I could not be patient with myself even if I tried. I had missed the opportunity to meet with that blonde wonder for two nights in a row, and not thanks to anyone but myself. I owed it to the both of us to take a hike that night. For two days, I had wondered what would have come of me if I had taken the opportunity to do something other than mumble and smile like an idiot in front of him. What if I had actually talked to him, lead him, instead of leaving that all to him? A piece of me told me that it was better this way, but I wanted to believe that I had missed something.

            I left the cabin and sat at the picnic table. It surprised me that Tosunnie hadn’t followed suit, but it was calming to know that I hadn’t had to watch over him. After not thirty seconds of contemplating what I should do about the god forsaken feeling in the pit of my stomach, I stood up straight, cleared my throat and listened closely as the leaves and twigs crumbled and cracked beneath my feet.

            What if he was mad at me, if he could have gotten mad? Not once had I ever seen that glimmered smile leave his face; of course, I hadn’t said much to him to anger or disappoint him at all. I hadn’t said much of anything, come to think of it.I was far sure that he’d understand when I’d explained where I had been. God, I was thinking of him as my mother, but I would have been furious with myself if I had disappointed him even slightly.

            Halfway to the creek, I paused in my tracks. Hearing a rustle in the leaves, I was somewhat frightened. I hadn’t known anyone to go there except Ren and myself. Of course, the creek was no imaginary place and Ren and I were not imaginary beings, so of course the others must have known about it. Once I had settled my head against the realization that it was not only my happy place, I moved forward once again. I set my foot in the sand, not so surprised at what I had found.

            The silhouette of Minhyun in my usual spot on the log at the bank of the water caught my eye. He sat still, only staring at the cold stone wall across the water. I moved to his side, and his eyes were emotionless. His face wasn’t sunken, but I could tell that his thoughts were. He definitely was not the calm and collected boy I had known the week previous. My choice was to stand next to him, studying for a moment before crossing the stones. I would have asked what was the matter, and perhaps I would sometime afterward, but then, I wanted nothing more than to see Ren once more.

            I stepped into the shadow of the tree where we would meet, and just as I had, he approached me from the other side, scaring me senseless for a moment. I was sure my eyes were wide and doe-d, because the next thing I heard was an apology. At the sound of his voice, I was instantly calmed and reminded that he was there.

            “I missed you, JR. I guess I should set a date every time, shouldn’t I?” he grinned. His pristinely white teeth glistened in what little light there was, and I was taken in by him once more.
            “I guess so.” I said, enthralled by his beauty, charm and effortless elegance once more. I reminded myself of what had to be done, and opened my mouth to speak. I almost wished that something would have happened to have cut me off, but nothing did. “I haven’t spoken much, and I'm sorry."

            "Don’t be sorry.” he smiled a convincing smile. He rested a hand on my forearm and I was calmed yet again.  “I’ve told you that I like it when you listen to what I have to say. But please, talk.”
            I took his orders like a puppy might. “I’m JR, I have a brother, a dog, and my family has been coming here for as long as I can remember.” I blurted. I could not believe I trusted myself to say something as meaningful as his explanation of the lotus flower, but I just simply lost control of my words. “I like to write, I sometimes take the soju from my Dad’s liquor cabinet and cats make me sneeze. I’ve always loved watching gory horror movies, even though they totally gross me out, my dentist tells me I need to floss but I really can’t be bothered, and I can’t be too sure, but I think I like you more than either of us have let on.”

            I could not believe, with any piece of mind or sense, that I had said what I said. It was like Ren to have smiled, as he had, and I took that as a cue to smile back at him.

            “Well JR with a brother, dog, love for writing and rice wine, dislike for cats, love for horror movies and no motivation to floss,” he said all in a single breath. “I’m glad you’ve finally admitted all of the most important things. I’ll remember them.” His grip on my arm was slightly less weak now, and I could feel my veins pulsing against his skin.

            I left speaking to my unconscious mind and stared him in the eye. Something about my breath was fluttery now, like a butterfly stuck in my throat, and I didn’t know why until my eyes fell shut and I felt the flesh of my lips against the flesh of his. I could not believe with any ounce of my being that what was happening was actually happening, but it must have been. It felt like a year before I had even thought of moving away from him. His arms creeped up my own as he stepped inches closer. Mine hung at my sides. He parted his lips, and there I was again, following his lead. In an attempt to show him that he wasn’t the only one that could move, I brought both of my hands to the nape of his neck and left them there, only the tips of my fingers touching one another. I wasn’t certain when either of us had pulled away, but I’d known it happened when I heard him speak again.

            “I’m not sure I’ve spoken my mind either.” he mentioned, and I hadn’t let him. I brought a finger to his lips and held it there as more rain began to trickle down in only small droplets
            “I think I understand.”

            I pressed my lips to his again, and he pulled me into an embrace not unlike the first I’d found myself in. He could feel my heartbeat through my chest, I was certain of it. I didn’t focus on feeling his; I was far too mesmerized by the feeling of being so close to him to worry about something as trivial as a heartbeat. I wasn’t sure I had one too much longer after that, as I was completely swept, if not off my feet then out of my mind, by the idea of someone as weird and as different as me being as held as close as I was to someone with a mind and imagination brewed by only some otherworldly chemist and a face carved by angels.