1...

A friend, that’s who I’ve always been to him, a person that sticked to him always, like a sister. And yes, that’s what he called me… His sister. When you have feelings for someone and they keep calling you a sibling, it begins to leave a scar that can hardly heal.

We were 15 when we met. We were taking classes together, and what he didn’t know is that I had a massive crush on him. We began as class partners, but the more time we spent together, the closer we became. After a year or so, we practically knew every single detail that there was to know from each other. He knew exactly when I was feeling, sad, angry, happy, and jealous. But there was one feeling he was completely clueless about, yes, the love I felt for him.

I did absolutely nothing to confess my feelings for him. That’s my problem, when it comes to certain things I’m a complete closed book. I thought I would endanger my friendship with him. I was afraid he would reject me. I always thought that the guy should be the one to take the first step. I have always been naïve, oblivious when it comes to love.

After so long I’ve managed to keep undercover my feelings from him, and we’ve managed to stay together like a brother and a sister. But little did I expect that after we’ve turned 20 this would all change, for me.

“Daehyun Oppa! Where are we going?” –I said as I sat in the passenger’s seat where Daehyun forced me to sit.

“It’s a surprise dongsaeng… Don’t try to spoil it!” –He said as he smirked. He knew I hated surprises. Unfortunately I was going to hate this one even more…

“Alright! We’re here!”

We stopped to what it seemed to be a small karaoke place. I’ve never been here, and I was kind of excited. Mistakenly I was thinking this was a date.

We stepped out of the car and approached the small building. I thought we were alone, until...

“There’s someone I want you to meet tonight.” –Daehyun turned to me with a serious expression on his face.

“Meet? Who?”

Daehyun scratched the back of his neck; I immediately knew he was nervous.

“You’ll see… Please be nice to her dongsaeng.”

Her? I felt my heart ache when he said that, but I tried to shake it off and pretend I was fine about it.

I smile and punch his arm playfully.

“Oppa is in love! Why wouldn’t I be nice to her?”

“I don’t know _____. I’m just nervous; I have a good feeling about her. We’re just friends now, but I really want to go out with her.”

Ouch! Why did I have to ? He really is in love…

****

“Daehyun!” –A very pretty girl approached him.

“Ji-Eun!” –Daehyun said with a wide smile.

I wish he would smile like that to me. The sad thing is that he does, but I’m just a sister to his eyes.

“Ji-Eun this is ______. She’s my dongsaeng. ______ this is Ji-Eun we met at a restaurant while…”

And so he started to tell me what it was to him a funny anecdote of how they met. She smiled, and laughed as I just nodded pretending I got the “jokes”.

They look so good together. Her smile is perfect, her hair, her clothes, body… Everything a girl wants to have and guys want in a girl. No wonder he likes her so much!

Just realizing all this, knowing it’s true it hurts. To think that she’s achieved in a couple of weeks all I’ve been working during 5 years, it’s frustrating.

****

One week has passed by and Daehyun has begged me to be friends with Ji-Eun. Why can’t I say no…

But… I say yes, just like every time he asks me for anything. I always have this impulse and desire to please him. Perhaps I’ve been thinking that by doing this he would like me as more than just a friend, sister. So I agreed.

“______!”

“Ji-Eun!” –I try to smile as much as I can.

“I’m so glad we finally get to spend time together just us girls!”

“Me too…” –I’m such a liar.

“So…”

And so we spent the whole afternoon together. She told me about herself, and she kept asking me about the things that Daehyun likes. She asked me if we could meet again. I was about to say I was going to be busy, but I saw her honest face and I couldn’t dare say no… Again.

****

Daehyun seems to be satisfied with how I’m treating his crush. And so today I’m stuck once again with her. He’s really happy whenever he sees her, and when he sees his dongsaeng with her, he’s even more.

“Listen _____.” –Ji-Eun said looking nervous.

“Neh?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I really like Daehyun.” –I already feel my heart chattering more. –“And I was wondering if you could help me get him a gift or something to show to him how I feel.”

I am speechless, broken hearted. It was already bad enough that Daehyun liked her, now she feels the same way?

“______, I’m asking you because you’re his closest friend, and you know the things he likes. Maybe you can help me.”

Without even thinking I spoke:

“He likes poetry.”

Why did I say that!

Oh yeah! All I kept thinking was that she makes Daehyun happy, and if he’s happy then I am too. Seriously? I sometimes think I’m just tricking myself to make everything seem alright, when it’s not.

“Poetry… What about a letter!”

“A letter?” –I asked.

“Yes a letter, you can help me write a poem. I’m no good with poetry, you can help me!”

“Sure…” –I said.

And so we… I, began to write the letter. And so every once in a while I wrote more letters for her to give to Daehyun. The worst part? Every time he would get the letter he would come to me smiling and read it to me.

****

“Ji-Eun  keeps surprising me more and more! She loves the same video games I do, she loves the same music I do, and now she writes beautiful poetry!” –He said as he held the letter he got close to his heart.

Yes Daehyun… She loves the same video games I told her you loved. She loves the same music I told her you loved… And yes she “writes” the beautiful poetry I wrote for you. So far everything he loves about her are the things I have been telling her about him. If you only knew I had to endure all this just to see you smile dear…

“______, I’m going to ask Ji-Eun to be my girlfriend.”

It honestly didn’t take me by surprise; it was just a matter of time. And yet I don’t have the courage to stop all this. I guess I’ll stay as the sister he loves rather than the person he wishes to spend a lifetime with.

****

What has happened up to know I really don’t want to recall. They’ve been together for 5 months, and they seem to get closer and closer to each other. As always I’ve been the whole way. Daehyun’s dongsaeng…

I already saw this coming…

Daehyun’s closest friends and I were together. I could already sense he was up to something.

He stood from the sofa as he took a deep breath. I was expecting with fear that anything would happen tonight.

As he confessed his feelings entirely to her… Those words came out from his mouth, like knifes stabbing my heart.

“Ji-Eun… Will you marry me?”