hey hyung. What are you looking at?"

Dongwoo scrambles to turn of the screen of the phone, "Nothing much. Um nothing I can't handle, don't worry about it." He smiles just a bit to brightly for it to be believable.

"Hyung you know you can talk to me right? I know I'm younger but I still am a good listener." 

"I said nothing is wrong. I am feeling just a bit tired. I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom real quick." He ruffled my hair as he left but I could have swore he looked like he was going to cry. 

After he left Sungyeol stopped in front of me.

"Hey Yeollie, you notice anything weird about Dongwoo hyung?"

"He's always weird. What do you mean?"

"No I mean different, more secretive jumpy I don't know more irritable?"

"Hmm I don't know but I mean he is allowed to not me hyper and happy all the time. Maybe you're paying to much attention to it."

"Yea  I know that but ... "

"But?"

"Nothing. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm making this bigger than it is."

I noticed he left his phone on the floor where he sat. As I got up to follow him to give it back my curiosity grew. What in the phone could possibly make Dongwoo sad? I unconsciously swiped the phone open and on the top screen was text messages from an unknown number. '

from unknown:i know you missed me.

from unknown:i can't wait to show you all the things i can do to you now that i'm back.

from unknown: you know they will never believe you even if you could tell them.

from unknown: you'll forever ruin Infinite if you don't do what i want

from unknown: what would the others think? would your precious leader look at you the same way ever again.

from unknown: DON'T ignore me again or else

from unknown: Where are you? you know what i will do to him if i -

Dongwoo snatched his phone out of my hands. I had already seen enough though.

"Hyung what is all this? Who is that? What are you doing for them? Are they hurting you? What's going on?"

"First off why would you look through my phone? Didn't I tell you I could handle this. I'm not a child that I should report every little move to someone. I'm fine. EVERYTHING is fine. Don't you dare say a word to anybody about this. Especially Sunggyu Hyung. He has enough to deal with. If you really want to know then I'll tell you tonight when we get back to the dorm but I'd really like it if you forgot you ever saw this. Please."

"Hyung...", I don't even know what to say. I want to know what's going on but Hyung says he's fine.

"Please Myungsoo, Promise me this will stay between the two of us. Promise?" He stuck out his pinky for me to link with.

"Fine hyung but you will tell me what's going on right? And you will tell me if you need help?"

"Right I promise" 

~*~

You know he never did tell me what was going on, and i just assumed that he was dealing with it. But since he didn't keep his promise I guess i don't have to keep my end and that's why i agreed to write in this journal. I should have paid more attention, tried harder. I really should have tried talking to Sunggyu hyung when i had the chance. Even if it cost me my friendship and brotherhood with hyung. I would rather have Dongwoo hyung hate me than then have him in he hospital like this.

Will Dongwoo Hyung be reading this? Can I pass a message on to him? Can you tell him I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise and ... that's it. I want to tell him the rest in person.

(a/n) im super sorry i havent updated this in almost a year. at first life got in the way then i kinda forgot about it.... i am really sorry to all those who subbed to this.... i cant promise u fast updates but i will make an effort to update it faster than a year.