It was a rash decision to invite Ryeo-wook to come back to Gangnam with me. I hadn't thought about what my family's plans were and whether they would be happy with another guest. Fortunately, they were pleased to hear that I was bringing a friend home, since they were curious about who I had been spending my time with.

The Reverend was also in town, and I particularly looked forward to introducing him to my new friend as I was eager to gain his approval. I mentioned over the phone that I would be bringing Ryeo-wook with me and his reply was neutral.

"That friend seems to have made quite a strong influence on you," was all he said. I didn't know whether that was meant as a good thing or a bad thing.

The day I met Ryeo-wook at the train station, I realised that I had never seen him outside of Gyeyang Park before. He looked somewhat lost and bewildered in the crowd, but he cheered up when he saw me waving towards him.

On the train we sat side by side and he rested his head against my shoulder. He didn't say much, but he was happy to listen to me talk. I wondered whether he was nervous at all. I didn't think that there was anything he ought to be nervous about, so I didn't ask him.

"You know, I really liked the parks around Gyeyang," I said to make conversation. "I think I would like to have my wedding at some place like that."

"Wedding?" Ryeo-wook said slowly, as he lifted his head up. "I thought you said you wanted to become a priest?"

"Well, you know, a pastor. Pastors can get married as well, you know."

"All the priests I remember from going to church were never married. I thought it was against the rules."

"That's only for Catholic priests," I said.

"Yes, I suppose that's it."

The realisation of what he had just said hit me slowly. "You mean you're a Catholic?"

"Um, yes. I guess so." He looked at me curiously. "Is something the matter with that?"

I could feel my chest tighten slightly. What was I to tell him? "My family, well, they don't really approve of Catholics."

Ryeo-wook smiled, a little sarcastically. "Don't tell them, then. It doesn't matter."

I let out the breath I had been holding. He was right, it didn't matter. Why should I become so worried about such a tiny thing? My father only spoke badly of Catholics in an abstract way, and surely he shouldn't care if he met one? I held onto Ryeo-wook's hand all the same.

Come to think of it, there was actually something rather devious about bringing a Catholic to meet my father. I rarely ever did anything devious, and the thought excited me somewhat. I had to hold back a smile as we approached the house.

Ryeo-wook looked up at the building in a curious sort of way, and I wasn't sure whether he was impressed or shocked. "I didn't realise people actually lived in places like this," he said, and all I could do was laugh. I wasn't really sure what he meant.

The house at this time of year was particularly busy, with family members visiting from various places. I was glad to be home. I liked being back to something I was used to, and I remembered how quiet and solemn my auntie's house had been.

I chatted with my mother in quite a carefree manner and I noticed after some time that Ryeo-wook hadn't said anything since we arrived. I had introduced him to everyone and he had politely bowed, but after that he had gone completely quiet. I realised that I had yet to meet with him in the presence of other people and I remembered that he had once told me that he was shy. I felt guilty for leaving him standing there so awkwardly, so I excused myself from the company and took him away with me.

When we were alone, I said to him: "I'm sorry for leaving you like that. I got carried away and I forgot that you don't know anyone. My cousin is coming over later and I will introduce you to her. I think you will like her, she is very nice."

He nodded, but did not seem particularly enthused about the idea. I suppose it was still a little overwhelming. With some embarrassment, I remembered what he had told me about the break up, as he had called it, and I wondered if he thought it was insensitive of me to impose my cousin onto him so soon. I wasn't sure what to think, and I wished he could have told me more about the issue, but he never mentioned it and I was too embarrassed to ask him.

* * *

The Reverend came later in the day, and after dinner we played chess on the porch. We were alone. I am not a big fan of chess, but it suited me to have some time alone with the Reverend. I told him about my time in Incheon with more detail, and he listened, nodding his head and laughing occasionally. I always valued hearing his advice and general opinions about things, since he was the sort of person who always took matters into careful consideration. He had a kind face, as I remember it now, round with small eyes. He spoke with a soft voice that always sounded wise.

"Where is your new friend?" he asked me at last.

"With Soo-young," I replied. "They have been quite inseparable ever since they met."

The Reverend chuckled softly. "I noticed your friend at dinner. He didn't say much, but I think he seems like a gentle person. He has a rather effeminate manner."

"You should meet him," I said cheerfully, but I wasn't sure if I really meant it. Having introduced Ryeo-wook to my cousin, I felt as if I had lost him somewhat. I didn't really want to lose him again.

"Is he a Christian?" the Reverend asked.

"Ah yes." I paused awkwardly before continuing. "A catholic." I had a terrible habit of blurting out the truth whenever I was with the Reverend, but he seemed to understand. He laughed kindly.

"Very well then, I suppose that is good enough. But I can't help but notice that he has had something of a strong influence on you. I can tell from the way you speak about him. You told me that he was a scientist, and that his view of the world had helped you appreciate God's creation in greater detail. That is a perfectly good judgment, but I fear that you could be taking his opinion too strongly. Remember that you are going to the seminary soon and you will have to show strength of faith..."

I nodded obediently. I did not think that Ryeo-wook could lead me astray in any way, yet I put a great faith in the words of the Reverend. I aspired to be just like him, a leader in the community, so I accepted his opinion gladly.

When we finished our game, I went to go find Ryeo-wook. He was sitting with Soo-young by the outside pool and they were chatting, just as they were when I had left them. I had joined in their conversation initially, but they quickly began talking about books and films and other things I wasn't familiar with and I soon felt left out. Coming back, I saw them leaning in close to whisper something and I felt a pang of jealousy in my heart. How intimate they looked and they had only known each other a couple of hours! It had taken me so long to earn the confidence of Ryeo-wook, and now someone else had won it so easily. Then again, Soo-young was a pretty girl. All the same, it was time for me to take my friend back.

I joined in the conversation, but Soo-young left soon after. By the time that Ryeo-wook and I were alone again, it was already dark. Ryeo-wook immediately moved over to the side of the pool, as if he was looking for something under the water. I followed him over and we sat together on the edge.

"I like the way there are lights underneath," he said, eyes still fixed on the water. "And you can see the moon in the reflection."

"Do you like it here?" I asked him.

He looked up at me. "Yeah, I do. Your family was nice to me. I like Soo-young."

I smiled, hoping that the slight jealously I had felt before was not evident to him. "You spent a long time talking to her. What did you talk about?"

"We talked about you of course." He laughed at my expression. "As soon as you left I made her tell me everything about you. I hope you don't mind."

"That's not very nice," I said jokingly, "talking about me behind my back. I was feeling quite left out you know."

"I'm sorry."

"That's okay. You can kiss me to make up for it."

He stared at me for a moment, making a face and then turned away. "I want to go swimming," he said. "Come in with me."

I followed his request, although I regretted it the moment I entered the water. It had been warm during the day, but at night time the water was freezing. Ryeo-wook appeared suddenly from behind me, taking hold of my waist as he pulled himself up.

"It's funny isn't it, how people feel much lighter in water." He pulled me up to demonstrate, and I fought against him, but I was actually grateful for the feeling of his body against mine.

"It's so cold," I complained.

"Don't be a baby," he said, but I could feel that he was shivering.

He let go of me. The feeling of his tongue in my mouth was so sudden that it took me by surprise. Perhaps it had been the cold temperature of the water, but when he kissed me it felt so unbelievably hot that I can still remember the feeling to this day.

He put his forehead against my shoulder, and at the time I thought it was funny how he had taken my request so seriously.

* * *

Later, we sat together in my bedroom, almost ready to go to sleep. I didn't want him to leave me just yet so I asked him to stay and talk with me a bit longer.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked.

"Tell me a secret about you that no one else knows."

He shrugged. "I don't have any secrets. You know pretty much everything about me."

"That's not true! I know hardly anything about you, at least I know nothing about your life outside me."

He smiled kindly. "Then tell me, what do you want to know?"

"Tell me about your girlfriend."

His smile fell. "What girlfriend? I don't have one."

"No, I mean the one you had the break up with. I remember you told me you had a break up."

"Oh... that." He looked down at his hands. "Do you really want to hear about it?"

"Of course I do." I moved in closer so that our heads were almost touching.

"Okay, but don't tell anyone alright? I was seeing my tutor for a bit. It was a bad idea and it didn't work out well..."

"What happened?"

Ryeo-wook paused for a moment. His head slightly cocked, he stared at me, as if reading my expression. "He decided to go back to his wife."

We continued to stare at each other in silence for the next few moments. I don't know how long it lasted, but his last words had hit me like a slow moving bullet.

"I don't understand..." I said slowly.

Ryeo-wook became tense. "I can't see what isn't to understand. It's quite simple really."

"No, it's not quite simple," I replied automatically, hardly conscious that my own mouth was speaking. "You do realise you have done something terrible. A terrible mistake."

"It certainly was," Ryeo-wook replied and I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic. "It was all for nothing and I have never felt more worthless in my life. I know you probably think I am a bad person, but I have learnt my lesson now. I will never sleep with a married man again. It's no good, they always end up going back to their wives."

I inwardly winced at the suggestion that this was not the first time he had done such a thing. I didn't say anything. He continued:

"I will say this: he made me feel worthless, treating me like his toy, but then whenever I was with you, I would feel important again. You don't make me feel worthless, ever. You're not like them, those soulless, empty people who don't even know why they do what they do. Believe me. I love you."

He looked at me, waiting, as if he expected me to say something. I couldn't say anything, my head was spinning and my heart was beating too fast. His expression became cold.

"I'm going to bed now," he said and left.