A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for such a late update. Life's been really busy lately and I haven't had time to update. Hopefully I'll be able to post chapters at least one a week. I haven't decided exactly how many chapters this will have, but it'll be quite a few. If you guys want updates on my progress (and my rants about writers' blocks), feel free to follow me on twitter! @askboxficanon

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It rained the next morning, heavy curtains of water obscuring the scene outside of the kitchen window. Washed-out images of cars and people moved slowly seven stories down, and the abundance of water made everything appear to be underwater. Everything around him was drowning.

Kyung ate the breakfast his sister made for him in silence, his eyes glued to the trails of rain racing on the window’s glass. Saehim had left a few minutes earlier and insisted that she’d be back soon, but he knew her demands at her job would keep her away for the rest of the day. He didn’t mind; he needed the quiet.

An hour after his meal, he heard the small jingle notifying him of a text. Kyung pulled out his phone and cringed at the name glowing on the LED. It was, surprisingly, from Minhyuk.

«Hey! My house warming is tomorrow night. I really want u to come! We need to catch up. Let me know if u can make it k?»

Below that message was an address. It wasn’t very familiar, but it was definitely on the other side of town. He’d have to take a taxi since he didn’t have a car.

That was, of course, assuming he’d even go. Kyung still wasn’t too sure if it was a good idea. The young man glanced around the clean apartment, half-expecting Jiho to pop up and encourage him to go. But he was utterly alone in the room. He’d have to make the decision on his own.

--

He stalled. Minhyuk wasn’t the type to get angry if he didn’t get a reply right away, but he knew the older man would want an answer soon. Kyung stood from the table and walked over to the window and opened it. The smell of rain filled his nostrils and he inhaled deeply, savoring the earthy smell. Without thinking, he his hand outside of the window, and his pale skin was immediately drenched.

When he wondered how far the fall would be, he pulled himself back in and closed the window.

He’d rather not go to the party. There were so many people from his previous life that would be there. So many eyes staring at him and judging, wondering why the hell he was there. There were still people who hated him and blamed him, he was absolutely sure of that.

Worst of all, there was Jaehyo. He would undoubtedly be at the party and Kyung wasn’t sure if he could face him. Everything about the older man made him sick with longing and guilt, both of which were serious party-killers. He wanted, more than anything, to go back to the life he’d had two years ago, but that was impossible. Too much had changed, and too much of it was his fault.

Kyung remembered to take his pills half an hour later, but his mind was still wracked from the stress of the decision. Going would probably be disastrous. But if he didn’t go, would he regret it? He stared at the address for what had to be the hundredth time before he sighed. With slow fingers, he clicked into the response bar.

«Thanks. I’ll be there.»

He closed his phone, and he was ninety-nine percent sure he’d regret his decision.

“Waaah! So you’re going?” Saehim sang, bouncing a bit on his bed as she did so.

“Yeah,” Kyung replied, his voice barely audible over his older sister’s excited squeals.

“I’m proud of you, Kyung-ah! I think this could be really good for you. I’d go with you if I didn’t have to work.” She smoothed out some of the wrinkles on bed and smiled. Kyung was sitting in front of her, his legs hidden underneath his dark green blanket. He wished he could be as enthusiastic as his sister. Really, he did. But he found it impossible to do more than lift his lips in a fake smile.

“I probably won’t stay long. They’ll probably be drinking.”

“That won’t be so bad. Minhyukie will probably have non-alcoholic drinks, especially if he’s expecting you. He’s always been so considerate like that. Just try not to forget taxi fare.” Kyung rolled his eyes at her and pulled his legs beneath him. They both knew he was forgetful, but he didn’t like being reminded of such little things. She really did act like his mother sometimes. “Just call me if you need a ride home, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled as he shimmied beneath the covers to get comfortable. It was only six in the evening