You sighed and closed the browser out. You didn’t even know why you still checked your Me2Day anymore. You wondered why you hadn’t deleted it yet.

Ever since the news of your relationship with Leeteuk had reached the public, you received more hate messages than you could handle. Sure, there was the occasional supportive fan who just wanted Leeteuk to be happy, but those were few and far in between. For each positive message you got, there were at least a hundred negative ones.

Most of the messages were petty fangirls complaining about oppa dating someone as young as you. You were only eighteen, and Leeteuk was twenty-seven so you’d received countless messages about how inappropriate your relationship was. But you had been dating Leeteuk long before the news went public and had known him for even longer.

Dating an idol had been hard, but you loved Leeteuk so you didn’t care. Sure, he was always busy, and it didn’t help that you were from a town so far away. But you could manage that, and you had been excited to move to Seoul to start college because it had meant that you’d be closer to him.

Unfortunately, before you could enjoy the proximity, someone leaked the news of your relationship. At first, his company had tried to dismiss the story as merely a rumor, but when pictures were released, there was no denying it anymore.

Watching Leeteuk tell the world about your relationship had been so bittersweet. Anyone could tell from his tone of voice as he talked about you at the press conference that he was happy to date you. Your heart had soared to hear him speak with such lively joy. You were the one that gave him that, and he made you just as happy.

But he also received a lot of flack for dating someone so young, with names like cradle-robber being tossed around. He at least had the advantage that he often heard and read terrible things about himself so he had developed a thick skin to it all. You, on the other hand, were not prepared for any of it.

Your first day of classes had been miserable with everyone recognizing you almost immediately. The scandal had happened a mere few days before the first day so it was fresh on everybody’s minds.

You were alone.

You had moved to Seoul on your own, expecting to make friends at school and see Leeteuk more often than ever. But of course it didn’t work out that way. With the media against your relationship, Leeteuk’s schedule had only gotten more strained as the company did all they could to keep you two apart until the frenzy died down.

As finals drew closer, you grew excited. It meant time away from all of these people. You weren’t sure how much more you could take with all the pressure to do well at school, the looks and treatment from your classmates, and the hate from everyone else.

Getting to see Leeteuk tonight only made you happier. He had managed to beg for a couple of hours off to see you since he wanted to give you some support before finals. It had been weeks since you’d last seen Leeteuk, and you’d spent all that time thinking about your relationship.

All of this swam around in your head, and you didn’t know what to do. You knew you were almost at your breaking point. You loved Leeteuk, but to be honest with yourself you weren’t sure if all of this was worth it anymore. Sometimes, you wished it could all go away forever, even if it meant losing him.

Your phone buzzed, pulling you out of your thoughts. You picked it up to see Leeteuk’s name flash across the screen.

“Hello?”

“_____________! How are you? Are you studying? I’m sorry if you are, but I just needed to talk to you about tonight.” You could hear from his voice that he was tired and that he was in a hurry. He must have been between schedules.

“I’m not studying. What is it?” You could feel in your gut that he was going to cancel his plans. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

“I promise I’m not cancelling. I just need to change the time. Can we meet at midnight instead of at seven? The company couldn’t get my schedule changed in time,” he explained. “Same place.”

You glanced at your watch. That was six hours from now. He probably wouldn’t get any sleep. You knew you weren’t going to get any. “Okay.”

“Well, I’ve got to go. I will say you later tonight. Don’t forget to dress nice!”

“I won’t.”

“I love you.”

“You, too.”

You dropped your phone into your bag and held your head in your hands in frustration. You needed to tell Leeteuk how you were feeling. You didn’t want this to go on any longer. You were suffering. He was suffering. It really wasn’t worth it anymore.

With a sigh, you put it out from your mind and focused on taking the time to study for your exams.

~

A knock at the door woke you with a start. You blinked and rubbed your eyes. You’d fallen asleep on top of your open textbook. Scratching your head, you glanced blearily at the time. It was 12:39.

You sat up quickly. You’d missed your date with Leeteuk.

The knocking persisted.

“I’m coming,” you yelled, wiping some drool from the corner of your mouth. You shuffled over to the door and opened it to find Leeteuk standing there, dressed to the nines in a suit, a bouquet of flowers in hand. “Hi,” you said softly, self-conscious of your sweatpants and baggy tee.

“Hi. These are for you,” Leeteuk said, handing you the flowers. “I take it you fell asleep?” he asked.

You nodded, rubbing your arm and holding the bouquet in the other hand awkwardly. “I’m really sorry. I was studying, and I guess I just fell asleep,” you explained, voice still coarse with sleep.

He smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay. I should have realized that asking to meet you so late would have been difficult since you have finals,” he said. “May I come in?”

“Oh, yes, sorry,” you said, opening the door for him to enter.

“How are your finals preparations going?” he asked. Leeteuk removed his shoes as you locked the door behind him.

You walked into the kitchen to put the flowers into a vase. “Alright. I have a lot of studying to do still,” you said, filling a crystal vase with water. You arranged the flowers in it and smiled, feeling his arms around you. “Thank you for coming by even though I stood you up,” you apologized.

“It’s okay,” Leeteuk said, chin rested on your shoulder. “It’s late, and you have finals. It’s not a big deal. Anyway, I think it’s better that we’re here instead. We can talk more freely.”

You smiled and nodded, feeling a lump of nerves in your throat as you remembered the thoughts you’d had earlier, all the things you wanted to tell him.

“Let’s go sit in the living room,” Leeteuk suggested. He took your hand and led you out of the kitchen.

You felt tears welling up in your eyes as your thoughts came rushing back to you.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

The words escaped your lips before you could stop them.

Leeteuk turned around quickly and noticed the tears in your eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

You said nothing, just cried.

Leeteuk pulled you to his chest, and as you soaked his suit with sobs, he rubbed your back reassuringly. “I know finals are stressful, and it feels like it’s you against the world sometimes, but I’m here. That’s why I’m here: because I love you. I want to be there to help you stay strong. I wish I could see you more and that I didn’t have to be the reason you have no friends.” He squeezed you tighter. “But remember that you’re not alone. I am always here, and I always will be.”

You clutched at the lapels of his jacket, choking on the last of your salty tears. You sniffled as he held your face in his hands. He gazed at you with a tender, hopeful look.

“I love you, _______________,” Leeteuk said. “Only you and always you.”

You nodded.

Leeteuk wiped the streaks of tears from your face. “I hate to see you in pain like this,” he said. “I feel sometimes like that my love as your boyfriend is not enough to get you through everything, and it makes me feel inadequate.”

You shook your head. “No, you are wonderful, and I love you,” you said, voice hoarse.

He smiled. “But it’s not enough,” he said, untangling himself from you. He reached into his pocket and produced a box, a black velvet box. He opened it to reveal a gorgeous diamond ring, and as he kneeled, you gasped.

“__________________,” Leeteuk said, pronouncing your full name, eliciting a sniffly giggle from you, “all I want is to make you happy, and the only way I can do that is to see you every day with a smile on your face, to show you every day how much you are loved, to remind you every day that I will never leave your side, and that the world cannot stop us. Will you marry me, _________________?” he asked.

You nodded, feeling your eyes fill with tears again, but these were different. These were happy. “Yes. Yes! I will!” you said, the words rushing out of you. “I love you, Leeteuk. So much.”

Leeteuk jumped up and took you in his arms again. “God, ______________, I love you, too,” he whispered, your hair. He lifted your chin and gave you a solitary kiss. “All I want is to never see you cry again. I don’t know if I can do that, but I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying.” He smiled and kissed you again.