You laugh as you stretch out across your best friend's bed after a long day of pointless window shopping. You grab her laptop whilst she puts on her silly pop music from some other country. She snatches the laptop off of you as she sits beside you. You look at her mac wallpaper, smirk, and comment, "who is that?!"

"That is GD. His stage name is G-Dragon, it's not his real name though and he is the leader of BIGBANG." She points at a poser of a group of Asian boys. You aren't really interested, but don't want to hurt her feelings. You can't understand how she likes those Asian guys. "I'll show you some of their stuff, you might like it." She pulls up YouTube on her laptop. I highly doubt it, you think to yourself. However, to your surprise, you become hooked. Looking closely at the dancers, you become fancinated; as you are a dancer yourself. This is the start of when your life completely turns around... 

You think back to when you smirked at that photo of Kwon Jiyong and scowl at yourself. You spend hours in your bedroom finding websites that will show the Korean dramas and films with English subtitles. A thought strikes you. Why don't I start learning Korean? I've got nothing better to do. So that, you do exactly. You go onto Google and type in 'Korean Language'. You click the first search result and read through. It's too complicated for you to understand, all the technical terms. You type in 'Korean alphabet' instead. It gives you many search results, including images. You click on one the images and it brings up a table of letters. You get this up on your phone and lay in bed memorising the letters and symbols. You feel very happy with yourself as you are slowly beginning to get the hang on it and are learning. You're remembering it! You smile to yourself as you go over the table in your head again...

*

A few months on, it's about 2pm and you're on your way to London for a day out with your friend Meg. The weather is freezing, it is December afterall, but that's not going to get you down, you're too excited. Maybe I'll meet someone when I'm up London! You ponder on this thought for a while, dreaming up some wild, unrealistic, romantic scenarios. Don't be ridiculous, not on my luck I won't, doubt running through your head. You laugh it off. After some time, you arrive at London Charing Cross. The first thing you notice are the amount of people from different countries! Wow, there's beautiful Asian men everywhere I look! I'm in heaven! Your heart starts racing all of a sudden. Without thinking, you begin to straighten your jacket and jeans, smoothing your mane that is supposed to be your hair and pinch your cheeks. "What's up with you? You've gone all red." Meg has noticed that you're pretty-ing yourself up. She giggles.

You move closer to her and whisper, "Look how many beautiful men there are up here!" She giggles again. She knows exactly what you're talking about. She points at one guy, so you grab her arm to lower it before he sees her pointing. "Shhh! Meg! Don't!" You can feel your face heating up and he hasn't even noticed either of you. "Come on, let's go." You wonder around the blustery streets, window shopping, laughing and after hours of being on your feet, you end up in a strange place that you're both unsure of. How you got here you don't know, but you're having a good time. You walk down street after street in the early evening, linked to Meg's arm. You both stop outside an Italian restaurant. You look inside in awe at the couples sitting at the tables. 

"When I eventually get a date, this is where I want to go." Meg's eyes goo at the sight of the romance in the restaurant. You roll your eyes and drag her away. 

"Let's go Hyde Park!" It's somewhere you know she wants to visit as there is some sort of festive fair there near to Christmas. You both wander the streets until you find the nearest tube station. It's packed and there are many, many people trying to get home and both you and Meg are being pushed and pulled in all sorts of directions. You can't get a moment to sit down as there are people always moving, and you are bundled onto the tube. After a few stops, many people have gotten off the tube and you have space. You notice a young Asian man sitting down near to where you are standing. He is looking at you. Your face begins to heat and you look away, blushing. You notice Meg looking at you and she giggles. You giggle back at her, and look away from her, back at the Asian man. He is no longer looking at you, so you stand there admiring him. He is dressed in a red checkered shirt covered with a black jacket, brown jeans and nice sand coloured shoes. His hair is jet black and looks soft. You want to touch it so bad! You are staring intently at him, and it's almost as if he can hear your thoughts, because he looks up at you. His eyes are smiling! They're so gorgeous. You think to yourself. Wait, he's looking! Oh! Look away, look away! You look back at Meg. She's noticed you looking at him and is laughing silently. You want to talk to him so bad. But what do you say? You spend the next 10 minutes, contemplating whether to talk to him or not. Before you can, Meg nudges you and informs you that you're at the station you have to get off. So you get off. And regret floods into you at every point it can, as the tube pulls away. 

"He was staring at you the entire journey. He couldn't take his eyes off you!" Meg is bouncing around you, almost too happy to be bearable. Whilst she is torturing you with this information that is making you grin with coyness, that regret is overwhelming and seeps back into your system. Your face drops. You suddenly feel incredibly miserable. I should have said something to him! You keep telling yourself, and Meg. You both talk about him all the way to Hyde Park, and on the way round, and on the tube back. You both also come up with wild scenarios, all of which are including the beautiful tube man, on the train home. He is on your mind, and has been since that tube parted. As you arrive home, it's pitch black in the house, everyone else is asleep. You throw everything on the floor of your bedroom, not giving a care for any of it, take off all your clothes, and in your misery state, you crawl into bed and cry yourself to sleep.

*

You're in your room on the computer, as always. After page after page of just nonsense searching, you find an article on a kpop website about another Korean programme that you want to watch, but you cannot find any sites that show it. You read about it and find out about a group called VIXX. You go onto YouTube and type them in. It doesn't take you long before you begin to really like them. You notice something about the leader, Cha Hakyeon, that strikes you. You don't know what it is, but it's something. You read scenarios online about Hakyeon, more famously known as 'N', which makes you feel attached to him. Even though he lives on the other side of the world. Even though he's a famous Idol. Even though he has no idea that you exist. You still feel attached to him. This is not helped by the fact he has appeared in your dreams recently. The more and more he is in these dreams, the more and more real they begin to feel. You can't take much more. You need to get out there, to meet him if you can. As silly as it sounds, no matter how much you doubt yourself that you'll see him, you feel the need to try. Your 20th birthday is in a months' time, you're going to take a trip out there. You're going to Seoul. You're going to find Cha Hakyeon.

*

It's a beautiful day, and you are gathering the last of your things. After months of intensely learning Korean, you are almost ready to go. As you arrive at the airport, you seem to have left your courage behind. You begin to shake and worries fill your head of the many things than can go wrong. You're all on your own from here, and you haven't got a clue how to do any of this. After a while of wondering around the airport like a zombie, you're finally boarding the plane. Everyone seems so intimidating! Regret is flooding into you, and you begin to wish you were back at home with your Mum. Something, what it is, you haven't a clue, but something snaps you right out of it. Get a grip girl! You're halfway there to the one place in the world you have been most desperate to visit, there's nothing to regret. You've always wanted this, and now, it's happening. This seems to boost your confidence and your mood brightens automatically. You become that excited young girl you were just the night before. You look out of the window in awe at the landscapes as the plane flies through the sky. The hostess comes over. She smiles, and asks if there is anything you would like. You politely ask for a juice, and she arrives back shortly with your juice. As you sip it, you think of the many things you want to do when you arrive, and of the many places you want to see. You can't think through your excitement, so you just sit back, smile to yourself and think of Hakyeon as you enjoy the flight to Seoul.

*