As my eyes adjusted from the sudden brightness,  Kris stiffened beside me and he gently took my hands away from his face. He stood straight, his already tall stance seemed gotten taller and narrowed his eyes towards Luhan.

Luhan was glaring, his fists clenched at his side. We stood there in silence, the two exchanging death glares. “What are you doing here?” Kris asked, but I heard the faint growl from his voice. Luhan looked at me, and then swung his gaze back to Kris.

“I used to live here. What are you doing here?” I could feel the tension between the two and I know for sure that one wrong word from any of them would result into a fight. I grabbed Kris’ shirt by the waist and willed him to look at me. “Pick me up tomorrow morning?”

I asked smiling; trying to pretend that there is no tension, that everything is normal. I was pleading with my eyes to Kris, telling him to behave because Luhan is obviously trying to pick a fight with him. Kris s an arm to my waist, pulling me close to his side. Where the sudden skinship came from, I don't know. But I do know that my gentle approach is quite working.

I wrapped my arms around him and felt his lips on my hair and he whispered that he will pick me up the next day. “Please just go and don’t bother with him.” I whispered and gave him a squeeze.  He sighed and kissed the top of my head and let me go.

I could feel Luhan staring at me, but I did not look at him. Kris was about to round his car to the driver’s side when Luhan demanded. “What the hell is going on here? What’s with that hug and that kiss? Cea care to enlighten me?” I opened my mouth but Kris beat me before I can voice anything.

“What’s wrong with sending my girl home, hug and then kiss her goodbye?” There was a hint of challenge injected to Kris’ tone, as if he was trying to purposely pick a fight with Luhan. “Kris…” Cea warned. She knows that Luhan, when presented with a challenge never backs down and he would try his best to win it.

“Cea I’m waiting for your answer.” Luhan said rather loudly as if he hadn't heard Kris talk. The temper I was trying to control started to rise. “I do not owe you any explanation. Just go your merry way to whatever business you have here. Leave me alone.” Cea injected as much acid she can to her voice.

Who does Luhan think he is? He doesn’t have any right to get mad, and if he is jealous, he should have just kept it to himself because he doesn’t have the right to be.

“Not my business? You remember that you were once my girlfriend?”

“Once is the operative word, Luhan.”

“I can’t believe this!” Luhan threw folded his hands at the back of his head, laughing without humor. “You guys met like once, and now you two are dating?” Luhan narrowed his eyes to Cea and Kris, his mind working. The look in his eyes suggested that he was trying to figure things out which made me anxious.

He can’t really catch up that fast, can he?

“I’m not going to stop chasing Cea, just so you know.” Luhan declared. Kris’ expression darkened and he looked at me, a look telling me that he was right about Luhan and that we are on the right track.

Luhan really won’t stop just because I have gotten myself a boyfriend.

“Are you serious? Sarah is your girlfriend and you are telling me that you are planning to continue chasing mine? What the hell are you even doing with Sarah?” Kris seethe, taking a step forward to Luhan. Cea quickly reached and grabbed his arm, trying to stop him from going further.

The arrogance in Luhan’s face disappeared for a moment as he heard the question. It was gone as fast as it came. There is something going on with Luhan… “Cea, just say you love and that you are willing to try again with me, I will leave Sarah.”

My eyes widened in shock, not believing my ears. How can Luhan be so callous and selfish? Distracted, my grip on Kris’ arm loosened and the next thing I knew, he was two strides away from where Luhan is standing.

“Kris no!” Cea called, but luckily, Yixing was there to stop Kris while he pushed Luhan back, out of Kris’grip.

“I will do everything to let Sarah know how much of a bastard you are. After that, I will make sure that you won’t be anywhere near Cea and Sarah. I swear I am going to hurt you if you don’t stop with this selfish action of yours.” Kris took a step back from Yixing and glared at Luhan. He turned around and headed back to me and I could see the anger and hurt in his eyes.

My god…the love of your life being treated like trash behind her back…

I’m sorry.

I mouthed at him. He shook his head and gave Cea a quick kiss on the forehead, got in and gunned his car out of the complex. Cea glared at Luhan. “I will never, ever go back with you. I will never become a reason for someone else’s pain because of a certain selfish person. Stay away from me Luhan. Nothing. Nothing you do will make me change my mind about things between us. You just ruined what remains of our relationship. You are making me sick.”

Cea gave Luhan one last glare and stomped her way to her house, leaving Yixing deal with him.

--

Yixing watched Cea disappear inside the building and looked at Luhan. “You are ruining everything you know that? When and how did you become so selfish, Luhan?” Yixing asked quietly to the person who was once his best friend.

Ever since Luhan’s family moved out the apartment complex after his dad’s construction business picked up and grew into something big, Yixing and Cea’s relationship with Luhan became strained and as time passed, dissolved into nothing.

It was sad thinking that the once inseparable group of friends are becoming strangers, worst enemies. “Luhan just stop pushing Cea, alright? It’s done, and she has no plans on getting back with you. Don’t you get it? If she feels something for you, she would have come back to you already. But that is not going to happen anymore, alright?”

Luhan smirked Yixing. “Well, at least, even though I looked and act like a douche, I do whatever I can to get the girl that I want, unlike this person I know.” Luhan taunted Yixing, annoyed on the fact that his former best friend is telling him what to do when he won’t do anything.

Yixing, always gentle and calm can’t help but feel mad on Luhan’s tirade. “You think I’m stupid as you, Luhan?” he asked in almost a whisper, not wanting anyone but the two of them hear what he wants to say. “I’ve watched you and Cea and saw everything that has happened between the two of you. Call me a coward, but I’m not stupid enough to risk my friendship with my best friend like what you did. Her friendship means more than anything to me, probably because I know that anything more than that could ruin us.”

“So that’s the reason you got yourself a girlfriend, using the poor girl to forget? Tell me, is that easy? Here I am, far away from her but I can’t help myself chasing her; I know how you must feel. You are staying beside her Yixing, how the hell do you control your feelings for her?”

“No Luhan. I’m not using anyone for anything. Unlike you, Cea and I are living our lives and moving on, welcoming new people into our life while maintaining what we have between us. You should try that; for sure Cea will stop despising you and your guts.” Yixing walked away, not waiting for Luhan to say anything.

This is such a mess. He was forced to face the truth, his feelings which he is trying his hardest to bury deep inside.

--

Yixing found Cea sitting on her bed, staring into space. He leaned on her bedroom’s doorway, just looking at her. No, it is not worth risking anything.  Yixing thought to himself. He’s at ease on the friendship they have and it will be always that way.

“You okay?” Cea heard Yixing asked and looked at him. She shook her head but did not say anything. He moved and sat on the edge of her bed, sitting in silence for a while. “Will Luhan ever stop?” Cea asked, looking at him. “What happened to us?” she adds, sadness showing in her eyes.

“We were good friends; the three of us. Did we really ruin that by being romantically involved?” she whispered as she picked on the loose thread of her blanket. Yixing thought for a while, thinking back. Was that it that ruined their friendship with Luhan?

He climbed on her bed and sat closer to her, gathering Cea in his arms. She rubbed a hand on her arm, his chin resting on top of her head. Cea closed her eyes and savored the contact, needing comfort. Luhan, Yixing and she were good friends. It’s just sad that things ended badly, and that Luhan changed so much.

“I don’t know…” Yixing answered, truly not knowing what happened. “Maybe your romantic relationship added to the reasons, but it is not completely about that. Perhaps, Luhan just changed so much; he became really different from the one that we know, and I think, it’s part to blame. You could have remained civil even after the break-up, you know? Friends, maybe not, but civil, yes.”

Carefully she phrased her question inside her head and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself and her fast beating heart. She prays that Yixing wouldn’t feel her heart banging in her chest. “What if it happened between the two of us? What if, it’s you and not Luhan? Will we become like that as you have said, civil? Not friends…but civil with each other?”

Yixing’s hand on Cea’s arm freezed. Why is she asking that question? Does she feel something more for him? Is that it?

A flame of hope burned from the deep end of his heart, and Yixing allowed himself to picture a relationship with Cea. It was beautiful, but he won’t let it head that way. Their friendship would not survive if things ended badly.

So even if it hurts him and through the lump that formed in his throat, he answered her.

“Yes Cea. We will be civil, but not friends.”

Cea took that as the final answer to all her questions. Yixing will never return her feelings; she’s just a friend and he wouldn’t let anything ruin their friendship. She wanted to call Yixing’s answer bull. Cea thinks that people can be friends after break up like those celebrities and other famous people.

That’s what they keep on saying. So it should be true in a way, right?

But no matter how hard she tries to make a reason out of it, it’s not going to work. Because Yixing does not feel anything about her more than friendship so there’s nothing to risk. She squeezed Yixing to her and inhaled his familiar scent; a mix of cologne and his natural scent. She used to love that simple thing, but the moment she lets go, she should stop doing so.

She has to move on.

She let go and forced a smile as she faced Yixing. “Maybe you’re right…we could be at least civil with each other but he keeps on acting like a douche. He’s driving me mad.” Yixing looked at her solemnly, feeling that something has changed with her, what, he doesn’t know but he hoped it wouldn’t affect anything between them.

“You okay?” Yixing asked, worry laced into his voice. Cea just shook her head and waved at Yixing as he stood and headed for her door. With one last glance, he went out of the room and carefully closed the door.

Cea cried silently until there’s nothing to cry anymore.

Goodbye Yixing, goodbye to unrealized dreams and wishes…