April 26, 2010

Dear Friend,

Today just like another ordinary day of my life. I'm already turning 34. I have a very loving family, friends that will give a hand in time of needing and all the fans that kind enough to support me with all their heart. I have a good life with all the people that love me. But somehow there's a part of me still missing. Deep down inside I know there's a hole in me. Kind of a huge hole. Something that I'm yearns for. Or is it someone that I yearn for? Yes; definitely someone. Everytime I think about this it will tear me apart. It's not that I'm not thankful to all that I have now but the feeling of something missing is unbearable sometimes.

My omma did call me this morning. I am glad to hear her voice. Just some little chat and blabbering about the 'missing part' of me; I know she just too worried about me and I know well enough that I seems fine with this kind of life now but I'm just another human that always have the feeling to be loved by someone and the feeling to love someone. This is so confusing. I know I have family, friends and my fans but that 'someone', 'someone' that will complete my life. I really do miss to have 'someone' that I can call mine. Did I sounds too desperate here friend? I hope I'm not even if I feel like I am desperate. Come on, 34 this year. I'm not getting younger though. A guy like me should probably have kids. Look at Tae Hyun and even Jang Hyuk, they all already settle down and now keep on asking me when will I fall in love again and find my woman? I'm kinda feel annoyed when they asked me that thing every time we met. And now I sound desperate and pitiful right? What to do? It's not that I don't like anybody or there's no anybody that don't like me. It just when come to this, I really need to be careful because marriage life is not a joke. I need to feel that 'someone' is the one that will not fall out of love with me and same goes to me.

The more I think about this the more stress I feel. So I think I'm going to off to bed now. Thanks for being here with me, friend. Ohh, by the way tomorrow is Family Outing filming and I will be busy the whole day and might not been able to write to you if I get the late night duty. So, please don't miss me my friend. Yah. Now I'm sound like an idiot --"

Till then, annyeong ^^~

The pitiful guy,

Kim Jong Kook

*******

April 26, 2010

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up at 3 pm. And again I skip my breakfast. Poor my tummy --" Because of feel so exhausted yesterday I decided not to step out of my house today. Been lazing around is not good but I do feel good. I need to recover my energy. Been here alone at home make me think a lot. Lots of thing pop up in my mind; the filming schedule, the photo shoot, the family that I miss, 'him' and the unexpected call that I received today. Think about what will happen tomorrow only stress me out and I can't seem to get him out of my mind. I keep listening to his song this whole day. Feel like he's here with me. Yahh. I'm just so obsess with this one man and don't even know why. All I know is I like him too much and been day dream about him this whole day make me so pitiful. He barely knows me at all but I'm just all over him. What should I do about this stupid feeling that I have? I feel like I am stupid to have this kind of feeling towards someone that just out of my reach.

Aihh. Too much dream I guess. Poor Song Ji Hyo, been dreaming too much and suddenly forgot about reality. Reality that so cruel to me. Why? Why all these years I've been involving in this entertainment world, not a single chance that I get to close to him? Why? This is unfair. Ohh wait. Crap! While I've been emotional I almost forgot about tomorrow. Yah! It's tomorrow. Tomorrow will be my chance. My once in a lifetime chance. I feel like jumping up in the air. Aigoo~ I am so happy ^^ is this what we call fate? I've been waiting for years now. Finally, God's did hear my prayer. Ohh God, I'm very thankful. This is the present that I get because of been a good girl this year right, God? I will always be a good girl so God will give me present every year.

I probably get my off and pack my things for tomorrow. Hmm. What should I wear tomorrow? I'm gonna meet him and spend the whole day with him. Okay I know it's not just him and there are also others. But others don’t matter to me. It's him you know? It's my Kim Jong Kook oppa <3 I've been dreaming again. I am glad that you are not annoyed with this little dream of mine, my diary. I talks to you again tomorrow okay diary? 

P/S : Hope everything when well for me tomorrow. Song Ji Hyo, fighting!

The good girl,

Song Ji Hyo

Well this is just short chapter. Will update again ^^. For those who stop by and read my story, I really am thankful. Never have in my mind that someone will read my story. Yahh. Even I know this story not as good as others but I really am glad that someone read and subscribes my fic. ^^ see ya soon. Annyeong ^^ ~