{Jem's P.O.V}

I Hated mny things, but the one thing I hated the most was saying goodbye to someone I really cared about.

When Kris told me he was leaving it was like when you're walking up the stairs in the dark and you miss a step.

The moment of dark surprise and fear, was how I felt.

Knowing that I may never see him again didn't help either.

Yet maybe him leaving has let me learn something.

I now know that I loved Kris more than I could ever have imagined a year ago.

Before I met him I was becoming a bleak stoic and unfeeling woman, someone that no one could learn to love.

And he did.

He changed me, he restored my humanity and helped me achive my dream of becoming a published writer.

Now that he wanted to return to his family, the dream of his own, it was the least I could do for him to make that dream of his come true.

When Lena came back from London, she asked me all about Kris.

I told her everything.

When I was finished explaining it took a minute or two for her to process everything.

"Why didn't you stop him? He would have stayed if you had asked him to Jem, you knw that!"

I flinched slightly, but pasted a smile on my face.

"If I did...would you call that love? When you love someone you have to put their happyness before your own.

It doesn't matter if he would have stayed, because I wouldn't want him to be tortured by the thoughts of what 'could have' been if he left....

at least now he's with his family...

they have a bond with him that I can't compare to....and besides don't they say, 

'If you love something set it free...' " I trailed off.

Lena nodded, understanding.

"But the complete saying is; If you love something set it free, and if it comes back it was meant to be,'

How did it feel like...being in love that is." she asked

I sighed wistfully,

"Loving Kris was like....Caffeine, he woke me up from my sleep, and showed me a new world."