“If he left your compartment at 1 A.M and was seen on the aisle an hour later and we know he wasn’t with Kris during that time… then where was he?”

“Maybe… maybe he just went back to our compartment! It was empty, we wouldn’t have known!”

Stings of panic in his head had turned into violent carvings on his conscience, ferociously trying to find a way out, away from what looked as the awful truth. His face had turned warm from tears already.

“Tao-“

“No! No, no, no, it’s not him! Do you hear me, it’s not him! It’s Lay we’re talking about, for the love of God, the guy walks around as if just fell down from the moon, there’s no way he could have planned murdering off half his group, I tell you, it’s not him!” He could feel how his legs were about to collapse beneath him and the tears were almost blinding him. Why had he even started to talk? If only he hadn’t mentioned those bloody time zones!

“I do admit he seems to be in a bit of a daze sometimes…”

“Sir, he was born in a daze!,” he shouted desperately, his heart pounding painfully fast inside his chest, slamming against his ribs with every beat. A moment ago he had felt cold and drenched to the bone with ice. Now it felt rather as if someone had dropped him in a pool of oil and then chosen to use his soaking wet body as a fierce bonfire, his skin quickly becoming blazed and scorched before it was utterly burnt away. “And he just gave away his own alibi so that you would be able to pin the murder on Kris-“

“You just said it.”

“No! That’s not what I meant!,” Tao cried in a mix of fury and despair; he had started to walk back and forth in the small compartment, awkward about what to do with himself. “But charging Kris with the murders would be the obvious thing for you to do so if it really were Lay, then why shoot the prime suspect in the head? Kris would have been his salvation; it doesn’t make any sense for him to kill him!”

“Tao, please sit down, you need to calm your mind-“
“The Hell I won’t!”
“I told you that this murder was indeed fuelled by raw anger, it wasn’t thought a hundred per cent through. It was rash. Rash and stupid and it could perfectly well have been him. Frankly, it’s the most likely explanation now.”

Yolkov really looked truly sorry when he watched as Tao threw up his hands again as he walked back and forth in the small compartment, letting out a desperate whimper.

“Please, isn’t there something I can say to change this? It wasn’t Lay!,” he cried with a voice like a hurt child’s hysterical screams. “There must be something, please, it wasn’t him, it couldn’t be him, he’s not-“

“What?,” a cold voice from the door asked silently and they both looked up, startled. In the frame of the open door stood Lay, feverishly pale, yet calmer than any of them had seen him for hours. His hands were clenching a small gun, aimed at Tao. “I’m not what, exactly? Not smart enough? Not clever enough? Not… cunning enough?”

Even though his words were dripping with disdain as he spoke, he didn’t raise his voice once. He sounded so angry, so cynical, so completely un-Lay-like, Tao thought when his mind finally started to function again. Only, the thoughts that jumbled through his head seemed to be distorted, broken, not working anymore.
The sight of Lay in front of him with the gun in his hands had ruined something inside of him and he could feel how the tears started to dry out in his eyes to make room for an immense feeling of loss.

“Lay…”

“I know what you’re going to say. Was it you? Did you kill them? How could you do such a thing?” He spat on the floor, disgust starting to fill his eyes. “If you really must know… It wasn’t that hard. It was just a swift little motion of one single finger and there, dead. I’m not even sure it was me.” The slight curl that flashed on his lips hurt as if someone had pushed a blunt peg through his chest.

“You’re lying,” he whispered, his words barely audible. “It’s not true, you don’t mean that. You’re lying!”

For a moment, something that almost looked like regret showed up in his eyes, but it vanished as soon as it had appeared.

“Of course I am, how could anyone kill the only one they love and then say it was easy? Yes. I lied. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Tao. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s lying.”

If Tao had thought earlier on that his world had fallen apart, he was wrong. Seeing Sehun and Luhan dead in their compartment had shaken the foundations of his existence, examining the wound in Kris’ forehead had made the main pillars tremble, but this, the sight of Lay closing the door behind him as he went into the room, cold, unwavering and determined with the gun poised in his hand… This was what really made everything collapse.

“So… I suppose this is the moment when I confess everything.” Lay’s voice sounded almost mocking as he kept the gun pointed at Tao. His eyes were now as dead as Tao felt.

“Lay, just… just give me the gun, will you?,” he tried in something that felt like another person’s voice. “Give it to me and make a run for it. Please. You don’t have to confess anything!” He realised that he was still trying desperately to deny everything to keep his illusions alive, the way traffic victim is being kept alive artificially after brain dead. Now that he knew he didn’t want to know anymore.

“What about him?” Lay nodded at Yolkov.

“I’ll hold him back, I won’t let him take you, just go! Go!”

A sad smile crept onto Lay’s face and he shook his head.

“It’s too late Tao. I’m sorry…”
“No, shut up! Don’t say it!”
“I killed them.”

When the words had finally left his lips they were hanging in the room between them for a long time. Tao thought they were going to strangle him.

“Why?,” Yolkov said, breaking the silence.

“For all the reasons you said. You knew it all along, every motive, every move I made to make this work… You just pinned it on the wrong person.” He shrugged. “But I never thought you would actually believe it was Kai in the long run. It was only a matter of time before you began to think of me instead. And with Kris…” His face tightened. “Well, I suppose that made it crystal clear.”

“When you met Ilyin on the aisle you knew she hadn’t set her watch, so you asked her about the time to make sure she would remember it.”
“Yes.”

Tao wanted to get sick. The calm in Lay’s voice as he didn’t even try to deny anything was horrifying.

“And when Kris came begging for an alibi, you saw your chance to get yourself one as well. You were perfectly aware of what he had done, it wouldn’t be hard to convince us that he had threatened you to go along with it. Confessing the lie to Tao was actually a really clever move. You placed yourself in the role of the victim.”

“Almost.” Finally his voice shivered a little and Tao could see his eyes turn glassy. “I didn’t know Kris had been with Luhan all that time… I… I didn’t know it until Baekhyun told us…”

Everything fell into place as he spoke and Tao found himself answering before Yolkov had the chance.

“And that’s when you decided to kill him.”

The smile came back, wider this time and Tao was finally able to see that he was no longer looking at his friend.

“I came back into our compartment only half a minute before you. I was still holding the gun when you came in.” He actually chuckled. “If it hadn’t been for the dark you would have seen me going out of Kris’ room.”

“You hid the gun beneath the panda.” The words struggled to get out of his throat and he could feel how anger and disgust started to fill his ruined mind. Lay nodded.

“I did.”

“Now there’s just one problem…,” he sneered, letting the fury show on his face. It didn’t matter anyway. There was not enough of him left for it to matter. “You have to shoot us both now that you’ve told us. There’s no way out.”

“Of course there is.” Somehow, his face managed to go back to an expression Tao recognised as Lay’s. Mouth slightly open, eyes glowing with regret. He halfway expected him to release the tears he was holding back. “There is a way out and you know it. I’ve known it ever since Luhan rejected me the first time I suppose… I’m sorry Tao. I really am. You don’t deserve anymore.” There they were, the tears. Warm, human tears. It was as if a drop of something hot had been dropped on Tao’s heart and was now stitching it together as Lay stopped fighting against his emotions; his fake calm completely melted away.

“Then stop now.”

“There’s one more thing I have to do before it’s finished. It can’t end here and you know it. I’m sorry. Please tell the others that I’m sorry?” Fear was forming in his eyes.

“Tell them yourself!,” he shouted, feeling how tears were stinging behind his own eyes as well when it dawned upon him what Lay meant.

His friend shook his head.

“I’m sorry you have to see this, too…”
“NO!”

He threw himself forwards, but not fast enough. Lay took one step back to avoid his arms and lifted the gun to his mouth.
Before Tao caught him he had pulled the trigger.

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Author's note: Oh my god, I'm so sorry guys, I never realised it would take so long for me to finish this. I'm embarrased to the end of the world. I've just had so much trouble trying to write duting the last six months and I had no idea what to do. I'm so sorry, please forgive me! D: