(Earlier…)

Dongwoon hospitably took into his care Yoseob’s little yellow suitcase and extra-padded winter coat and stored them away in his bedroom. He bustled into his wooden kitchen cabinets looking for a little something small the child could nibble on.

Doojoon was outside. Still.

Yoseob blinked as the gaze of his brown orbs monitored and recorded the frantic movement of this new man with all the scrutiny of a young child. It caused a brief bout of dizziness. He was moving so fast…

“Would you like a rice cake, Yoseob? Or a piece of fruit? Sorry that there’s not much of a choice… That’s all I have for right now. If a certain someone told me you were coming I would’ve bought more snacks for you.”

“Rice…cake,” cheeped Yoseob. Dongwoon’s lips puckered while cooing at the little one’s nasally response. One rice cake it was. He rummaged in his snack compartments and salvaged the promised treat. The faux blonde, grinning a little too wide for such a simple action, kneeled to the boy and in his hand was the cake.

“Here you are, dear.”

Yoseob’s little fingers grasped it and gently plucked it from his hand, again responding with a meek, “Thank you.” His little teeth crunched into the crispy circle.

Dongwoon made those strange, gurgling sounds as he watched him eat. “You are soooo welcome, Yoseob~ Let me know if you would like anything else. Don’t be too shy now~”

“Okay.” Yoseob replied. Dongwoon was… friendly. Yellow-haired and a maker of startling noises, but friendly. And he smiled a lot. Those were observations that Yoseob gathered.

Doojoon entered the home.

“I was beginning to wonder whether or not you were going to stay out there and freeze to death. I gave Yoseob here a little rice cake. I hope that’s okay with you.”

Dongwoon started to rise. Doojoon ed his coat, “Yeah. It’s fine. Did you say ‘Thank you’, Seob?”

The little boy bobbed his head up and down once and kept chewing. Dongwoon floated to Doojoon and grabbed his coat by its sleeve. Yoseob watched with interest.

“I’ll hang it for you,” the blonde offered. Doojoon blank. He allowed him to take it, nevertheless. Dongwoon disappeared in the hallway…

Doojoon sighed quite loudly – closing his eyes -- hoping that that exhale would internally relieve him of the pent-up emotions scraping around in his head. It did nothing, of course, but when he forked back his eyelids and was graced with the presence of his little boy, every niggling feeling was sedated. Yoseob smiled, noting his appa’s peering. The latter kneeled at his small socked feet and simply, simply grinned.

“Can appa have a bite?”

Yoseob looked down to his now crescent-shaped snack. He looked up to Doojoon, who was comically frowning and giving him puppy eyes. This was a game…! The boy smirked and squinted and jerked his treat away. “No~ My rice cake, appa.”

“Keke… Very well then. I’ll just eat you instead!” exclaimed the playful adult. He drilled his lips into Yoseob’s small neck where he kissed and lightly nipped at the little boy, emanating the most hilarious of sounds. Yoseob hollered and tried to wriggle away, but Doojoon kept his little self there with his arms about his frame. It was a delightfully ticklish ordeal for Yoseob. Doojoon picked him up, and they both landed on the couch, Yoseob in his lap. Doojoon’s lips relaxed, now strewing tentative, light kisses to the young one’s cheek. Having Yoseob beside him was sheer elation. He was all snuggly and warm and little… It jumpstarted the recollection of past moments when they were like this, huddled together after a safe yet rough bout of horse playing, or tender moments spent together right before bed. Though he suddenly remembered that he couldn’t and shouldn’t be too boisterous with Yoseob. He was recovering from his illness. But he couldn’t help himself. He had his Seobie back.

“Are you still feeling sick?” said Doojoon to his little one.

“Mmmmmmm… No. Umma says I still have fever though, but I don’t have to take any medicine. I took nasty medicine a lot.”

“Aww… There wasn’t any sweet medicine?”

Yoseob exaggerated his “no” headshake. He wouldn’t stop until his hair slapped his face like he loved. Doojoon laughed.

“Umma made it,” Yoseob said, “It was green. It tasted like dirt and grass.”

“Oh yuck… But you’re better now, yeah? The nasty medicine worked then.”

“And popsicles. Umma gave me popsicles every day.”

“And Seobie loves popsicles, doesn’t he~?” Doojoon tickled the boy. Yoseob squirmed and giggled with amusement.

“I don’t think Dongwoon has any popsicles… Maybe he can go buy some for you.”

Yoseob gazed north into his appa’s eyes, “He will!? We have no more at home. I ate all them.”

And at the very mention of the blonde’s name, he reappeared from the hall carrying various board games stacked all the way to his neck.

“I just thought little Yoseob might want to play some of these while he’s here…” Dongwoon explained. He deposited the boxes onto the little round table in the living room. Yoseob dashed out of his appa’s lap and to the brightly-colored boxes. His eyes leapt to and fro until he found one he was interested in.

“Oh! Me and umma play this game! And appa, too! Remember?! We play it ‘til umma gets mad because he thinks appa is not being fair, then he has to gives more pieces to him to make umma happy!” Yoseob elaborated, bouncing and pointing to the brown box. Doojoon smiled… This was true. Junhyung was a sore loser, but Doojoon bandaided his loss with unceasing kisses. It did the trick.

“Is that right? Me and my umma used to play all of these when I was little like you. Hey, maybe you, me and appa can all play it together! It will be so fun~” the blonde suggested, excited and inspired by the boy’s sudden enthusiasm. He started to remove the box from the stack.

Doojoon’s smile dropped. Junhyung’s threat was echoing.

“A-Actually, Dongwoon, Yoseob was just about to ask you something. Weren’t you, baby?”

Yoseob stopped his bouncing, “Oh yeah.”

Dongwoon was instantly intrigued. “Yes, honey? What is it?”

“Um… Does hyung have popsicles?”

Doojoon prayed that the answer would be “no”.

“Popsicles? You want popsicles?”

“Yes…” the boy gingerly wisped.

“Aw. Let hyung check on that for you.”

Dongwoon made way for his refrigerator. He opened the freezer, removing and relocating the numerous frozen items stocked inside. He made certain that he excavated and thoroughly searched for the frozen sickles before making a conclusion. “Ummm… I don’t see any in here, sweetie. I was sure I had some put away somewhere. I can take a trip to the store for you if you’d like.”

Yoseob grinned. “Really?”

The blonde kneeled before him again. Little Seobie was beginning to feel like a little prince.

“Of course! You have a favorite kind, don’t you?”

“I like the yellow box. There is a blue popsicle and a red popsicle on it,” discerned Yoseob, almost immediately.

“Alright. Yellow box, blue and red popsicle. Got it. Let me grab my coat--”

“--Dongwoon,” Doojoon ejected. He dug into his pocket for his wallet. He pinches the couple of bills he has remaining and presents them to the man. “This should be enough.”

Dongwoon chuckles. “No. Baby keep that. This is for Seobie, so it’s okay. I got it.”

Doojoon flinched. His tremulous eyes slowly shifted themselves to look at the little boy. Yoseob was looking at Dongwoon expectantly and with a renewed curiosity. He mindlessly took a teensy bite into his vanishing rice cake; his little head snapped to the right, eager in hearing his appa’s response.

“E-Er. Okay then… Thanks,” Doojoon tucked away the bills, smirking at his son, “Say ‘thank you’, Yoseob.”

“Thank you, hyuuung~”

Dongwoon physically replied with a big, big lift of the lips. He ruffled Yoseob’s locks before patting the crown of his head. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Blondie entered and exited the hall, wearing his coat as he stomached the biting cold.

(Yoseob’s POV)

“Yoseob,” Appa called. I got in his lap again.

“How’s umma?” he asked real quiet.

I put the little piece of rice cake into my mouth. It’s all gone. I’m so full; my tummy hurts. Umma made me a big breakfast. I had two muffins with nuts in it and milk and egg and juice.

…I miss umma. I hope he is okay. I don’t like it when he is alone.

“Umma isssss………”

“Is he… happy? Sad? What kind of faces does umma make?” Appa asked.

I tried to make my face look just like how umma’s is. I made a small happy face, then a sad face, then a tired face. I yawned real big like umma does when I come home. Then I showed appa how he talked.

“‘Appa’s not here, I’m here, so you gotta do that, that, that and that.’ ‘We don’t waste food, Yoseob. Eat, eat.’ Umma yelled a lot. He is nicer now. When I got fever, he laid in my bed and hug me and we would go to sleep. He cried because I was sick. I pretend I was sleep so I heard him… Umma used to be sad a lot. I see him cry on some days. I make him cards so he will feel better… He goes to work a lot and it makes him tired. I have to go to Kiki’s house sometimes all day. I ask umma to play with me sometimes, but he will say, ‘I have to make money so we can eat and be warm, Seobie. Maybe later.’ But he doesn’t, so I just play by myself. Or watch TV… I like playing with umma better though.”

And then I remember that day when I found umma in appa’s office. I didn’t know what he was doing, but it was dark in there. And he was sitting in appa’s chair. He didn’t move. I was so scared. He wouldn’t look at me when I called him.

“Umma went into your office, too. He was looking at those pictures where I was little. Like a baby. ’Member those, appa? ’Member?”

“Yes… yes, I remember those.”

Umma was smiling so big in those pictures. He was smiling because appa was there.

I grabbed appa’s shirt and pulled on it. “I want you to come home…” I tell him. I mean it a lot. Sometimes it hurts and I cry like umma. I can’t go to sleep because I can only think about appa… I don’t like going to school ’cause I think appa’s gonna come home and I will miss him. I had a dream that appa came home. When I woke up, he wasn’t there. I looked in all the rooms and I sneaked outside and looked all around the house but I couldn’t find him…

“Appa, you still love umma, right?”

“Yoseob… I love your umma so, so much that it hurts me to know he is going through a hard time.”

“Why did you make him feel not special?”

Appa looked shocked. “Who told you that?”

“Umma did.”

“…That’s what he told you, baby?”

I shaked my head up and down. And then I thinked really hard about what umma told me that night on the couch, “He said you gived your heart to another person and his love was not special to you no more. He said… um… you made him feel not special and he was hurt. ‘You can only love one person with special love.’ He said you loved somebody else.”

Appa looked at me for a very long time. He was biting on his lips. I think he was thinking.

“I did, sweetheart. I did. Appa made a big, big, big mistake. A stupid, big mistake that he never should have made. Remember me telling you that on the phone? Yes, Appa did love someone else, but he doesn’t anymore. That is what he is trying to tell umma, but umma is so hurt and angry that he won’t believe him.”

“But you have to make umma believe you, appa. You have to make him feel special so you can be in love! You have to say sorry with your heart and mean it.”

“I know I have to, Yoseob, but, baby sometimes ‘sorry’ isn’t enough.”

But I thought “sorry” made everything better? That’s what they say on TV. If you say “Sorry” for mistake, everything is better… back to normal. What does appa have to do to get umma happy? What if he can’t…?

“Then… appa and umma never be together?”

“What? No. Sweetheart… That does not mean that at all…” Appa made me look up at him, “It just means… that appa will have to work very hard to make things right. That’s what you do when you make mistakes. And I will promise you this: on Sunday, appa’s going to talk to umma about coming back home. He is going to do all he can to make umma believe that he is sorry for what he did so we can be a family again. You would like that, wouldn’t you…? For us to be all together again?”

“I would like it a lot.”

“But then you’ll have to see me and umma kiss all the time~~” appa said laughing.

“It’s okay! I will still like it a lot!”

Then Appa holded me tight… I like umma’s soft hugs and appa’s big hugs.

“Appa’s going home with you Sunday. No matter what happens. I promise, baby. Promise, promise, all my heart…”

Hyung came back with my popsicles! It was the yellow box kind, too, just like I said. I asked Appa if I could eat one now, but he said later. After I eat lunch in a little bit.

“What would you like for lunch, Seobie?” appa asked. I hugged him and then I told him I wanted a cheeseburger. I even made a big sad face, because Umma won’t let me have one. I think I only had one maybe four months ago and that’s ‘cause appa let me. He looked at me, then I saw a little smile, and then a big smile came on his face. Appa said yes, but we can’t tell umma about it. “Our secret,” appa said.

“Seobie. A nice old man at the market told me it’s supposed to snow really hard later on. So he gave me a free little hat for you.”

Hyung showed me a blue hat with a white puff ball on the top. I put it on my head and kept patting the ball. It was so soft to me.

“You like it?” Hyung asked.

I said “yes” and “thank you” without appa telling me to say it. Then hyung said me, him and appa could go out later and make snowmans when the snow is on the ground. I love snow! It is so fun! Me and umma and appa would play in the snow all day together… That was fun, too.

“I don’t know, baby. You’re still recovering from your fever. We don’t want you to get more sick. You know how umma gets,” appa said.

“Oh come on, Doojoonie. He can play just for a few minutes, can’t he? That won’t hurt him or umma will it?”

Me and hyung made sad faces at appa. Appa kind of looked at hyung for a long time. Then he smiled at me again.

“We’ll play for thirty minutes. That’s it. I don’t want umma down my throat about you Seobie.”

So we did go outside and make snowmans and had snowball fights. Appa kept hitting me with them, but me and hyung teamed up and got him back. Hyung would make the snowballs and then I would throw them at appa real fast. Appa falled so many times. “‘Ow, Seobie! Ow, ow!’” It was funny. And guessed what? We played for an hour! Then after that, all three of us went out and we got cheeseburgers and fries. Appa tried to steal my fries, but hyung made him stop. He watched them for me while I went to play on the inside playground. Hyung is a good watcher. I still had eight fries left. I shared them with hyung for a reward, then we played together.

It was a lot of playing, so I got sleepy quick. I went to sleep in appa’s car on the way back to his new house. I felt somebody pick me up and put me on a bed. I falled asleep for a nap. Hyung woked me up after a long time. It was a little dark outside. He asked me if I wanted to play the game now. Appa was working on his labtop. I asked him if he would play with us, and he said yeah. We all played together. I won all three whole times! Hyung got second place, and appa was last. He folded his arms and frowned. I crawled to his lap and kissed his cheek so he would feel better like he does umma when he loses. He smiled at me and gave me kisses, too, then let me have a popsicle. Then we colored pictures together from my coloring book. I colored a orange bunny and a purple cat with baby kitties. Hyung colored a green turtle, and it made me jealous because his pictures looked better than my pictures. He colored in the lines like perfect. I tried hard to copy him but I couldn’t do it. I asked him for help, and Hyung taught me how to color in the lines. I colored a perfect pink elephant for umma and a kind of green one for appa. I colored a perfect blue giraffe, too. I let hyung have it, and he made weird noises and hugged me too tight.

It got dark outside. Hyung was starting to make dinner. I asked him if I could help him. He said I could and called me a “little helper”. I climbed on a stool that he got me, so I could see the sink and help clean lettuce for salad.

“I help umma cook all the time. But not with stove. He doesn’t want me to get burned,” I said.

“Aww… that is so sweet. I bet you like cooking with your umma all the time…”

I nodded my head.

“Do you like cooking with hyung?”

“Uh huh.”

“I like cooking with Seobie, too~”

We finished washing the lettuce, then hyung started frying stuff. He said for me to do something else until he needed help again ‘cause frying was on the stove. I went to appa who was sitting on the couch on his labtop again. I sat by him and then he put the labtop down and put me in his lap and gave me hugs.

“I sure had fun playing with my Yoseob todaaaay,” he sang.

“I had fun with my appa. And Woon hyung…”

I rubbed my eyes. Appa was real warm and my body felt tired.

“Someone’s sleepy… and I think it is Seobie,” Appa said softly.

“No I’m not…”

And then I remembered something very important! I tugged on appa’s shirt real hard.

“Appa! Umma said I have to call him!”

“‘Call him’?”

“Yes! Right before I go to bed! He said call him every night before I go to bed!”

“Okay, okay, Seobie. Calm down… You’ll talk to umma. We have to eat dinner first, then I’ll get you ready for bed.”

We had dinner. I ate my salad and my chicken and drinked all my water. Appa told me to slow down and hyung laughed. I just wanted to talk to umma so much. I wanted to tell him about my whole day and hear him speak…

When I was done, appa got out my pajamas while I brushed my teeth all by myself. We met in hyung’s room. He said me and appa can sleep in his bed.

Appa helped me put my pajamas on and get in the bed. He grabbed his phone and gave it to me and sat next to me on the bed.

“Can you remember the number?” he asked me.

“I remember it. I had to remember it at school just in case I get lost.”

“Good… but, um, Yoseob,” appa said real quiet. He looked behind him for a real long time. He got up and closed the door, then came back to me. He looked serious.

“Appa needs to tell you something first.”

“…Okay.”

“Did you have fun with hyung today?”

I nodded.

“That’s good. I’m glad that you did… but… you can’t tell umma about him.”

“Why?”

“Because… if you do, appa may never, ever, ever get a chance to see you again and be with you again like this…” appa said. Then I got real scared. I would never see appa again? Why!?

“Why, appa? Why can’t I tell--”

“It’s a long story, darling,” appa started rubbing my head, “and I know you’re confused…”

“Is hyung a bad person?”

“What? No. No, hyung is not a… bad person. I promise to tell you everything one day, sweetheart… But it’s almost eight-thirty, and umma’s expecting you to call him. Go ahead and put the number in.”

I dialed my home number and heard it ring and ring. I kept thinking about what appa said. I don’t understand why I can’t tell umma about hyung…

(PRESENT TIME​. End of Yoseob’s POV)

“Hello?” said a voice.

“Umma,” Yoseob replied.

“Baby?”

“Hi umma. It’s Seobie.”

“Yes, yes, I know. I know my Seobie’s voice. I didn’t forget about you already. How have you been? Tell me about your day.”

“Appa got me a coloring book and markers. And color pencils. Then we, um, played games and I play outside with him and make snowmans. I made an appa one and an umma one.”

“Ohh. I bet they were beautiful… I wish I could see them. You were warm, too, right? You had on your jacket and--”

“--And my shoes and my gloves. I was warm… Appa took a picture of my snowmans. He said he’s gonna send it to you. They’re still outside, too.”

“Cool. I bet that umma snowman misses Seobie.”

The boy laughed, “I miss you, umma.”

“But aren’t you having so much fun with appa? You were in such a hurry to leave me all by myself.”

“Yesss, but I still miss you.”

Junhyung’s emotions were crazy. He did not know he would have such an issue with having Yoseob detached from his hip bone. Nothing felt right. Nothing seemed right without that little boy’s feet pattering every slab of hardwood in sight as he ran amuck, or his pitchy voice whining about this or chiming on and on about that, or just that innocent “Seobie” smile made on the smallest and sweetest of mouths. It was crazy… “And umma misses you, too. Terribly, terribly…” a pause, so Junhyung could catch himself, “…Have you been eating good? Drinking a lot of juice? Remember umma telling you to drink juice for your fever?”

“I remember. Um, appa got me popsicles for my fever. I ate two today and I drinked water for dinner. I don’t feel like I am sick… I feel better.”

“That’s excellent, good job…! Now make sure you drink lots of water, too. Sometimes that’s just as good. I don’t want you getting weak again. I hate it when you get sick, Seobie--”

“--How was your day?” Yoseob mimicked perfectly. Junhyung was slightly fazed by this maturely-inquired question.

“Umm… well, I didn’t really do anything. Didn’t have to work. I stayed at home while Kiki worked at the shop--”

“--Hi, Seobie! I miss you!” Kikwang cooed into the phone, abruptly leaning over Junhyung. Yoseob shouted back a spiteful greeting. Kikwang went on further to tell the little one that his umma was in his care and that he would look after him while he was away. Junhyung retained control of the telephone, slapping Kikwang playfully on the thigh. He chuckled, “Yeah. Kiki’s here with me. We had dinner together.”

“So umma is having fun, too?”

Junhyung laughed.

“Yes, I am… I’m having fun… Um, alright. It’s late for you… Baby, you listen to me. I love you sooo, so much, and I will talk with you tomorrow night, okay?”

Yoseob nodded, a little sad, and this sadness Junhyung could detect.

“Okay.”

“…Give the phone to appa. Sweet dreams, honey.”

“Sweet dreams, umma… I love you.”

A tender goodbye, and Yoseob surrendered the phone to his appa.

“Umma wants you.”

Doojoon blinked at it, then received it apprehensively. Hopefully he wasn’t upset about him and the lateness of the call.

“Y-Yeah?”

“Kiss him ‘Goodnight’ for me… and tuck him in tight. I packed his nightlight in his suitcase in case he wants it… it’s in the front pocket. Thomas is in the little one.”

“Got cha,” Doojoon affirmed. His heart picked up on the uneasiness in the other man’s tone so, so effortlessly. Junhyung sounded weak again. Bendable. Doojoon thought it was a beautiful thing, because that shaky tone was because of the unrivaled love and concern that Junhyung had for Yoseob… That little boy was his center, his sun, for nearly five years. Without that sunshine, Junhyung was obsolete to the world. Taking Yoseob out of his life stripped all of the strength from his steel core. He became a sphere of clay that anyone could morph to their will.

Doojoon fantasized in the thought of being there at his side, giving him a body to hold and let his baby know that their baby was alright. Kikwang would be doing that, and that definitely rubbed Doojoon the wrong-est way possible. It empowered him with more determination to patch up the dry, patch-infested relationship with Junhyung.

“I got ‘im, Jun. He will be taken care of,” Doojoon whispered to the shivering man on the other side as sweetly as he could make it sound.

Junhyung sighed, uttered a departure, and then disconnected lines.

Doojoon sighed, too. He shoved his cell in his back pocket and did exactly what Junhyung instructed him. He tucked little Yoseob in tight, got him his Thomas, and plugged the nightlight in a socket situated adjacent to the bed. He cut the lamp lights off before kneeling at the edge of the bed, Yoseob staring at him on his side, his long plush train tucked under his arm.

“Warm?” he questioned, smiling. His visage glowed in the warm, yellow hum of the nightlight’s light.

Yoseob bobbed his heavy head.

“I tucked you in tight enough? Like umma?”

“Yeah. Jus’ like umma.”

“Great. I’m getting somewhere…… Alright, buddy,” Doojoon kissed Yoseob’s left cheek, “one from umma--” and he kissed the right one, “--and one from me. Sleep tight… Good night, Seobie.”

Yoseob was washed over with peace and sleep.

Doojoon left the room, closing the store with a smile.

(Dongwoon’s POV)

I heard my bedroom door close from the kitchen. Doojoon must have finished tucking little Seobie away for bedtime. I wished I could’ve watched and listened… those two are so cute. Doojoon dotes on him constantly and Seobie eats it up. He seems like such a happy little boy. Doojoon’s lucky to have a teeny thing like that in his life… When I can’t make him smile or laugh, Yoseob does. I think that’s precious.

“Doo? Could you come in the kitchen for a second?” I called.

“Where are you?” he asked, but a quick turn into the kitchen and he found me standing over the packaged leftovers. I put them in the refrigerator before giving him my attention.

…I saw anxiety in his straight lips. I can read this clearly because of all the past occurrences when he would run to me after having a verbal tussle with Junhyung. Only this time, there was no verbal tussle, so what was this anxiety all about? I would get to it later, but I had a few words that I wanted to share with him.

“Thanks for allowing me to be around Yoseob today. I know… umma wouldn’t want me around him, but I am glad that we did meet. He really is a sweet, kind, mannered, adorable little boy. And I really enjoyed playing with him. I just wanted to thank you for that.”

Doojoon appeared relieved at my words. A fluttery smile took to his lips.

“You’re welcome, Dongwoon… Yeah… A-Are you sure it’s fine that Seob and I sleep in your bed?”

“Yes, Doojoon. He doesn’t need to be on the couch, and you need to be in there with him.”

Doojoon nodded. The atmosphere settled into a layer of emptiness. We stood in our spots and kept to ourselves for a few seconds that felt to be hours, until Doojoon decided to speak up again.

“Dongwoon?”

“Yes?”

“Could we… talk, tomorrow? Tomorrow evening?”

I had almost forgotten about that! Doojoon and I were supposed to talk about where we stood as a couple -- if we could call ourselves that -- but I had gotten so overwhelmed with joy that I’d finally gotten to meet little Yoseob it slipped my mind. I had always, always wondered what it would’ve been like to interact and play with him the moment I saw the family pictures in Doojoon’s office space. In this particular picture, Yoseob shone like an angel in white with an even more angelic smile. The man beside him -- Junhyung -- seemed to proud to have him in his lap and in his life, and Doojoon seemed even prouder to call them “family”. It was a tender photo, one that my heart cannot shake. One that my heart also told me to keep in mind, because something that beautiful cannot be easily torn apart.

I see this now.

“…Yes. That would be fine,” I replied.

“Great… well, I’m gonna go off to bed.”

We wished one another a good rest -- no kiss, no hug -- and then I settled myself onto the edge of my sofa. What in the world was he going to say that evening? What would he say? We definitely aren’t lovers now, are we? We certainly aren’t acting like it. Something has changed his mind about me. About us, rather. And I do not understand why.

This is what he wanted. He wanted me. Now he has me, and… what? Nothing? He has spent all of his painstaking effort and time and money to keep me from Junhyung’s radar, so now when he finally has me he wants nothing to do with me? I don’t understand it. I can’t. From what I’ve heard from him, Junhyung did nothing but nag. Why would he want to go back to that when he could just be with me in a “nag-free” environment? No man wants to come home and immediately have someone on their back. Doojoonie has enough things to deal with rather than some harpy chirping his ears off.

Has he realized something? That has to be it… Something had to have clicked or registered or whatever in his mind and conscious that’s made him this… unresponsive Doojoon that has never existed around me before. Or maybe I have changed.

Could that be it, too? Was it I that changed? What did he not like anymore? What happened with me?

I have endured his attitude for so long, and now, I can’t take it any longer. Tomorrow evening I am going to need him to thoroughly explain himself about where we are going to take this. I am not dangling from anyone’s little chord. It will be either me or Junhyung, and he will make that decision tomorrow.

(End of Dongwoon's POV)

(Saturday Morning)

It was Junhyung’s first day back to work from that terrible, terrible week he spent at home playing nurse umma. He was warmly welcomed back by every fifth customer that morning. Some of them even had gifts for the boy. Sweet Yong drew in the most mannerable of people. They had a billion questions about Yoseob and asked Junhyung himself if he was sound. Many of his noonas pointed out his white and creamish skin tone and his flat cheeks. The concern was endearing…

Junhyung smiled as he assured everyone that he and Yoseob were doing well, but all this talk about the wee one made his heart ache with worry… Did he get a good rest? Could he not go to sleep? Was Yoseob missing him, too? Did he get enough to eat? Was he warm at night? What was he having for breakfast? Something nutritious?

But in spite of his seeming disoriented state of mind, Junhyung performed exceptionally on his job. Kikwang watched him shuffle about with amazement and awe as he was giving orders to the chef, handing his loyal customers their adorable yellow boxes of treats with the biggest smile his mouth could endure… Kikwang sensed that this was a façade. He knew his friend, and he knew underneath that thin skin was another Junhyung longing for peace from the feelings and emotions that isolated him. Around the dawn of the afternoon is when things usually quiet down. Kikwang decided he would investigate around that time and let him in on his plan that he had set up some days back.

…Last night, they agreed to still being just good friends. That only elongated the length of the crevasse in Kikwang’s heart; now it was plagued with wanting and needing more of Junhyung… More of someone he couldn’t have. He knew he was the answer to Junhyung’s misfortunes, but the latter was irreversibly in love with Doojoon… He never admitted it that previous night. Perhaps his non-admittance was the actual admittance. So Junhyung was in love, but what was he going to do about it? Kikwang knew he could take that sweet man by his withered heart and make it red and plump again. He could make all of his dreams come true. Worrying about being hurt by another would be the least of his troubles. Kikwang could honestly say he had a neat, mental picture frame in his mind of just him, Junhyung and Yoseob… The rejection he got last night was the rock that shattered that dream.

So Kikwang was in love – still in love -- but what was he to do about it?

It was back to square one, but for now, he was going to do what he could to put a smile on his beloved’s lips, and keep it there.

“Junhyung?”

The man was wiping and disinfecting tables.

“Yeah?”

“I understand that you’re busy… And are under a lot right now with Yoseob and work and him, but I really think it would do you some good if you got out for a little while. Like, you know, do a little something that focuses on you. Pamper yourself is what I’m essentially saying.”

“I’m an umma, not a woman, Kikwang.”

“You don’t have to be a woman to pamper yourself, Jun. And you don’t really have much of a choice now.”

At Kikwang’s rehearsed signal, half of Sweet Yong’s employees came from the back. They gathered around the table that Junhyung was buffering. He spotted a gathering of legs. Soon, he crossed glances with the glowing eyes of his staff, Kikwang standing before them all as he held an envelope of some sorts. Junhyung suddenly felt very awkward; he slowly straightened up.

An intervention?

Kikwang offered the envelope to the other.

“This is for you, from all of us. We pitched in a little something, so you could afford a few special things. There’s a massage in there from that spa across the street. It’s also good for a free shampoo and style. And we raised a couple thousand won--”

“‘Thousand’?” Junhyung repeated, eyes widening as he took the envelope. It was thick.

“Yes, thousands. It’s for a mini shopping spree. You may go out and buy whatever you want for yourself. You deserve it.”

Junhyung stared at the white envelope in his hands. He made eye contact with all ten of them. They were beginning to feel a bit worried, but a brisk smile blessed his face.

“All of you are getting fired,” he muttered, wholly joking, “But um… thank you all. Thanks. A lot… for all this… Thank you…”

Each of his team members individually demonstrated their appreciation for the boss with an embrace. Kikwang was the last to make a bond. Junhyung stopped in front of Kikwang, smirking with suspicion.

“This was your idea,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, so you can direct all of your rage to me.”

And Junhyung unleashed his rage… in a hug. The longest hug of all. Kikwang’s skin tingled with the very same tingles quaking his heart. His emotions and feelings were mixed in the most worst of ways. He didn’t know whether to feel happy to have this man embrace him in such a tight and intimate fashion, or a little let down… This body would never truly be his to hold. Kikwang backed off…

“Go. Leave now. I got things over here. Just take a break. One day won’t kill you.”

“Thank you, Kiki…”

Junhyung took his friend’s advice. He made his stroll to the spa center indicated on the card, which was not down the street, he would have you know. He was going to strangle Kikwang by his little neck. He knew by the time he arrived at the dreaded place he’d need a massage, but upon going inside, it didn’t look too dreadful at all. It was a good-sized, sweet-smelling place with the most attractive young ladies. They humbly welcomed Junhyung and inquired about his reason for coming. Junhyung “uhh”ed and consulted his magical envelope. He identified the parlor’s certificate tucked inside and read the bubbly-pink text: “Ultimate Package! Free shampoo and style, free thirty-minute massage.”

That Kiki… Well, the women escorted their client to the salon chamber and had him immediately seated. They didn’t appear to be that busy… The styling noona asked if he had a particular style already premeditated. Junhyung plainly said “surprise me”. And he was definitely surprised: His deep brown locks, which were almost shoulder length at that point, deep strawberry red, waved and all. It was different. Unforseeably fitting. He looked like a different Junhyung. The color in his hair forced out the blush from his cheeks. He appeared so much healthier.

His massage was a dream. Noona had hands of a goddess. Junhyung drifted away at so many moments… His problems rubbed away, his sorrows… Noona also commented on how his tense his shoulders and lumbar were. After her and touches, he was supple once again. Thirty minutes couldn’t have been spent more efficiently.

Junhyung – new hair and new body – tried tipping all of them, but they refused time and time again. They had to literally shove him out the door.

Junhyung ventured to many a boutiques for his shopping spree. He had 60,000 won to work with. 60,000. Now Junhyung’s desire to send Kikwang out of this world was renewed. Too much money. It was entirely too much. What was he going to buy with 60,000 won? Junhyung paced up and down the aisles for a little something, peeking at mannequins, shoving hangers left and right… It had been some good time since he’d bought anything for himself wardrobe-wise. He didn’t have the luxury with money being an issue. He really didn’t care…

…There was a kids’ boutique some blocks down. They sold clothing at very reasonable prices, as well. Yoseob could use some clothes. He was a growing boy, and his birthday was approaching. New threads and gifts would be a cute idea. Junhyung left the men’s store and entered this boutique, thinking he would come out with just four or five articles of clothing. Junhyung bought several things for his baby. He couldn’t resist putting down anything when he envisioned how adorable and handsome his son would be in this or that shirt. He got the toys also: a full set of multicolored play cars and a kid-sized kitchen play set with plastic foods for his little chef. He imagined Yoseob’s eyes glowing alight when he sees this gigantic gift with his name on it. Junhyung couldn’t wait to get him home…

Junhyung didn’t buy a single thing for himself when it was all said and done, and it didn’t matter to him. He dropped off the purchases at his house, then made a trip back to Sweet Yong.

Kikwang was at the front desk, holding down the fort for his boss. Then the eyes in his skull swelled at the sight of the said boss’s new, short and wavy red locks. He abandoned his station, skipped over to Junhyung and visually swallowed his brand-new image.

“Look at yooou. Oh Junnie… That style -- that color --looks so good on you~! Do you like it?”

Junhyung chortled. “Yeah, I like it. I told the stylist to ‘surprise me’.”

“And she did, I bet.”

“Yes. It’s new. I’m getting used to it. Seob’s gonna be so surprised.”

“Aww, yes he is. I can see his little face now. ‘Umma’s hair is red!!’” Kikwang mirrored in his perfect Yoseob voice. Junhyung got a laugh out of the impersonation.

“It’ll be something like that…”

“You get the baby tomorrow, don’t you?”

“I do,” Junhyung breathed, the other noticing the life flowing back into his face and body, “You know how listless I’ve been… I didn’t think being without him would be so difficult. I knew it would be, but not to this extent. I feel a little pathetic, actually… It’s just three days.”

“But that’s what makes it so cute, Jun. You can’t spend three days without him.”

Junhyung laughed some at that, “……I bought new clothes for him with the money you all gave me, and some presents for his birthday--”

“And you didn’t get a single thing for yourself,” Kikwang finished with a smirk.

“Correct,” Junhyung moseyed to the rack where his apron was suspended, “I want to make cupcakes for him, too, for when he comes back.”

“L-Let me make them! You’re technically supposed to be taking the day off, anyway,” Kikwang offered.

The other male tied the two strings behind his back expertly.

“No. Only I can make them.”

“Aww. That’s right, only umma Jun can bake his baby’s cupcakes with his love.”

An entertaining, soft-pink blush flashed over Junhyung’s cheeks.

“Shut up, Kiki. Get back to work.”